Good morning.

Today…is a good day. Not unlike yesterday. Or tomorrow. In fact, tomorrow will bring a better you, a better me.

However, it is so hard to say goodbye, to yesterday.

Yes, today, Panama has absolutely nothing to talk about…but everything to say.

I am an enigma.

I am also sexxy.

Love me. Love me, say that you love me.

I have a confession to make. I’ve gone and done it. Yeah, the big “it”. I’ve been avoiding it like the plague because I was afraid if I did it, it would open me up to ridicule from the masses of people who believe in me. Hell, I was afraid to disappoint myself.

Somebody…hold me.

Don’t you love how just uber-random this shit is? It’s gonna be like this the whole way through. You should keep reading though, this gets interesting in a soap opera kind of way by the time we get to the end…trust me.

If The Champ over at The Royal Youngs is a lemming (I think that’s what he said), then I’m an Alaskan anteater following little dark dots around aimlessly hoping for it not to be pepper, but for it to be the key to success and more like sprinkles.

No, I didn’t go to Starbucks or watch more BET.

I joined…

…MySpace. At the prodding of one of my compadres, I was convinced to join the newest low-income housing development in the e-streets. It’s just past Al Gore Blvd. and right next to Web Circle. I have built my home at…

… www.myspace.com/panamadjackson.

*hanging head in shame*

Honestly, this shit is quite addictive. There are just so many people on there I don’t even know where to begin looking…or hell, what I’m even looking for.

Well, what the hell are you waiting for (after me there shall be no more)?

Alright, now let’s get down to business bitches, cuz it seems that y’all just keep on trying to diss this nigga that you know that’s been down for years….

1) I watched Black.White. again last night. My hatred for the white couple is lessoning but my hatred for Carmen (the black wife) has increased hundredfold. She just annoys the flying squirrel shit out of me. I might discuss this more in a later post because the black folks are really turning me into fans of the white family. And the white girl telling the black folks that she was white took some major cajones and I’m somewhat inclined to think that she must have also told them they were on a television show because she made it back to Santa Monica from Crenshaw unscathed. It’s like she infiltrated a Black Panther base or something. Interestingly enough, it made me respect her more. And yes her mother is very naive and definitely needs to take a class or two on sensitivity training, but Carmen blew that bitch thing WAY overboard. Fuck her.

2) I hate Jade on America’s Next Top Model with the passion of 10,000 gila monsters and a gecko from Geico. And a partridge and a pear tree. We have also just seen the manifestation of the Black-Girl-Got-Hair-Now-So-She-Think-She-Fly Syndrome in Furonda who not only couldn’t stop looking at herself, but also somehow managed to increase her confidence greatly. And I must agree with Nigel, she does look like E.T. with hair…at all times.

Now for the coup de grace…

My people, my people…somebody has stolen some of my shit…AGAIN!!! AND had the nerve to be SLOPPY about it…AGAIN.

I really need to hold a seminar on how to be a better criminal, I swear I do.

If you are indeed a woman and you jack a man’s post, make sure that he does not refer to himself as a “man/dude/soul brother #2″ in a jacked work. It will bode badly for you. And apparently shit that makes into the net has some serious legs, much like Amerie in the “1 Thing” video or Tina Turner on her amazing Ike-Can’t-Beat-Me-Now Tour AKA What’s Love Got To Do With It.

I was emailed this morning by somebody who noticed the post I’d written about being on a flight with Dem Franchize Boyz being used by someone else as if it was their own story. El dumbass even said that she had just gotten off the flight three hours ago.

*chuckle*

Dumbass.

Allow me to link you to said transgression against King Panama by one Prada1.

Prada1, come on down!!!!!!!!

*Price Is Right music playing rapidly in the background while the ignant jackster runs boobs-a-floppin to the front stage*

It can be found on a message board on some site called Lipstick Alley.

Feel free to go there and check out the similarities. Also notice how I mention that I’m “not a first class dude” and somebody asks her if she is a guy to which she responds, “no she is not”.

Once more, people people people, if you are going to jack somebody’s shit…PLEASE CLEAN IT UP!!!!! For the love of all things fuscia…read the shit and clean it up!!!

Also, notice that the person who called her out, mentioned the once bloggadocious Kajuana (R.I.P.). She really was famous!

Either way, the sloppy stealing needs to cease, for real. I’m not even offended at being jacked.

I’m Panama Muhfuckin’, it’s going to happen.

What does offend me is the uber-bitchmade sloppiness with which it happens. You think I’m so small time that my work won’t even get noticed.

And that’s what hurts. Why don’t nobody love me?

I do have fans!! Fucker!!!

Those are jokes people…I’m not THAT stuck on myself. Today.

Either way, to the person who outted her, thank you and thanks for the email.

To Prada1, step your game up gangsta, you SUCK right now.

Finally, one of my boys gave me a suggestion that I think I will run with. This will either bite me in the ass, be ridiculously fun, or prove that nobody really does give a shit about the Once And Former King Panama.

So, I’d like to ask for suggested blog topics. All next week, I will post every day with one of the suggested topics that are presented. If I get an abundance of possible topics, I will keep it going for a while. If I get no topic suggestions, I will light myself on fire with a rusty barnacle and Betty Boop, pout, then take a 2 day vacation in South Central. I welcome any and all suggestions, be they funny or serious or just outrageously stupid. No topic is off-limits. Just place them in the comments and I’ll do the rest.

To recap:

1) Check out my MySpace page: www.myspace.com/panamadjackson

2) Check out the LipStick Alley Jack-Ass.

3) Offer up some blog topics…please.

“…I’m writing to show you what we fightin’ for…” - Talib Kweli, “The Blast”