What’s In Your Wallet?
Employee: Will this be all for you? Will you be paying with cash, check, or credit card?
Customer: I’ll be using my race card. Thank you.
Now how funny would it be to see that situation occur and see somebody pull out the Black American Express card, or the African-American Express as Kanye so eloquently stated?
But I’m not talking about credit cards, I’m talking about the race card. And quite frankly, that’s all you need.
I’m black.
Let me repeat that for those who are unaware or can’t read who in essence wouldn’t need me to repeat it since you aren’t reading this anyway and it isn’t like this is out on CD or anything so I supposed the only reason I’m repeating is because I actually want to repeat it again. I supposed I’m just arrogant like that. I’m also arrogant enough to ask you, why are there dandelions in the parking garage (I know you have no idea…I’m sexxy)?
*ahem*
I’m black.
Now as a black person in America, I have been afforded certain luxuries. I get to be on the leading edge of where youth culture is going and lead impressionable white youth through the rebellious phase that their parents despise that will be ultimately grown out of. I get to be the first to see how effectively the police force is policing a neighborhood. I also get the luxury of being the first guy picked on an outside basketball court if nothing but white players are playing.
I also get to use the race card at my discretion. Yes, as a black person, I get to proclaim that race played a part in pretty much any situation where it is even remotely possible that race could have negatively impacted a situation. Sometimes I’m right, but sometimes I’m wrong. The bottom line is that given this country’s history, I’m within my full rights to do so at my leisure.
I watched the finale of America’s Next Top Model last night. And yes, I watch that show. I even pick favorites and have conversations with people about the show. This show is living proof that if you are pretty (or unique looking) somebody will pay and you can have a good life. I mean seriously, what other talents do these women actually have despite their God (or whoever you pray too or if you aren’t religious, biolgically configured genetic)-given looks? Yet, there they are, on display trying to make a living off of facial expressions and their genetics. And I have no issue with that, I think its great. That’s why I watch it.
[***DISCLAIMER: I don't want to hear about how these models have talent and what not. Give me a fucking break. Aside from the ability to walk in a straight line and snort coke at an amazing speed, neither of which are exactly marketable skills, there isn't much talent necessary. Shit, throw a carb-filled potato and a Shakesperean sonnet at them and they'll take of running and screaming. So cut the shit about the talented models. It takes a look and sometimes a gas-induced look to be a model. And being tall...that helps a lot. So if you are a model and are offended by any statements I make...snort some coke, shut the fuck up and smile. Go stand and look interesting somewhere. ***]
Well, after Bree was eliminated last night…I wonder if anybody in America actually thought Bree was going to win. Talk about something that wasn’t going to happen. There was a better chance of the KKK letting me speak at their next convention than Bree winning. Either way, after Bree was eliminated and it was Nicole and Nik left, something dawned on me. If Nik loses, the race card is going to be pulled.
Nik lost. The race card was pulled.
Right after it was announced that Nicole won, my little sister and I took out a bet on who the first person to pull the race card was going to be. I said my girlfriend would.
I was right.
In less than one hour, the race card had been pulled.
Let me be very clear about this…I think that given the runway performance, Nicole won. It was Nik’s to lose because she was on par for the most part. But Nicole flipped the script. I wasn’t prepared. I wanted Nik to win much like every other black person. And further, though I thought she did take outstanding pictures, I wanted her to win mostly because she was, well, black.
I’m sure most black people felt that way. But I’m also sure that a lot of black people will say that Nicole won because she was white and two black chicks had won in prior years. I’m not saying it isn’t possible, we all know that when race can play a factor, it usually does. However, I actually think Nicole deserved to win.
While we’re talking about Nik…oh, we weren’t we? Hmm, while we’re talking about Nik, isn’t she the most unattractive attractive woman, like ever? When I first saw her I thought she was the most ugmo of ugmo’s. But when she takes pictures, she looks good. And last night, for the first time I thought she looked quite attractive at the panel. She’s unique looking. So unigue that she’s uglily beautiful. Any dude dating her will somehow be the envy of other dudes. Luckily, she has gorgeous eyes because if she didn’t, she’d be busted for real. Just strange.
Yep, I don’t think the race card is appropriate in this situation…but then again, I actually think Nicole stole it from Nik with the runway. For those that don’t think that should have done it, the race card is appropriate. I must say though, that I have a problem with the race card being pulled at every damn turn.
Everything isn’t racism. I’m sorry. I know as black people, we’ve had some fucked up times and will have more and I think that in 75 percent of cases, we are justified in pulling the race card. But in those other 25, well we are just full of shit. I swear, anytime a muhfucka can say race is why something didn’t work out for them they do.
Dandelions in the parking garage. Why?
You didn’t get that job? It’s because them white muhfucka’s don’t want no black faces around. You got put in jail…another case of the white cops fucking with black people. Maybe they caught your ass committing a crime. Sometimes, just sometimes, it has nothing to do with race and more to do with the situation as presented before you.
Now, I know we’ve been conditioned to feel like it’s always race given this countries racist history and the PC racism that goes on today. But I think sometimes it causes us to make too many assumptions. We assume we didn’t get the job becasue the company’s racist…we never once think that somebody else may have been more qualified.
COMING SOON. The 2nd Annual Jackson G. Tickle Michael Jackson/Condoleeza Rice Most Ignant Black Person of 2005 Pageant!! Coming January 9th, 2006 to We The Voices/JGT Enterprises…it’s coming back bitches.
Let me also say, I believe in affirmative action so like Chris Rock said, “If it’s a tie…fuck ‘em.” I wholeheartedly agree with that, but you know…everything isn’t a gotdamned tie.
And nobody ever thinks about that side. I’ll be the first person to call a spade a spade, and say some shit is racist if I actually believe it has some racial undertones. But last night…muhfuckin’ Nik dropped the ball and Nicole busted that ass like Tyson in the 80’s. I’ve already talked with more than enough people to realize that folks are gonna throw the race card around like that shit is a football in Indianapolis, but in this case, I don’t think it fits.
To Nicole, congratulations. I hate you.
To Nik, you ugly fine woman, you’ll land on your feet b/c you only lost due to the runway and the fact that the damn Twiggy-heiffer didn’t like you from the beginning.
And for everybody that is heated about Nik losing…
…just call Jesse.
December 8th, 2005 12:07
2 white chicks won for the first 2 seasons Eva then Naima(sp) who’s race is questionable anywayz…I guess it was overdue.
Hummm…you didn’t think Nik was attractive. My brother and dad was saying the same thing, and I couldn’t understand why (well cause I’m a chick).
To me she was a cross between Beyonce and Amel Larrieux (a bit). She has all the qualities of a attractive person I guess. Ya, know full lips, big eyes, smooth carmel skin, long honey hair and *annoyed* green eyes. I really wanted to understand why my bro and father didn’t like her. All I could get was a “…well she’s not all that cute”. What’s not cute about her? Is it her nose or something? I guess that one photograher (the week for the photoshoot for the deoderant) said it best from a point that I’ve kinda understood “She not exactly attractive but she’s sexy.” errrr I guess I get it.
December 8th, 2005 12:26
That attractive but not sexxy thing is a good way to put it. Like I never thought she was so hot, but I thought she had some sex appeal. I knew this girl at Spelman like that. I never thought she was cute but she had the sexxiest walk ever. She just exuded sex appeal despite looking fugly as hell. I can work with that…
And if she is a cross between Beyonce and Amel Larrieux, she must have gotten the worst qualities of both of them that came together well. I’d still date her…
December 8th, 2005 12:50
i agree about the lack of general attractiveness…and the fact that i probably still would have dated her, lol. same thing with eva actually also. i really cant explain it…shes kind of awkward and sick looking, but…still…has…something. i dont know. nevermind. this is too difficult for me.
December 8th, 2005 15:15
I watched it. And I agree … the runway sealed the deal. It definitely wasn’t that commercial, where Nicole had to be spoon fed lines like a Michael Irvin houseguest.
Nicole deserved to win. But you know I was watching closely to see if Bre would go off on somebody after she was eliminated — maybe go back to the hotel and dump some Red Bull just for old times sake!
And she didn’t … boo.
December 8th, 2005 15:45
whatever Panama…the show is trying to stay relevant to the fashion world, and brown girls are not held up as the standard beauty. Fu*k a race card, it’s a reality card. LOL
and did you hear that heffa COMPLAINING about the lights being too bright? ummm, YOU ARE IN A MODELING COMPETITION!!..dumbidge.
*mean mugging Panama*
December 8th, 2005 15:46
I didn’t read your whole post because it’s the usual Panama-length and I can’t wait to respond… I will of course, go back and read and be embarrassed because I repeated everything you said in your post. But I’ll risk it.
Now, first of all, I had no one to talk to about this because DAMN Wise Diva’s phone was off. Hmmph.
Well I was rooting for Bre. I had been rooting for her since day ONE when I chose her to win. Much like when I chose YaYa day one on that other ANTM. I didn’t watch it last season and thank God because Naima is hideous to me and even NOW when I see her on the Cover Girl commercials I’m like, “ARe you shitting me?” She’s downright ugly.
Now, once my baby was eliminated… and might I say that the VERY FIRST time she felt confident about her ability to win during the eliminations… she got eliminated. Hmmph. Go figure.
But it wasn’t until 8:48 that it became PAINFULLY obvious they were handing it to Nicole. First of all… when it was down to Nik and Nicole I thought… “Hmm… they already did the light-skinned, blond-haired, green-eyed black girl two seasons ago (Eva) are they really going to do THAT look again??? Hmmm… probably not. But then when I KNEW it was over for Nik was when they were doing the runway show and Tyra was cheering for Nicole every time she came walking her way… but when Nik was doing her thing??? *crickets* What pissed me off was that the chick that totally GAVE UP on the commercial was given the nod, when Bre at least TRIED and worked it out in the end… even though she messed up.
It was obvious to me who it was getting handed to. And Nicole is not even that genetically blessed. She’s a decent looking skinny white chick. Period. She’s NOT gorgeous or flawless or beautiful as they exclaimed week after week. Every week I was waiting for her to finally get the shaft and every week she managed to pull it out.
Poor Bre. This better not be the last time we see her. But I will say I AM tired of EVERY damn black contestant having that same “signature” horse-stomp walk.
BIG UP BRE!!! Get out there and become what neither of them could EVER have been!!!! A SuperModel!!! Do your thing mama!!!!
The End.
December 8th, 2005 15:48
Oh and Nik with those bug eyes and that ugly mole (not cute like Cindy’s) and that horrible overbite… was not cute to me at all. Never thought she was… but that Nicole was even WACKER than her. There was no real comparison, Nik definitely was the winner between the two of THEM… and I think that photographer fucked up and accidentally let it slip that Nicole was the winner in the beginning and tried to fix it later. I soooo don’t think that was decided later… I think the winner was chosen already. Just my EXTRA $3.55. LOL
December 8th, 2005 16:28
Well, I didn’t want either black chick to win…I pull the gay/lesbian card (even though I’m not a lesbian) because I wanted Kim to win, and I pull the weirdo card because I wanted Lisa to win…
I didn’t think any of the people in the final 4 deserved to win, but since it did come down to race (and it always does) then i wanted the brownskinnededed girl to win…
After Bre was kicked off, I didn’t care who won…
December 8th, 2005 19:43
well, I have to go with you on this one, man-it was Nik’s to lose, and she did.
Now, I liked Nik’s body more than Nicole’s, and thought she was more unique looking, but that didn’t mean I didn’t see Nicole’s appeal…
Frankly, I think Nik lost because she was BORING as hell. Personality of milk toast. When they gave both girls the chance to say one last thing before panel, Nicole was like “I wanna win”, and Nik was all “I’ll be happy with whatever happens…” (shake like a leaf in a storm).
Nicole comes across as a goofy heifer, but at least that’s personality.
December 8th, 2005 20:31
My favorite to win was Jayla because there was no way in which a woman of color would win for 3 consecutive years. Once Jayla was out, I knew it would be Nicole out of the last 3.
December 8th, 2005 22:06
Nik has a man face. The angles of her face are more similar to that of a man. It’s in her jaw and brow lines. MANFACE. If we change the meaurements of her face, I bet men would think she was hot. She has a lot of the pieces to the hot puzzle, but when you put them together, they are an oddly masculine version of a woman’s face. IMO.
Uh, Panama, kiss my arse on a Sunday!! You know there weren’t going to pick three Black chicks back-to-back-to-back.
December 9th, 2005 11:36
I personally think Nik’s a lesbian that’s why she didn’t win, Nicole is easily influenced and can easily be molded into whatever they want. and lord knows she Tyra would have a heart attack if a lezbo was one of the winners.
December 9th, 2005 12:10
Bre definitely was bamboozled!!
December 9th, 2005 12:18
Bre was bamboozled? Did you really think she had a chance of winning? I was amazed she made it as far as she did. She’s cute yes…but she had not one modelesque quality about her. Hell…would you pick her? I wouldn’t…she ain’t gonna make me any money. Then again…I wouldn’t have picked Naima’s busted ass either.
Basically..y’all ain’t gonna see Bre’s ass unless you watch the reunion show, reruns, or happen to be strolling thru Harlem on a random Wednesday.
Yesterday was the first time I heard about Nik being a lesbian. Maybe I don’t watch it enough cuz I didn’t realize anybody cared if a lesbian won…they’re cokeheads for god’s sake, how does being a lesbian come up on the wrong meter?
December 12th, 2005 13:39
“To Nicole, congratulations. I hate you.”
LMAO!!! Is it me or do the words “white girl” get used way too much when folks speak of the two finalist?
Come on now, you knew that white girl was gonna win. OR I knew they were gonna give it to the white girl. OR Hmph…they didn’t pick Nik because they had to let that white girl win.
Or perhaps its just the folks I know that refuse to call her by name.
December 12th, 2005 18:45
Considering a lot of factors, I didn’t think Bre was gonna win but, to me, she was by far more attractive than Nik and Nicole. Yup! The chick was ROBBED!! I would have definitely picked her over the others. Nik definitely has a unique look to her where I wouldn’t be mad if she had won and Nicole was just outright BORING to me. Bre took some bomb ass pictures too!