Star of the Star and Bucwild show…come on down!!!

*playing The Price Is Right Music in the background*

You’ll have to excuse me for a second because I’m about to get ignant.

Got it? Good.

Some niggas really need to be shot in the middle of the street for everybody to see. And this nigga (Star) is one of them. You see, niggas like this nigga (Star) make it hard for niggas like this nigga (me) to really love all of my black people the way that I want too. For one, he’s a fuckin’ idiot. For two, he makes the rest of us look bad by doing what he does when he does what he does like he does it for radio. And C, niggas like this have no remorse or even see anything wrong with what they’re doing. To me, he has basically sold his soul at the expense of any and all sense and doesn’t really give a shit who is in his wake. You see, this nigga is just disprespectful. And I hate him.

But I hate him now more for his utter fuckin’ stupidity on the Bill O’Reilly show, because you see now…now, he’s involved every nigga who loves and listens to hip-hop and has made us all look worse. At least Bill didn’t go down that road with him. Hell it seems that even Bill O’Reill wasn’t buying his horeshit.

Okay, I see you need some foundation. My apologies for getting a little carried away.

For those people who are not familiar with Star, he is a former shock jock for NY’s Hot 97 and moved to (I believe) Power 105 after being fired behind the Aaliyah debacle back in 2001.

What’s the Aaliyah debacle you ask?

This was when he went on air and had quite assholishly mocked the plane crash that Aaliyah was on full with yelling and screaming as the plane went down. His head was rightfully called for and I’m sure he lost some nights of sleep because he’d offended quite a few folks. Everybody wanted to whip his ass.

But being a shock jock, I suppose that’s what you do. Shock and piss people off. The more people the better.

Recently he was fired (and subsequently arrested) from his post at Power 105 because he (on-air) publicly threatened to pull an R. Kelly on the 4-year old child of rival Hot 97 host DJ Envy. He also made various racial remarks about Envy’s Asian wife and what he’d do to her. He asked the listeners to provide him the address to the school where Envy’s attended so he could go up there and pick her up himself and get his R. Kelly on.

Basically, he’s a sick fuck.

And quite frankly, I’ve always hated him. Well, now, he’s proven as to why he needs to be shot. Below is a YouTube video of him on the Bill O’Reilly show. Look, I’m no fan of Billy Boy, but he’s not stupid, and he doesn’t take to kindly to be taken for an idiot as most of us don’t.

Star…tries to play him. Just watch this stupid shit and tell me if you don’t want to shoot Star yourself.

This nigga REALLY tried to play off what he said on radio as part of hood culture…in FACT, this nigga BASICALLY blames hip-hop for what he said and places it in the realm of being okay because verbally jousting and threatening to piss on one’s child is just what we do in the ‘hood.

Umm, I ain’t NEVER even thinking of having a thought of pissing on nobody’s child as revenge, and there are STILL crackheads in my neighborhood.

Word life.

Fuck you Star…and please go die. .

Click on the link below to view the YouTube interview between Bill O’Reilly and Star.

Star on the Bill O’Reilly Show

Babies.

Babies babies everywhere, up to my elbows, up to my hair.

One of the greatest gifts God has bestowed upon humankind is the ability to reproduce. True indeed, there really should be some kind of screening process before two people are allowed to actually procreate…but then again, if that was the case how on Earth would we get some of the asstastic messes of families that we have today. The Whitney-Bobby Brown’s come to mind as do the Jackson’s and the Williamses’. Basically, we need the variety and mess that is some families in order to make the rest of our lives interesting.

Hell, if there was a screening process, there’d be no vh1 Behind The Music specials, and you know how entertaining those are.

Oh, how I digress.

So it seems like many people around me are either getting married or having kids. Funny how it seems that nobody is doing both, it’s pretty much either/or. Long live different value systems!

[***Sidenote: You know how a lot of older generation individuals think that us youth are going to Hell in a handbasket, what with all the out of wedlock births and teenage mothers? Well, I think that if we did some kind of scientific study comparing, say, the 1950's with the current era, we might not find much of a difference in both sheer number or proportion. Do you want to know what the only differnece between then and now was? It's that there is now a soundtrack to absentee daddies and teenage mothers: rap music. Hell, we have songs about being a "babby daddy" and "baby momma" and a lot of the ignorance that used to be contained in the home now has an outlet via Ignant Niggas International (insert random ignant nigga record label here) Records. Yep, the revolution might not be televised, but it sure as hell with have a soundtrack, Jack! ***]

I’m very happy for all of my friends with new children or spouses. I’m just not ready in the slightest to be there. In fact, I’m very okay with the fact that I have no real desire to be married right now. And kids? Umm…no. In fact, let’s talk about this.

I’ve decided to turn over a new leaf of sorts. I’ve discovered the most effective sex-deterrent in history: my nieces and nephews. And no, I don’t mean safe sex-deterrent. I mean altogether sex-deterrent. As in, not gonna happen. As in, stay away from me you baby-harboring Kangaroo! I love my nieces and nephews. They’re the most adorable fluorescent children you’ve ever seen.

Until I have to babysit them and watch them and break up fights and try not to kill them.

So my new leaf is one of total abstinence. To tell the truth, that’s pretty easy being as I’m not much of a manwhore anyway. But there’s something one must realize about my newfound leafage. It has jack shit to do with trying to get closer to my spiritual self or finding myself or any of that other malarkey that so many people come up with as to why they want to rediscover their inner virgin. Nope, for me…it’s pure and total fear.

I, Panama Jackson, am afraid of being a daddy right now because little kids never stop moving/talking/yelling/screaming/running/etc. I would lose my mind with a child at this juncture. And my nieces and nephews are great kids, so I can’t even imagine what I’d do with horrible devil spawns.

This also brings up another situation. See, deciding to abstain for fear of procreating period, not even with some woman I could marry, is bound to cause problems. When you reach a certain age, many women have “needs”, if you know what I mean. Heh heh.

*wink wink* *nudge nudge*

I can just see that conversation now. Hell, I kind of HAD that conversation a long time ago with a woman who was soon to become my girlfriend. At that point I was giong through something very similar. Needless to say, she was understanding but wasn’t really having that.

But have you any idea how I feel right now? At 1118pm Central Standard Time?

I feel like this:

If I’m dating some woman and she decides that she is going to get her some (from me) and isn’t taking me serious…I will just have to break up with her.

Mmhmm.

Shoot. She obviously doesn’t care about me. It’s like a woman trying to get you to have sex raw dog. I might have to jack slap her for that shit. If you think that’s okay, you quite clearly do not care about me or my well-being. And for that you are a selfish asshole who should be shot. But since I live in DC where owning a handgun is both illegal and frowned up (!) I’ll just either kick you the fuck out of my place or leave your spot.

I mean, is it such a crime if His Royal Sexxiness would prefer to just stand on opposite sides of the room and throw little popcorn kernels at one another for fear of potentially bringing a little Panamista or Panamanuel into this world? I think not.

Hell, that sounds like a good date to me!

(Dude, I’m so joking.)

But really, is it a crime if I want to wait? If a woman brought that to me I’d be respectful of it and wouldn’t even question it…UNLESS…she has told me that she’s trying to wait until marriage knowing full gotdamn well that she’s had her back broke more times than the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Because then, I’m just insulted.

At least come to me with a good reason…and that whole, “doing everything but doing nothing shit”? That’s for Toucan Sam and the NBC Peacock.

Luckily, that won’t be a problem for me anymore. My siblings’ offspring have opened up my eyes to the Hell that can be parenting. For now anyway, because I would like to have children, and as I’ve stated before, I have to have a daughter so I can raise my Queen to be the artful Goddess of her skin tone.

Hmm, I hope my wife doesn’t end up hating me…or my daughter.

Yet, I digress once more.

Babies are great, but I don’t think I could handle it right now. And though I’ve been dealing with 3 at a time, even one might require a wee bit more footspeed and reaction time than I have right now. Single with singles? That’s how I get down right now.

Off to the strip club where the women provide all the fantasy and never touch you (in most states unless you go to high priced rooms and that just isn’t my style…)

To strippers!

Cheers.

Women with my well-being in mind.

And the crowd says…yay-men.

I’ve returned back to the bottom of the map. Back in the mud…

Well I assume you get the point. I’m back down South and I couldn’t be happier if I was a pig in slop.

Yes, that is a country statement. Yes, I am slightly country. But overall…yes, I’m sexxier than you. Don’t forget that.

I came back to Atlanta because one of my boys had his graduation commencement ceremony for his Ph.D. in Biomedical Engineering.

I say, gotdamn.

And we had a party on Friday night. It was ignorantly ignant.

You know, I really must say how much I love Atlanta. This simple fact cannot be stressed enough. Everytime I’m back in Atlanta I just feel comfortable…I’m more at ease. While I’m living and working and playing in Washington, DC, I can honestly say that I never feel at complete peace. I’d always rather be somewhere else. Granted, DC isn’t bad at all. And over time I’ve come to accept it as a second home kind of thing. When I move from DC I know I’ll miss it because its ultimately the place where I did my final stages of growing up. I came into my own in DC.

Basically, I obtained my second “x” in DC. It’s where I became sexxy, not just sexy since we all know that I am the king purveyor of all that is sexxy and that sexxy couldn’t be achieved if I’d never come to DC and made it to do what it do.

I also did it like I was doing it for TV.

You betta know dat.

Speaking of shit you betta know, Outkast’s song “Hollywood Divorce” featuring Lil Wayne and Snoop is so fuckin’ crazily off the hinges. It’s all over the internet right now, I suggest you aww skeet skeet over to Allhiphop to listen to it from their homepage.

A is for Adamsville, B is for Bowen Homes…you see, even Dre knows whats up. Westside of the A beeyotch.

Back to my Southern Comfort…oh yes, much liquor consumption took place on Friday and Saturday evening. At my boy’s graduation party so many people fell through it was nuts. I saw all kinds of friends of mine. Some new friends, some old. Hell, even one of my sisters just fell through. ‘Twas one hell of a party.

Have you noticed that I have very little point in writing this post?

I’ll even take my happiness a step further. I’m typing this from my parent’s house in Alabama. And I’m even happy here. There’s something about peace and quiet that I think it takes living in a city, or on a block where there is non-stop action be it from crackheads, prostitutes (they’ve made a strange resurgence around my neighborhood for some reason) or just police.

This all just makes me realize, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that soon and very soon, I must return back to Atlanta, to live. Add to the fact that it’s so damn cheap to live in Atlanta relative to every other city I’d think about living and there really is no downside. I’ve got family, a truckload of friends, and Atlanta is just a beautiful place.

I know why I left, but I don’t really know why I’ve stayed away. Of course, I did get my sexxy and shit, but let’s assume that my sexxy was just layign latent anyway, which means that it would have manifested itself at some point anyway right?

Right.

Oh yes, fuck that heffa that hit me with her drunk ass and no insurance.

I will be down South (going back to Atlanta on Thursday for those in the A that I’m supposed to be catching up with like Heinz) and I’m already depressed that I have to go back to DC and back to work and shit…

Of course there is some good news in all of this…

…I just really don’t know what it is right now.

Le sigh.

I shall now go and roll around in the grass and then eat some collard greens.

I miss home a lot.

And yes, this was a pointless post…I told you that a good 6 or something paragraphs ago, assuming that you know it is wholly possible to have a one sentence paragraph.

Good night and Good luck.