Tired Black Man: Negro Please!
By now, nearly everybody should have seen the 3:26 clip from some upcoming low-budget, homey next door filmed, movie Diary of a Tired Black Man.
One of the tag lines reads: Now it’s the mens turn to exhale.
Indeed, it is.
If you haven’t, I highly suggest that you do so now. In fact, if you haven’t, I’ll wait.
*humming “Sailing” by Christopher Cross*
You back? Good. Pretty interesting premise isn’t it, though not very original. If the movie follows the trailer, it is essentially a white-woman-dating-black-man’s wet dream, with extra emphasis on dream, for what would happen if he was ever confronted with the decision he made to date a white woman. I happen to find the clip to be downright comedic since nobody can really act and damn near everything about the preview is preposterously un-fuckin’-realistic to the nth degree.
Shall we begin? Yes, let us. But first, I must proffer a definition for those non-slanguists in the audience or those unfamiliar with urban terminology.
son. defintion (1) noun. the male offspring of a man and a woman. if in the black community, 8 times out of 10, at 12 he will become the man of the house because his father has disappeared; (2) verb. to completely quiet or shut down somebody in an argument/battle/war in a way that totally undermines their opinion/feeling/abilities in such a way that they have on response, retort, or dignity left. see also rap battles, slavery, Napolean’s conquest for Europe, Hannibal, 2004 Presidential election
It is the second definition that we will be working with here. Why? I’ll tell you why.
It’s is completely and totally fuckin’ unrealistic and unbelievable to even imagine that ANY black man in America would have the ability to son FOUR/QUATRO/FO’/5-1/2+2/QUATRE black women at any time on any situation as charged as a black man dating a white woman.
At her house. Get the fuck out of here.
Not.
Gonna.
Happen.
Ever.
Everytime I watch the clip I’m just waiting for the real version to surface. You know, the one where as soon as his ex-wife sees him driving up with a white woman, she charges out the front door and starts yelling all kinds of bitches, tramps, and skeezers at the white woman while the black man has to physically push her back into the house.
And then…
She starts yelling at him calling all kinds of emasculating names and her friends join into the fracas and begin cursing him out and shit. Oh wait…that’s not what would have happened. This is a white woman here, my bad.
Let’s rewind.
*rewinding noise*
Everytime I watch the clip I’m just waiting for the real version to surface. You know, the one where as soon as his ex-wife sees him driving up with a white woman, she charges out the front door and starts yelling all kinds of bitches, tramps, and skeezers at the white woman while the black man has to physically push her back into the house which causes her to start swinging on her husband which causes the white woman to very stupidly GET OUT OF THE CAR causing the black ex-wife’s friends to come out of the house and commence to hurling racial slurs epithets and love songs at the white girl and THEN commence to pushing and then possibly whipping her ass while the black man then comes to the aid of his white woman and gets hit in the process causing him to slap the monkey shine shit out of somebody and end up in jail.
That is what happens in real life. And its probably his fault. Just don’t bring the white girl to your ex-wife’s house when you’re coming to pick up your child, k?
But no. In this pipe dream of a clip, the black man TOTALLY SONS four black women. Causing all of them to shut the fuck up with well timed and articulate sentences that reinforce that he is indeed not a weak black man. He is a strong black man who has never even thought about a white woman before in the entire time that his ex has known him. He just wants a drama-less household and the fact that the woman he is receiving that from is white is just secondary, though that’s clearly the premise that’s being pushed here.
Wesley Snipes would be so proud.
I don’t know if anybody realizes the magnitude of the bullshit that is being pushed here. Let’s assume he makes it to the door unscathed. As soon as he started talking the women would have ganged up on him and not heard a single damn thing he said. Even if everything he said was true, up until the implied white woman drama free part, it wouldn’t matter because no self-respecting black woman is going to listen to any black man justify dating a white woman. None. He is automatically weak and that gives them every opportunity to just mentally beat him down especially since he’s trying to defend himself which serves no purpose whatsoever.
That’s like a black man trying to defend himself in 1867 for whistling at a white woman with an all white jury deciding his fate. Guilty bitch, guilty.
Further, where in America have you EVER seen four black women who would calmly answer questions and act civil in an emotionally charged situation like that. I have three sisters, one of whom has a kid by a white dude and she STILL goes off on black men dating white women. Hell, she went off on her white baby-daddy for dating a white girl.
Common sense and pissed off black women never quite meet in the middle.
But nope, in this clip, the black women listened and answered his questions in a way that made it seem that he was asking questions that made the women think. Hold the fuckin’ phone. There is no thinking in emotionally charged situations…not until after everybody’s had time to think on their own. But there they go, thinking and listening as this black man completely destroys their criticisms of him.
Pure and utter bullshit.
You get all the standard shit. “Youse a weak ass nigga.” “I’m not dating right now because I’m tired of weak ass niggas like you.” And of course none of the women is dating…except for the light skinned woman.
Who is dating a white man. Waitaminute.
I don’t know about you, but that immediately struck me as odd. In all of my experiences of living, most black women dating white men tend to be more on the darker side of the shade tree. I don’t know if lighter women are just on a quest for more color in their children’s lives or what, but you just don’t see that very often. I have a theory on this, but this is already long so that is another post. I could be wrong, but pay attention to the women you see dating white men, there are exceptions, but for the most part, it isn’t the uber-lightskinned black women doing it.
So to the makers of the movie Tired Black Man, I say, nigga please. Nowhere in America would one black man stand a chance against 4 black women on damn near anything, unless he is their pimp. And not like Nelly, but like Mr. Whitefolks. Further, nowhere in America would the bIack man get clearly cogent and understandable opinions out for the black women to calmly hear and internalize to a point where they felt bad.
I am a black man. I am not stupid. I know what battles to pick with black women. That ain’t one of them.
I look forward to more comedy, but the least you can do is make it slightly more realistic. At least throw in one of the fights that undoubtedly would occur. Thank you however for making the women in the clip at least attractive despite the fact that the white woman with no lines was the best actor in the entire thing as Hollywood is undoubtedly worried about the recent quadrupling of black people who are the recipients of much coveted Oscars.
April 27th, 2006 11:33
I saw this clip and thought it was hilarious. I will def get the bootleg becuz im not paying for this She hate me spin off. The acting in this clip was the worst I’ve ever seen.
April 27th, 2006 13:37
Acting? Horrible. This is just something put out to get people all up in arms and create a buzz for this student production.
Dude is wrong on so many accounts. No matter the color, you don’t just up and bring another woman in your ex-wife’s drive way when you claim she’s so much drama! Was it just me or did it seem like he implied he was doing better with his white woman, “I live in a bigger house now.” Please.
I tend to agree that Black women can be drama and sometimes I want to tell them to just shut the fuggup sometimes. However, there are white women who are drama too they just do it in a different way. If a black man simply says, “I’m with this white women because I like her.” I have no issues. But what bothers me is when in an effort to justify his actions (because he’s probably not exactly secure in it) he has to denegrate Black women as a whole. Piss poor. But as I’ve maintained, most of the men I know who only date white women are not the quality of men that me or any of my friends would want. So if Becky wants his butt, she can have him.
Another unreal thing about this clip is what the women said. The way it’s set up, these women come off like they have real jobs and maybe a sliver of education. Therefore, they probably interact with white women on a regular basis and know that not all of them are doormats. But then again, I could be completely wrong because I was completely distracted by the bad acting.
April 27th, 2006 14:14
I didn’t get to see the clip cause I’m currently at work.
But I think this movie is a good idea. It’s about damn time that this kind of movie was put out there.
As to the man dating the white woman and having a “drama free” relationship. That sjit right there is science fiction. All relationships are filled with drama.
RE: “In this pipe dream of a clip, the black man TOTALLY SONS four black women.”
It’s a movie Panama and if the late Gregory Hines could end up with Loretta Devine in “Waiting to Exhale” and if Angela Bassett could end up with Taye Diggs in “Stella” WHY NOT THIS?
April 27th, 2006 14:18
@The Diggy Doc: I understand that it’s a movie, but this shit ain’t exactly X-Men either. I’m not being asked to suspend reality. It would seem that the goal here is to put black women on front street about why black men are tired. That isn’t fiction, that is “supposed” to be fact. Therefore, I am well within my rights to expect some reality in this situation.
Though I suppose I should know something’s up when they can’t even find an African-American male to play the lead, they had to get an African. I guess black dudes really ain’t shit, we can’t convincingly play the role of a black man who is justfied in dating a white girl.
April 27th, 2006 14:37
@ Panama
“Though I suppose I should know something’s up when they can’t even find an African-American male to play the lead, they had to get an African. I guess black dudes really ain’t shit, we can’t convincingly play the role of a black man who is justfied in dating a white girl”
*****dead*****
April 27th, 2006 15:28
I guess black dudes really ain’t shit, we can’t convincingly play the role of a black man who is justfied in dating a white girl.
Since Africans do that kind of thing more often I can see them being more convincing that African-Americans in those kinds of roles. IMO
April 27th, 2006 17:45
I’m gonna have to agree with The Hostess on this one…putting myself in the wife’s position, my first thought would be “No he DID NOT bring this bytch to my house!!!!” The fact that she is white would be secondary. That is not to say that it will add much fuel to the flame of my indignation. Not necessarily because I AM mad, but because it is such an emotionally charged subject that you could logically FORSEE me becoming mad. So I must assume that you DID forsee it, and chose not to care. Which is disrectful in itself. So that makes me EVEN MORE mad. See? No really. See?
What was that you were saying about pissed off Black women and logic?
April 27th, 2006 18:39
Also, I cannot spell. Or punctuate properly. Carry on!
April 27th, 2006 19:22
Dude, I laughed all the way through this entry. When I saw the clip, the only thing that went through my head was “why in the da hell are them fo’ heffas lettin this African shut them the hells up?? What planet was this movie shot on??”
After watching it, I was totally expecting this entry to be about interacial blah blah blah. But nygga, you caught the ESSENCE of what this clip was all about! This ain’t about tired black men, it’s about an unrealistic scenario between Baby Daddy, Baby Mamma, and her three friends! And to think them three bytches stayed SEATED the whole time??!!
This clip is such utter, obvious, clear, and present bullshyt…. yet the hilarity of its unrealness is funny as fukk.
April 28th, 2006 09:34
@BC: Thats what I’m saying. There is no way in hell this would ever happen. I know niggas who have DREAMS about pulling that shit off. Hell, I think every man at some point has a dream about being able to completely quiet his wife in the midst of an argument because for once she listened when he was right. What happens is that they usually listen when we’re wrong, and then slap the shit out of us. But who’s splitting hairs??
@The Hostess: Yeah, I didnt comment on it but the one thing the clip did touch on that I don’t think gets enough airtime is the theory of the college educated hoodrat. THAT is something well worth discussing on a panel or at the next State of Black America conference.
@The Diggy Doc (clearly your new name): Maybe this is a regional thing or something, but errum, I don’t exactly see SO many white women dating actual Africans. I see them dating the niggas that celebrate Kwanzaa, not the niggas that Kwanzaa is SUPPOSED to be celebrating. And apparently I’m not the only one who was kind of surprised at that. I could be very wrong on this, but I’m gonna need a little more data on real Africans dating white women at a higher rate African Americans before I drink that Kool-Aid.
I also have a theory on why that isn’t the case that I might whip (it real hard, whip it whip it real hard) out at some point.
Everyday I’m hustlin.
April 28th, 2006 12:20
@Panama: You’ve got to remember I’m in Harlem so I see a lot of different matchups. African-American men have moved on past white chicks and have moved on to Asian chicks.
It’s actually safe to say that the Asian chick is the new White girl.
As far as Africans are concerned know of a few Africans that date white women. In fact in college (FDU) I knew a whole bunch of guys from Senegal and that was their specialty.
So that’s why I can see why they are more convincing because they do it more often and they aren’t as self conscious about it as we are.
April 28th, 2006 12:31
You have articulated oh so nicely what I thought about this clip from this first time I saw this bull. Aint no damn way his black ass woulda shut them sista’s down with his little speech. Couldn’t you just hear the world’s tiniest violins playing in the background? They woulda mopped the floor with him and sent him back to his car with his balls in a manbag.
Tired Black Man was clearly made by and for corny black men and the white women who love them. I shudder at the thought of this being a full-length movie.
April 28th, 2006 12:57
@The Doc: Okay, I’m still not buying it. I do not believe that Africans date white women more than African Americans. And since i’m sure you’re gonna try to shut that down I decided to add research to it.
I live in Washington DC, and according to this site, ( http://www.migrationinformation.org/Feature/display.cfm?ID=147 ) as of 2000, roughly the same amount of African immigrants were in DC as NY. Given that, I feel as if I have as much access to Africans. Further, I live near a largely African corridor of DC, specifically Ethiopian and Eritrean and maybe West Africans are more likely than East Africans to date white women, but as it stands, we have no proof on that. In fact, DC has a higher proportion of Africans.
Further, for those that live in the DC area, we know that northern VA, which has largely African and Arab enclaves ALSO has HUGE numbers of interracial couples. I’m not sure why, but in VA its just one of those normal things. Given that, and despite the large numbers of Africans, the most common mixed race black/white couples are African-American men and white women. I’ve seen very few Africans with white women. Granted, I have seen one here and there, but very few.
And to further that point, from Wikipedia’s search on interracial marriage (so take it with a grain of salt but until it can be proven otherwise, Im buying it, and assuming dating would naturally lead to marriage):
It is found that racial endogamy (marrying within one’s social group) is much stronger for immigrants as compared to natives; it is 4.9 times more likely for black immigrants than for African Americans. Additionally, black immigrants have the highest rates of endogamy of immigrants. Also, black immigrants are much more likely to marry other same-race immigrants and African Americans, than to out-marry racially. Native-born whites are also 1.6 times more likely to marry a native-born black than an immigrant counterpart. Immigrant black women are generally more likely to marry native-born whites than their male counterparts.
All that to say, black American men date white women more than African men do, and though I don’t have a problem with it in the film’s context, its still not a normal occurence, hence I chose to gripe about the unrealisticness of that part even further.
May 2nd, 2006 03:32
yea…that’s like a white chick being with a “light-skined-ed-ed” black male. It’s just unlikely…
May 3rd, 2006 13:36
I would love to hear your theory re: dark skinned women and white women. I too have noticed that trend, but I have no theories about it.
Yeah, this clip? Had me DYING in my cubicle at work man. The bad acting, the unrealistic scenario…there’s no way that he could put his face in her face like that and not end up scratched up by an artificial nail or something. Especially the way they were getting upset in the house when he drove up. HILARIOUS!!!!
May 3rd, 2006 21:33
I thought it was hilarious! I completely agree 100% fake and false. That white women would have had her ass beat. That brother would have been shot in my circle of friends. I konw of a few sisters, (of course no one that I know) that uses the “beat a negro down rule” they just show up and beat him for cheating on one of their girls. Like a crazed posse and beat you senseless!!
The movie does not show an accurate version of our life.
Garbage!
May 16th, 2006 15:35
“I don’t know about you, but that immediately struck me as odd. In all of my experiences of living, most black women dating white men tend to be more on the darker side of the shade tree. I don’t know if lighter women are just on a quest for more color in their children’s lives or what, but you just don’t see that very often. I have a theory on this, but this is already long so that is another post. I could be wrong, but pay attention to the women you see dating white men, there are exceptions, but for the most part, it isn’t the uber-lightskinned black women doing it.”
Hey there Panama….I read this comment, which is kinda off the main subject. But I was just interested in hearing your theory on this….Curiosity has struck me. However, I bet I know what your theory may be. Nonetheless, I rather have you explain and see if I was on the right path. You can e-mail me personally, or post it here…
Thanks babe
September 29th, 2006 15:05
i need to see your side