It is a sad day here at Jackson G. Tickle Headquarters. It is a day unlike any other day which means its a day unlike yesterday, which would fall squarely in the realm of any other day.

It is a day where change must occur. Some people say change is good. But for me, change is sad. Change tends to require you to thrive on the memories. I don’t like living on the memories, but alas, there is nothing else that can be done.

You see, today, I’m different.

The core of my being is different than it was yesterday. It is still a core full of sexx appeal. For I am as sexxy today as I was yesterday, if not more. But I am still different today for I have seen something that has caused my world to shift.

My world now exists as if Pluto is no longer a planet.

Oh…right.

Today, I’d like to sadly announce the passing of a JGT great. A legend amongst legends. Now this is not a passing as if into the afterlife. No, she does not live in my lap. This is a passing of the torch. It is the moment where one person no longer holds the crown that they once held. It is with great humility that I must bid adieu to Christina Milian as the woman I’d give my spleen and for whom I’d drink her bathwater…for there is a new bather in town.

I must now resort to drinking somebody else’s bathwater.

But first, for the good times…here are some pictures of Christina Milian that made me smile…*sniffle*:

(Whatever YOU want Christina…whatever YOU want I got it!)

(Here’s looking at you Christina…at you!!!)

(So classy…this one’s for the good times, Christina!)

(This is how I see you in my dreams…nearly twice a week…so sad…)

Christina, myself and Whitney Houston (and Dolly Parton) will always love you. It’s not you, it’s me.

Actually it’s her…let me officially introduce you to the newest fanatical crush I’ve surrended to in my life. She’s fine like no other and much like Christina, her real talent aside from being hot has yet to be shown. But she snagged her a white man that can sing so that must count for something right (Robin Thicke, anyone)?

Paula Patton, you are my new Queen. Christina is fine, but you wore the HELL out of that dress in the Idlewild movie, which despite being strange was enjoyable and aesthetically pleasing.

But YOU, girl YOU, are the most aesthetically pleasing thing I’ve seen in quite sometime. So what you got voted out in Round 1 of our October Madness Tournament…I’ll bet it won’t happen again.

Paula, you can live in my lap (or die) any time you want!

Ten points and a pack of Cherry Kool-aid for anybody who can tell me which ’90’s movie I just referenced.

So what you’re IMDB page is more blank than a sterile 98 year old…you are beautiful and we all know it.

Thank you for living and being fine. You make me smile like Shanice.

(That’s right…look right into my soul…into my love for you!)

(You even look fine in the early ’90s video poses!!! Who else can really pull that off?? Surely not Mary J.)

(Girl, you’re even fine at work…I work with women, they all look like they’re working. You?? You like like you’re fine!)

(Just stand there and look like you do…I’ll wait…take them pictures girl…take ‘em)

(This is how I came to know and love you…thank you Outkast for making my life better…loved the soundtrack, babe…totally!)

Yes, the changing of the guard has been officially officialized. I’d like to welcome everybody to Paula Patton, the new object of my celebrity affection. And to Christina, you’ll never be forgotten, and truthfully, I’ll probably still dream about you (if that’s okay).

Shoutouts to the homie, Eagle-Eye Johnny Kwest for pinning her amazing fineness during her 3.5 second appearance in the movie Hitch. To this day nobody remembers her from there, but you saw the potential…and we are all better off for it.

To Paula…welcome to my heart.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 29th, 2006 at 2:12 pm and is filed under Celebrity Fun. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.