Uh…yeah.

So quite a few of of you were expecting to come here today and see lots of pictures of rather randy-causing womenses.

And they’re coming. Definitely coming.

There was just a slight snafu at Jackson G. Tickle Enterprises and The Royal Youngs, Inc. ( In fact, please head over to The Champs site for some interesting questions about this year’s tournament.)

And I could give you the long explanation of what happened…however, I think I’ve decided to invoke the SRA of 2006.

And what is the SRA of 2006?

It is the Stereotype Reflection Act of 2006. It is the annually passed bill that states that when in need, one may revert to acting out the stereotypes usually associated with one’s rate. Remember, it’s when convenient.

The stereotype being invoked today?? Lateness.

Yes, ninjas being late is a stereotype of much fame.

Now with that said, let me just prepare you all for what is to come. Myself and The Champ have compiled a list of buxom, robust, tantalizing, ooooh-hurt-me, belles of the ball for us to judge strictly on their aesthetic appeal. Yes, ladies and gentlemen…

…this is a tournament that gets to the core of men. None of that personality or dim-bulb non-sense has any place here. I don’t care if Beyonce can’t spell her name. I don’t care if Halle Berry runs people over in broad daylight…AND THEN leaves the scene of the crime. Is she still fine?

If the answer is Hell yeah…then her ability to speak is unimportant.

You see, October Madness is apart of all of us. It is what makes us human. It gets at our core indulgence in things that are shiny and pretty. I like shiny and pretty things. I also like tig ole bitties.

Speaking of Tig Ole Bitties, I heard that Martin is finally coming to DVD in January. Finally.

When we kick this here tournament off, we will bring it. Last year was the inaugural year of October Madness (which is really funny considering it goes well into November…d’oh well), and it was such a resounding success that we just had to bring it back. And we promise not to disappoint. You see, we believe that the children are our future…and that if we teach them well, and let them lead the way…that…

…they will be able to recognize the beauty and splendor (and rumpshakertasticness) that is Kenya Moore.

And by jove, you all did! Yes, The Champ was despondent and downright persnickety that Esther Baxter was eliminated last year…it took the wind right out of his sails…but we realize that above all…we have to keep doing this for every ignorant bastard who ever had an idea that managed to bring out the best of times and the worst of times…

…except here we have no worst of times. Just women. Lots of women. Women who want to win. True, they don’t know they want to win but rest assured, they want to win.

So tomorrow, when we (finally) kick the tournament off, be prepared for muchos grandos fun, entertainment, and downright exploitation. But also be ready to be human, for that’s all we can ask for. It is all that we are.

You and me.

Him and her.

I mean, what would ignorance be without J-G-T. Are you ready when Kingdom Comes?

And because it will inevitabley come to fruition at some point during this tournament in the form of emails, strange IM conversations and lewd late night phone calls of the unflattering kind…

“…what they doin’ hatin’ on us but they never cross….JGT still the company and Panama is the Boss…”

For all the haters, please send all hate mail to: kissourass@stuntinlikemydaddy.com.

And on a completely unreleated sidenote, I’m an avid watcher of the The Wire. Omar is in jail right now…

…which, you know, according to some is a Black gay man’s haven…either that or Morehouse (kiss my ass!)…

…but I’m SO afraid that Omar might die. Like, do you remember how folks felt when Stringer died? I vividly remember hearing every woman in my apartment complex scream at the very moment. It was quite surreal.

I might cry if Omar dies. Thank you.

I also watch Love Actually.

Goodnight and good luck.

Tune in (I’d like to say tomorrow because that’s the plan but we are Black) for October Madness!!! Remember, it’s not a game, it’s a tournament.