[***EDIT (3/21/2006): I was going to post a new entry today, but an interesting comment popped up that seems to be great fodder for a knock-down drag out convo between men and women. Not sure if the comment was real in the first place since the last person who wrote as "A Us Citizen" was just calling me gay, but she did pose an interesting question. So venture to the comments and let the games begin. Ichiban bitches!***]

[***Today we're gonna start the week of topics provided by the masses. First up to bat, Barry Bonds!***]

Let’s see:

Swollen head: check!

Swollen body: check!

Ridiculously Increased Statistical Performance AFTER 35: check!

Personal Trainer supplies steroids to everybody: check!

Face it, Barry Bonds is guilty of doping up to increase his prominence amongst the tainted legends of baseball stars past.

And I, for one, don’t give a flying fuck.

It’s interesting how huge the discussion about Barry Bonds has become amongst baseball circles. He’s been guilty in the court of public opinion for years now, but if he keeps belting out homeruns on his quest for Babe Ruth’s historic 714, we’ll all still watch.

If I was Barry Bonds, when I hit number 715, I’d risk suspension and pissing off an entire nation by running the basepath with the middle finger salute up to everybody. The fact that sports reporters have clearly quit their day jobs to churn out books on the fact that Barry Bonds has used steroids speaks to the fact that, basically, folks really don’t have shit better to do with their time.

I read this on ESPN, but Barry Bonds really is like the new OJ Simpson to white people. He’s destroying America’s, increasingly colorless, pasttime. OJ went out and got him a white woman, and subsequently had her ass chop suey’d. Barry Bonds played baseball and subsequently shit all over it by taking its most beloved record, the home run record, and did it thru tainted means.

Hell, you’d think that Barry Bonds was a terrorist or something the way he’s being treated. If he wasn’t in danger of breaking Babe Ruth’s record, I don’t think he’d get THIS much hateration thrown at him. Well, that and the fact that he’s a total jackass to the press. But hell, he’s been that way since day one right?

Much like every other black person in America, I can’t help but notice how much of a free pass Mark McGwire, the All-American white boy has gotten in this entire debacle. The steroids he was publicly using were banned a few years after he broke the then home run record set by Roger Maris at 71. I don’t understand for the life of me how that muhfucka gets NO burn nowadays as having tainted the legacy of baseball. Nope…just Bonds. Major league baseball players have been using steroids and destroying the sanctity of the game for years.

So have track stars.

Football players.

Weight lifters.

Old people.

Oh, my bad, that’s marijuana which destroys the American home by having high kids run over a girl on a bicycle who is strangely riding on a busy street in front of a fast food restaurant drive thru without a parent in sight. Hell, she might have gotten hit regardless.

You know who I feel bad for in this whole steroid scandal? Jose Canseco.

That damn Jose “El Cubano” Conseco has been TRYING to get the press that Bonds receives daily. And yet, all the notoriety goes to Bonds. Conseco tried to singlehandedly bring down Major League Baseball with a book called “Juiced” detailing all of the steroid-based knowledge he could muster.

He admitted it.

He released his book and got his day in the sun.

Bonds hasn’t admitted to shit.

And we can’t stop talking about him.

Poor Jose. He even tried to holler at Christina Milian and she rejected him. His esteem must be fucked right about now.

I’ll bet Barry would love to share the spotlight with Jose a little more.

This whole steroid-Bonds bullshit speaks to America’s and the people-whp-can’ts desire to have things done our way. Barry isn’t a media darling, so we don’t want him to be the asshole who passes the Babe’s record. White people love Babe Ruth and hold him up as this paragon of athleticisim and value.

However, only black people really seem to be ones talking about the fact that had he been playing in an era where black pitchers were allowed to challenge him, he might not have been the same player. He might have, but we’ll never know.

America doesn’t want Bonds to break the record because he didn’t do it the right way. Hell, what does that even mean anymore? Who ISN’T taking some kind of supplement in sports? Everybody’s looking for an edge. I say let the steroids ride. If grown ass men want to kill themselves at 50, let them. It’s their choice.

Barry Bonds legacy might be at stake here as far as Hall of Fame voters go, but for my money, I say fuck ‘em. Crush Babe’s record. That way the legacy will be talked about forever. If he doesn’t make it into the Hall of Fame, they’ll HAVE to talk about you forever. Same way they do it with Pete Rose. Pete Rose is as central a figure to baseball nowadays as he was in his heyday. We HAVE to bring his name up every year.

Same thing with Barry Bonds. If he doesn’t get in, it will be a travesty; if he does (I think I used a semi-colon right for the first time EVER), he deserves it but it isn’t the “right” way.

Fuck ‘em all Barry.

Do just like you have been doing. Every homerun you hit will be a gigantic fuck you to baseball, America, and the people who are upset about OJ Simpson’s not guilty verdict…

…as long as you don’t kill your white wife too.

Good night and good luck!