[***Administrative Notes: 1) Remember to go vote (scroll down) in the October Madness 2005 Tournament going on right now at both Jackson G. Tickle Enterprises and at the site of the a.n.d.y. of The Royal Youngs. We're at the Sweet Sixteen and one step closer to crowning the baddest brown skinned beauty. 2) Go check out Atlanta Urban Mix as I have a guest editorial up on the so-called "expiration" of the right for African-Americans to vote in 2007. Pure poppycock. Either way, check it out here: Voter Since 1870 ***]

If there’s one thing in life that every man should know in regards to keeping your money it’s this:

Never, ever, under any circumstances REALLY piss off your baby’s mama. This is what we refer to in the hiphop community, urban centers, and Usher concerts as…not a good look.

In my mind, that must be what happened to one Young Jeezy (born Jay Jenkins), whose baby mama, Nicole Dykes, is taking his ass to court in attempts to get child support payments for her 9-year old son, Really Young Jeezy, increased from $178 to roughly $20,000.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Wait just a damn minute…$178??? Are we to believe the self-proclaimed Snowman, who seems to be doing really well and whose album is now certified platinum, is really that bad of a person to only be providing $178 a month to his offspring??

No. Of course not. I’d be willing to put money, and I’d rather it be Jeezy’s money, on the fact that his kid isn’t starving or living in the most paltry of conditions. I have no proof, but I’m sure he slides his baby mama some money on the side as well. Why on the side you ask??

Well, let us think about this. He doesn’t call himself the Snowman because he’s a meteorologist who accurately predicts snowfalls 99.5% of the time; or because he likes to stand in people’s front yards dressed in white. Take it a step further, he’s from Georgia and shuttles between Macon and Atlanta as his homesteads. Georgia is a southern state…we don’t like snow in the south. It fucks up EVERYTHING in the Dirty Dirty. But luckily, it rarely snows…and I mean rarely. So, that means he can’t really be referring to the actual powdery goodness that brings kids of all ages outside to play…can he?

Actually, yes…it’s just that this powdery goodness is illegal and keeps the Alphabet Boys doing stakeouts and home raids and has many differing street nomenclatures. Of course, I have no verification for this, but I know what snow means in my neighborhood, you do the math.

That’s riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!

Along with the potential for “illegal activities”, the T.R.A.P.S.T.R. (they like him, they like him) probably does what any well to do street pharmacist does, put everything in somebody else’s name.

“In court depositions, Jenkins denied owing a mansion or a house, a car or jewelry, but Dykes‚Äô lawyers singled out his diamond incrusted ’snowman’ pendant, as well as the platinum success of his debut album and the success of BNDH‚Äôs self-titled debut album, which spawned the radio hit ‘Dem Boyz.’ “ -Allhiphop.com article

Well, duuuuuuuh.

He hasn’t been rapping long enough to move everything into his own name and claim that he actually procured them through legal means. All of this is making sense to me at this point. This is just all apart of the game.

And what usually happens is that as long as you keep your baby mama happy by taking care of your kid and hooking her up every now and then, you both can live a blissful happy life.

Until…

…you piss her off. And pissing her off can come in many different flavors, complete with not giving her what she needs, or what she thinks she needs for the child. And let’s be real, she does not need $20,000 a month to take care of her child. I’ve lived in Atlanta. It’s a cheap ass city relative to say New York or D.C. She does, however, need $20,000 a month to show you how pissed off she is. Shit, do you know how much cut up I could get for $20,000???

When was the last time you heard the term cut-up?? No, really…

Even worse than pissing off your baby mama, is the fact that you are pissing of your baby mama and the majority of your money up to a certain point is apparently coming from “illegal” gains. You know who that brings into the equation?? The Feds. The people that do investigations into illicit activities and the like. So you pissed off your baby mama, and NOW, she’s trying to get your finances put on front street.

Damn, what part of the game is that??

Further, you have to comply. Sure you don’t “own” any of the properties you reside in or cars you drive. But somebody does, and if they start digging into records and find out that your mother, who works at Mrs. Winner’s, owns a $600,000 house, somebody’s going to start asking questions. And to further complicate shit, you are now an employee of Def Jam, a certified platinum artist, which means that despite the fact that you probably owe the label money, you have some money. AND…he owns a record lable, Corporate Thugz Entertainment for which he released his mixtape that landed him at Def Jam in the first place. There’s money floating around him and it’s coming from somewhere…and the truth is gonna set somebody’s ass free.

And all that could have been well and good and fine and lovely and TCB and Soul Glo.

But he probably went and pissed of his baby mama so now she’s taking his ass to court and requesting a ridiculous amount of money. The fucked up part is that he’s really attempting to claim that the $178 a month is what he should be liable for. Young Jeezy AKA The Trapper of the Year, my mellow my man, you just might be fucked up in the game, doggy.

You just can’t make loads of money illegally and piss off your baby mama. You just can’t. She hold’s the ultimate trump card…she has your kid!! And the second you piss her off, she can get your ass caught up and fucked in the game.

Of course, this might all be moot and maybe Young Jeezy really doesn’t have a penny to his name and I’m just blowing smoke. That’s kind of a pun considering the nature of this situation. Maybe all of the big money talk he’s doing on his album is just lies like so many other rappers claiming to be living well but really working at a parking garage or some shit, but I seriously doubt it. I tend to believe Young Jeezy has made a come up of sorts in life and whatever way he did it, more power to him.

You have to remember the cardinal rule though, do not, under any circumstances, piss off your baby mama. She has the courts on her side, unless she’s a crackhead.

In the end, his baby mama is gonna make the dopeboy go crazy, all because he probably pissed her off.

Peep the Article on Allhiphop.com

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 26th, 2005 at 9:31 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.