Once again it’s on. Coming on Monday for you and yours, come one, come all, it’s the return of the Crooklyn Dodgers…I mean…it’s the return of October Madness!

What is October Madness you say??

Sit back and have a listen.

In the beginning there was light. And on subsequent days, some all knowing all powerful being created lots of cool stuff for us to ruin millions of years later.

However, right before that infamous “Tree of Knowledge” incident and right after Eve put her goodies on display for Adam…

…God created ignorance. I think it happened on the 9th day or something, but it gets very little mention in the Bible.

Or Vanity Fair.

Either way ignorance was conceptualized and realized and not far behind ignorance was exploitation. Perhaps that was the 10th day.

A few (million) years later, God said “Let there be Panama” and out popped a little lightskinneded half-breed on a warm June day in a country known for breaking shit off, something proper-like.

That’s a pun by the way, though I know more than half of you won’t get it.

I’m sexxy enough to know these things, but fret not, we’ll work on colors tomorrow.

Well, one day, this ignorant summamabitch, together with another of his slightly less ignorant but similarly appreciative of exploitation bredren decided that what the world doesn’t do enough of is place the beauty of our sista’s on display. And we decided to do a service…a community service, if you will.

You know, I hear all the time how much women want to get credit for their brains; that men don’t care enough about what’s on their mind as much as we do whats on their bones. And I agree.

But until we figure out how to really care about brains in a constructive, non-sex related manner, T&A is alright with me. I mean, God (or whoever you pray to…assuming you pray) gifted women with curves that drive men nuts right? And wouldn’t it just be rude if no respect was paid to what God has placed on this planet?

I ask of you, wouldn’t that just be wrong?

And the crowd (mostly of men) said, Yay-men.

So with that little nugget in mind, myself (Panama Muhfuckin’) and The Champ laid forth a plan last October. It was a plan not unlike other plans, but a plan that was planned differently than other plans, which would make it unlike other plans, only it wasn’t. We decided that in order to truly appreciate woman…in all of her splendor and glory…and simultaneously cater to our both ignorant and exploitative sides, we put them together and do what people do best in this world…

…judge them.

We’d make a tournament unlike other tournaments. A tournament pitting the cream of the crop (I rise to the top, I never eat a pig because a pig is a cop) against one another, as nature intends it to be.

Survival of the fittest.

So on a cold October night in 2005, we created and put forth to the people, the First Annual October Madness Tournament, completely with PDF brackest and opened the doors for people to vote. And vote they did. Strangely, it seemed that more women were voting than men. And it was only strange because of how many women expressed their disdain for pitting women against one another to determine who was indeed the most banging woman in our tournament.

It turned out to be Kenya Moore by the way. God bless us everyone.

That’ll do, Tiny Tim. That’ll do.

Stacey Dash, Esther Baxter, Halle Berry…BEYONCE!!!!

So get ready, ladies and gentlemen, to argue, debate, discuss, disagree, yell, and be pissed off, because come Monday, The Second Annual October Madness Tournament co-sponsored by the good folks at Jackson G. Tickle Enterprises and The Royal Youngs will be bringing you exploitation, ass-oggling, and all around ignorance for you and yours.

We run it just like NCAA Basketball’s March Madness tournament where we’ll pit 32 women against one another in four brackets (regions) and you, the community will be given the opportunity to vote and determine who is the winner of the 2006 Tournament.

Tell a neighbor, tell a friend. Tell your pastor.

And remember, it’s not a game…it’s a tournament!

Monday!

This entry was posted on Friday, October 13th, 2006 at 10:08 am and is filed under October Madness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.