Random Thoughts On A Monday Morning While Wishing I Was Drinking A Long Island Iced Tea

Revelations.

Revelations and realizations.

Revelations, realizations, and Roll Bounce.

That’s what I’ve had over the past few days. Allow me to share.

-Kobe Bryant scored 81 points on Sunday night in a game against the Toronto Raptors…and his TEAM only scored 122. What the shit was everybody doing? Giving him the ball and letting him do what he felt? Oh yeah, it’s the Lakers…yes, they were just watching him the whole night. And where in the shit was the defense? After point 60 did they just give up or was there a Toronto/Laker pact to just see how many he could score? Ray Allen goes for 42 and his team scores 152. I don’t care how great Kobe is (which he is pretty damn great) or who they are, the Laker’s as a team suck ass. We can argue about it but you’ll be wrong.

-I saw Eric Roberson perform on Friday night at the Black Cat in Washington, DC. He put on a damn good show. I have no complaints whatsoever. What did throw me for a loop was the fact that quite the diverse crowd apparently appreciates the music of Mr. Erro. There were perms next to naturals, busted next to beautiful. Salon-locks next to damn-near-rastas, and white people (of which he gave a shout out too). You know, when you go see these neo-soul shows I usually expect to see the “natural” crowd out in full force with locks, twists, and headwraps but I always forget about my permed-out-Armani Exchange-Kenneth Cole-Louis Vuitton sisters and brothers (of which I’m apart) who appreciate good incense waving music as much as the next deep thinker or pretentious fuck.

I like the statement pretentious fuck. It reeks of Michael Douglass. And speaking of Michael Douglass…

-The opening act for Eric Roberson was a local DC burgeoning artist who goes by the name of W. Ellington Felton. (Why he has no personal website is amazing to me in 2006…anywho.) Talented brother, I cannot tell a lie. Not being able to tell a lie also means that I think I do not like him…as a person…without having so much as one conversation with him. I’m also sure this is fine with him being as he has lots of fans in DC, so I wish him well anyway. This was the second time I’ve seen him and he wasn’t so bad this time, but the first time I saw him he came across as a holier-than-thou-pretentious-fuck-savior of good music. Kind of like Kanye does only without the Grammy or Grammy nominations or classic albums and fan base under his belt. To complete the murder, he even has a Kanye West diss track where he’s calling out Kanye for being a hypocrite and basically full of shit while he mocks Kanye’s dance moves from “Golddigger” and does it over the “Jesus Walks” beat. The only think I can remember from the song is that he has beef with Kanye for not thinking before he speaks and for some of his antics which are “harmful to black youth”. The interesting part is this…after the songs he says that people should still support Kanye because he’s important to pop culture and mainstream culture, but…

he’s destroying black culture. Thoughts?

And um, I have no idea how that related to Michael Douglass.

-I wanted to hate Chris Brown. I absofuckin’lutely hate that damn “Run It!” song with the passion of 1000 Mel Gibson’s. However, after listening to “Yo (Excuse Me Miss)” I decided to give him a chance and lo and behold I have to say I like the kid. His album is pretty damn good as poppy-young urban albums go. Basically, he’s the Omarion that everybody will be okay with liking. And he can dance. His album has some serious Usher-esque tones to it though…vocally and musicwise, which isn’t a bad thing…I’m just saying.

-Speaking of Usher clones, on Ghostface’s new song “Like That”, I would have sworn on a stack of Black Panther leaflets that Usher was singing the hook, but it happens to be newcomer/the poor man’s Chris Brown, Ne-Yo, singing the hook. He should be flogged for misleading people by trying to sound completely like Usher down to the breathing and everything. Not that I know anything about Usher’s breathing. No brokeback. I got my mind made up, c’mon…I’m going nowhere with that.

-You know how I get when I love a movie, I watch it over and over. Such is the case with Roll Bounce. I’ve seen it a good 20 times since I purchased a few weeks ago. I love that movie. Bow Wow’s acting roles make him likable, his real life persona is quite the contrary. For a 18 year old 4′11″ fellow, he sure is a cocky fuck (pretentious fuck), but this movie was great as far as reminding me of my childhood. It’s up there with The Wood as movies that I can watch over and over that It makes me want to go roller skating and listen to disco.

-Speaking of disco, KC and The Sunshine Band is that lick. Trust me on this one. “I’m Your Boogey Man” is my new shit. This song is so gangsta that if I ever get a chance to drop my second album I’m gonna holla at KC and ‘nem and see if I can make this my first single. Of course, to drop a second album, one must drop a first album…it’s coming. Fact is, I’m really feeling disco right about now. Umm…no brokeback.

-One last mention of Roll Bounce (the last bullet was in reference to the soundtrack in the movie), Nick Cannon gets a nod as a headliner in the movie. Yet he’s barely present and has a total of maybe 5 lines….in the entire movie. Methinks the executives thought Nick Cannon’s “presence” would sell the movie totally forgetting how many 8-14 year old girls love Bow Wow. Or maybe Nick Cannon threatened to shoot somebody’s momma in the ovary. He was funny in the movie though.

-I still love Christina Milian.

-Speaking of Christina Milian, Cool & Dre produced her entire new album (I have no idea the release date) and the first single might be a song called “Say It” featuring Young Jeezy (yes, you know him by now). It seems as if Cool & Dre are already biting their own catalog as the song has a very similar feel to “Hate It Or Love It” courtesy of The Compton Cocoon Stripper, The Game. Not that this is a bad thing, but I’m saying…already? Damn.

-Everybody knows that Cam’ron just dissed Jay-Z in a damn near 8 minute track called “You Gotta Love It”. As far as diss tracks go, it’s pretty anti-spectacular. Especially coming from Cam’ron…I might not expect lyrical wizadry, but I do expect to be entertained. Cam’ron, you disappointed me…and what the hell is wrong with a grown ass man wearing open-toed sandals anyway? I mean, I wouldn’t do it, but you wear pink…and dress like a woman on occasion. Who’s really the fruitboy here?

Murda Mase Update: This is getting kind of ho-hum, but the Pastor has released a mixtape under the G-Unit flag. I’m telling you, he deserves an award right about now. For what? For the fact that he has clearly and quit transparently laid out the blueprint for “How to get to hell once you have turned your life around and given it to the Lord to (allegedly) do the Lord’s work.” He is trying to show you how to get to hell…so that you may do the opposite. He’s willing to illuminate the fault in thinking that just because a man claims to be Jesus-y, he will not curse, claim to have hoe’s (despite being married), claim to be ready to murder, or be greedy, or hang out with Satan when possible. Essentially, he’s showing that committing the seven (plus) sins is in man’s nature.

Kudos Mr. Betha…kudos. And yes, he’s Murda Mase again. I wonder how the parishioners of S.A.N.E. Ministries feel about their backsliding pastor?

-Nyquil, the nightime-sniffling-sneezing-coughing-aching-fever-sleep better to feel better medicine, has done jack shit for me over the past few nights. I have spent the last few nights attempting to be in bed at a decent hour, only to still be awake 2 hours later from coughing. Nyquil used to be that crack for me, now it’s more like weed. Only makes me feel better in spirit, but I need something stronger. Like gin. Which is not smart to drink after taking medicine…at all.

-Nas signed a deal with Def Jam…though I saw this coming a while ago, I’m glad this did happen. It’s a good look for all parties involved, which includes Jay, Nas, Sony, Def Jam, me, Nas fans, and Johnson & Johnson. Maybe this time Jay can help him pick beats which has been his Achille’s heel and his Nas’s album. Didn’t get that huh?

Me neither, and I wrote it.

-Should Jay-Z make a comeback diss to Cam’ron? Subject of debate…do tell.

Wow, you’re still reading? Thanks…

-Congratulations to both Pittsburgh and Seattle, neither of which I predicted to be in the Super Bowl. Fuck you to Indy and Carolina. You owe me 50 bucks each bitches.

I think I’m done now.

17 Responses to “Random Thoughts On A Monday Morning While Wishing I Was Drinking A Long Island Iced Tea

  • 1
    angry nigga
    January 23rd, 2006 11:14

    da fuck is up wit dese lil niggas dissin da gods? BoW Wow, Lil Wayne, now Mr. Pink. rap has no more morals.

  • 2
    matt
    January 23rd, 2006 11:31

    >Should Jay-Z make a comeback diss to Cam’ron?

    nothing to come back on. that shit was weak.

  • 3
    Honest
    January 23rd, 2006 12:09

    You ain’t as fresh as I is.

    I don’t get the rap beef, east coast west coast, down souf, mid west you ain’t as fresh as I is rap battles. It’s right up there with the continued plight of the Haitian people. Is there anything we can do about it.

  • 4
    Creem
    January 23rd, 2006 12:13

    Ah HAH! Panama, I told you Chris’ album was nice and i hated Run it for a min too but when its good, its good.

    Should Jay respond?
    umm NO hes too much of a grown ass man.

    but YES cuz we’re all waiting and i think with the garbage thats out now, the battle will add a lil Viagra to the limp d*ck we now call hip hop.

    *and no Brokeback? LMAO (priceless)

  • 5
    The After Party Hostess
    January 23rd, 2006 12:57

    I almost went to that Eric Roberson concert (big ups to HU)! But we opted for drinking ourselves to the point that going to Yum’s in Oxen Hill at 2 seemed like a good idea. W. Ellington Felton? About two years ago, I was in Juste and he performed. He was on stage talkin’ bout how there was a very special guest, someone who hadn’t planned to perform that night. Next thing I knew I was hoisted onto the stage and he was singing a little diddy about a girl who head isn’t “wrapped”. I think it is called Making Me. for my kively stange dancing antics, I got a free t-shirt and CD. I’ve been a minor fan ever since. Hint: Give me free stuff, I’ll support you. I expect my copy of your first album signed and delivered as soon as the first 100 are pressed!

    And the other stuff? Eff Mase, Cam’ron, Nick, and Bow Wow.

  • 6
    Donna
    January 23rd, 2006 13:27

    Erro is my dude (being one of those afroed, yet non-pretentious fucks)! Glad you finally got to hear his stuff. I hope you bought his album, since you like Chris Brown so much. Without sounding like a pretentious fuck, I don’t really like Chris Brown. I like ne-Yo, Omarion and Mario though…KC and the Sunshine Band…that’s hotness!

    And since you brought up Roll Bounce…I thought that movie had the worst casting in it. Ex: I couldn’t keep the sexy neighbor and the light-skinndededed girls mom straight. And Nick Cannon and the skating champ guy looked enough alike to be mistaken for each other. Why have Nick Cannon and Wayne Brady in the same movie?? Bad casting!

    Meghan Goode did an excellent job of toning down the sexy…she looked like a pubescent girl!

  • 7
    dyoung
    January 23rd, 2006 13:28

    You know, as much as I generally dislike the raw anal rapist, I can’t help but appreciate what he’s capable of doing on the court. 81 fucking points??? I don’t even think I scored 81 points my entire freshman year of college.

    Btw, the “no brokeback” line would have been more appropiate if you used it after calling bow wow a surprisingly “cocky fuck” for being so short.

  • 8
    Panama
    January 23rd, 2006 13:35

    @dyoung: good call…my “no brokeback” skills are growing…um…no brokeback.

    @Donna: the lightskinned girl’s mom is teh sexxy neighbor next door. Kellita Smith…she is her and her is she. i actually liked the casting in the movie. especially all the kids…it worked well.

  • 9
    Monk
    January 23rd, 2006 13:59

    Yes…’Roll Bounce’ was a cute lil’ movie with a bangin’ ass soundtrack.
    After hearing ‘yo (excuse me miss), I am interested to see what chris brown’s album sound like BUT I can’t see myself purchasing it…prolly just borrow my sister’s.
    And yes, Jay should respond to Cam. Rap is boring right now so maybe that would spice it up a bit.

  • 10
    crazyone
    January 23rd, 2006 14:15

    Ne-Yo is a pretty talented guy he co-wrote “Let Me Love You” and I kind of like his “Stay” song. No brokeback

  • 11
    Creem
    January 23rd, 2006 14:26

    One more thing…i dont know about Nas signing to Def Jam, how can u work 4 the dude that called out ur kids mother. I dont know if i could forgive that.

  • 12
    Bulletproof Diva
    January 23rd, 2006 14:33

    I read somewhere that hip-hop needs a tampon.

  • 13
    Panama
    January 23rd, 2006 15:35

    I’ll admit AT TIMES hip-hop has problems…but needs a tampon?? Sheesh…it aint THAT bad…

    Truthfully, I don’t even understand that…

    *hold me*

  • 14
    The Killa Cal
    January 23rd, 2006 15:38

    NEW SLANG ALERT!!

    Cam’ron is mad “brokeback” for doing this shit!!

  • 15
    Monk
    January 23rd, 2006 19:30

    Oh yeah…y’all are killin’ me with the ‘no brokeback’!! HILARIOUS!! That’s the first new slang phrase of ‘06.

  • 16
    Xquizzyt1
    January 24th, 2006 17:09

    I hate you for saying “no brokeback” you are so damn ridiculous!!! This whole post was just… so… you. LOL

    Hilarious.

    and when you said this… I smiled. “Wow, you’re still reading? Thanks…” LOL You’re crazy.

  • 17
    vagitis
    January 24th, 2006 17:53

    Holy shit, I love Roll Bounce, so cute. but yet I hate Bow Wow so much. Serious short man syndrome going on there.

    Hate the Ne-Yo song, only because I know they’re going to pull a Mario on it. Hear it once or twice its cute, hear it 5000 times you cringe when the intro comes on.

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