I’m getting my Jay-Z on today and jacking the worldwide leader in sports columnist DJ Gallo (who ironically jacked that idea from some other ESPN columnist…or maybe a Sports Illustrated columnist…not that there’s anything wrong with that).

Every Friday he writes a column where he lays out 10 things that crossed his mind, sports related (I won’t be sports related), while doing some inane task like sharpening a pencil or staring at Jessica Simpson’s potentially airbrushed derriere. And you know what? Her boots are made for walking.

God bless America.

Also, have you noticed how long my entry titles are getting lately?

I’m sexxy. Anyway, let’s get to the list of things I think I thought while driving down Michigan Avenue (NE for those of you in DC who will wonder which part of Michigan Avenue I was on).

1. I think Lionel Richie was a pimp of magnanimous proportions. I have no actual proof of this, but due to the anti-modern day rap commenter T.’s assertion that that Lionel Richie and ‘nem made much more quality music, I decided to break out a Commodores CD. At the beginning of “Just To Be Close To You”, a young Lionel is talking to some woman for a good minute and a half before they actually start singing, and I’ll be damned if he didn’t sound like he had his rap down tight. I’m not saying he was a good pimp, but he definitely had the makings. Also, he (with he being Lionel) can’t sing. Thank you.

2. If he was still alive, B.I.G.G.I.E. AKA B.I.G. (get it?) would absolutely go down as the greatest rapper of all time, supplanting, if not removing altogether, any claims that Jay Z has made to the throne. I’m a Jay-Z fan, hands down. In fact, I’m such a Jay fan I don’t even like Nas’ “Ether” that much. However, I think Biggie was better. I was listening to songs like “Unbelievable” and “Kick In The Door” (a song which would never have happened if Puffy had his way) and I’m just amazed at what he pulled off. Biggie was the man.

[***DISCLAIMER: For the folks out there who can't read, I didn't say that Biggie was the greatest of all time. I said he WOULD have been. Two albums is not enough to give him the crown...and I know it isn't his fault. If you ask me, I'll say Jay. However, I can call Master P the ungreatest of all time. Thank you. ***]

3. I was reading Allhiphop.com last week and Benzino was interviewed about he and Dave Mays recent removal from The Source Magazine (though apparently they are still the majority owners, I have no idea how that happens…I count for a living) and I realized that Benzino gives the worst interviews ever. He absolutely answers no questions nor does he say anything really worth listening too. He also seems quite delusional in his rap skills and in the belief that anybody is actually a fan of his. I think Benzino might be the one black rapper in America without even a white fan.

4. Apparently I’ve been lying to myself for many years. You see, I’m a mixed kid, and one without many issues. However, that is because I’ve been living the life as a “black” dude. I’ve been doing a disservice to mixed people nationwide (maybe even worldwide) by “chosing” to be black. This fact was illuminated to me when I stumbled upon the mixed kid support/media site, Mixed Media Watch. This is a fascinating site developed by two mixed women (I think…that it’s developed by two women, I know they’re mixed), who make it their purpose to discuss issues relating to mixed race people, and race in general in sometimes quit interesting and thought provoking ways. I guffaw at much of it, but maybe, by not running around espousing my pride at being mixed, I’m denying myself to…myself. I will be writing more about this at a later time because I have A LOT to say.

By the way, I really don’t think I’m denying who I am…at all. That was sarcasm and that site makes me feel better for being who I am.

5. Best Buy is poison. That at the CD Depot on Baltimore Avenue in College Park, Maryland. It is literally impossible for me to go into either of those stores with ONE thing in mind to purchase and not walk out 100 dollars lighter. In fact, I actually have to bar myself from going to these stores. You ever put a moratorium on yourself to not go somewhere? For instance, yesterday I went to Best Buy to buy some blank CD’s. I even walked straight to the blank CD section. I left with a Playstation 2 game, a Lynyrd Skynyrd CD and a Simply Red CD that I didn’t have. And I won’t even tell you what happens when I go to Quizno’s.

6. Al Sharpton is a black man without a purpose in life. I seriously believe that. Despite being on a talk show on TVOne gearted towards speaking on issues in a barbershop while NEVER getting one himself, he also manages to find time to just rail on shit for the sake of it. So goes his recent issues with everybody’s favorite piss’emoffer, Aaron McGruder, who caught flak from Sharpton (and I suppose the Black Crusaders who got Chappelle’s Show taken off the air…how many of you actually believed that Chappelle’s Show Theory shit?) about his MLK episode of The Boondocks. I swear, black people need to wake up. You say ANYTHING that even seems like it might cast a deified black person in a negative light (even if it isn’t negative AT ALL)(or even if you say anything negative about black people in a national forum), and somebody will jump on your back. I’ll listen to him when he gets rid of the perm. And find’s a job.

When’s the last time you saw two parenthetical statements back to back? Really…

7. I’d also like to add to that last statement that I often find it funny that in the black community, it is damn near offlimiits to say anything negative about black people when white people might hear it. And that is utter bullshit. I understand about not airing your dirty laundry, but it isn’t like it gets washed by black people during NAACP meetings, or Congressional Black Caucus conferences. I’ve been to both and there was no agenda to fix our problems. I guess somebody needs to put muhfucka’s on blast to get ANYBODY to even speak on the fact that some things in the black community are fucked and we have to fix it ourselves. We also need MacGuyver. And some duct tape.

8. D4L (the Laffy Taffy niggas) have a new video on MTV Jams, and it is downright the WORST fuckin’ song in history. The beat is rifuckin’diculously bad and sounds like somebody was randomly hitting nots on a keyboard and said, that’s hot. It barely even has a beat. It has now moved into first place, nudging Bone Thugs-N-Harmony featuring Phil Collin’s craptasticfestivus “Home” as the worst rap song ever created. And yes, this includes everything from Mase’s Double Up and Welcome Back albums. Where is Bush when you REALLY need him? He’s over there taking out Iraq and we have D4L here. Something is amiss in Washington.

9. Ice Cube used to be the scariest black man in America. NWA made music where they murdered millions, but Cube was speaking political stuff and for some reason, you believed he could move the masses into some sort of revolutionary thinking. However, he has a new album coming out with a lead single called “Child Support”. *sigh* It’s so horrible I can’t even think of any other adjectives to describe it. The beat is horrendously uberfucktastic and Cube rapping sounds like dogs fucking. Why won’t he just stop?

Umm…I love Los Angeles.

10. I know how folks from Brooklyn feel outside of New York when somebody yells “Is Brooklyn in the house?”. I was in a club in New York this weekend, and the DJ played a string of southern songs and I lost my mind. But when he played Big Boi’s “I Be On It (Kryptonite)”, it was a rap. There wasn’t a single person in that club who didn’t know what I was holding down. Folks actually stopped to look at me.

And I loved it.

You can find me in the A…A…A…A…

By the way, I’m a 26 year old educated black man. Thank you.

RIP Coretta Scott-King.