Jackson G. Tickle Enterprises Presents…Panama’s Propositions

It’s Friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiday!!

For anybody living in the Washington, DC area, waking up on Friday’s just to hear that on the WPGC radio station is a good thing.

But we’ll do you one better than that. We’re bringing it back live and direct from right in front of your set to:

October Madness 2006

Can we please have a muthafuckin’ moment of silence for this small chronic break?

*moment of silence observed*

What started out as a dream, from back when I used to read Word Up! magazines back when Salt ‘N Pepa and Heavy D would be in limousines, has morphed into tremendous cream. In fact, fuck a doller and a dream. It’s sad to think about it but the truth must set us free. For it is we the people who do what must be done. Not me, but we. I can’t control it…oh girl, I can’t control it.

Seriously, when was the last time you saw somebody actually quote Ralph Tresvant lyrics in a blog post??

Hell, how many of you can actually point out the Ralph Tresvant lines I just used?

Long live New Edition! Hey, did you guys hear that Eddie Murphy is cheating on Johnny Gill with fuckin’ Tracey Edmonds, ya know, Babyface’s ex?

On to the tournament. The Champ and I are ready to bring you the last step on our way to the Final Four which would bring us one step away from our championship matchup. Amazingly, it seems that all of our number 1 seeds are still in the running here. Do you know what that means? It means that despite all the bitching and moaning that occurred, we apparently did a good damn job.

Yo, Champ…good job.

Do any of you know that myself and The Champ have never actually even spoken to one another outside of the Internet before?

Do you know that I’m so good at linking myself in my own posts that I scare me sometimes. Bitches.

Oh yeah, one last sidenote. Kanye is fast becoming my favorite rapper. And The Game’s album is crazy son…mad crazy.

I present to you…

THE NIA LONG BRACKET

What I won’t do (do for love) to be that pool table.

(1) Zoe Saldana (who beat Paula Patton 16-11) vs. (7) Gabrielle Union (who beat Tyra Banks 16-11)

Interestingly, despite her often debated #1 seeding, I didn’t actually expect her to make it this far. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a 1 seed in my book, but given the hate mail I received on this ranking alone, I’m just surprised. I mean, freakin’ Manual Noriega emailed me from his Florida prison cell talking about “what the fuck were we thinking?”

You know Noriega…the real Noriega…but he doesn’t owe me any favors.

Something about Zoe stands out to me and it’s clearly not her obvious A cup breasts. Or her lack-a-ass. Even without that, she’s just exceedingly gorgeous to me. Plus, she has a certain quality that makes me want to actually get to know her in person. Like she has some strange beauty about her that makes her seem like a nice person. Now, she could be a total bitch, but her movies make me feel otherwise and what can I say, I’m impressionable. Hell, how do you think I ended up with a crush on Christina Milian, it’s not like her voice did it.

Though I would like to throw both of them in a vat of black paint and spin them around like the Twister thing. Or perhaps play Duck Hunt under the stars. Hmm, do you all realize how long ago LL Cool J wrote “Around The Way” girl? I think this is what the lyrics would look like today:

I need a girl with Playstation 3 controllers/Fendi bag hag that don’t go out the house in rollers
shoe game is vicious, never rockin’ Manonos/everytime she see a man that ain’t me she says…

BALLLLLLLLLLLLLINNNNN!!!

I’m stupid. Lucky for me I get to wake up as myself every morning.

*shining and pristine and shit*

So I have a question. When was the last time anybody actually had a deviant thought about Gabrielle Union?

*patiently waiting for a track to explode on*

I’m not trying to sway any votes, Playboy (word to Harold Ford), but more asking an honest question because I want to know. Do lesbians covet her? Gabrielle has that fine girl next door quality that works so well when you realize that the “dimes” of the world really can pull athletes. Speaking of dimes, me and my boy, The Most Shady, were in the mall in Atlanta last weekend when we saw this woman with the most rotund derriere in history. It was perfect. So of course, we followed it. Mind you, we didn’t actually see her face. But when we did…good got damn. If she wasn’t the definition of a dime I don’t know what is. The only thing I could think to say was, “she’s dating a Falcon.”

Anywho, given her low seeding I’m surprised to see her here as well, then again, I suppose she’s like Sanaa Lathan. One of their asses (kind of sorta fine but not really for real for real) was going to make it. My boy thinks Gabrielle is going to the Final Four. I know I’ve said it before, but I really do think that Gabrielle Union and Sanaa Lathan are interchangeable at this point. They’re like Mekhi and Omar Epps. Same niggas, different haircut.

In fact, truthfully, A Pimp Named Slickback is the only distinguishable Black male actor. Oh, that would be Terrence Howard. Ladies, how much does it hurt to know that he’s really lame in real life? You can tell me…then you can cry on my shoulder.

He’s bringin’ light-skinned back. Or not.

Panama’s Pick: Zoe (I love her in every conceivable way and if given the chance, I’d like to propose to her)
Panama’s Prediction: This is hard, but I’m gonna say that Zoe takes it
The Champ’s Pick: Zoe
The Champ’s Prediction: Zoe

Since myself and The Champ are in total agreement, either we’re really smart or you guys are full of shit. Haha, how ya like me now!

[EDIT (930AM, Nov 3, 2006): Apparently The Champ and I aren't very smart. If voting thus far is any indication, it would seem that Zoe is finna get blown straight out the water.]

Kool Moe Dee beeyotch.

Once you get finished voting over here, take ya black (or brown or white) ass over to The Champ’s site and vote in the Halle Berry Bracket. Halle means so much to me individually. Between her and Puffy, they’re living proof that it doesn’t take talent to make it.

You just need drive. Hmm, do you realize that both of them niggas had felonies involving cars. She had her little hit and run and Puffy took off from the club with guns in his car after he shot a chick and then framed Shyne for it???

Uncanny.

Ocrober Madness Elite 8…we’re winding down people and yes we know its November. And next month is December and KWANZAA!!!

I’m so excited.

Remember, it’s not a game, its a tournament.

So go vote already!

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