The 2nd Every-So-Often Jackson G. Tickle Wax On-Rap Off In Your Pajama Jammy Jam
Word to big bird!
Back by popular demand, we here at Jackson G. Tickle Enterprises are having our second rap battle. For those that don’t know, don’t show, or just don’t care about what goes on at the rap battle, here are the ground rules. If you don’t care, go light yourself on fire and sing Kumbaya.
1) Anything goes. This is not for the faint of heart. Though nobody here knows eachother all THAT well, the jabs can get pretty down right mean. Hell, if I’m not mistaken, Monk, made an acronym out of my name and called me some pretty foul things. Fuck him, by the way.
2) Don’t take anything personal. It’s all in fun and games. See The last sentence of the previous bullet point.
3) Keep posting until your hearts content. I will stop at around 5pm. Feel free to continue any throttleance of your comrades and fellow battlesters well into the wee hours and over the weekend. Me? After 5, I’ll be back Monday.
Okay, those are the ground rules. There is one last order of business before I start this off. I’ve been asked a few times about my opinion on T.I.’s new album, King, which is a very good album. Classic? Not so much. It had the potential, and after conversations with a few people, I just may discuss how he could have done it next week. Either way, in my attempts to figure out how to describe the album, I happened upon Byron Crawford AKA Bol Guevara website where he was discussing the labeling of T.I.’s album as a classic by some other writers, and he pretty much summed it up better than I could:
“As much as I hate to interrupt happy time, I’m going to have to call bullshit on this one. Both of these albums [with the other being Ghostface's Fishscale album] are pretty good as far as modern rap albums are concerned, but neither one of them is really worth more than maybe an 8 out of 10. I definitely wouldn’t refer to either one of them as a classic.
As I mentioned in the comments at Hip Hop Blogs, the last 6 tracks on the TI album are pure unadulterated shit. And it’s not like the first 12 constituted Illmatic either.”
Though I don’t think that all of the last 6 tracks are shit (with You Know Who being the exception), I pretty much agree.
Now…are you ready?
I say, are you ready??
Then let’s roll. I’ll throw out the first complimentary verse and let the battle begin.
Let me go ahead and begin the lyrical asswhippin’
I don’t care if you my blood, Imma treat you like you crippin’
and for those punk niggas who gon’ try to just slip in
I extend the middle finger salute to you bitches
I’m hoping that everybody is ready for fun and games
that’s gon’ last for 2 seconds as I dismantle all you lames
It’s a shame I got to do it, but thanks for entertaining
the thought of being more than a pawn while I’m reigning
I’m the King of these premises fuck you if you hating
you seem to think that these facts are up to be debated
I done stated in past times you dont want it with Petey Jakes
the most magnificent mofo in these here United States
I handled a few niggas before so don’t sleep
and since y’all niggas dont know history, Im gonna have to go and repeat
I’m so gangsta I just gave you 14 bars. Who you know only does 14?? Fucka 16. Just a little something to get people in the right state of mind…annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd…
Go.
March 31st, 2006 10:16
Well a nigga like me don’t have to much to say / I’m in the ‘ATL’ like that movie released today / I ain’t come to start beef, just wanna kick a few rhymes /
But I can see someone has been on my dick for some time / I guess the last shit I said really stuck in his head / These shots are fatal and will leave you in a puddle of red / Just wanted to give my 2 cents and now I’m walkin’ out / No need for another acronym, you know who the fuck I’m talkin’ bout
March 31st, 2006 10:33
Monk you’re right, you don’t have shit to say
sounds about normal, no surprises today
i gave you a little shine, but im not on your dick
though im sure theres lots of room since no one else is on it
i’d like to welcome you to the A, please enjoy the city
enjoy Peachtree, Buckhead, Midtown, and Dunwoody
the Adamsvillain knows you aint G enough to go the other way
so stay your punk ass off that Westside MLK
March 31st, 2006 10:48
The battle has begun at Jackson G. Tickle
Ya rhyme like a rookie and yo ass is fickle
No shock that intro came up short
That shit was criminal I oughta take ya to court
You still in training, son
Go find a boot camp
Go sign up for Army,
Be all you can be
Cuz right now?
You ain’t even challenging me
Ok…Baring it chump! I am bulletproof, ya heard!
March 31st, 2006 11:37
Diva that shit was horribly fucktastic, just shit/
if that’s the best you can do you might as well go ahead and quit/
your shit was bottom wrung, whatever’s below the celler/
i’ve heard better shit come from Helen Keller/
Rhymefest ain’t the only nigga who’s wacktose intolerant/
i’m halfway offended you thought that shit was quality/
i’ve seen animals with no thumbs rap better shit texting/
call Puffy and Proactiv, cuz you just lost your sexy
March 31st, 2006 11:46
I thought I’d come through/
share some lines with you kiddies/
low and behold no completion/
what a pity/
we got j.g tickle who thinks he runs the game/
but you know what brother/
over and over you say the same thang/
but still you got these groupies/
steady ridin’ on yo‚Äô tip/
so I guess I can’t hate/
homie you got it/
but one things for sure/
you aint no real emcee/
so just be easy greasy/
and stick to gettin those degrees…
March 31st, 2006 12:29
Welcome Johnny Robinson to the fray I’m impressed/
or i would be if your third line made any damn sense/
you can’t step to the king without proper syntax/
your rhymes were pretty shitty, yay, success for exlax/
matter of fact don’t even try to step to the big leagues/
jackie’s the only robinson worth mentioning I see/
that rhyme was ho-hum, you and diva should team up/
you both suck more than two hoes vacuuming straws up/
in fact why in the fuck are these fakers feelin’ so froggy/
getting those degrees? i got them you carbon copy/
you did say one thing right, when you said homie you got it/
exactumundo nigga, i got it, so you should quit
March 31st, 2006 12:40
Xquizzyt1’s here, didn’t mean to make ya’ll wait
Rhymes so fucking on time that they could never be late
Figured since I’m bored, got nothing better to do
I’d come blowup your spot as usual - what else is new?
Your shit and mine? Like a Porsche to a scooter
Or a .357 to a fucking pea-shooter…
Clearly why you don’t own a mic and have to rap by computer
You can’t hang with me sweetie, just hire me as your tutor
Waiting for your feeble attempts to try to come back and upset me…
Rhymes hot like a fever – damn, no wonder you sweat me.
March 31st, 2006 12:41
ok there brother do what you can
point out my mistake
you’re a better man then I am
literally cause im the woman
that could drop you to your knees
but here today
fighting words I see it will be
fact remains
your lyrical skills are mundane
im sure your girl thinks of you the same
but let me step back just in case you take it personal
I know bitch ass negros like you may be susceptible
to dishing it out but not taking it in
but then again
you may be an expert at that
that is ….taken it in from the back
March 31st, 2006 12:46
oh snap! Johnny got gangsta!! LMAO!
March 31st, 2006 12:51
Wow that was terrible, no wonder you use X/
I’d cross out my name too if that was my best/
If that’s why you kept us waiting, well then that’s a shame/
Bob Marley aint the only one waiting in vain/
Porsche to a scooter, more like a Hyundai to a Range/
nobody wants you, I’m in demand and folks will pay/
so just take your wack shit back to the Bronx from whence it came/
KRS would be hurt that your pissin’ all on his name
March 31st, 2006 12:57
My rhymes are hotter than a muafuckin’ arson, fam / Y’all read that shit that wuz said by Mr. Martian man? / I spit these flames at the lame, you can call me Prime Time / Set your blog on fire and close it down like 5-5-9 / it’s an inferno up in here, you’re burned to the third degree / Like J.R. said, give up rap and work on gettn’ your third degree / Nigga, you BANNED from the A, you don’t have no words for me / can’t come back home even if you clcked your heels like Dorothy
March 31st, 2006 12:59
Me lose my sexxy?
That makes me snicker
Can’t lose what I am
Ya need lessons from me nigga
Is this the best that ya got?
Thought ya had a real shot
But I am bulletproof nigga
Ya shit would bounce right off
Ya comeback was jagged,
Which I expected
You ain’t even got edge
Is that why they call you a faggot?
Come at me with real shit
You can’t handle real bitches
You playing with fire
Nigga you don’t know?
Ask bout BPD’s ire
I can go dominatrix
Whip you into submission
Make you jump through hoops
After you ask permission
I should ask your girl
Why she hasn’t bounced yet
Your wack rhymes won’t even make hoes wet
I got this on lock
So, please just go chill
In fact, I know
Hand over We The Voices
Why should we read you now
When we got better choices?
March 31st, 2006 13:15
Johnny Robinson, welcome back to the brothel/
where is my money, i dont know why i bother/
take it from the back, resorting to gayness/
how unoriginal, at least you ain’t as bad as Diva’s shit/
wrote all that shit and said absolutely nothing/
you got better choices? you’re site really aint one of them/
BANNED from the A, my nigga, you’re tripping/
I’m the reason y’all niggas don’t leave after a short visit/
truth be told i don’t respect none of yall lyrics/
they’re horribly written, have no point, and lyrically just shit/
one hot line does not a good diss make/
luckily nobody else reading would even make that mistake
March 31st, 2006 13:18
I’m wait to hear what the man will say next
I’m sure he’s in his little cubical getting vexed
JGT you don’t know what you getting into
Sad to say you a chump… fool
I gotta bounce to go teach the young black youth
So I may be scarce not able to come back and kick the truth
But I’m sure monk and proof will keep you in your place
If not I got a wet place to stick your face…
March 31st, 2006 14:00
Oh hell no, you dare try and disrespect me?
Talking shit about the Bronx and BDP?
This is MY show nigga, look up at the marquee
XQUIZZYT1 in all lights – the bitch YOU paid to see
Bowing down to me was the price of admission
You want to be in my show but can’t handle the position
They’d boo you off the stage like an Apollo audition
You want to study me? Then nigga pay your tuition
Sick of handling your childish shit like I’m your pediatrician
Why the fuck would you come up in here of your own volition
And put X on a straight search and destroy mission?
Your rhymes weak and suffering from malnutrition
Shooting blanks like a gun with no damn ammunition
You need to SCAT nigga – like a Jazz musician…
You call yourself a pimp but you’re more like a magician
Cuz - when you speak wackness will suddenly appear
The truth makes you trip? Take DEFEAT as a souvenir.
March 31st, 2006 14:02
DAYUM!!!!! JOHNNY IS NOT PLAYING!!!! ROFLMAO!!!
March 31st, 2006 14:05
ROFLMAO!!!! I”M SO MAD AT WISE DIVA!!!! *GASP* WOOOW SHE GOT PERSONAL with the WTV MENTION!!! LMAO
March 31st, 2006 14:32
Comin’ outta lurk mode to add my two cents
I see a whole lotta talkin’ but it dont mean shit
Ive been chillin’ in the shadow, now its time to speak
Half the shit I read so far is dry and weak
How is this a rap battle, half the rhymes are the same
But “X” knew how to make it pop by callin’ my name
I guess its worth trying, my shit just cant be ignored
Bustin’ rhymes with the bloggers, you can tell that Im bored
Anywhoo, Im done spittin’, its over, Im thru
Got things I need to see, and people to do….
Peace (lol)
March 31st, 2006 14:38
I’m yawning and stretching
Trying not to snore
You still haven’t said shit
Damn, now you’re a bore?
It’s sad that you can’t take us on
One on One
Think you could man up
Or are you already done?
The bottom line is this
Yo shit’s not hot
You been hangin with Aruh
Ya rhymes smell like his piss
You already retiring
Heard VH1’s hiring
Flav needs new hoes
Oh No Brokeback nigga,
Didn’t meant to step on ya toes
March 31st, 2006 14:44
Ah shit, he done done it, now watch his stock plummet / I’m goin’ up to Boston and guess who I’m gonna have fun with / It’s Friday and I’ll up there the next night / and ain’t no delays with the plane, I got a direct flight / Bringin’ all my dawgs with me, 20 deep on the plane / Although in the air, we’re all thinkin’ bout running a train / Goin’ over to her crib and I got first dibs / Gone be some fuckin’ goin’ on…and you KNOW who the girl is…
March 31st, 2006 15:34
Wow…brought my girl up in it and even so far as talking about running a train…on my girl? Talk about stock and/or respect plummetting…damn. It’s my own fault with my whole anything goes statement. Well, you know my stance. One good disrespectful statement deserves a few more.
Monk I saw your momma yesterday on the block/
now she’s under my desk suckin, dog the bitch won’t stop/
she said this is how she used get down and handle your pops/
on top of the drop top after smoking some hot rocks/
on top of it all, she’d top it off with some cock shots/
from the neighborhood cops dropping by making some house stops/
speaking of stops you sure you don’t need me to phone help/
Boston, I think you were stuck in Durham on your way straight to Hell/
running trains well, i think you meant you raped girls/
it wasn’t Duke’s lacrosse team it was Monk and ‘em on the trail/
fuck you, i failed to mention that earlier, you’re a good teacher/
taught your sister how to suck dick so good, I need a preacher/
i need to stop right there, i’ll leave you with a pearl/
its true what they say that all bitches really ain’t girls
March 31st, 2006 16:02
ummm what in the blue hell! See..now I gotta go change outfits! Hmph.
*Bulletproof Diva zips up Dominatrix outfit, pics up whip, and saunters to the mic*
Is this nigga serious?
You wanna run trains?
Who the f*ck you talkin bout
That shit took no brains
You stepped over the line
Taking it there
I don’t even know his girl
She’s still a sista of mine
Yea, I got something to say
You just stepped in it
Ya bout to get cussed out
My name’s not Bennet
Nigga go take a class
Yo shit was fucked up at first
Now ya sound like an ass
I don’t which was worst
You wanna rape chicks?
That shit’s supposed to be hot?
Naw nigga, I think not
Ya betta pray you never know
How that train shit feels
Ya ass get bent over
We’ll see you in heels
*Drops Mic…picks up leather whip….rolls eyes at Monk*
March 31st, 2006 16:44
Don’t cry on me nigga, it’s all in fun that I diss you / Wipe your eyes, SOMEBODY PLEASE PASS THIS NIGGA A TISSUE!! / Don’t act like a bitch , you must be on your menstrual / And by the way, it ain’t rape if the shit is consenual / And she’s a bonafide pro, yes, a bonafide hoe / We gonna fuck the bitch well and you allllllllready know / And don’t worry no need to ask HER any questions / I’ll give you the details, blow for blow, Monday in your comment section
March 31st, 2006 23:59
Hold the f*ck up… is it ME??? When the f*ck did the rap battle turn into some foul shyt. Exactly why we can’t rise as a people… for real… all it takes is ONE, to turn some fun, lighthearted shyt into disrespectful nonsense that gets out of control…
*shaking head*
Monk, that was f*cked up… you did not have to take it there… and that’s not on some rap battle shyt, that’s for real.
No wonder why this is the first rap battle to lose momentum after 23 comments… we usually do over 100. *shaking head*
Monk, that was over the line, beyond disrespectful - and damn sure not in the spirit of how we roll.
Just my .08.
Karen
April 2nd, 2006 00:38
To Panama and all of the readers of JGT Enterprises, I sincerely, SINCERELY apologize for the comments I made towards Panama and his lady. When I typed the lyrics, I was in battle mode and didn’t think about the consequences of my words. It was very irresponsible of me. Very. Even though I feel ANYTHING goes in a rap battles, I realize there is a line that should be respected just out of decency. I went beyond that, and I apologize for casting a dark cloud over the rap battle.
Monk
April 3rd, 2006 03:05
:-\ I didn’t think it was all that serious, for some reason. *shrug*
April 30th, 2006 17:43
Hello there everyone my name is b. cosby
i’m the no. 1 son who always knows where the jobs be
so when i had a look over this ol pile a’ crop
i said i better start the dance wit my jello puddinn..
poppp this text ova to your box, make your childish minds tryan absort some dult thoughts
cause ifya look right above you’ll see some trite ass shit between some gangsta named ‘monk’ and some karen bitch.
the truth of the matter is that the whole things splatter and when the dish got served it was a playful platter
but now people got bored and did what they usually do=thats create some dull drama to make their skys shine blue
so heres the cosby message served wit a side of fries-take it straight from my jello tuck it behind yo eyes
you’re a buncha no goods who just wanna hate, why don’t ya SHUT THE FUCK UP n’ go back to channel 4
wait a sec! look ain’t that monk and some karen whore!?