Interesting times this country finds itself in right about now.

We’ve already reached the point where history is changed forever. Either a woman or a Black man is going to be the actually electable nominee to be the next President of the United States.

Glory day. Who’d a thunk it? Not I. I can honestly say I didn’t expect a Black man to ever really be put in this position in my lifetime. But I’ll be a monkey’s uncle if it ain’t the case.

So yeah, what to do?

I really don’t care much for politics at all, strange considering my actual day job. I’m knee deep in political shit on a day to day basis. That’s probably why I don’t care for politics now. I’ve been made into a total skeptic. Add to the fact that I’ve spent so much time studying radical and revolutionary organizations and my view of a government by the people, for the people, and of the people is that it’s utter bullshit.

Which is ALSO funny considering that despite my lack of trust and belief in the government…I work for the motherfuckers.

Thing is, these folks pay me every two weeks. On-time. Government money doesn’t come short, ya dig? Yeah, we’re heading for a recession but I’ll bet I’ve got some job security, Jack.

And Jill.

So Senator Barack Obama has a legit chance. Now being the skeptic that I am, I really couldn’t care less who ends up in the White House, Republican or Democrat. I know the process for which government runs and I realize that ideas are just that. Many an idea has died at the feet of Congress and the Executive Branch. However, I suppose you still have to try and believe…have the audacity of hope, if you will.

I suppose.

But see, I’m also a Black man. And being that there is a real chance that a Black man could become President I’ve stumbled upon a cause as to why I simply have to throw my weight behind Obama.

I cannot be responsible for Obama NOT getting elected. You see, if he doesn’t get the nomination, I can’t be one of the responsible people. I just can’t. Not when a Black man has a real chance. I can always vote for Hillary later. And truth be told, I don’t necessarily believe in either one of them any more than other. But I mean…

…as a Black man, how can I not support another Black man in his hour of most need? I realize that a lot of Black people are supporting Hillary Clinton’s bid. You vote with your head and decide which candidate best reflects your views. However, I’m pretty sure that some people out there, if they REALLY examined their views, would end up on the Republican side of things, but they aren’t going to vote for McCain. Voting for who inspires you is important and neither of the candidates really inspires me.

However…to hell with the issues. As long as they aren’t SO off-base with my own beliefs, the Black man is getting my vote everytime. Unless that Black man is Jesse or Al because my Blackness also can’t allow me to vote for them for shit.

We don’t know when we’ll get this opportunity again and yes I’m playing the race card. How can I not support a viable Black candidate who’s politics are similar enough to Hillary Clinton. I don’t see how any Black person can. I just cannot be the reason he didn’t get the opportunity. I couldn’t live myself given all the walking and talking I do about the Black community.

I know a lot of women are saying that Hillary’s woman-ness will focus more on women’s issues. But seriously, in our nation, outside of Roe v. Wade, which issues pertain strictly to women. Sure there are issues in the workplace about equal pay and treatment. But hell, that ALSO straddles racial lines. The majority of issues our nation faces are class issues, not ones of gender.

And lest we forget, Obama is married to a Black woman who will be in his ear. And since Hillary has trumpeted her time as Slick Willie’s wife as viable experience in the White House, then Michelle Obama will turn out to be just as qualified to advise on issues related to womenhood and bring those ideas to him. And ain’t no Black wife gonna just sit around idly and let her man NOT address certain things. Hell, Black women get mad when they think we aren’t handling a dinner bill with an error the appropriate way. You think she WOULDN’T get straight gully if he wasn’t doing what he said he was going to do?

But I digress.

Fact is I’m Black. And one of my Black comrades has the chance to do what hasn’t be done before.

And I can’t be a person standing in his way. I have to help his way.

So Obama…here’s looking at you, kid.

Ba-Rack The Vote, bitches.

happy hunting.

Washington D.C. is having the worst. week. ever.

Everybody around here is talking about the shooting death of Washington Redskin’s football player Sean Taylor, and rightfully so. It’s tragic when young people’s lives are taken in such a cavalier and reckless manner. Even more so in this case because the details make it sound like it was less a robbery and more personal. He was shot in his bedroom. And he had a machete.

I hate to do this here, but do you remember what T.I. was holding in his bedroom? Yeah, army guns–the type of army guns that turn over Humvees and take out missile silos in countries shooting for gold in the nuclear arms race. T.I.? Wouldn’t be a victim in a home invasion. Imagine what he was holding under his pillow. My guess is that it was some sort of semi-automatic hunting rifle. You know, the kind that gives animals a fair chance to get away!

Either way, R.I.P. Sean Taylor.

That’s not the only bad news in Washington right now. On Monday, a report was released about the AIDS epidemic in DC. And boy is it ugly. Turns out DC has the highest concentration of HIV/AIDS cases in the nation and that 9 out of 10 new HIV cases are…

…in Black women.

Click here to read the article.

You don’t need to be a statistician to know that those numbers are pretty shitty. Basically, if you aren’t strapping up in this city, you are an idiot. A first class idiot. In fact, your level of idiocy is unprecedented. Your level of idiocy is on par with Magic Johnson being the only living human being who seemingly has managed to get HIV to untraceable levels in his body. Which begs the question…if you can’t trace it, is it there? Hmm…think about it.

But you know what is there? Your lunacy.

So let’s think about this for a second. DC is already a terrible place to be a Black woman in search of man, notwithstanding some level of attractiveness. Face it, if you have bad face, your stuck anywhere except the Montana and West Virginia backwoods. And its not to say that you can’t find a mate its just to say that you have no choice in the matter–you take what you can get.

Sidenote: I went to this rather upscale “supper club” last night for a small gathering and I swear I saw the largest collection of women who looked like they might have been attractive 10 years ago. Seriously, I saw two women who looked seemingly attractive and that might have been more a addition-by-subtraction thing than a natural beauty thing.

So yes, it’s already a shitty place to be a single woman who’s looking for man. But NOW you have to think that every man is a walking STD. Truthfully, everybody should already feel like that given the amount of STDs available to the masses. And I say available because the way some people go raw with their sex lives you’d think they wanted an STD just to see what it felt like.

According to science? Not good. Though according to television, catching Herpes is just like going horseback riding. Actually the commercial more illustrates that you can still go horeseback riding. So I guess that one’s not so bad. Unless you’re that horse because I’ll bet NOBODY told the horse she had herpes! As if!

Ladies, check your weave.

Then rub your tits if you love Big Poppa.

Tits is a fun word.

So yes, bad dating scene, bad HIV scene, and not to mention the ridiculous subprime mortgage lending and foreclosure rate and gotdamn, DC just is not the place to be an unmarried Black woman. This is interesting because so many young Black people move to DC because it’s a city with a young professional Black crowd of substance and visibility. In some places, being a Black person with a graduate degree makes you important. In DC it makes you manager at McDonald’s. And even then it only qualifies you for the job. EVERYBODY in DC has a damn graduate degree. I myself have 7 of them! Okay that’s not true at all. But this is DC, its possible. For Black people, its exciting to be in a city where there are lots of people like yourself who are about something and can read.

Reading is fundamental.

But now what? I remember when I read the article in the Post about women’s struggles to find a man in this city and women everywhere were in arms about it. Interestingly enough, the ratio in DC was better compared to the nation as a whole. Something like 8.3 marriageable Black men (with the .3 accounting for the myth, they don’t call it the Beltway for nothing!) to 10 women compared to 7 to 10 for the rest of the nation. But now you have to ask about their peders. Talk about your uncomfortable first date question:

Chick: So, Brian, I know your not gay, but do you have AIDS? Just askin!

Brian: Check please!

OH…and not to mention that in the article it stated that it wasn’t homosexual interactions that were making up for the majority of cases. Nope, it was the straight people. You can now remove that “gay-man’s disease” bullshit from your domes.

The moral of the story here kiddies is that if you are a young Black woman thinking of moving to DC, take your happy ass to Philly where all you have to worry about is getting shot just for breathing. At least that might take you out quickly.

AIDS?

Not so much.

By now, most folks have heard about the uproar in Detroit where a promoter decided to throw a party where Lightskinneded womenses and Libras got in free. If you haven’t, please do read the article.

*smoke break*

You back? Well, welcome!

I’ve heard numerous individuals discussing this story and lots of folks have harassed this young man for his colorism and ignorance in deciding to add fuel to the color cocophony in this country by further dividing an already divided race of people who’ve been hurt enough by white people’s focus on skin color. Why–oh why–would we do it to our own.

Poor fellow. He’s gone and cancelled his party and listened to the cries of the men and women who speak out against such atrocities in our community.

They should all eat a dick and die.

From the heart.

It’s amazing how stories and intentions can get totally misconstrued and fucked the fucked up through the little game we call “Telephone”. Hell, read the headline to the linked article. I first heard about this through some club promoters in DC telling me about this “light-skinned party” in Detroit and how this guy was throwing a party for lightskinned people. No mention of the Lightskinned FREE that night or that it was a party for everybody. We actually then engaged in a discussion of what kind of self-hate party we could throw in DC.

We landed on “Light and White in White” — a party where only lightskinned people dating white people could come through as long as they were wearing white. We’d serve fried chicken martini’s with watermelon slices. It’s amazing the ignorance that’s possible when you get enough like-minded ignant motherfuckers in the same place. Viva la imagination!

Anyway, upon further review, it turns out this promoter, DJ Lish, was planning on doing upcoming parties in a series, if you will, that would include dark skinned and the nebulous “ain’t light but ain’t dark” or better known as the “caramel” sisters.

IGNANT SIDENOTE: You know we have too much food in America when Black folks take to describing our color in food terms. I ain’t never met an African who refers to him or herself as a Chocolate drop. Perhaps coicidentally, there’s some starving ass motherfuckers over there too. You get to calling yourself Choco-Latay and you just might get cannibalised. Too. much. food. in. America.

Let’s delve a little shall we? Was this fellow slightly misguided? Perhaps. Any time you decide to throw skin tone into the mix with los Negros, you’re welcoming criticsm. Face it, we’re still a bunch of people who are psychologically and literally paying for our God (or whoever you pray to) given blessings. And because of that, skin tone issues are largely a sparkplug for outrage.

Hmm, fuck that.

Let me rephrase this (which is the source of this dude’s problem). Ever since the slavery days, lightskinned and dark skinned folks have been at odds. Sometimes blatantly, sometimes latently. Think about the barbs thrown our way. People ALWAYS resort to using somebody’s skin tone when making disparaging comments.

“Lightskinned bitch thinks she’s better than me!”

“Dark skinned motherfucker lookin’ like midnight!”

And we wonder why white people do it.

Thing is, implicit in both of those statements lies the problem. There’s a clear ideology about how skin tone plays into society. Light is right and dark is, well…dark. And we’ve all bought into it in some way shape or form. It’s a sad state of affairs but its unfortunately the state we live in. It’s like living in Montana when you know California exists.

It’s like rain on your wedding day. Oh wait, that’s actually ironic.

Or not. Am I the only person who got slightly peeved that she called so many things that weren’t actually ironic, ironic? She kept noting coincidences, not ironies. Though I suppose saying, “Now isn’t it a coincidence” doesn’t have the same punch. But I digress.

Dark skinned people constantly get the short end of the stick. And it sucks. But you know, that’s not really lightskinned people’s fault. It’s white people’s fault, but much like Black-on-Black crime…

…we STAY robbing the wrong people.

Yes, Black people stay losing.

So here comes DJ Lish, who from my perspective only made one real mistake.

He threw the wrong party first. But let’s think about this. How many of you people are party promoters? And for those who’ve been doing it for a while, how difficult is it to come up with something that actually draws people in? Promoting sucks. There are really not that many things you can do as a promoter to really draw folks in short of random gimmicks. Enter DJ Lish.

And he had a good idea. It’s a winner, a gimmick catered to the very women most men harp on in the media. Light chicks.

“…and all the wavey light skinned girls is loving me now…” ~ Jay - Z “December 4th”

Wrong or right, it’s true. And I’m sure a lot of light skinned reading chicks probably hate the lightskinned-points they get, but they sure don’t mind the attention. But the point is promoters need gimmicks to draw people in. Promotion is an ugly game.

So he picked the Light and Libra party. Bad move bucko, but not a bad idea. You should have just started with the Sexual Chocolate first because niggas hate color schemes, but don’t mind Chocolate as much as we mind Light-skinned preference. We actually love it when people of darker-hue receive recognition.

Read: India.Arie’s fanbase.

I think the outrage wouldn’t have been as loud for that party. Color me stupid and call me Renee but I think that our color issues intra-racially are far more skewed towards wanting to knock light-skinned “bitches” down a peg or two. So of course, any party that celebrates and benefits a woman’s light-skinnededness is going to catch hell. And the purveyor is going to catch wreck.

I wish this DJ would call me because I’d love to tell him not to listen to the motherfuckers who called for his head and have decided that he realizes he was wrong and should work on being a better person.

Fuck them.

Is he naive? Clearly, he thought he was just going to throw a party that allowed light-skinned chicks to gain entry free one night, but what he got was national attention and articles and phone calls. Playing with skin-tone is playing with fire, bucko. You can still play that game but you have to play it smarter. It’s actually a win-win. You throw that first Sexual Chocolate party and you can’t NOT throw the other two.

That’s how you stay winning.

But this dude has been reprimanded and scoffed at and I think that’s total bullshit. Not a bad idea, just bad judgement and decision-making on his part. Intra-race issues will be present forever, but everything ain’t as terrible as we want it to be.

Except the “Light and White and White” Party…there’s just no excuse for that one.

Word to Al Sharpton.

I wonder if white people walk into a room full of white people and notice that everybody is, ya know, white?

I know I do (I’m Black though). Everytime I walk into a room where the overwhelming majority of people are white I not only notice but I look for the other person(s) of color in the room. Of course, once I notice them, we spend the the duration of time that we’re in said location pretending not to notice one another.

But we notice. Oh, how we notice. I’m sure that white people do it as well if they walk into a room full of coloreds. But that’s mostly because they’re in jail at that point and it’s going to be lights out pretty soon for them anyway.

Lights out?!? That’s a pun and I didn’t even intend it. There should be a term for those puns that people accident-upon. Something like: no pun intended.

That’d be swell.

This recognition-lack of recognition of one another makes me realize something: Black people are fucked. We have the worst sense of unity of any other cultural group; I’m convinced of it. I went to both an HBCU and a big ole’ white public state school on the East Coast. At HBCU’s there’s no rush to speak or even notice all the Black people since we’re in such abundance. Nevermind that it’s a completely false representation of the real world and that it shouldn’t be taken for granted that we’re in the midst of likeminded individuals who can actually read and aren’t afraid of information at the same place at the same time. Yet we kind of gloss over the importance and landmarkism of it.

It’s college, who the fuck cares. Give me my hours and give me my degree. Fuck you, pay me.

Amazing how many people long for the constant recognition of successful driven Black people once they graduate (unless you went to Morehouse since ninjas apparently don’t graduate from there much) and re-enter the world we’re all more familiar with — you know, the world where its hard as hell to find the professional Black crowd and we’re often left longing for the intellectual stimulation that comes along with late night arguments about which A Tribe Called Quest album was better, The Low-End Theory or Midnight Marauders.

It’s Midnight Marauders, by the way. You can disagree but you will be wrong.

At our HBCU’s we see eachother but we don’t really notice one another. We’re just all there so we assume we’ll always be there. Don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone kind of thing.

And then we have the big ass state schools were there’s usually a handful of coloreds who STILL make all attempts NOT to notice one another. When I went to Big Ass State University, every time I’d see a Black person I’d speak. Hell, we had the same struggle. We were pepper sprinkles in a big ass cauldron of salt. Not just that, but filled with lots of salt that didn’t really want much peppering.

Ignored.

Constantly. At first I took it personal. Why on earth would these motherfuckers have the audacity to not respond back to me saying “hello.” These northern bastards. Then I realized that its part of the same shit we all do, even amidst times when we should have unity. We spend time noticing but not noticing one another as if to act like we don’t need to.

We have no unity. We have no unity when we’re unified and we have no unity when we should have unity and the opportunity exists. I don’t give a damn if I’ve never met you in life. If I walk into a KKK meeting and I see a Black cat you better believe I’m going to notice him since we have a common struggle.

Assuming I’m at a KKK meeting out common struggle is probably literally a struggle but hey, common is common.

Unless it’s Common Sense. Which is just not what it used to be.

That’s got a double meaning.

Sometimes I’ll go out of my way to speak to the other Negroes in a room. Of course, then we look like a gang which is never a good thing when you’re in the midst of a bunch of people who know how to dial 911 and aren’t afraid that 911 won’t result in action.

Our lack of unity — which is partially caused by our rise in social and economic status, face it, we don’t all have the same struggle anymore — is ultimately our downfall. We want equality but we all won’t even get on the same page in a room full of people who don’t look like us. Which is why Black people are fucked.

I only wish we’d notice.

Justice.

Of all the words that have had any semblance of meaning since Black people were mercilessly brought to the United States, justice is the word that has had the most lasting effect. Not the n-word. Not racism.

Justice.

Black people have been searching for justice for hundreds of years. Sadly, we’ve yet to find any. The Jena 6 is a prime example of the lack of justice that America see’s fit to don upon Black people. Everything about that case just reeks of differential treatment and outright arrogance on the part of the prosecutors of LaSalle Parish in Louisiana.

It reminds me of the movie “Ghosts of Mississippi” where Byron De La Beckwith tells the Assistant DA Bobby DeLauder that “no jury in the state of Mississippi would convict a white man of killing a Black man.” Sure that was 1963 (initially) and he was acquitted of killing Medgar Evers at the time but for some reason those words just resound to me.

Those 6 young men were arrested for what amounts to a fistfight. The white student was up and running and attending events that very evening yet Louisiana is ready to put these young men in jail for damn near life? Mychal Bell, the first convicted, had his charges thrown out for battery and assault because the state claims he should have been tried as a juvenile.

Hmm…what about the people who put the nooses up? That’s a hate crime. This whole fucking country has issues. Hell, in Darfur, AMERICA was loathe to call what was happening genocide, because that means that we’d have to get involved. Sure, we can police the Middle East, but to hell with Africa.

Justice.

I’ll always contend that race relations in this country will remain the way they are now forever. Black people think everything is racism and white people think nothing is racism and that’s about as close to the middle as we’ll ever get. But what I’ve always wondered is why white people seem to ignore the impetus for our reasoning? Black people have been lynched for doing so much as looking at a white woman without even a hint of fear of paying for it.

In layman’s terms: for hundreds of years a white man could kill a Black man with reckless abandon because they had a justice system on their side. Not even just on their side; gleefully on their side. For fuck’s sake, any white man could walk into a courtroom with a smile and some sweetened tea and just wait for “justice” to prevail. That justice would be the white man getting acquitted for crimes he might actually have admitted to.

Justice.

How am I, a Black man raised to believe in people supposed to feel when I know that people can and will justify any and everything. A few weeks ago at the University of Maryland-College Park, Maryland’s flagship institution of higher learning, a noose was hung from a tree near the Black student union. Amazingly it allegedly stayed there for a week before it was taken down. I’d be willing to bet my life on it that for as many Black people who were offended and even scared that something like that would happen on a very diverse campus, as many white students claimed it was just a prank and not to take it so seriously.

A noose. A symbol of white power for hundreds of years. It symbolised the white man’s ability to get away with murder. It also symbolised the fear that Black people had to endure because ultimately, a white man could get away with murder.

Mind you, I recognize that the system was more to blame than merely the individuals involved. However, what kind of people could accept a system that devalued human life in such a manner. The problem is that in America, the system trumps all. Everybody can hide behind the law. Almost 600,000 people in the District of Columbia have no elected voting representation in Congress because of the “law”. Forget what’s implicity right. Nevermind that whatever advantage the addition of a voting member in the House for the District would totally be offset by an additional House seat in Utah. It violates the “law”. And that is what’s most important. Laws intended to protect and serve. However, residents of the district don’t get a say in the laws they are ultimately held accountable to.

Justice.

As a young Black man I have an unhealthy distrust for the justice system. I always worry that if I’m stopped for anything other than a routine traffic stop, I’m going to jail and I might never see the light of day again. Why do I think so negatively? Because it’s a real possibility. The stakes are so high for Black people, and men in particular, that achieving a certain age is akin to an actual accomplishment. I can actually brag on never having been to jail. That is a problem.

We live in a country where justice has two prongs: white justice as displayed in Jena, Louisiana (lest we forget that a gun was pulled on a group of Black students yet no charges were filed…let me try that on somebody and see what happens), and Black justice as displayed in Jena, Louisiana where six young men who got into a fist-fight were charged with attempted murder (later reduced to battery and assault).

Further, let us not forget that it all started because there was an actual “white” tree in Jena, Louisiana. A situation where until the status quo was questioned, all people were just as happy to live their lives in their own version of American reality. If anything, this entire saga just teaches us that as Black youth, if you attempt to challenge the status quo that the American way of life accepted, you just might find yourself staring down the barrel of a 25 to life.

I hope and pray that all of the demonstrating gets the message across. I’m proud of all of those individuals who made their way to Jena to protest and demonstrate. My hat’s off to them. I’m just sad that in 2007 in America, a nation that feels we can trumpet our way of life across the world as a paragon of the right way to do things, we still have a situation where a Black man’s life can mean so little.

And there are just way too many examples to illustrate that point.

Justice.

I don’t like talking about people’s mommas, but umm…

…Michael Vick’s momma needs a good talking to.

How in Sam Hill do you raise TWO superstar, abnormally, talented fuck-up athletes and not once sit them down and teach them the difference between right and wrong?

And for the record, I don’t think the dogfighting is the most heinous thing one can do. Hell it isn’t even illegal in all states. However, electrocuting, hanging, beating to death, and any other inhumane crime to a dog is why I think that nigga should fry.

Fuckin’ fry him. Throw the book at him and the kitchen sink. Put his ass in jail with Shillinger from Oz. I’m a pet lover to the nth degree. I love animals and I hate when bad things happen to animals. Unless of course said animal is trying to maul me or something, in which case, well…

…they do say all dogs go to heaven.

The jury’s out on grizzly bears who attack kids and little people on camping trips in the woods. Then again, how would you feel if somebody broke off into your crib and tried to eat dinner there like nothing was wrong. You just might go all bear on their asses, now mightn’t you?

Back to the point. Michael and Marcus Vick are fuck-ups. Marcus, though not completely understandable at all, at least wasn’t making the big bucks yet. Then again, there is never any excuse for stomping on the leg of a downed player on the field risking major injury to him. I was going to go into his rap sheet, but fuck it, google his ass or check Wikipedia. He’s had numerous run-ins with the law.

And Michael, oh Michael. Savior of Atlanta and godsend to the NFL. He became the damn face of the NFL so you’d THINK that at some point he might say to himself, “Self, perhaps I should stay on the straight and narrow (and not call myself Ron Mexico anymore) and protect the hundreds of millions of dollars I’m making. You know, that sounds like a good idea!”

His self and himself didn’t have that conversation though. So then we have the infamous Ron Mexico fiasco. Mind you, I actually think that the name Ron Mexico is a good damn name…spreading genital herpes and then signing into treatment clinics under an assumed porn-star alias? Not such a good look.

Speaking of not good looks, there’s that little “water bottle” incident that happened on his way out of Miami. I don’t give a shit if the results came back as negative. Why WOULD you use a bottle specifically used for hiding drugs? He might not have been busted that time, but his ass was definitely using that for other shit at other times. Fuck the justice system, I know guilty when I see it.

All eyez on Vick.

Then we have the now infamous and potential career-ending, jail-directing, money-decreasing, Bad Newz Kennelz dogfighting ring. Like I said, I’m kind of neither here nor there on dogfighting. But when you go torturing fuckin’ animals for sheer amusement, well fuck you. And dumbass…he said he had no knowledge of what was going on there.

Man, too bad they have that whole “state’s witness” problem because once niggas start busting out the gymnastics and flipping on your ass, it’s a rap, chico. One cat already flipped. You think he ISN’T going to take Vick down? Fuck it, I don’t ever want to see any parts of jail.

And NOW they’re trying to get him on some RICO shit (google it). He might lose his livelihood AND all of his money. Which all begs the question…

…what exactly was Vick’s momma telling her sons while they wre growing up. Granted they grew up in the projects and there are definitely lessons that are learned the hard way, but these niggas reek of behaviorial- and bad judgement- issues. It’s like they just don’t realize that, “hey, I’ve come from nothing with all of the potential in the world to make millions for what I can do with a ball…but ya know, the measly thousands I can make dogfighting are something I just have to do for my boys…”

Is Michael Vick being targeted? Yep. And its his own damn fault. Was Marcus Vick being targeted? Nope, he’s just an idiot. But the blame all falls on the parents and what they didn’t teach the kids early on…

…do. not. be. a. dumb. nigga.

They must have been at practice that day.

And no, this isn’t a review of the television show on BET. I haven’t watched the show and have no plans to do so. It’s on BET. AND it used to be “Hot Ghetto Mess”. When I said I wanted new original programming at BET, somehow, this isn’t what I envisioned.

Nope.

A few weeks ago now (or sometime last month) a bunch of niggas made strides for the Black community with their attempts at building our long lacking self-esteem and showing the young Black people that we can make it despite whatever obstacles, either historical or present, are lobbed our way.

The NAACP buried the n-word. Now this isn’t news to anybody clearly. This made national news and opinions were plentiful. I didn’t really pay much attention to most opinions because I felt like this was the biggest damn waste of time in the history of wasting time. This is up there with Sheila Jackson-Lee’s uber-fucking-stupid attempts a few years ago to get hurricane’s named after Black people. I wonder how she feels now that motherfucking Katrina wiped out a bunch of niggas. Somebody needs to follow up with her on that one pronto. You know Black people have too much time on our hands when we introduce affirmative action into the weather.

I mean, really.

I also think it was just damn dumb. I’m a big fan of symbolism. I really am; especially symoblism that turns a system on its ear and makes a splash.

Burying the n-word? No splash. The funny shit is that I’m not convinced that none of the niggas in the NAACP don’t use the n-word. It’s just too easy a word to use if you’re Black. It really is. I’ve actually made attempts to stop using it to no avail. No dice. I’m sure I could stop if I really wanted to, but you know what, I like the n-word. Just like I like cursing. Makes for much more spirited conversations.

My main beef with symbolic gestures like the NAACP’s is that it stops there. After the burial there is nothing. There’s no real significance. AND it just sounds like a dumb ass idea. Corny. Contrived. A waste of resources. In fact, I want to know who green lighted this idea. I sincerely hope that this wasn’t on the docket of important business for the NAACP and that somebody just threw this shit out around the watercooler one day and a bunch of niggas ran with it. If it wasted no more than 15 minutes of actual “we could be changing the world” time then I suppose I ain’t but so mad aside from the lack of significane in the aftermath.

But once again, it is the NAACP and my guess it that these niggas have nothing better to do until the next nigga comes along and screams racism somewhere…

Speaking of which, I have to say something here that might be of unfavorable view. But man, niggas owe them Duke Lacrosse players a big motherfucking apology. MAN…I’m so glad I kept my opinion to myself on that one. However it gets to a much bigger issue, and one that will need to be expanded upon in the future.

As Black people, we are so tired of being trampled upon and outcast that when something does go down, we tend to act out emotionally first. There is no judge and jury. Everybody’s guilty. And that does pose a problem. It means that we think too many of our own aren’t guilty and too many other people are guilty. It’s a legitimate reaction-solely based on the amount of shit Black people have had to and still have to go through-but its one that more times than not needs further examination.

Tawanna Brawley anyone? True, indeed, there are more than enough instances where we are completely justified in our reactions and responses, however, when we’re wrong we tend to just move on to the next shit (Al Sharpton) with very little in the way of regretting any mistakes.

Yeah so pretty much, all the problems in the Black community are Al Sharpton’s fault since he’s at the center of all the ruckus in the Black community.

Think about that for a minute.

Anyway, random I know. But its Friday, and I’m bored.

It was written.

That Lauryn Hill, what a prophet.

Today’s post is being brought to you by the good people of Jackson G. Tickle Enterprises and the letter W.

Followed by the letter T. And not so far behind, the letter F.

Put it together class and what do you get?? WTF.

As in the what the fuck was Fantasia thinking when she wrote some of the shit that is on her newest album, the self-titled Fantasia?

Despite that question, I find myself feeling warmed by her album.

Do you know why I appreciate artists like Fantasia (and similarly people like Jagged Edge or Mary J. Blige, during the Great Crackskapades of the early to mid 90s)? I love them because they do not run away from their inner-ghetto. You see, so many of us el Negroes try to hide from the fact that we do indeed possess ghetto bones.

I have some. Do you? It’s okay. In fact, anybody with ghetto bones, please, with a show of hands…show yourself!

*hands a-waving*

Ahh…the smell of truth.

Being the ghetto queen that Fantasia apparently is (down to the inordinate education), she has decided that she was going to make an album for her people. What people would that be? The same people who actually found her song “B.A.B.Y.M.A.M.A.” to be a rallying cry and an endearing, honorable tribute to the single, un-wed mother.

Not that there is anything wrong with being a single, un-wed mother. Then again, there is a hell of a difference between being a babymama and a single mother. Color me ignorant, but it seems that Fantasia made it okay (once again, to her fans) to aspire to be a baby mama whereas a single mother would usually rather not be in that situation. But once again, color me ignorant.

And then color me bad. Ohhh…beeeeeeeehave.

On her newest magnum opus, Fantasia has a song entitled “Uneligible”.

I’d like to take a quick smokebreak, so please re-read that last sentence as many times as you need.

*smokebreak*

If you’re anything like me, you probably looked at that word a few times before calmly asking yourself, “is that a word?”

Then, I briskly walked to my dictionary to check. Nope…in fact, I’m about to go look at my office dictionary right now.

Hold, please.

*holding*

Nope, not in my office dictionary. It goes from unedited to unemotional. But you know what I did find?

Ineligible.

A one letter variance, but a signficant one nonetheless. Which begs the question…two questions actually: why not just use the word ineligible?; and why doesn’t she have any friends who tell her better?

Oh, she answers that on the album’s last song, “Bump What Ya Friends Say”.

Well, okay then.

You’ve really got to love songs like that don’t you? The song “Uneligible” is about the good men who all seem to be “uneligible.” Ooh, ooh, I have a question!!!

Since she refers to her men as uneligible, does that actually make them uneligible? Perhaps there is some subtle distinction between ineligible and uneligible…perhaps her men just ain’t available (hence, uneligible) whereas ineligible men are just not qualified!!!

Perhaps Fantasia is the smart one. She’s done gone and created a new word, probably by accident since I don’t actually respect her mind. Sad, I know.

But until she can read one of my posts I stand by my statement.

Ouch.

What I do appreciate about her new album is that she really holds nothing back. For instance, here are some of the song titles: “I Nominate U” (c’mon, don’t we all really want to be nominated for something??), “Baby Makin’ Hips” (you laugh, but I love me a woman with baby makin’ hips), “Two Weeks Notice” (not sure how this really applies to her people since most of them are probably fans of being babymamas and probably work at places that a two week notice probably ain’t all that necessary, let alone a two minute notice).

Ouch again.

I’m mean.

Then there’s that guaranteed hot shit, “Bore Me (Yawn)”. I actually have to give Fantasia a lot of credit here. People often give you song titles, but when was the last time people gave you the intransitive verb to go with their song title?

Did Babyface? How much better is this song title: “Every Time I Close My Eyes (Blink)”?

Or “There She Goes (Point)”?

Clearly, he’s not as forward thinking as Fantasia.

And the entire album makes sense because her first single is “Hood Boy”, a sort of double entendre since clearly she needs a hood boy, and it’s also apparently who she mad the album for, the “hood, boy”.

Deep. Perhaps I do respect her mind. A broke clock may be right only twice a day, but when it’s right, it’s right.

Mind you, a lot of this stuff is actually pretty good, music-wise, and she can sing despite the fact that I pretty much don’t like her voice at all. What’s really funny is that for every person I’ve mentioned that she has as song called “Uneligible”, every body thinks its okay because Fantasia apparently isn’t the scholar we all pray for.

And she can’t read, though I’m inclined to believe that she’s probably made headway in that deparment since her admission. Which if I’m not mistaken was during the “writing” of her book. Dictaphone never had it so good!

All in all, I appreciate Fantasia for what she brings to the table. Unapologetic ignorance. She exists to make me realize that people like us do have a place in the world. For me, it’s at the table with lawmakers and hookers, for her it’s at the library, but there is a place nonetheless.

Irregardless of what we may all think, Fantasia is finna do things her way. And through her, we are all connectededed.

She is us and we are her.

Thank you Fantasia for keeping it real and damn you to Hell for causing a whole new generation of little ninjas who will undoubtedly think that the word “uneligible” is actually real and okay since it’s a song that I think women who can’t find a good man will be drawn towards.

Thank you Fantasia, for not crossing over but bringing the suburbs to the ‘hood.

“He’s a nigger.”

Everybody in the world by this point has heard about Michael Richards’ blow up the other day. I’ve turned his name into a verb, adjective, and adverb by this point.

I called somebody a Michael Richard’s ass nigga the other day.

I wasn’t exactly outraged by the video clip. Perhaps I’ve just come to accept these things as part of society. Sure he was wrong, and sure he’s a bigot, and yes I believe he meant exactly what he said. Thing is, I don’t actually think he’s any different than any number of white people out there.

Or Black people.

Us Black people just don’t have a word that evokes the same type of historical symbolism as the dreaded n-word. If we had one, I’m sure we’d be using it too.

Mind you, none of that makes it okay. Michael Richards was wrong on all fronts. He wasn’t even funny. He seemed like a possessed jack-ass.

Well, of course, the Black community is responding to this incident through recharged efforts to stop everybody from using the n-word. I use the n-word. A lot actually. Not even intentionally. I think I’ve just been using it so long, for whatever reason, that it’s become second nature. I never use it around white people, which makes me believe that I could stop if I wanted to. Similar to cursing in front of one’s parents. I don’t curse in front of mom dukes.

Anyway, everybody’s favorite Johnny-come-lately civil rights group, the NAACP, has taken up the cause of trying to eradicate the usage of the n-word. And though I think that there are a million other problems more worth addressing, this time, I just might pay attention to their efforts because of one man.

Paul Mooney.

According to Allhiphop.com, Paul Mooney has taken to stopping his usage of the word.

Legendary African-American comedian Paul Mooney, who has written controversial material for comedians like Richard Pryor and Dave Chappelle, is well known for his using the word in his own comedy routines.

Like Paul Wall and the late Richard Pryor, Mooney has vowed to never use the word again during his routine. “I’ve used it and abused it, and I never thought I’d say this,” Mooney said. “Richards is my Dr. Phil ��� he’s cured me.”

Anybody familiar with Paul Mooney knows how often he uses that word. I mean, one of his favorite lines was that he said the word 100 times when he woke up in the morning because it kept his teeth white.

So for Paul Mooney to decide that he will no longer use the word, similar to the path of Richard Pryor and other luminary comedians of the past, at least gives me pause.

Not exactly pause enough to stop using it, but it at least makes me think. I suppose I’m somewhat of a contradiction when it comes to the n-word. For one, I will never use it around white people…ever. It just seems stupid to me to do so. However, I still use it around Black people. And I know that the hip-hop community has co-opted it into a term of endearment and legions of n-words everywhere think nothing of it as we use it daily, but it is still problematic.

For instance, we hate the Confederate battle flag, which is a symbol of the old, racist, slave-holding South. Black folks get into a tizzy when they see that flag. Yet we use the other symbol, the n-word.

My solution has long just been to do the same thing that we did with the n-word. Make it ours. I’ve planned on creating a red, black, and green confederate battle flag for years. And Lil Jon and Andre 3000 have both rocked Black and White confederate flags in videos.

Then again, that doesn’t really make much of a change now does it? I’d like to say I’m torn here, but I’m really not. I like doing things that spark controversy and a red/black/green Confederate flag would do just that. But I also like inciting some sort of emotion in racist white people…

…and defacing that flag does just that. I can imagine me walking around in Alabama with my own t-shirt version of that flag. Hell, I might get beat down because of it.

Guess that would be what it feels like for a white man to call a Black man a nigger…because white rednecks take that flag seriously.

I have no idea if I’ll ever really stop using the n-word. I suppose at some point I’ll just get tired of it or perhaps I’ll see the “light”. Maybe not. It doesn’t offend me that much. And I’m around like 8 white people in my entire life right now. And none of them would call me that to my face so I don’t even get the opportunity to get riled up about it anymore like I used to when I was in high school in Alabama.

It’s often strange to me what causes us to get active in this nation as Black people. We need some sort of impetus to bring to the people so that we can get motivated about something. People use the n-word everyday, white people I mean, but the second a famous person says it, we are able to organize into some sort of driving force.

I’m not sure how I feel about that. What’s the good of being an organization if you only act when something bad happens? You can never really create change if your only reactive. It’s transparent. If you only show up after the fire but don’t do anything in the first place to prevent it, you lose credibility, which is usually where I stand with the NAACP and lots of the once prominent civil rights organizations. No more proactivity…all reactive.

All in all, this whole discussion about the n-word is interesting. One, everybody knows all of the problems and everybody knows the most easy and effective solution. But nobody knows if it will make a difference. If nobody, whites or Blacks, used the n-word, would anything really change? Does it even count as a step in the right direction? I suppose in some ways it does…then again, I’m skeptical as race will never go away and therefore racism will never go away.

I mean, we’ll all be different colors forever.

Perhaps without the n-word we wouldn’t have to be reminded of it verbally.

Unfortunately, we’ll always be able to still feel it…

Such is life.

[***Make sure you continue voting in both the Janet Jackson and Halle Berry brackest in the October Madness 2006 tournament here and over at The Royal Youngs. ***]

Over the past few months, newspapers and magazines have been informing the world that enrollment at HBCU’s has been declining rapidly since the 70s and 80s. Some question the usefulness of these Black bastions of higher education, if not altogether claiming that the education is second rate.

I poo-poo on both of those assertions.

For the unitiated, HBCU stands for “historically black college and/or university”. You may know it as a Black school or college. There are somewhere in the neighborhood of just over 100 currently enrolling students today. The most well-known HBCU’s would be Morehouse College, Spelman College, Howard University and a bevy of others mostly down South to include Florida Agricultural and Mechanical University (FAMU), Southern University, etc. As an added bonus, allow me to provide you the definition I wrote back in 2004 and a snippet of a post I’d written about HBCU’s:

HBCU(acronym). noun. def.-college generally located in southern region of United States (though can be found in Southwest, Northeast, and Carribean if you think about…they all black down thurr) without: air conditioned dorms, up to date computer systems, computer labs, computers, large pockets of white people, large pockets of black teachers, proper security, helpful administration, quick service, good service, graduating students, students, etc.

And:

“…really, I loved my school and advertise for them all the time…all the BS they put me through made me a better person and caused me to grow up. Without a doubt, it was the best 4 years of my life and I recommend the HBCU experience to anybody, especially specific schools to which I hold a little bit of bias towards. The relationships I built will last forever. But there definitely are some things that need addressing. Pronto…”

Everybody that’s gone to an HBCU has experienced some major issue that could have caused cardiac arrest from the revokation of scholarships (over and over), the lack of housing, or just other random non-sense, mostly administration based. And for those reasons some people think that some HBCU’s need to close.

I’m of a different train of thought. You see, I not only think HBCU’s are necessary, but I’d wager that the education received at an HBCU (in its entirety) is better than the education received at any major or Ivy league institution.

Yeah, I said it.

Fuck Harvard. Morehouse trumps all. And for the record, I attended a major-state, nationally reknowned university for graduate school, so I’m very well versed in both circles.

But Panama, how could you possibly think that the education you receive at Texas Southern University is better than UT-Austin? That makes no sense at all.

I’m gonna learn ya. And you know, this goes for white people too. I’m not saying that white people should overrun our beloved HBCU’s, but I think the education they’d get would trump the education at these other schools as well. Let’s get educated, shall we? Yes, let’s.

1) In short, I know more Black people than you do if you went to a white school.

This cannot be stressed enough. I have a vast network of ninjas at my disposal at all times…and further, ninjas that can read. A lot of people I know that went to white schools graduate and move to some new city where they have to meet all the professional Black people unless they move back home. It’s usually easier if you’re in a fraternity or sorority, but what if you aren’t? Who wants to join the Urban League strictly to meet new people of color? Not I says the sexxy one. Lucky for me, I don’t have too. I know them all and can find them anywhere like Creative Source.

Speaking of networking, a lot of people make a big deal about the registration woes every semester. Well, I tend to see it like this…

2) Registration is the best networking event of a year at an HBCU.

So let me get this right. If you go to a white school, you don’t even have to show up until the day of school and you’re more than likely registered? When I was at Morehouse, we stood in line for hours. And you know what happens when you stand in line for hours? You meet beaucoup people. If you can’t network there, you can’t network anywhere. There’s no reason NOT to meet people since you’re going to spend all day with them anyway. Friendships are forged, life stories are told. It’s like the a social mixer for reading ninjas. Hell, folks pay $20 to get into a club to meet folks. Imagine paying $10,000 a year JUST to stand in line to go to class. And if you went to the right HBCU, you could be standing in line to the heir to a multi-million dollar industry or the son of a world famous entertainer…or just a ninja who has the hook up on pre-release CD’s or knows who to call when your car gets booted.

No registration, no free CD’s!

3) You learn about real responsibility.

Hmm…how do I explain this one. I lost my scholarship three times while I was at Morehouse. Sophomore, Junior, and Senior year. I was placed on academic probation once. Mind you, none of this was actually my fault. I never received a grade lower than a B the whole time I was there***. But the administration simply lost my shit. As in, lost my scholarship papers and lost some of my grades. So what does a young Black male who’s about to lose his potential livelihood do? He whips out the scholarship papers that he carries with him EVERYWHERE and shows them to the Dean, who promptly pressed a button on the computer and problem solved.

I learned to keep EVERY piece of paper I received with official letterhead on it. I still have a note from a professor that says “hi” on it just in case she tries to say she never said “hi” to me. If that isn’t responsibility, I don’t know what is. Though it has caused problems for me later. For instance, I keep every one of my bills, causing an overabundance of paper taking up space in my home. But if they try to say I didn’t pay a bill in 1999, I got their asses!

***Okay, that’s not entirely true. I got a D+ one semester in my Differential Equations class, but in my defense, I had the second highest grade in the class. The teacher damn near flunked everybody AND I wasn’t even a Math major, I was just taking it because I’m a nerd. To counter that D+, I ALSO managed to get two A+’s and an A in my other classes that semester. Try explaining that shit to your parents in a way that makes any sense.

4) You might not think so, but I got a real taste of diversity training.

People think that being at an HBCU is a lot like being at a white school in terms of just being around a whole bunch of people of the same race. If ever there was a bad assumption. The class divide lives on at HBCU’s. On my dorm hall alone were at least 3 children of millionaires. In fact, I didn’t even know I was poor until I got to college. But here’s the thing, being Black means I already know how to deal with white people in some regard. I mean, if we want to eat, live, and work in America, you have to be able to deal with white people. So that was in the books. I learned how to deal with folks who had money or were well-connected in society, etc.

I’m inclined to believe that white people don’t really get that at these schools. Mostly because they don’t have to. I went to school with some of the most naive, ignorant white people this side of the Mississippi who’s fascination with us ninjas amazed me. It’s easy at a white school to not really deal with any of the Black or minority students, mostly since it seems like everybody cliques up…which is how you get assholes throwing “gangster” parties which turn into parties where folks just mock Black culture. And it usually doesn’t matter since white people run the world anyway.

But slow down. Did you read the lastest story on the American population in TIME? I hate to say it white folks, but the Mexican’s are coming. We (Black and Brown) might not get along that well right now, but at least we have a common foe: white people. You better get used to speaking to Tyrone and Pablo now, because pretty soon we’ll be all over.

5) Homecoming

Yeah, I know every college has homecoming. But nuh uh Jack, not like a Black school. Our shit is like our fraternities and sororitites, they last a lifetime. Homecoming at my big white school kind of sucked ass. Hell, I didn’t even realize it was homecoming until the actual gamedays. At an HBCU??? It’s a weeklong event, and even longer if you count the time it takes to detox and recuperate. I just got back from my homecoming and I’m still not caught up on sleep.

And once again, being as I know more Black people than you, I get to spend a week around a bunch of reading ninjas who will be doing something with their lives at some point…and very rarely does anybody get shot.

Just think about that shit for a minute.

Plus, when was the last time a rapper shouted out a major white school? Howard gets shouted out all the time. That automatically makes it better, even rappers pay attention to HBCU’s. And show up at homecoming.

7) There are some dorms without air conditioning…that are in the Deep South.

If that isn’t a focus on healthy living (you lose weight when you sweat it all out), I don’t know what is.

HBCU’s are usually in or near big enough cities.

The world is your oyster and the city is your backyard. This way you don’t HAVE to just drink yourself to death for entertainment purposes. Nope, you can actually learn some shit and then go party since you won’t be too drunk to read all day. Being in a big city fosters real life education as well. You will more than likely be robbed at least once because you will go out sporting your college paraphanalia…and you deserve to be robbed. It’s a means of humbling people.

And what the world needs now is more humility. Word life.

9) The women are just plain finer at HBCU’s than at other schools.

No, that doesn’t really make for a better education but it does make for a better quality of life…which (aha!) does make for a better education. If you feel better, you’re more inclined to be happier and it’s easier to enjoy subject matter when you’re happy. That is science and cannot be disputed. Word to George Bush. You know that in my classes where women were present, most of us dudes were on our P’s and Q’s. And don’t let it be a fine woman. Good gracious would we be focused. It’s just not a good look to come across stupid in front of a fine woman because even if she’s a cokehead, she’s still fine and you’d probably like to see her naked.

In essence, finer women cause men to step up their game which bodes well later on in life for women so they don’t have to deal with so many loser dudes spitting lines like, “what’s your sign?”

That right there is life education.

And I’ve seen some “fine” women at predominantly white schools. It’s just not the same thing. I almost feel that if you are a Black man with a Black girlfriend, and you went to an HBCU and she didn’t, you cannot bring her to homecoming without having a talk with her first that goes like this:

Dude: Baby, I’m so glad you’re coming with me this year, but I need to let you know that you’re going to see some drop-dead gorgeous women, some of which I know and some of which I wanted to know. I’ll need you to know that if some random woman, or women, come and jump on me that I did not have sexual relations with that woman…I wanted too, but I didn’t.

Chick: Whatever, they can’t be that fine.

Dude: Shiiiiit, you must be smoking. There are some women so fine that Sanaa Lathan would look average. In fact…wait, you do realize that I love you and only want to be with you because if my eyes wander its just because I like their sweaters…

Eh…it might go something like that. Just know, your girl is not ready. Hell, I’m not ready every year and I went to school with fine women.

10) I just know more Black people than you do.

And that just makes me better than you. Which means my education was better than yours. I’m Black, it’s kind of important to know lots of Black people, unless of course you’re Black and afraid of other ninjas in which case you should just go die now. Thanks.