[***ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: This is actually pretty short by Panama standards. Don't worry...no need to skim today!!! I'm sexxy. And I've been working my buns of steel off lately. I'm back like velcro and Hammer-pants. Isn't it just arrogant to tell people you're back, which assumes they were missing you? Aren't I so so sexxy? Go visit Tom's Diner and drink a Mimosa. ***]

“With great power comes great responsibility.” ~ Uncle Ben, Spiderman: The Movie

And before him, some especially insightful fellow/fellowess who probably died penniless but who’d be happy to know that some 100’s of years later, their words would help others.

I’ve been jostling back and forth with a particular notion lately. It’s one that has affected everybody at least once at some point in their lives.

Hmm…I like the word jostle. It’s up there with the word supple and splackadocious as words that don’t get used enough but should be used whenever possible. In fact, I charge everybody to find a way to use the word “supple” in a conversation today. Ten points if you can do it and the person you are bequeathing doesn’t think you’re a perve.

On to the next one…

So, this idea for which jostlage has occured is the idea of responsibility. Moreso…responsibility when it comes to other people’s feelings and emotions in the context of a relationship. The only way to get straight to the heart (no one could…ever doubt…my loooooooooooove) of what I’m discussing is to lay out an example. I shall sacrificially lambsterfy myself for this (actually I won’t…this is a very general discussion here). Watch closely.

And for the record, Dick and Jane are soooooo passe.

Guatemala (my cousin) meets young lady. Let’s call her Bashley. Guatemala meets Bashley. The begin a courtship of sorts. There is no discussion of a commitment or anything, yet their actions and dates signify (like a monkey) that they might could be heading somewhere…together. However, it is clear that Guatemala’s feelings for Bashley are far more intense than Bashley’s feelings for Guatemala. Guatemala, in his love-induced stupor, maintains doing the things he would to show her he cares, and Bashley is accepting and even encouraging of such behavior. Unbeknownst to him, Bashley is dating other people, etc. Guatemala finds this out, asks her what’s going on between them and if they are headed anywhere to which Bashley indicates that, currently, she doesn’t want more, nor can she give more…and had Guatemala not been stuck in a love-induced stupor, he might realize he wasn’t getting much in the first place. However, she still wants to continue seeing Guatemala because she loves the time they spend and the attention he adorns upon her. He is devastated and jumps out of the second story window of his basement apartment and breaks his toe. The end.

Yes, I’m aware that was long and probably could have been shortened. But are you aware that in the time it took you to read that last paragraph, somebody’s car was stolen in this country?! Don’t be a statistic. Get insurance.

The more you know.

*ding*

Now, I know that in all truthfulness here, Guatemala’s predicament is largely his own making. Potentially he didn’t see the signs and was so caught up in his own romantic thoughts of a future with Bashley, that he was just blind to the facts being laid out before him. However, Bashley was encouraging of him to fall into this stupor. It was one of appreciation for her and adoration and other words that begin with the letter “a” that mean good stuff. She didn’t want to lose that so she might not have been 100 percent forthcoming with information and simultaneously encouraging of him to essentially, fall in love with her.

This all begs the age old question, how responsible should Bashley be for Guatemala’s feelings in this matter? You see, as people, self-interest is our taste du jour. We are, at our core, the most self-interested, agenda-toting, personal pleasure concerned, bastards on the planet. I know everybody wants to think that they are great people and their heart bleeds benevolence, but in all honesty, even in our most generous of moments, there is a hint of self-appreciation in it. Which is why people want credit for the things that they do. It is human nature and there is nothing wrong with that. So maybe it is non-sensical to think that anybody should bear the burden of considering another person’s feelings in their own dealings.

But…

…if you are aware that one person is head over heels in love with you and you do not feel the same way, should you consider the other person’s feelings and just cut them off? Yes they enjoy doing things for you and being there for you, but it’s all done in hopes that one day you will see the light and decide that you want to be with them.

Hmm…it’s a damn shame that this person is hoping that you’ll deem them good enough. But that’s another talk show.

Though they do things for you to make you feel good with the best of intentions, they want something from you. And something that you more than likely do not want to give them. Yet you keep them around because they make you feel special. Is that fair? I can see both sides on this one. If you aren’t responsible for other people’s feelings, then why should you cut them off. Hopefully, they’ll figure it out at some point that they aren’t going to get very far. But what about the hopeless bastard on the non-receiving end who is hopelessly and haplessly waiting around for the day you decide to be with them, exclusively?

It’s really a double-edged sword. In orer to consider other people’s feelings, you have to look past your own innate self-interest. Which is admirable. At the same time, being the you that you are, as long as no (visible) harm is being done, why ruin a good thing? He’s happy and you’re happy (or she’s happy, yada yada yada), what’s the loss?? Aside from the future hurt that might come, is there any downside? And if you’ve been honest at some point, isn’t it more or less, his fault if he gets hurt?

Should we make decisions for other people if we know they are leading themselves down the path into BET and ultimately into their own self-destruction?

Where do you draw the line and what are we really responsible for when it comes to affairs of the heart? I wish I knew, so I’m asking the question.

Inquiring minds would like to know…