Bitch, I Got An Oscar
(Most Known Unknowns no longer…now white people know who you are.)
“Crunchy Black has an Oscar. We have to prepare ourselves for the fact that the world may be coming to an end.” ~ semi-incorrect words (Cruncy Black actually isn’t one of the authors or producers of the song…hence he didn’t really win shit…but the sentiment is still right) uttered by my boy The Great, shortly after Queen Latifah announced to the world that members of Three 6 Mafia won the oscar for Best Original Song.
And I couldn’t be happier. Well aside from the potential end of the world, but I had a good run.
Seriously.
Admittedly, I’m black.
Yes I know. Shocking. What that means is that much like every other black person that can read or even knows who Truman Capote was, I was a tad nervous as to what the Three 6 Mafia was going to bring to the stage last night. Nervous might not be the right word.
Terrified might be more appropos.
Honestly, I hid under my couch while they were performing. Okay, that was dumb. I don’t have a couch. I have a futon.
But lo and behold, Three 6 gave us the absolute whitest rendition of that song they could give, complete with white interpretive dancers and…fuck it, they gave us interpretive dancers period. There was actual choreography (and they thanked the choreographer on stage…who saw THAT coming?) to give the song somewhat of a more finessed feel. And it worked. I’m as amazed as anybody else, but it worked. It was a good performance. Very white (mainstream), but good.
After it was over…I made sure to look out my window to see if time had magically reverted back to the mid-1800’s. Apparently, they DID NOT set us back.
Even Taraji Henson was lovely, if not a smidge out of place in her Oscar gown. I love her. She’s so ‘hood it’s ridiculous.
To cap off the toned down performance, Taraji Henson ended the song with a run that I couldn’t find on my Hustle & Flow soundtrack for shit. I listened over and over again and it just wasn’t there. Yes, I own it. And love it.
Basically, they did what anybody put in their position would do. They made you focus on the actual song as opposed to the people delivering it.
Which is the EXACT opposite of what a good 99% of us expected.
We ain’t shit.
A damn shame how sometimes we forget that though some of these rappers seem to exude ghetto-ocity in everything they do, they are ultimately smart people who have made moves and shakes to be successful at their chosen field. We don’t give them much credit apparently. And we can argue about their business acumen later, but you will be wrong.
However, as surprised as I was at the performance, NOTHING prepared me for the fact that they would actually win the Oscar for Best Original Song…against Dolly “My Boobs Are Too Big To Box With God” Parton.
And once again, I couldn’t be happier.
Since they are black, out of nowhere, we got the obligatory…”thank you Jesus.”
Good times.
But back to the surprise of them winning. You know, I know a lot of black folks who have disdain for the movie and further couldn’t care less about no damn “It’s Hard Out Here For A Pimp” song. Me, I love the song. I’ll be the first to tell you.
I’m a fan of Three 6 Mafia. I’m not saying that they are the best rappers out there, but I’ll be damned if they can’t put together a good album. And who wasn’t bumping “Stay Fly (High)” since last summer? But many a nigra was downright offended by the Oscar’s choice of that song. Not even realizing how good the song was IN RELATION TO THE MOVIE. It fit the movie to a “T”…which is the POINT.
[***Sidenote: What the fuck does that saying "to a T" mean anyway? Is it because the the horizontal line sits right up there perfectly balanced in the actual formation of the "T"? And does it matter if its lowercase? Also, does that take into account the use of nails and other hardware in today's societ? Inquiring minds would like to know. ***]
We fell into the old, “well see we only get nominated for shit like that…” Yada yada yada. And since there were so many people who either hated or loved the movie, black people that is, had we been voting, it wouldn’t have won.
Thank God for white people. Oh, and the Academy… who are the ones who voted for that song to win. Oh right, I had the Academy covered by saying white people. Let Halle, Denzel, and Jamie Foxx in and I done plum forgot that that’s only 4.
Speaking of which, somebody needs to get Denzel’s vote card…STAT. I wonder which song he voted for? Because you KNOW Jamie Foxx voted for “…Pimp” to win. Did you see how happy he was??? I myself just laughed for a good 5 minutes. In glee bitches, in glee.
Hell, now I’m waiting for them to drop their next album featuring the lead-single, club banger, “Bitch I Got An Oscar”. I think it would go something like this:
“they hatin’ on us but we did it/so fuck all them hatin’ violatin’ ass bitches/you bitch nigga’s sittin at home had to watch us/cuz I’m Juicy J and Bitch I got an Oscar”
Speaking of which…on the song “Stay Fly (High)”, Juicy J quips: “I ain’t Denzel, but I know I’m a star”. Well, now you and Denzel have both been recognized by the Academy. You both have Oscars. What are the odds of seeing a collabo between Jamie Foxx, Denzel, and Three 6 Mafia doing a song called “Oscar Nigga!”
There’s so much potential out there now.
Also, what are the odds on Kanye deciding that he wants an Oscar now too. He is doing the song for “Mission Impossible 3.” Will we have to hear him bitch and moan if he doesn’t win next year? Probably…but fuck him today, because Three 6 Mafia is on top of the world.
As much as we want to hate on them, those niggas got themselves an Oscar. In the famous words of Jon Stewart:
“Martin Scorcese zero Oscar’s, Three 6 Mafia…one!”
Collar’s were popped, clubs were torn up, spinners were rode, two-ways were exchanged with freaks, and sizzurp was sipped.
And George Clooney got bigged up.
“You leave you’re Oscar ’round me, bitch you’re Oscar gonna get snatched up…”
Good damn job.
March 6th, 2006 10:37
*I KNEW you were going to write about this, glad I checked in to see…*
Good post, Panama.
Surprise, surprise…I’m actually GLAD they won. I thought their song embodied “Best Orginal Song” for a movie. Like, has there ever been a more appropriate song for a movie? And beyond that, I actually enjoyed the movie…even saw it the first day it came out. (GASP!) I didn’t think it was great, but very good, maybe a B- or C+.
But I don’t know about the performance, I’m so-so on that. I’ve heard some think it was sooo embarrassing and then of course, you and your praise of it…I just don’t know. I will say I would have preferred they didn’t perform it, yes “perception” matters to me (call me crazy), and I know for a fact many of “them” think “we’re” quite “coonish.” (And “them” aren’t all White either.) So yeah, I would have preferred we presented a more polished image, but I’m not blind…I see the changing of the guard, the gap in cultures and generations. Times are a-changin, for sure.
I just hope when it’s all said and done that groups like Three Six Mafia (who I actually think are quite talented in their own way) are more a minority than a majority.
Just my opinion…
P.S. Sorry so long a comment…
Have a good Monday!
March 6th, 2006 10:46
I had a tear of joy roll down my cheek when they won.
March 6th, 2006 11:04
Thanks Panama! Alot of people are complaining and bitching, honestly did they expect them to get up there and rap in a british accent? That’s just them. That is their style. I don’t understand why so many people were embarrassed.
March 6th, 2006 11:24
“After it was over…I made sure to look out my window to see if time had magically reverted back to the mid-1800’s. Apparently, they DID NOT set us back.”
after getting on aim and seeing a couple message boards last night, i felt compelled to look out of my window for any signs of backwards time-travel as well, and i couldnt find any, at least not in pittsburgh…unless you want to count the boss jeans some cats are still prone to rock
March 6th, 2006 11:40
I actually got the oh-my-gawd-girl-are-you-watching-the-Oscars-3-6-mafia-’nem-done-won phone call last night. To which I promply responded with *yawn*! I do however, wish I’d seen the performance. And don’t go tryna talk bad about that girl. She went to Howard ya know? Don’t knwo if she graduated but she, AND RICKY BELL (yes, he’sin a yearbook) went to Howard.
March 6th, 2006 12:05
I was sooo waiting for you to comment about this. I have to admit, I didnt like the movie however, i do like the song “Whup that trick” waaaaay better.
And im also glad to hear they didnt set us back 4,335 years like our friend “Flavooooooorrrr Flavvvv”.
March 6th, 2006 12:16
I’m just going to straight out bitch & complain… Three 6 Mafia winning an Oscar for THAT song was an ATROCITY!!! It’s a song from a movie with black characters that was PRODUCED BY A WHITE MAN!! If John Singleton or somebody had produced that movie a white person would not care less about a damn song off the soundtrack. Damn it!! I am heated about this shit. Why are we celebrating their win when the joke is on us? Arrgh!!
March 6th, 2006 12:33
and for those that missed last nights performance, please paste this into your browser.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtIOHw80dFg&search=oscars%202006
March 6th, 2006 12:43
@TAP Hostess: I ain’t talking bad about Taraji Henson…and I know she went to Howard. But she is quite-very ghetto. In every role she’s in, she sounds the same. And I love it. She makes me smile.
@Mia: It wasn’t exactly a song off the soundtrack, it was a central song to the movie. Hell, the entire song was a scene in the movie. As far as original songs go, I’m with T (amazing as THAT is…luv ya T), there is no more appropriate song. And does it make you feel better than the movie was actually produced by Craig Brewer, John Singleton, and Stephani Allain (a black woman)? Just b/c he didn’t direct it, doesnt mean he wasn’t instrumental in making it.
@Creem: thanks for the linke…
@dyoung: folks still rock BOSS jeans in Pittsburgh??? wow.
@patrice: i’m with you…black folks were just being ashamed of black folks. that’s all it comes down too. still worried about what white people will think of us. bottom. line.
March 6th, 2006 12:53
You know I have not been reading blogs for a minute but I came today because I KNEW you would write a blog about this!!!! My mouth dropped last night when they won this award! It seems as if the Oscars likes to award coonery. Since the first time a black person was awarded for acting as a slave who WANTED to remain in servitude. I thought it would get better after last year but apparently I was wrong. Such a shame……….
March 6th, 2006 13:12
You are the 5th horseman of the apocalypse. Your going-to-hell FICO score has just risen to 666.
March 6th, 2006 13:30
I was DAMN happy they won, even though I hate the song. And I don’t hate it for any “preachy reasons” I just thought it was mediocre and not even worth of a nomination let alone the statue himself. LOL But good for them, and did you not love Latifah’s reaction when she read the card? ROFLMAO That’s my girl.
I didn’t think their performance was “white” they kept with the theme of the song… like you said kept with the theme of the movie - and was the point. They had ho’s and pimps and danced out a struggle. LOL That interpretive dance was clearly because the lyrics were inaudible and indiscernable to the white ear… so we must add visuals to accompany the only intelligible part of the song - the chorus. Then even though one can’t understand the words, he/she gets the idea. LOL
And when they do the remix, called Oscar Bitch, they need to have Halle on a track saying, “makes me feel gooood,” LOL spliced with sound bytes of Hattie so they can do a duet for the video ala Natalie and Nat King Cole. lol
March 6th, 2006 13:55
I can assure you that I’ve never once in my entire life been called the 5th Horseman of the Apocalypse.
I don’t know whether to throw them ‘bows or pray.
March 6th, 2006 15:30
RE: Mia’s post.
FYI Mia. Hustle and Flow wouldn’t have gotten made without John Singleton. Quit hattin.
It’s just a damn song it’s not like they performed in black face and ate watermelon on the damn show.
March 6th, 2006 16:02
uhhhh I was secretly thrilled that they won and also a little disapointed.
I’m also a little disapointed that Jake “why can’t I just quit you” Glynellal didn’t win an Oscar.
March 6th, 2006 16:49
All I know is that the Willie Hutch sample and EIGHTBALL AND MJG won the Oscar for Stay Fly, in the same vein that Bun B made the Sizzurp shyt bangin. But big ups to 3-6 for knowing that bangin beats and the right guest stars makes for mass appeal.
It seems like only yesterday they were “tearin da club up” w/ Gangsta Boo.
*tear rolling down cheek*
Oh how our babies have grown!
March 6th, 2006 16:52
Whoops…didn’t mean to say Oscar with the Stay Fly comment…
Two trains of thought collided in my peanut head…
March 6th, 2006 16:53
I’m overjoyed that they won! It’s a HUGE step for HipHop and I think the hate that folks have thrown upon them is a reflection of a larger issue that the Black community has. WE ALWAAAYS GOTTA BRING EACH OTHER DOWN! Damn shame…
I’m also glad that Crash won…hell, that’s the ONLY movie I saw of those nominated for best picture.
March 6th, 2006 17:38
P.S. Kudos to you to Panama for acknowledging the fact that so many overlook the fact that SOOO many rappers (most with no skillz) STILL has a great sense of ‘hustle’ to make it to the point where they are today. We DON’T give them enough credit. They are following their dreams (hell, LIVING their dreams) while so many others are dreading going to their 9 to 5 tomorrow. It takes a lot to get where these artists/rappers are. Period. It’s not as easy as it looks on TV.
Thanks again for acknowledging that.
March 6th, 2006 20:33
@ Dr.StrangeJazz
They might as well have worn a black face and danced a jig because they represented us like some clowns. I have nothing against Three 6 but I don’t agree with the shit black folks have been winning Oscars for. I swear it’s like white folks are patronizing us.
And John Singleton did direct the movie but the only reason why the movie existed is because the white producer couldn’t get any of his other movies to sell (about his poor background) so he turned to a group of people he knew he could profit off of (black folks) by making a movie about a damn black pimp. Watch the trailers on the DVD. I was less than impressed by that dude’s tactics.
March 6th, 2006 23:18
Gotdamn Mia. READ: JOHN SINGLETON PRODUCED THE FILM. He DID NOT direct it!!! PRODUCED! As in, put his cash on the table. As in PAID FOR IT to be made. IMDb is yo muthafuckin friend: http://imdb.com/title/tt0410097/fullcredits
Now, if you had beef about the writer, that’s another story.
Niggas.
That is all….
March 7th, 2006 10:19
Now, why I got to always have the site where niggas never play nice?!?!!??
March 7th, 2006 11:10
lol. I am playin nice. I was nice the first time I didn’t comment on the misinformed.
March 7th, 2006 11:22
Katalina, I ain’t come in here to start shit but I see that y’all are all in favor of support a movie WRITTEN by a white man. I didn’t go to your site linked, I watched the extras on the DVD and heard from the horse’s mouth. Yeah John Singleton was pimped by a white dude. And I was feelin the movie until I saw who wrote it. And I’m not feelin the fact the black folks seem to always get recognition from white folks when it comes to portraying stereotypes. You know what, I hardly come to this blog because obviously the blacks who frequent here are uppity and too blind to realize shit. Y’all do you, and I’ll do me… no offense Panama
March 7th, 2006 12:01
@Mia: I chose to be offended. You’re indirectly calling me uppity and saying I’m all about the recognition since the white man gave it to us. So…thanks and you can call me Ray.
Now let’s get to the crux of what you’re talking about. How was John Singleton pimped? He had to read the script in order to want to put money up for it. Yes, a white man wrote it…and I can understand how that can be troubling. But how do you go from liking it until you found that out? Is it still not the same movie? All of a sudden it’s a white man mocking black folks?
And if so, what does that say about all the actors who signed on for it? I’m sure they were aware that it was written by Craig Brewer. And fuck, why would it be OKAY for a black man to write it? How much sense does that make? If it’s a problem, it’s a problem no matter who wrote it. If John Singleton wrote it…would it be considered social commentary? A pimp is struggling to find his place in the world of North Memphis…come witness his struggles in life. So that’s okay as long as a black person writes it? It’s the same story isn’t it?
Do we get recognition when we portray stereotypes? It would seem so…but somebody needs to figure out why in the shit we do such a GOOD job at portraying those stereotypes. You think the Academy was like…look a pimpin’ nigger…NOMINATE HIM!!! No…Terrence Howard did a damn good job as the confounded pimp.
Had he won, should he have said, “no, i can’t accept this award because you all only looked at me being a pimp”?
I’m sorry you feel like everybody who comes here (black folks anyway) is uppity and too blind to realize shit, but that would include me. The song got recognized because in the context of the movie it was great. Terrance Howard got nominated cuz he made one helluva pimp.
Maybe I am just blind. Or too dumb to realize how I’m being pimped by white folks. But me and my other dumb nigga homies got another Oscar. And I’m happy about it. Ignorance is bliss, remember.
March 7th, 2006 22:55
Amen, bruva. It just annoys me when mofos ain’t doin nuthin but talkin out the side of her misinformed mouth, makin a mess. Get your facts straight, then we can talk. If you can’t get the bare essentials correct for your arguement, nobody is trynna hear anything else.
Personally, I think i did have an issue with a white man writing the film…kinda like how people had issues with Spielberg directing the Color Purple. I suppose it all depends on what lense you look through. From an artistic and creative point of view, I don’t have a problem with Brewer and his directing and writing of the film. It’s nicely done, and the story is more mid-life crisis driven than it is pimp driven. It’s a solid story. But if you want to look at it politically and barebones, it’s suspect. I see both sides of the coin…but all this extraneous “pimpin of John Singleton” is bullshit.
March 8th, 2006 10:07
I just want to say that I too was nervous for both their performance and when they won. I was proud to be a Black American but nervous as to how my fellow Black American’s were going to act. The whole thing was hilarious to say the least. And Jon Stewart was right…they were the most excited people there. In my opinion, they made the show.