Question For The People
Me and one of mi compadres are working on a project intended to educate, facilitate, and aid in procreate (-tion). And no it’s not a How To Have Safe Sex When All You Have Are Lifestyle Condoms seminar. It’s a project that just might open the flood gates for discussion amongst the sexes. Gender roles are turned on their ear and stereotypes are accepted as fact.
Thing is, in this little booky book, we’ve tackled some issues that were close to our hearts. Clearly we can’t tackle everything. But it got me to thinking recently (actually just like 10 minutes ago), women have so many questions for men, from why do we cheat to why come we don’t be e’en known how to ack rite, etc…but how often do men have questions for women?? When it comes to relationships, quite often women have more questions than a mothertrucker when it comes time to discuss shit whereas us menfolks tend to be more observers and listeners and answerers and debaters. We debate what was said without usually bringing much new shit to the table.
Hell, the most common question males probably ask females is: what the hell is wrong with you all?
It’s a valid question.
But I’ve come to realize, through life experience, that I have other questions. And I’d very much like it if I could get some help. I’m going to lay one major question out there and see what happens from there, mostly because I’d like to know. So let’s get to it.
There’s a notion amongst the womanly community that men know when we fuck up. We’re very clear when we’re in the wrong. Usually, when doing dirt, a man will try to slyly make up for it by overcompensating in some area he normally wouldn’t, causing suspicion and ultimately leading to his be-heading because women are indeed not dumb.
Crazy, but not dumb.
But this begs the question: when a woman fucks up, does she know it? As in, are women adept at realizing when they just might have pushed a motherfucker too far? Say he doesn’t try to stab you with a fork, or he doesn’t emotionally show that he’s been trampled on like a herd of wild Buffalo running over some cowboys in 1891…
If he never outwardly says, “I’m over this shit, you obviously don’t give a shit about me so fuck you and the horse you rode in on…”, do women know that they just might have done irreparable damage?
I don’t even want to get into whether or not the average women would care or not.
Basically, how much do women pay attention to fucking up relationships? Men apparently do it all the time, but women never get any credit for fucking shit up either. Do women assume that because the man has shown over time that he can’t let go that no damage has been done?
This is just something I’ve been thinking about lately. Does it stem from anything? Of course it does. Experience is the best teacher, but the experience just may not have been mine.
Cryptic much? You bet yer ass.
Oh and a special fuck you out to everybody for NOT telling me that motherfucking Akeelah and The Bee is a STARBUCKS ENTERTAINMENT production. Yes, quite much, fuck everybody who’s seen it and didn’t tell me causing me to spend 20 dollars of my hard earned money on a movie that the evil powers that be have brought to the Black community, the same community that they’re gonna be shipping our movie-watching asses out of soon…down with Starbucks.
So yes, fuck you very much.
December 6th, 2006 15:40
Women screw up too and we know it. We know that we aren‚Äôt infallible. I‚Äôm just writing this from a female [specifically, me] point of view. All this can be applied to either gender. Okay? Okay.) I will say, though, every time I‚Äôve screwed up, I knew what I did wrong and I tried and correct it. I can tell things are bad because of ME, and I have that innate, girly, something ain’t right vibe I get.
I should mention, that there has been a time when I‚Äôd screw up wishing the guy would just go away though, I disregard any real guilt/emotion about it because I figured that things would continue to unravel. I am not proud to admit that I have acted a total bitch, in hopes that the guy end up leaving me, but we know when we are using this method where he had no other option but to go and try to find another girlfriend. That indeed is a sucky thing to do, but when you know that it’s time to pull the plug, and the guy doesn’t see that things have flatlined - you have to help things along a bit.
umm, yea chicks suck sometimes. *sigh*
December 7th, 2006 04:48
I’ve screwed up before… if i’ve got him tight around my finger i usually could care less about what i’ve done cause i know dude will stay. i only act up though if i know i can or if i want out. and that’s being honest.
December 7th, 2006 13:50
My comment is that it is usually difficult for us women to identify when we have screwed up and to correct it/ smooth over it in a timely manner BECAUSE the guy(s) will inevitably do something stupid soon after we eff up (quite possibly in response). And this shifts the balance such that we forget/ blow off our need to apologize and make ammends. Basically, we dont have the time to make it up before something of more importance goes down that we “feel the need” to deal with.
December 7th, 2006 15:19
Earlier, I has a comment and I think the innanets ate it. But in short, yeah we know. And if we give a damn, we spring into action to try to correct the wrong. Whereas men seem to be more likely to stand there like a deer in the headlights when they do something wrong hoping that it will all just pass without them doing anything to fix the issue. then again, maybe they do that because they just don’t care.
December 8th, 2006 10:12
I use to screw up alot, and go “and WHAT”? That came from years of being with a joker who did the same. Since I didn’t like how that mess felt, I just stopped doing it, so I wouldn’t have to act out of character trying to make up for it. Righting a wrong and learning how to perfect a lie took up too much energy.
December 17th, 2006 12:58
Well, I can say that sometimes I do know and sometimes I dont. I know when Ive done something truly, TRULY fucked up; that shits so obvious that I cant even lie to myself.
But oftimes, I find myself in situations like Im in now: I have no clue. I know there are two people in a relationship, so both play a part in maintaining it. But a few weeks ago, dude started that classic “fading away” you menfolks are so fond of. We finally ended it, but I can honestly say I dont know what I could have done differently. To be honest, Id really like more input from him - what and if I did anything jacked up. But in my experience, in situations like this, they never tell you, so you never really know. Id like to know, so that I can work on myself.
I like your blog, so Ill keep reading!