Every now and then its time to share random thoughts, and what better day then today when I really just don’t feel like getting into the deep dark depths of my mind. Actually, I never really delve that deeply. Usually, I merely dictate any diatribe that dust so happens to appear in one of my brain cavities.

Always floss kiddies, always floss.

Yes, I actually meant to write “dust” up there since I couldn’t write “just”.

Literary license and I am Panama Jackson. I can do somethings that others just wouldn’t even think to do.

Plus, I’m sexxy.

So, onto the random thoughts…

-I’m staying in DC for Thanksgiving because airline tickets are a bitch and a doe. Luckily, I have friends who’s family is something like my family so I have somewhere to go. However, I really would rather be in Atlanta right now. And by right now, I mean right now. I don’t like DC that much.

-But…surprisingly, this weekend I went to a party that was largely attended by the actual reading black population of DC. Attractive women, men with jobs, white people…I’m telling you, this will be written about in the future.

You have no idea how amazed I was at the collection of people at this party. We’re talking surprised like seeing King Kong on the top of the Empire State Building.

In real life.

-I’ve been listening to Nirvana’s album Nevermind a lot lately. Everybody already knows the impact that Nirvana had on the grunge game and I don’t think there’s a person alive, regardless of race (or irregardless if you’re more comfortable with that assbackwards word), who doesn’t like “Smells Like Teen Spirit”. However, what the fuck was Kurt Cobain talking about on some of these songs? Either I’m way to black to understand or he was really just high as the fuck when writing this shit. For instance, one of my favorite songs is “Something In The Way.” On this song he tells us that “it’s okay to eat the fish/because they don’t have any feet.” Hmmm…what does this have to do with anything? Should we eat the fish because they can’t run?

I believe that somewhere in Kurt Cobain’s lyrics lies the keys to the universe. Ambiguously ridiculous enough for people to try to find meaning in them, but more than likely, totally non-sensical cocaine-induced lyricism. Either way, white people believe in him so who am I to question his lyrics. They just make good music.

-Speaking of good music, that damn Kanye managed to surprise me a lot. He just released the video for “Heard ‘Em Say” and though it isn’t the best video he’s done, its a different ass video. It’s all black and white animation. It’s like A-Ha’s “Take On Me” meets your kindergarten nephew’s best drawings.

-Speaking of animation, the movie Fat Albert has been on HBO everyday for the past two or three weeks. I think I’ve watched it everyday for the past two or three weeks. Literally. For some reason, I really like this movie. Them damn characters crack me up. Okay, I’m only watching for Dania Ramirez, my new favorite Dominican. Fret not Christina Milian, she hasn’t taken your place. Dania Ramirez was also the FINE ASS girlfriend of Kerry Washington (one of the participants in our October Madness Tourney) in the godawful, but highly entertaining movie She Hate Me. I wanted to jump her bones with a broom and some jacks. Aside from her, the movie really is fun. I’ll probably watch it a few dozen more times then go buy it on DVD…or divda, as they called it in the movie.

-Do you realize that when I like something, I’m really dedicated to it? Fat Albert, about 15 times in the past few weeks, and I had Nirvana’s song “Something In The Way” on repeat all day yesterday. From 930am until I left at 545pm. Word to the wise, if I believe in you, I’ll go hard. If not, die.

-Speaking of Christina Milian (well we were anyway), apparently her and Nick Cannon have split up. I kind of thought she was out of his league anyway. Only because he tries so damn hard. Between him and Ray J, they should have a contest to see who tries harder to be somebody. I’d wager on Ray J to take the crown. And I’m admittedly a fan of Ray J, but I can call a spade a spade. Nick Cannon just hasn’t warmed up to me. I did hear that his show was pretty good, but I never caught a single episode. That fucker stole my former woman, Christina Milian. Plus he seemed way to excited to be in the “Disco Inferno” video with 50 Cent.

Yeah, he was hanging out with 50.

-Just randomly, I was told yesterday that I have a current type. Using Hollywood women as the proxy, the women listed as my type were: Christina Milian, Dania Ramirez, Zoe Saldana, Rosario Dawson, and Claudette Ortiz. Hmm…notice anything about them all?? Yep, they all have Latino last names. My type is women with Latino last names apparently.

(I’m so dumb.)

-Let’s talk about 50 for a second. So…we’ve all seen the picture by now right? I want to know who’s dumb ass signed off on that picture to be used. I’d also like to know what the fuck 50 was thinking by taking that ubergay ass picture. There is no other word that can possibly be used to describe said picture…gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But how do you proclaim to be the hardest nigga in the game and then take a picture that makes Richard Simmons look like a gangsta? Seriously, that is the gayest picture I’ve seen in two years, ESPECIALLY given the subject. Ginuwine? Yeah he could do that…he’s kind of gay anyway. Plus, that looks like something an ambiguously gay guy who makes music for women would do. See also: John Legend, Carl Thomas, Johnny Gill, Ron Artest, etc.

But 50?? You just undermined every record you ever put out. Ole pussy ass picture…ON THE COVER OF GQ!!!

-The Boondocks television show has finally premiered and its on its 4th week. I wasn’t so excited after the first week, but episodes 2 and 3 have totally won me over. The Trial of R. Kelly was one of the funnier moments in TV in the past few years. And the attempt at Granddad to turn a hoe into a housewife and Money Mike showing up? Well, you just can’t deny the comedy. It even made me look past the fact that Regina King voicing Huey and Riley made me want to brand ants with a hotcomb and a nameplate that says “Guggenheim.”

-Some folks are offended by the show’s constant use of the word “nigga”. You know, I’m torn on this one. Mostly because I don’t care which could be partly because I use the word nigga almost niggardly. Which doesn’t fit there, but fuck you. I don’t care about white people seeing the use and thinking its okay either. Fuck ‘em. Watching the Boondocks isn’t going to make any white person say nigga. The child argument…eh…I wonder how many kids actually read the Boondocks anyway and would watch? I know grown ass reading black folks who don’t even read the Boondocks. Aaron McGruder is a college educated satirist, that takes him clear off the radar of random niggas. So like I said, I’m torn. The use fits the show, its satire, and further its comedy. They talk like me.

-I’m realizing that white people aren’t scare of the same things black people are scared of…like black people. White people are scared of lawsuits and bad credit. I’m telling you, I’ve seen more whte people in my neighborhood than a little bit. I swear, they just walk and chill at 2am like they own the place.

Well…

Still, I’ve always found it funny that in neighborhoods that are going to change back to white neighborhoods, whilst still in ghetto mode, the white folks just frolick and play like its safe. Whereas I’m ducking and hiding behind trash cans and shit hiding from niggas, the white people just walk their dogs and sit outside and laugh and shit. That is actually more scary than niggas. White people have no fear.

-You know who else has no fear?

-I was driving near my home in DC the other day and I stumbled upon a section that I had no idea existed. I damn near crashed into a tree because I was in sheer amazement. I found a traffic circle in a neighborhood that used to be “the” place for wealthy black people. In DC, back in the early 1900’s and shit, Ledroit Park was where the black folks used to live who had money…you know, once the white people left. There is no point to this one except to say that I was surprised….and slighly in awe and excited.

-I’m a history and a geography person. I’ll stare at maps for days. You want to get in good with me? Buy me an Atlas. I’ll love you for life.

-I just say Jodeci’s old video for “Lately” that they fillmed at the MTV Unplugged thing they did in like 91 or someshit. K-Ci and JoJo are some ugly niggas. Period.

-Terrell Owens is the dumbest nigga ever.

-Speaking of dumb niggas, The 2nd Annual Jackson G. Tickle Most Ignant Black Person In America Pageant is taking nominations. We’re looking to air it on WJGT-TV in January much like last year. Thus far, the easy targets are 50 Cent (I mean really…he is walking ignorance) and I’m adding Terrell Owens to the list for his antics. I’d add Drew Rosenhaus just off GP for being the jackass he is, but he’s not black. He might need an honorary pass though just to get into the tourney.

Either way, I’m taking nominations for the most ignant black person from this past year. I need help.

-Bumaye Panama!

-Fuck it…I’m done.

Happy Thanksgiving!! Avoid the avian bird flu and drink lots of Red Kool-Aid. Even you white people…KOOL AID IS GOOD FOR YOU!!!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005 at 9:31 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.