October Madness 2005-Championship Monday: She’s Your Queen To Be!!!!
Although we’ve come…to the end of the road, vote bitch!
Welcome to championship Monday.
Are you ready for some EXPLOITATION???!??!?!?!?!!?
Hi, I’m Panama Jackson. We at Jackson G. Tickle Enterprises and The Royal Youngs would like to thank all who have voted and participated in the democratic process that is…
[***Sidenote: Have you seen 50 Cent's new video for "Window Shopper"? I'll admit I like the song. Anyway, why does Mase look SO damn retarded in that video. And I don't mean that in the retarded=goofy way, I mean that in the literal sense of the word. Special Olympics style. You know, I'm honestly starting to wonder about his mental capacity. He's intentionally rebuking God's work by signing with The Devil himself (evidenced by a recent MTV article where 50 actually admitted that he requested that Mase "sacrfiice" in order to sell records.) Garden of Eden anyone?? Either way, I need Mase to just fall off a cliff right about now...and land on a No. 2 pencil. God just can't REALLY be pleased with him right now. Of course, I might join him in hell for my special olympics comment, however, I've accepted that so fuck you. Thanks. ***]
…October Madness 2005, where we’ve scientifically and TOTALLY objectively narrowed down 32 women to what we currently have, 2 women competing for the most bangin’-ist browin skinnededed woman of 2005. It’s been a long road and yet it’s a road we’ve taken unreluctantly, which is something like willingly, however, just saying willingly would cause you to take for granted the fact that I like to make up words or cause shit to be unnormal, which is like saying different. Different is the same thing as unstatusquo, which isn’t a word at all. In fact, fuck it, from here on out, only words that arne’t unabnormal.
How sexxy am I??
That sexxy.
There is one administrative note to mention here. As myself and the a.n.d.y. hadn’t totally thought out every facet of our groundbreakingly innovative and trendsetting tournament (jock ourselves much?), we’ve realized at various points that we don’t know what we’re doing. For instance, about two weeks ago we realized that for the championship round of the tournament we had no idea how we were going to pit the lovely ladies against one another. Being the pure geniuses that we are (speaking of which, genuis loves company) we’ve decided that I’m if you want the lady I write up to win, you just vote over here, and if you want the lovely beauty that the a.n.d.y. profiles to win, you vote over there.
And for you lazy fuckers out there, that means you actually have to GO to the other site. I’ll make it easy for you. Click right here to go the a.n.d.y.’s site to check out who won from his brackets.
Speaking of Genius Loves Company, isn’t the Ludacris and Field Mob song, “Georgia” ridiculously gotdamn great?? You can be honest here…you wish you had a song about your state. Let me rephrase that, you wish you had a song from your state that was actually GOOD as opposed to some shit like “New York” by Fat Joe and everybody else 50 hates.
Georgia…Georrrrrrrrrrrrrrgia….
And if you were unable to make the connections between Genius Loves Company and the Luda/Field Mob song, well, may God have mercy on your soul…and go die.
So!
Without further ado, allow me to introduce you to the one of the finalists for October Madness 2005, from the Jayne Kennedy Bracket, she’s bangin, brownskinned, and bootiful (like fo’ reely), might I introduce…
…(1) KENYA MOORE!!!! def. (4) Nona Gaye 24-9
*screams and hushed yells and toadstools and olives*
[***Another Sidenote: I just got finished watching the first episode of The Boondocks. I'm not totally sold on it yet. That hurts me deeply. I wanted to love this like a fat kid loves cake, but Regina King's voice as Huey and Riley sucks more than two hoes in Hunt's Point. Being as The Boondocks is one of my favorite things in life right now, this is not a good look. I can only hope it gets better. Pray for me! ***]
I’ve damn near exhausted every picture of Kenya Moore to this point, so I’m just going to rehash the old ones. Don’t blame me that we’ve been using 4 and 5 pictures at a time. Blame Bush…
…he doesn’t care about black people.
There you have her, the Queen herself, Kenya Moore. All women, all gorgeous. Forgive her, for she knows not what movies to sign on for, however, she maintains her bangin’ness despite the odds.
Kenya, Kenya, you’re so sweet…sometimes your ass just hypnotizes me. As you can see, I’ve exhausted everything there is to say about her to this point.
Panama’s Pick: Halle Berry (dog…it’s Halle)
Panama’s Prediction: Kenya Moore
a.n.d.y.’s Pick: Kenya Moore
a.n.d.y.’s Prediction: Halle Berry
****
Vote or Die, bitches…vote or die! To vote for Kenya Moore, place your vote/comment/gripe/checking account number, in the comments here. To vote for Halle Berry, go to the a.n.d.y.’s site and place your vote in his comments. We need your help. You too can make a difference in the lives of one woman and one child today by making his wildest dreams come true. There are kids in Slovakia right now who love Kenya Moore and wish her to have this one thing before they die. Always remember…
…I am Malcolm X.
Oh yeah, the Alamo too.
Halle.
lol @ Martha being the first vote and totally disobeying and shit. She’s a rebel.
Kenya
if i was a man, i’d pick Kenya over Halle any day.
then again, as a woman, i still say Kenya, so, um, yeah…
Kenya
Kenya. chocolate wins every time
Halle has just never got it for me. Give me Kenya, and a blue diamond!
Kenya’s ‚Äúsexiness‚Äù beats Halle’s ‚Äúprettiness‚Äù all day. My vote is for Kenya Moore for the win!!
P.S. “Georgia” is a CERTFIED CLASSIC and supports my notion that Field Mob is probably one of THE most slept-on rap duos of ALL TIME!!
Kenya. For the booty alone. Lawdamercy.
@Monk: You know, I agree with you, the problem with Field Mob back in the day wasn’t their skills, I like them. It was the damn over country assedness of their videos and shit. that’s why i hate Nappy Rootz…them niggaz KNOW they ain’t that damn country lookin’ and acting. Somebody tell them to shoot a video not in a wheat field please. But I agree…certified.
kenya
Kenya
going with Kenya, sorry Hal
[Kenya] and it had nothing to do with halle lookin’like a lil baboon in the face in that up-close pic…for real.
Kenya Kenya Kenya
As I’ve said from teh beginning. Kenya, for the win. =)
Kenya is the bangingest, sexiest, most gorgeous-est woman I’ve ever seen, like in the history of EVER…
Clearly… *ahem* I mean… Kenya please.
Signed,
Not X
Kenya…..as a revenge vote for Esther!!!!!
Halle is pretty, she really is, but Kenya is so got-dayum (!) sexy that I either want to do her or be her. Either way: Kenya.
Kenya
Kenya….
I can’t believe Halle won over Esther. That makes no.gawd.damn.sense! LOL
I’ve gotta giev ti to this woman. She is GORGEOUS and gets my vote hands down!
And yes, the voice of Huey and Riley disturbed me. I think they sounded a little TOO much like girls. I mean, I know they have not hit puberty, but give the boys a little credit. I too am hoping things get better with the show. I am pulling for Aaron so I hope things work out.
Kenya
Who is this Kenya woman…
And where can I grab a number to sleep with her?
KENYA!
wow. this one was hard for me, because they are both beautiful, but in COMPLETELY different ways.
Kenya it is.
kenya
Kenya!
Kenya!!!!
I punked out and didn’t vote in the final four because I was too torn by the unreasonably difficult choices that needed to be made.
time to man up now.
*clicks the lever for Kenya*
*pulls back curtain and walks out of voting booth with head held high*
kenya.
nuff said.
Kenya
And Luda carries that song. There’s no way you can say all three verses on “Georgia” are better than all three verses on “100 Guns.”
kenya