Jackson G. Tickle Enterprises Presents…Panama’s Propositions

First off, I’d like to thank everybody for the great blog topics. Next week I’ll be taking on the various topic suggestions.

Today, though, I came across this personality test so I figured, for people who would like to kill time, you might as well take it and find out your personality type. I know we all do these over and over, but fuck it, do it again.

I am King. Love me.

It’s a really short test and I think it will be fun to send around to the masses of folks you know. I’m going to post my results here and one of the write-ups. Let’s make a challenge out of this:

I’m interested in finding out how many people are extroverts versus introverts. My guess is that most people who actually blog are going to be extroverts but I could be wrong. My results have shown that I’m very much extroverted and would talk to a rock if it would talk back.

Which is true by the way, I’ve had full fledge conversations with inanimate objects…

Anyway, here’s the link to the test: The Jung Typology Test.

And here is the score for the Illustrious Panama Dontavious Jackson, Hero Extraordinaire:

I am an ENFP.

Extroverted: 78%
Intuitive: 50%
Feeling: 25%
Perceiving: 22%

I’m also sexxy, I just wanted to make sure nobody forgot that part.

Being an ENFP, also makes me a Champion Idealist. Yes bitches, I am a champion.

Here is one of the write-ups that appears with the results:

The Champion Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in accomplishing their aims, and informative and extraverted when relating with others. For Champions, nothing occurs which does not have some deep ethical significance, and this, coupled with their uncanny sense of the motivations of others, gives them a talent for seeing life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil. This type is found in only about 3 percent of the general population, but they have great influence because of their extraordinary impact on others. Champions are inclined to go everywhere and look into everything that has to do with the advance of good and the retreat of evil in the world. They can’t bear to miss out on what is going on around them; they must experience, first hand, all the significant social events that affect our lives. And then they are eager to relate the stories they’ve uncovered, hoping to disclose the “truth” of people and issues, and to advocate causes. This strong drive to unveil current events can make them tireless in conversing with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out.

Champions consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life, although they can never quite shake the feeling that a part of themselves is split off, uninvolved in the experience. Thus, while they strive for emotional congruency, they often see themselves in some danger of losing touch with their real feelings, which Champions possess in a wide range and variety. In the same vein, Champions strive toward a kind of spontaneous personal authenticity, and this intention always to “be themselves” is usually communicated nonverbally to others, who find it quite attractive. All too often, however, Champions fall short in their efforts to be authentic, and they tend to heap coals of fire on themselves, berating themselves for the slightest self-conscious role-playing.

As far as I’m concerned, this is pretty damn accurate, except for that good and evil part. I don’t really think about doing evil shit too often…unless you count crime and coming up with ways to improve on crimes or commit the perfect crime, in which case I plead the fifth.

Fif.

Cinqo.

I love my write up and all about how only like 3 percent of the population is similar. Yeah muhfucka…I like being a one and only type cat!!

Ichiban bitches!

So have at it, it’s a short test and its fun to learn more about yourself…and give up the goods. That means results here…extrovert or introvert, and do you agree.

Basically, I’m just trying to find a reason for anybody to actually comment on this post.

Good night and good luck.

Oh, and fuck Nevada for fucking up my NCAA bracket. That is all.

Three times in three days…bitches.

I’m feeling inspired right now. Not sure how long this will last or if this is the leadup to me ultimately saying fuck the world, don’t ask me for shit…because I’ll be late for that. Ishkabibbly doody wop.

The sad part of that entire last sentence is that if I was E-40, that would have been a clear, coherent, cogent, coagulated thought. And probably would have translated to “love is in need of love today.”

Or something.

Now that we’ve got the inane introduction out of the way, let us commence.

A thought came to me yesterday while I was returning from Quizno’s after purchasing a Triple Q combo meal that eye poppingly came out to $9.88. The thought was that niggas are dumb as hell with their criminal game at times.

Non-sequitor? Definitely.

Over the past few days, I’ve been in discussions with various friends of mine at various times about sundry criminal lacktastic skills that many people have. And quite frankly, it’s disturbing. The mere fact that people run their mouths AFTER committing crimes is dumb in and of itself, but its like people want to get caught most of the time anyway. With a little more thought, you too can become a better criminal. Let us delve into how.

Panama Jackson Presents Crime Without Punishment…How To Not Get Caught Up, Dumbass

I’m going to pick a few scenarios to discuss. Some you may have heard before, others you may have never considered, others may cause you to say that Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. You’ve been learndeded.

IAN Game (Ignore A Nigga) Game

This is one of those areas that you’d think would be simple, but for some reason, people are idiots. For instance, which is French for, for instance….say you have some chick/unchick that you are done dealing with. But they call you incessantly. Everybody’s phone has an ignore function. Right? If you hit “ignore” after the phone rings twice, they’ll know you’re ignoring the call. You either have to be quick on the trigger, or just let it ring. Kind of like letting it snow, only not the same at all. Nothing new here.

BUT…

…the dumb nigga syndrome kicks in when you KNOW that the person recognizes it’s you calling so they do what any crazy bitch (this is not gender specific here) would do. What’s that class??

*67 your ass. For those who live in uncivilized parts of the country (world), *67 blocks the outgoing number causing it to show up as either “private caller” or “unknown” on the receiver’s caller ID.

And what do you do?

Answer the gotdamn phone. Who does that? You know you’re ex is nuts…its the reason for their ex status. You know they will call you with a blocked number because they’ve done it before. Yet you answer…EVERYTIME. RIGHT after they just tried to call you and got ignored. To properly ignore a nigga, you must do exactly that, IGNORE A NIGGA.

Dumb ass.

Robbery

Humans are dumb. We want credit for everything. Which is why people will talk about the crimes they have committed. Dumb. There are 2 Simple Rules for Robbing A White Teenager or A Home (banks require more people).

1. Do it by yourself.

2. Shut the fuck up about it.

Somehow, nobody EVER follows those two rules. Niggas always want to commit crimes with their criminal friends. This is a bad idea. Do you know why it’s a bad idea? Because you can’t really trust criminals. Unless they are wealthy criminals who are doing it for sport…and usually white and run Fortune 500 companies or countries on their off weekends. Other than that, niggas will sing like Whitney if cornered and their freedom is at stake. We’d all like to believe there is honor amongst thieves…me…me no believey. There is a reason economists, and more specifically Game Theorists start off every discussion with the “Prisoner’s Dilemma”. This is the notion that if you have catch two criminals, separate them, there are 4 logical outcomes. Both will be silent, both will squeal, or one will tell and the other won’t, and vice versa. Likelihood that nobody will talk…very very low.

You’re already a criminal, why trust them? Save yourself right? You see, if you do your dirt by your lonely, you only have yourself to concern yourself with…as long as you also shut the fuck up.

Why this eludes so many people is beyond me.

Bank Robbery

Why ANYBODY would attempt this in today’s day and age of ridiculous surveillance and dye-packed money balls, etc. is beyond me.

If you must, I have no clue how to do this properly.

Little Known Panama Fact: When I was in 9th grade, a bunch of my homeboy’s were aspiring rappers, criminals, etc. Well these dummies ACTUALLY approached me (since I was the “smart” one) about drawing up plans for them to rob a local bank. I was informed that two of them said they wouldn’t go thru with it unless I was the architect. Must have been what Christopher Williams felt like in New Jack City. They never did rob that bank. About three years ago, one of these fellows DID however bungle a gas station robbery and is currently serving jail time.

Drug Dealing

I plead the 5th on this one. However, I do have some advice for aspiring drug dealers out there. If, and that’s a big if, you do manage to make some actual money doing this…don’t be so gotdamned visible. Real killers move in silence nigga. Buying cars galore while you live in the hood is not a good look. At all. Who WOULDN’T notice that? Police included. Of course, you will have to have a crew, which means that chances of having a squealer in your camp increases. Basically, you will go to jail or die eventually…but while you’re alive, the least you can do is find lucrative ways to…

Launder Money

Open a barber shop, or some business where money exchanges hands quickly and is largely cash based. When I saw Rush Hour 2 for the first time, I thought the billionaire who laundered his money through a casino was brilliant. I was actually proud of him for that.

You probably don’t have the money to do that. Landscaping is a good venture as well. Who doesn’t need their lawns manicured? The bottom line here is that you must find some way to get that money out of your hands into some venture where the money can be accounted for…quickly. As a smart criminal, this would be done. OR…move the money into offshore accounts…quickly.

And not by two Benzes. That is not money laundering. That is wearing the money. And you just might end up strip searched.

Prostitution

Just don’t do it.

There is never a good way to become a ho.

I think that is all for today. I charge you aspiring criminals, no matter how large or small the crime, to be smarter at your criminal endeavors…it is imperative.

Thank you and goodnight.

Every now and then I read very depressing news. For instance, I found out yesterday that UPN and the WB are going to merge into the CW Network sometime this year. Save for the casts of “Everybody Hates Chris” and “Girlfriends”, quite a few more black actors/actresses are going to be unemployed. And despite the shows sucking, they were still black shows on air. Sometimes the news involves world catastrophes, other times it involves civil rights or humanitarian efforts that seem to align with Langston Hughes famous poem, “A Dream Deferred.”

And then…there’s shit like this:

Study: College students lack literacy for complex tasks

*You don’t actually have to click to that link since I’ll be pulling out highlights of the article since any of you college students/graduates out there might not know how to click on the link*

“More than half of students at four-year colleges — and at least 75 percent at two-year colleges — lack the literacy to handle complex, real-life tasks such as understanding credit card offers, a study found.”

[***DISCLAIMER: What will follow will be very insensitive comments about college students/graduates (of which I'm a member...I'm also a member of the Safeway Select Grocery Store Discount Club). You've been informed and bewared. ***]

In the immortal words of Florence Evan’s signifying the point where Good Times went to total shit or more popularly known as the moment when Flo and family found out James died of a contract dispute, I mean, an accident in Mississippi (or somewhere down South)…

…damn, damn, damn.

What in the hell are people learning in college?

The worst and most disturbing part of the whole article is that it doesn’t surprise me. I can’t tell you how many actual college graduates I know who don’t seem equipped to handle the simple tasks in life. And for the college students who don’t understand that last statement, let me simplify it.

College students isn’t all smart.

[***DISCLAIMER# 2: I'm aware that many people who come here are indeed college students or college graduates. If you have trouble reading or analyzing anything on this site, it's okay, apparently you aren't alone. However, I'm a saddened by this news and I hope to never work for or near you in life. You will make me dumber. Go count something. ***]

“The literacy study funded by the Pew Charitable Trusts, the first to target the skills of graduating students, finds that students fail to lock in key skills — no matter their field of study….

Without “proficient” skills, or those needed to perform more complex tasks, students fall behind. They cannot interpret a table about exercise and blood pressure, understand the arguments of newspaper editorials, compare credit card offers with different interest rates and annual fees or summarize results of a survey about parental involvement in school.”

Let us analyze this a little bit. I’ve often looked at credit card applications, and quite frankly it can be very confusing. Sometimes I think its intentionally confusing. However, after actually reading an application I have an understanding of the different options, penalties, etc. You see, the key component is reading.

You know what, let’s cut the smart shit, this is a gotdamn shame. Let’s get to what this really means, mmkay?

“Most students at community colleges and four-year schools showed intermediate skills. That means they can do moderately challenging tasks, such as identifying a location on a map.”

I went to college…two of them in fact, and one of the things I learned while in college is to become more analytical. I’ve had plenty of conversations with my friends where I concluded that I didn’t learn so much in college, but moreso expanded on what I already knew (in the simplest forms) and acquired an ability to understand HOW to learn. Of course, that shit goes completely out of the window when I include my calculus classes or that lovely Mechanics (Physics) class I took the summer before my Freshman year where I cranked out a big D+ AND took the entire final by flipping a quarter to determine my responses.

When I dropped my quarter between some seats, I turned my test in. The quarter said I was done.

In my defense, the laughs of my peers killed some of the nervous tension in the air. I took one for the team. Ironically, I think I might have done as well if not better than more than half the class.

But I digress.

The fact that identifying a location on a map is considered an intermediate skill is troubling enough by itself, but the notion that college graduates are mostly adept at completing such a low intuition task, and potentially not further than that speaks volumes about education in this country.

Hell, I’m amazed college graduates can even read…and we know for a fact that some can’t. I guess this makes that whole idea of a dumb jock a little less funny, doesn’t it?

Dumb asses=universal, all inclusive term.

I don’t know if this was comedically placed or not, but this little paragraph damn near slayed me:

“There was brighter news.

Overall, the average literacy of college students is significantly higher than that of adults across the nation. Study leaders said that was encouraging but not surprising, given that the spectrum of adults includes those with much less education.”

The cliche, “no shit” comes to mind.

So we have to find silver linings in the fact that college students are able to READ better than most adults in a nation that has created policies to kick up the literacy level of EVERYBODY, not just children because it would seem that people can’t seem to…read. Even R. Kelly is admittedly a functional illiterate.

Functional illiteracy is like the new “passing”. Folks get by on other people’s assumption that they can read when in truth, even college students aren’t adept at anything past reading words on a page. Dammit, I used a college word again. Let me try to rewrite that sentence…

College students see words.

“The survey examined college students nearing the end of their degree programs.

Almost 20 percent of students pursuing four-year degrees had only basic quantitative skills. For example, the students could not estimate if their car had enough gas to get to the service station. About 30 percent of two-year students had only basic math skills.”

Understandbly, math was the Achille’s heel for most people since generally, people suck ass at math. However, the fact that as many 20 percent of students may not be able to estimate if they had enough gas to get to the station is troubling, ESPECIALLY given that cars come with little lights nowadays that say, “Dumbass, go to the gas station.” I’m one of the people who will test my car to see how far I can go while the light is lit and the car is on E. However, I’m fully aware of what I’m doing…and further, doing it intentionally, knowing that my car might run out of gas on me.

Apparently, my thinking is not shared by a sizable percentage of college students. This is again…a damn shame. This didn’t say “able to calculate using the quadratic formula.” No, it says basic math skills which I can only assume means using fractions and moving a decimal a few places. For the college graduates out there, a fraction is the two numbers that have a line between them.

I’m aware that this study was done with a sample of nearly 2,000 when the population of graduating students at large probably numbers in the hundreds of thousands (I could be very optimistic in that assumption), however, there is some truth in these numbers. I’m often surprised when I come across college graduates who seem to be intuitively challenged and apparently I’m wrong for that.

I apologize.

You can’t read (or count or determine a tip for a waiter or determine a pun in a sentence or are able to analyze a sentence or point out a predicate or, well you get the picture). And it’s okay…

…apparently it’s the American way.

I’ve made many distinctions in my day, call me an elitist, feel free (it’s been done before), about people who seem to know shit versus people who are smart. And believe you me, there is a difference. This study just furthers that idea since I assume that to make it thru 4 years you have to at least know something…that does not mean however, that you are smart. It also lends validation to the common saying…

…some of the dumbest people we all know, are indeed, in college.