Now that 2005 is out of the way, it’s time for the world to focus on making 2006 a better year. There were numerous blemishes on 2005 that made it one for both the record books and the trash bins. From what was arguably one of the worst years in rap to the social litmus test that Hurricane Katrina was to the continued war in Iraq and the continued ineptitude that is the Bush Administration to 50 Cent, 2005 can basically be summed up in two words…

…it sucked.

To highlight what sucked about 2005 and to expand on an idea that I heard on the Russ Parr Morning show this morning, I’d like to discuss some trends/people/shit I’d like to see die out with 2005.

1) Stop Snitching T-Shirts

This has to be the worst-dumbest-most ignantest-stupidest mainstream trend to hit the streets since crack. These shirts have been discussed ad nauseum by any and everybody but I’m not sure anybody has truly been able to capture the disdain I have for the shirts and the fuckin’ idiots that wear them and live by that credo on a daily basis. Look, I understand the often chaotic and distrusting relationship we have with police in the black community, but this personal affront to law enforcement and cleaning up the streets that our dumb asses live on is just unsmart??

Sometimes I hate black people. This is up there with looting and rioting in your own neighborhood. Pretty soon your just robbing yourself. Hell, people are afraid to turn themselves in for shit now, not because of jail time, but because they don’t to be seen as snitching on themselves. I blame Jim Jones for this.

2) D4L AKA The “Laffy Taffy” Niggas

Their 15 minutes of fame just HAS to be up. I saw these dudes on Rap City one day and I was amazed at the utter stupidity of all 4 members. These niggas represent everything that white people think is wrong with black people today. These dudes came onto the set and the first thing they wanted to talk about was how they all went to jail, they were all from the projects, and they all had to “do what they had to do” to survive. Not to mention the fact that they couldn’t speak English. Is the song catchy? Yes, so is syphillis and you don’t want that do you?

I blame Jim Jones for D4L.

3) Ugggs

These boots look like fat woman ankle socks. I blame Jim Jones for this.

4) Young Jeezy Disgruntled “Snowman” T-Shirts

I don’t have any particular hate for Young Jeezy or the t-shirts, I’m just damn tired of seeing them. Period. Anybody with half a brain that knows a black person knows that the snow=cocaine. The fact that it took so long for school districts to catch on to what the hell these kids were promoting on school grounds (though I assume half of them really didn’t even care about the “snow” reference, they just liked the shirts and they were trendy) means to me that some school districts really aren’t paying attention to the kids that they are entrusted to educate.

I also blame Jim Jones for this.

6) Terrell Owens

I think I hate this ignant nigga. This man’s lunacy reaches so far that the gotdamn NAACP (well, one misguided chapter President AKA one pissed off fan with the ability to get his voice heard) got involved. He singlehandedly tanked an entire NFL organization. It’s like everybody that even comes around him becomes unbearable from his sports agent, Eddie Munster, to Alvin and The Chipmunks, who have nothing to do with him, but I’m sure he’d even make them unenjoyable.

I’ll bet he knows Jim Jones.

7) The Bush Administration

This one doesn’t exaclty fit here, but still, how much damage can one man do? Apparently a lot. It’s like Bush and his cronies don’t even give a shit about anybody. Kanye was off a little. Not only does Bush not care about black people, he doesn’t care about anybody who might even think about thinking about not agreeing with him. Spying on American’s? Fuck it…why not? Big Brother my ass, this nigga is more like a proctologist. All up in everybody’s ass just because he can. I’ll be Jim Jones is a Republican.

50 Cent

Admittedly I’m a fan, but I’d really just like him to take a year long break from our collective media outlets. No more bad but amusing movies, no more bad but amusing group albums (Get Rich or Die Tryin’ Soundtrack), no more stupid ass beef for no reason. No more G-Unit signings (I swear, I heard he was trying to sign Donnie McClurkin to his G-Unit Way North label)…just no more 50. And no more Mobb Deep. I hate you guys.

9) Gwen Stefani

Yeah I know, we all love her. But er um…I’m just tired of seeing her ass everywhere and I’m tired of her walking around with her Harajuku girls/ornaments/accessories. Them girls hung with her like they were her earrings. Wasn’t that exploitation at its finest? That same shit happened with black people in Roots, only then we called it slavery.

10) Tall Tee’s AKA Those T-Shirt Dresses Homothugs were wearing

Why on Earth was this ever a good idea? It’s a dress. Period. No wonder so many women think men are all gay, we took all of the things that made women, women. We took diamonds, we took dresses, we took men. Hell, I even saw a dude reading a Zane book the other day. I think Zane is Jim Jones.

11) Black Eyed Peas (more specifically Will.I.Am.) expecting people to respect their artistry

“My Humps” is the worst song I’ve head in years. And that’s saying a lot considering that Mase put out a whole album of the worst shit he could think of and that Bone Thugs and Harmony did a song with Phil Collins, which is clearly #2 on the worst songs in history list. Bottom line. Nobody respects you all and we laugh. White people with no taste buy your albums. And black people who hang with white people with no taste. See Condoleeza Rice. You know she got the Black Eyed Peas album. She probably knows Jim Jones too.

12) Dip Set making loud bad music

Throughout 2005, they provided more loud annoyingly bad music than any other crew. At least G-Unit brought us The Game’s album and 50’s album had its high points. There was no album out of this entire crew that came with an album worthy of listening too. To include Juelz Santana (of whom I’m actually a fan). The game was not missing your album Juelz, it was on the shelf with the rest of the shit that nobody wanted to buy. I hate Jim Jones.

13) Panama Jackson being such a hater

Fuck you.

14) BET

I’d honestly like the station to just go off the air. It serves no purpose anymore. None. There is nothing on BET that you can’t get somewhere else of better quality.

Also, though unrelated, I’d like the NAACP to drop the “colored” and update it to something more contemporary, like NADA, the National Association of Domestic Africans, that way we know who they do things for and what they do all at the same time, NADA.

15) Fake Fur Women’s Boots

Please stop with the travashamockery that is these ugly as hell boots. I don’t care if I know you and you have some. You look like a gotdamn eskimo. In Atlanta. Or DC. It’s just not a good look. Stop it.

16) Bloods (and I mean the gang, not the American Red Cross) Showing up every damn where

I blame The Game for this, but I swear the Bloods must have a recruitment drive or something. I can’t go anywhere without seeing some nigga with a red bandana hanging out of his right pocket or with red shoelaces to go with his red ensemble. Give me a fucking break. I was in Dover, Delaware…FUCKIN’ DOVER DELAWARE, and there go some nigga all flamed up and shit.

I’m calling for a moratorium on all niggas who aren’t from California being Bloods. If you aren’t from Cali, come up with some new shit. I mean, look at Chicago, they have WHOLE different gangs and shit, Vice Lords, Gangsta Disciples, Black Gangsta Disciples, etc. Just join the umbrella that was created. Either be Folk or part of the Nation. But for goodness sake, leave the Bloods and Crips to Cali where they belong.

Jim Jones is a Blood (of UBN, if I’m not mistaken) it’s all his fault too.

And last but not least…

17) Jim Jones

There’s just not enough words for the type of hater he is. So enough of him…he’s got to go too.

Oh yeah…

18) Houston rappers not named UGK or Geto Boys

For real, most of them suck. And the albums suck along with them. I like Paul Wall, but his album sucked like Mike Jones and Slim Thug and especially that damn Lil Flip. Chamillionaire will not blow. Unless he starts giving his boys head.

And…

19) People questioning that I’m the sexxiest mofo around

That’s just got to end…facts are facts.

I. Am. Panama Jackson.

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