I Add A Motherf****r So You Ignant Ni**as Hear ME
That Lauryn Hill, what a prophet.
Today’s post is being brought to you by the good people of Jackson G. Tickle Enterprises and the letter W.
Followed by the letter T. And not so far behind, the letter F.
Put it together class and what do you get?? WTF.
As in the what the fuck was Fantasia thinking when she wrote some of the shit that is on her newest album, the self-titled Fantasia?
Despite that question, I find myself feeling warmed by her album.
Do you know why I appreciate artists like Fantasia (and similarly people like Jagged Edge or Mary J. Blige, during the Great Crackskapades of the early to mid 90s)? I love them because they do not run away from their inner-ghetto. You see, so many of us el Negroes try to hide from the fact that we do indeed possess ghetto bones.
I have some. Do you? It’s okay. In fact, anybody with ghetto bones, please, with a show of hands…show yourself!
*hands a-waving*
Ahh…the smell of truth.
Being the ghetto queen that Fantasia apparently is (down to the inordinate education), she has decided that she was going to make an album for her people. What people would that be? The same people who actually found her song “B.A.B.Y.M.A.M.A.” to be a rallying cry and an endearing, honorable tribute to the single, un-wed mother.
Not that there is anything wrong with being a single, un-wed mother. Then again, there is a hell of a difference between being a babymama and a single mother. Color me ignorant, but it seems that Fantasia made it okay (once again, to her fans) to aspire to be a baby mama whereas a single mother would usually rather not be in that situation. But once again, color me ignorant.
And then color me bad. Ohhh…beeeeeeeehave.
On her newest magnum opus, Fantasia has a song entitled “Uneligible”.
I’d like to take a quick smokebreak, so please re-read that last sentence as many times as you need.
*smokebreak*
If you’re anything like me, you probably looked at that word a few times before calmly asking yourself, “is that a word?”
Then, I briskly walked to my dictionary to check. Nope…in fact, I’m about to go look at my office dictionary right now.
Hold, please.
*holding*
Nope, not in my office dictionary. It goes from unedited to unemotional. But you know what I did find?
Ineligible.
A one letter variance, but a signficant one nonetheless. Which begs the question…two questions actually: why not just use the word ineligible?; and why doesn’t she have any friends who tell her better?
Oh, she answers that on the album’s last song, “Bump What Ya Friends Say”.
Well, okay then.
You’ve really got to love songs like that don’t you? The song “Uneligible” is about the good men who all seem to be “uneligible.” Ooh, ooh, I have a question!!!
Since she refers to her men as uneligible, does that actually make them uneligible? Perhaps there is some subtle distinction between ineligible and uneligible…perhaps her men just ain’t available (hence, uneligible) whereas ineligible men are just not qualified!!!
Perhaps Fantasia is the smart one. She’s done gone and created a new word, probably by accident since I don’t actually respect her mind. Sad, I know.
But until she can read one of my posts I stand by my statement.
Ouch.
What I do appreciate about her new album is that she really holds nothing back. For instance, here are some of the song titles: “I Nominate U” (c’mon, don’t we all really want to be nominated for something??), “Baby Makin’ Hips” (you laugh, but I love me a woman with baby makin’ hips), “Two Weeks Notice” (not sure how this really applies to her people since most of them are probably fans of being babymamas and probably work at places that a two week notice probably ain’t all that necessary, let alone a two minute notice).
Ouch again.
I’m mean.
Then there’s that guaranteed hot shit, “Bore Me (Yawn)”. I actually have to give Fantasia a lot of credit here. People often give you song titles, but when was the last time people gave you the intransitive verb to go with their song title?
Did Babyface? How much better is this song title: “Every Time I Close My Eyes (Blink)”?
Or “There She Goes (Point)”?
Clearly, he’s not as forward thinking as Fantasia.
And the entire album makes sense because her first single is “Hood Boy”, a sort of double entendre since clearly she needs a hood boy, and it’s also apparently who she mad the album for, the “hood, boy”.
Deep. Perhaps I do respect her mind. A broke clock may be right only twice a day, but when it’s right, it’s right.
Mind you, a lot of this stuff is actually pretty good, music-wise, and she can sing despite the fact that I pretty much don’t like her voice at all. What’s really funny is that for every person I’ve mentioned that she has as song called “Uneligible”, every body thinks its okay because Fantasia apparently isn’t the scholar we all pray for.
And she can’t read, though I’m inclined to believe that she’s probably made headway in that deparment since her admission. Which if I’m not mistaken was during the “writing” of her book. Dictaphone never had it so good!
All in all, I appreciate Fantasia for what she brings to the table. Unapologetic ignorance. She exists to make me realize that people like us do have a place in the world. For me, it’s at the table with lawmakers and hookers, for her it’s at the library, but there is a place nonetheless.
Irregardless of what we may all think, Fantasia is finna do things her way. And through her, we are all connectededed.
She is us and we are her.
Thank you Fantasia for keeping it real and damn you to Hell for causing a whole new generation of little ninjas who will undoubtedly think that the word “uneligible” is actually real and okay since it’s a song that I think women who can’t find a good man will be drawn towards.
Thank you Fantasia, for not crossing over but bringing the suburbs to the ‘hood.
December 12th, 2006 13:55
I like the sound of Hood Boy. But the words make my throat itch. As for Uneligible, there were probably many people sitting around a table who decided her core audience couldn’t read anyway so why should they correct that word.
December 12th, 2006 15:47
>>>But until she can read one of my posts I stand by my statement.
>>>”Two Weeks Notice” (not sure how this really applies to her people since most of them are probably fans of being babymamas and probably work at places that a two week notice probably ain’t all that necessary, let alone a two minute notice).’
You. Ain’t. Right. !!!!
Uneligble reminds me of Bobby Brown’s “My Perogative.”
December 12th, 2006 16:31
I kepy seeing Uneligable, and saying Ineligbable out load…that was phuckin with me, yo!
December 12th, 2006 16:44
this ENTIRE post has ME rolling! You are hilarious. Maybe *I’m reaching with this one*…um she felt that BEY put a new word in Webster’s, it was her chance to do so?
anyone?
no?
hmk.
I tried Tasia gurrrrrrrrrl
December 12th, 2006 16:49
Thank you Fantasia, for not crossing over but bringing the suburbs to the ‘hood.
December 12th, 2006 17:00
I almost got fired for how loud I was laughin while readin this…Pananma u’s a wyld dude man.
Keep it up
December 12th, 2006 17:11
@Hostess: You know, you’re probably absolutely right. And that might be the funniest shit ever.
@Liz: I’m isn’t right, you’se right. I’s okay with that doe.
@Donna: Seems like you got caught with the Fantasia spelling disease yourself!! Jokes jokes.
@BPD: Glad to have you laughing. Where the F*** have you been?!?!?
@Diggy Doc: It’s why I appreciate her.
@Esquire: I’ll do my best (trying).
December 12th, 2006 23:16
great post. even if you did join the fantasia “make up a word” club in the process. irregardless of what some may think, “irregardless” is not a word.
December 13th, 2006 02:54
Uneligible… that was one of those moments where i was like “wait a second… all this manure there’s gotta be a pony!”
December 13th, 2006 08:44
“Irregardless of what we may all think, Fantasia is finna do things her way. And through her, we are all connectededed.”
finna and connectededed are also not words, methinks Panama was making an intentional funny. get your humor game up.
also, though as much as it pains me to hear it, “irregardless” is indeed a word. get your dictionary game up.
http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/irregardless
[Boom Boom for President]
December 13th, 2006 14:27
@Anonymous: “Regardless” to the fact that Jenny Boom Boom has proven that it indeed is a word, I would be willing to bet money that Panama used “irregardless” to see if people such as yourself would actually leave the comment that you did. You were very perceptive on the word but not as perceptive to the fact that he used it intentionally…
December 13th, 2006 22:07
@jenny & maverick:
touche
December 14th, 2006 15:57
This entire post had me rolling! ‘Tasia knows she is ghetto so I guess she figured why not just go ahead and be who she really is?
I remember after I had just had my child ( yes, out of wedlock) and several of my cousins had just had children too (also out of wedlock) and one of my older cousins was putting on a play in church. This woman wanted me and my other cousins to get up and sing that BabyMama song like it was the greatest badge of honor in the world. I couldn’t believe it.
I want my daughter to do as I say, not as I did.
December 14th, 2006 23:47
“Unapologetic Ignorance”
I love it!! That’s the best kind, LOL…
this was funny.
December 15th, 2006 10:13
Panama, when the score first came out, and I heard that song, I didn’t understand what she mean. How can ignorant people hear her better if she adds a mothaf*&$a? But now it makes perfect sense.
December 15th, 2006 13:02
Too Funny!!
December 15th, 2006 17:43
I thought you were making this all up. I actually had to go online to the cd. And I’ll be damned, there it was!! ‘Uneligible’
December 17th, 2006 20:54
I’ve only heard two songs off the cd, and though I’m not a Fantasia fan, I will (begrudgingly) admit that I like both of them. Hood Boy is catchy. It’s the music that has me more than the lyrics, though the lyrics do crack me up:
“Go’on head pretty
We don’t like them there
Need somethin’ realer”
And I just like “When I See U”. I just do.
However, Uneligible is simply Unacceptable. Of course I am the same person who cringes everytime I sing Fergalicious and am forced to misspell “tasty”:
T to the A to the S T E Y, girl you tasty
Who the hell let them add an E to the word “tasty”?!?!
And still I sing along to that catchy song every time I hear it.
Pop music: making us more ignorant by the verse.
December 18th, 2006 09:44
This new layout is pudy and rather adult. Love it. And you know I live the color!!
February 6th, 2007 18:57
Since your arse don’ left the building and I can’t get no new reads for a minute, I’m re-reading ish at home, since I can laugh loud and nobody looks at me funny. This post had to be one of the all-time greats. Too damn funny!!!