Jackson G. Tickle Enterprises Presents…Panama’s Propositions

Welcome to what once was tomorrow, but after today, shall be forever known as yesterday.

It’s also the day we unveil the women that you, yes you, the people, have chosen to face off in the Final Four as we are just two duels away from crowning our Miss Banginest Beauty of 2006.

Word to Aaron Burr.

Today, both here at Jackson G. Tickle Enterprises and at The Royal Youngs, we pit two brownskinned beauties against one another in hopes of securing a future for little Black boys and girls everywhere. We take a woman who’s name rhymes with fiancee and a woman whose name rhymes with Sabrielle and place them on 1 Front Street and watch them duke it out.

They need your help America. It’s Decision 2006. And the choice is yours.

[Whoever says we don't believe in education and current events at Jackson G. Tickle Enterprises is just looney.]

You can get with this, or you can get with that, says Beyonce.

Fuck all you bitch ass niggas, says Gabrielle.

As you can see, they’re raring to go!

So without further ado, I bring to you the winner of the Janet Jackson Bracket:

(1) Beyonce Knowles [who beat the breaks off of Sanaa Lathan in the Elite 8]

Beyonce is clearly one of the baddest chicks alive. Point blank. Period. Truth be told I’m amazed she’s made it this far given the amount of hate that comes Beyonce’s way at every turn. Hell, she can’t even smile without somebody calling her a dimbulb, myself included. For some reason, when folks reach a certain plateau when it seems like they’ve jumped the shark (as the very term itself has done), folks go out of their way to say how much they suck. Granted, she ain’t exactly writing songs that people will be singing 100 years from now, but her last album was actually pretty good. In fact, she hasn’t made any gawdawful music and get this…she can actually sing.

And by the way, what does that have to do with her actual looks? Methinks nothing.

Basically I’m just saying that this chick is fine and very much deserving of being here right now. So to all of the haters who took a backseat to common sense this go ’round, thank you. Apparently since Jim Jones is busy with an actual career in music right now due to his fucktastic, but syphillis ass song, “We Fly High” he didn’t rally his hater troops so Beyonce made it. But I have every faith in the world that you all will show back up and do what’s in your heart.

The wrong thing.

And all was right with the world.

Speaking of…

And welcome to the Nia Long Bracket!!!

(7) Gabrielle Union [who barely edged out Zoe Saldana in the Elite 8]

I can’t front, I like Gabrielle Union. A whole lot even. She’s hot in her own girl-next-door kind of way. I’d totally date her. She’s not all over the place and like I said she’s interchangeable with Sanaa Lathan. She seems nice-sweet, even. And it is for that reason I think she’ll end up taking Beyonce out. I think it will be close but it will be a victory nonetheless.

Strangely, despite her B- Level celebrity status, I feel like I could approach Gabrielle Union out in public. I don’t know why that is either. Perhaps its the fact that I know for a fact I’ve seen women finer than her. I don’t know, but something about her seems approachable and that probably gives her a leg up. She also doesn’t seem as if she’d look at you like you chucked a roasted squirrel at her if you asked her where Nebraska was on a map. Mostly because she’s from there.

Whereas certain other A-list celebrities seem as if nobody’s home on nearly a daily occasion. Though, SWSNBN (Fresh, C+D, 2006) did give one helluva an interview to Sway from MTV a few months back. Her head game has gotten way better. And yes, the pun was intended.

All in all, this is an interesting pairing since these two are damn near polar opposites. It is my belief that this vote will bring out folks preferences because you really can take one or the other for strictly personal reasons that have very little to do with who is really finer. Me, I like darker chicks so I might take Gabrielle off the strength of her skintone…then again, I’m a racist. So don’t listen to me.

Panama’s Pick: Beyonce
Panama’s Prediction: Gabrielle Union
The Champ’s Pick: Beyonce
The Champ’s Prediction: Gabrielle Union

And I’m going to make my calls for the championship right now-Panama says it will be Gabrielle Union versus Stacey Dash, with Stacey Dash taking the whole thing!

Then again, the last time I thought I had this right, I was proven wrong. Which is why I just stay sexxy and call it a day. You know the drill, place your votes in the comments, go to The Royal Youngs to vote on his site in the Kenya Moore vs. Halle Berry Bracket…

…then tune in Monday as we determine once and for all, and in November, who is 2006′s Baddest Brownskinned Beauty.

Vote or die, bitches. Vote or die.

Sidenote: I actually wrote this entire entry listening to Beyonce’s B’Day album. It was written.

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