I’ll See You When I Get There
Before I get started, I’d like to send a shoutout to everybody who participated in the First Annual Rap Battle here at JGT. To Wise Diva, Diggs, Xquizzyt1, Jarrod, Monk, builtfromwax, D.Young, Humanity Critic (who came in with one late verse and pretty much shut shit down), and Brutha Code (go to the battle to link to folks sites, I’m too lazy to put up everybody’s link). It was a lot of fun and nobody took anything personal from what I could tell. And they say black folks can’t act civil! To the rappers…good damn job and we’ll do it again sometime.
*****
How many of you professional black people out there work in an office majoritoraly (I love making up words) filled with white people?
*hands, hands everywhere*
Damn, that looks like almost everybody.
Well, I’m no different. And I must say that working in a “diverse” office has been very much eye opening for me in the sense that I’ve learned about things that I would never ever learn about on my own. I hear about places I didn’t know existed that are mere minutes from my home. I get to hear about every different flavor of beer known to man, which doesn’t matter much to me since I don’t really drink beer.
However, I’ve also been able to participate in workplace innings (similar to outings, except they took place within the halls of the office) intended to celebrate the end of prohibition. This is where I learned that white people truly aren’t afraid of anything because actual drinking of whiskey’s, scotch’s, and other shit you just don’t think to order at the club were being consumed on work premises…in the organization lawyer’s office…with the lawyer. Needless to say, this was new to me and I was shook out of my ass the whole time I was guzzling the finest ales available from your local grocery store.
What I also get to learn about is where many of my co-workers are from. And they come from some random places such as Vermont, Wyoming, Idaho, etc. Essentially, all the places I’ve never been. Which got me to thinking…none of those are places I’d ever actually want to go to either.
Now, I know that sounds closeminded but I have to pull the race card here. I don’t like to go to states where the closest black person is over a 1,000 miles away. I know its 2005, but errum, I don’t give a shit. While discussing travel I always get asked where I’m planning to go.
Co-Worker: So Panama also known as the Most Muhf****n’, where are you headed for on vacation?
Peregrination Panama: Anywhere there’s black people…um, I mean, Atlanta!
Co-Worker: Ah, I can dig it. You know whats nice this time of year? North Dakota. You should take a trip out there and just enjoy the air up there.
Peregrination Panama: You’re kidding right? The last black person that went there came back with a white wife and called for an end to affirmative action….um, I mean, right…North Dakota. You know, I might swing thru there on my way back from Montana.
I’ve always wondered about this because whenever I get to discussing travel with my friends we either always head for the same old black cities or new major cities. NOBODY ever thinks to want to go to Vermont. I actually have a friend from Idaho. A black one. Yet, the thought of going to Idaho makes me break out in hives and want to scratch trees and little furry bushytailed animals. I get the same reaction from thinking about Montana, Wyoming, bungee jumping, sailing, and BET.
I remember once a co-worker from Utah (it sounds like I work with the whitest people in America doesn’t it) was trying to convince me that Utah was a great place to live, regardless of race. Now, I don’t necessarily disbelieve him, I think he just has a skewed perception because he’s, well, white. That’s like me telling him that SouthWest Atlanta is the best place for anybody live regardless of color. Sure, it’s nice, but white folks just might feel out of place.
I think a lot of us are this way; afraid of overly white shit. I can’t lie, I known I am. Even though my mother is white, I wasn’t raised in white surroundings. I’ve been in diverse surroundings with heavy black influences and realities through most of my life. This causes me to feel uncomfortable in places where there’s an overabundance of white people. Like Vermont which is the whitest state in America. I mean gotdamn…96% white. That’s some scary shit. And I haven’t even been there and I don’t feel comfortable there.
I travel to Boston a lot nowadays and though I’m warming up to it, I’m still not totally comfortable there. Even though its a major city, my perceptions have gotten the best of me causing me to overthink things while I’m there. I’m often walking around with my guard up. If a damn squirrel comes at me sideways I’m concerned about it. And the fucked up thing is that there are lots of black people there. It just seems like we were all herded to certain parts of town. When you’re in the black part, you KNOW you’re in the black part. I think that just adds fuel to my problem because I’m looking around like, damn, how the hell did white people really manage to shepherd mother fuckers so that they know exactly where they are and should be at all times.
It’s crazy.
I’m sure lots more black people are like this too. Hey, let’s go to Vermont!?!?!!!
Nigga, you crazy??? They got the KKK there!!!!
How you know?
I don’t…but all them white people?? Somebody don’t like black folks!
So, I’d like to institute the official: Get Yo’ Black Ass Out The Hood And Explore America Foundation.
I plan on taking some kind of trip to a place that no black person has gone before…just as soon as I get some money and have enough black people by my side.
Who’s with me???
And I’m not talking camping…I’m talking camping, in Northern Idaho.
No longer will I be left out of work place conversations involving places that black people normally wouldn’t go!
No longer shall I fear overly white states. I shall focus my efforts on things that make more sense…like taking over the world and convincing Michael Jackson that making a hiphop album isn’t in his best interests.
People the world is ending.
Are you ready?
*****
Have you been going to check out The INS? The Insensitive News Syndicate? Well?? If not, get thee to a nunnery (big ups to Hamlet), and if you can’t find one, head over to the INS for some interesting takes on how news is supposed to be presented. Currently, I have an article up on the whole Stop Snitchin’ trend. I hate that damn trend. Enjoy!
