October Madness 2005-Sweet Sixteen (Part 2): She’s Your Queen To Be!
Ra Ra Ra…Sis Boom Bah!!
Welcome back ladies and gentlemen to day two of the Sweet Sixteen brought to you by the two baddest mofo’s lowdown around this town, the a.n.d.y. of The Royal Youngs and myself, the most sexxy Panama Muhf****n’ of Jackson G. Tickle Enterprises . Yes, we are narrowing the field down. Yes, we are shiny happy people holding hands (not me and the a.n.d.y., I meant that in the rhetorical, general, R.E.M. sense of the sentiment). Yes, I’m still the sexxiest mofo. Hell, all you gotta do is say yes.
What is the question?
I don’t know.
But that doesn’t stop the party from continuing on. On Friday, you all came and voted for the Jayne Kennedy bracket, and I’ll be back later to give an update on how that’s shaping up. So today, we have the Tamara Dobson bracket. Two things of note here:
1) I’m going to be using the same pictures I had before. Apparently quite a few of the pictures that I’ve been attempting to use have set off the sensors at work. Now, nobody’s said anything to me…but if I get one more hit on some site that pops up with, “Unable to access page due to Tasteless content.” Or “Sex”, well, let’s just say, JGT Enterprises may be no more since I won’t be able to keep working, which means I won’t be able to pay my bills, which means my electricity shuts down, which means I get evicted, which means I have no means for keeping up JGT. Let’s just say, I’ll try to add some new pictures tonight from home.
2) This past weekend was my alma mater’s homecoming. I am sleep deprived right now. That has caused minor delirium. I don’t even know what I’m typing right now. Hell, I’m not even sure where I’m at. You probably think I’m at work right now, but I’m (possibly) in the backseat of your truck with duct taped stretched out. What was the point of this paragraph? It didn’t have one, but every one needs a two and I might say more random shit than normal.
Pointlessness, another side effect of hunger. I need a Snickers.
SO…
To the brackets, and make sure you hit up the a.n.d.y.’s site to vote today in the Vanity bracket. Voting will continue through Thursday so we can get our Elite Eight, then the Final Four, then the champ. If we were to keep dividing though, we could keep going to infinity. Just as with day one, I surveyed the hood to get some input from the locals…and since I was in Atlanta this weekend…
[***DISCLAIMER: To everybody in Atlanta whose number I have and I didn't call...well, I apologize. Blame it on attempts to get drunk, and failed attempts to be pissy drunk. And the fact that I apparently am unable to drink properly (and I don't mean liquor, I mean actually drink) as I almost killed myself off of a shot of Patron. Let me just say, when that shit goes down the wrong pipe...well, I thought I was going to die. Good times!!! ***]
…I got some input from some locals in Atlanta.
You can find me in the A…A…A…A…A…A…A…A!
And fuck The Landmark Diner in Buckhead for having shitty food at Red Lobster Prices…at 4am.
Tamara Dobson Bracket
Tamara Dobson AKA Cleopatra Jones…you are fine. Period. Point blank. You whip ass. We love you!
(1) Halle Berry (def. Sanaa Lathan, 25-23) vs. (3) Zoe Saldana (def. Ciara, 28-20)
Streets Are Talking About Halle Berry:
“Shawty loo’ good an’ shit. Ay folk, I’m tellin’ ya, ain’t nobody gonna fu’ wit her.” - My cousin Marcus, 24, SWATS
“It’s Halle Berry.” - Luscious Jenkins, 48, Simpson Road
“love Sanaa but Halle’s just Halle”- Monk (from the comments section)
“Halle-cuz she’s Halle and plays a crackwhore pretty well” -Carmen (from the comments section…I think she said what all of us were really feeling on the inside)
Streets Are Talking About Zoe Saldana:
“Hmmm…she’s black?” - Laticia, 20, Spelman College Junior, from Lithia Springs, GA
“You know, when I saw her in Drumline, she made a fan out of me. In fact, I’ll be her baby daddy, sugar daddy, daddy-long-legs, mac daddy, daddy mac, and pop daddy…hey, you think that’s overkill??” - Dorian, 23, Morehouse College alumni from Bedford, OH
“That girl look like a side of good God, with a piece ooooh lawd sprinkled on some hurt me good. I’m hungry, let’s go to The Beautiful. “ - Dennis, 27, Morehouse Alumni, from East Point, GA
Panama’s Pick: Halle Berry
Panama’s Prediction: Zoe Saldana (I think some folks would rather not see Halle win…but that’s just me)
(4) Tyra Banks (def. Meagan Goode, 31-17) vs. (2) Claudette Ortiz (def. Gabrielle Union, 26-22)
Streets Are Talking About Tyra Banks:
“Even with all that forehead, she’s still the finest alien in the streets.” - James, from my old apartment complex off of MLK, Westside Atlanta
“That’s one of the goodest looking women I’ve ever seen. Naw, she’s not the goodest, she’s the best!” - some ignant negro…who graduated with me from Morehouse
“You know, I just like how good she takes pictures. Skin looking all bronzed and sleek. Hell, I got a subscription to Victoria’s Secret because of her.” - Carl, 36, some cat I saw at JJ’s Rib Shack
Streets Are Talking About Claudette Ortiz:
“That girl so fine, I’d mop her up with some Ajax, and smile like I got brand new dentures after riding a roller coaster at Cedar Point.” - Leslie, somehow I think I got his quote wrong…I don’t know, College Park, GA
“Skinny little thang…add a little BBQ sauce and she’s good to go.” -my cousin Roy, 28, West Atlanta’s Bankhead Courts
“Man…you see that Cadillac rollin’ on 23’s??” - my cousin Roy’s brother Chris (not my cousin), 24, Bankhead Courts
Panama’s Pick: Claudette Ortiz
Panama’s Prediction: Tyra Banks
****
There you have what the streets are saying about the ladies of the lovely Tamara Dobson bracket. Make sure you vote…or die, and head over to the a.n.d.y.’s page to get your Vanity on. It’s almost time for the Championship!!!
October 24th, 2005 11:51
My sentiments EXACTLY!! Halle is STILL Halle so she’s got Zoe beat. Claudette is one of the most over-looked beauties in history PERIOD!! I’m casting my ballot for Halle and Claudette (I STILL want Kenya or Stacey to win it all though and I’m so not looking foward to having to choose between what is two of the most delectible, sexxiest, laffyest taffyest specimens known to recent pop culture).
October 24th, 2005 11:56
I don’t even know why I bother coming back here thinking that you would abandon this brackets thing. I think what bother’s me most is that I didn’t thin of it AND that you haven’t found a way to make money off of this. And, if we harnessed all the brain power that went into this, we might be able to rise as a people. Or at the very least, put an official end to the jeri curl!
October 24th, 2005 11:57
Halle. Sigh. We still love you, Sanaaaaaaa!
Tyra. Just to make the semis fair. LOL
October 24th, 2005 12:06
halle
claudette
October 24th, 2005 12:21
Halle
Tyra
October 24th, 2005 12:34
Halle
Claudette
October 24th, 2005 12:50
Halle
Tyra
October 24th, 2005 12:58
Halle
Tyra
October 24th, 2005 13:06
Halle
Claudette
October 24th, 2005 15:20
Halle (since she has more black than Zoe)
Tyra
October 24th, 2005 15:26
Halle and Tyra
October 24th, 2005 15:43
based on those pictures Zoe and Tyra
October 24th, 2005 16:18
Halle
Tyra
October 24th, 2005 16:36
Halle - she’s epitome of physical beauty
Tyra - Claudette is gorgeous, but Tyra has the versatility to flip her look all kind of crazy ways and still look beautiful…7head and all!
October 24th, 2005 17:05
Halle and Tyra…(still dont get the City High hype…maybe i’m just not seeing Ms. Ortiz’s appeal in these pics)
October 24th, 2005 17:13
Miss Halle “My Movie Catwoman Sucked So Bad, But At Least Men Paid And Got To Drool Over Watching Me in a Catsuit ” Berry…
Tyra-I could’ve chosen Claudette if i had seen her in a few different pics…alas ( whistles innocently;)) )
October 24th, 2005 17:19
halle/claudette
October 24th, 2005 18:17
Zoe Saldana
Tyra Banks
Sanaa was robbed
October 24th, 2005 18:26
halle
claudette
halle’s got the goods, and she knows how to use’em. I love zoe, but she’s not quite in the same league.
i’m surprised at m’self, but i’m going with claudette. tyra’s been getting more and more airbrushed, and this is based on the body people have now, not the (awesome!) one they had back in the day.
October 24th, 2005 19:28
halle, tyra
October 24th, 2005 19:30
Zoe - Halle has history, but for right now .. Zoe. Plus, those pictures of Halle just weren’t that good.
Claudette - Without the makeup, Claudette has it .. & the forehead is still kinda scary to me
October 24th, 2005 19:39
zoe over halle since we’re judging on the RIGHT NOW
Claudette over tyra…claudette should win the whole thing, plus take the make up off tyra and its dr. jekel and mr hyde believe that
christina over kenya….clash of the titans here but i gotta give it to christina cuz i wanna give it to christina!
stacy over maia…sanam would kill me if i said anything different!
October 24th, 2005 19:41
As much as I hate to do it, I have to pick Halle over Zoe. Drumline did it for me. Then when I saw her in Guess Who it cemented that if I ever met Zoe, I would lick the bottoms of her feet and kiss her dad on the mouth. Ok maybe not, but I would try to get at her. And I pick Claudette over Tyra “five-head” Banks.
October 24th, 2005 21:16
Halle and Claudette. Tyra is a model, I think way too many of her pictures are digitally altered
October 24th, 2005 23:51
Halle
Claudette
October 25th, 2005 01:11
this is tough..I had to go lesbian for a minute instead of thinking like a dude..wait..is that the same mentality?
hmm Halle because her boobs aren’t as fab as mine..I gotta be the busty one in the gay relationship…
and uh uh..Claudette because if I had a lesbian lover who I wanted to see in the morning…she seems less scary under all the glam..
and I haven’t slept in 48 hrs so this comment needs to self-destruct after I post it…thanks
October 25th, 2005 01:14
zoe cuz i likes her and halle has six toes on her right foot. Six Toed Monsters do not belong on this here tourney!!
claudette cuz I’m tired of Tyra. she’s annoying, and I bought her book back in the day and worshipped it daily and the chick finally got annoying.
October 25th, 2005 02:43
Halle
Claudette
October 25th, 2005 06:56
Halle
Claudette
October 25th, 2005 13:53
Halle
Claudette
October 25th, 2005 17:16
Halle
Tyra
October 25th, 2005 18:53
halle
tyra
gabrielle’s loss makes me sad
October 25th, 2005 19:13
Halle
Claudette
October 25th, 2005 20:39
halle
claudette
October 25th, 2005 22:02
Halle/Claudette
October 26th, 2005 12:40
halle
claudette
October 26th, 2005 12:48
I don’t even know who the Zoe jawn is but she’s hot.
Gotta go with Halle though, she might be crazy but the track record is unstoppable.
Claudette over Tyra just because Tyra is the one in this bracket that I’ve seen without makeup.
October 26th, 2005 13:32
zoe (the vote of a benign hater, rather than a hatin’ ass hater)
Tyra (the T stands for…)
October 26th, 2005 15:00
Halle
Tyra
October 26th, 2005 16:07
Halle
Tyra
October 27th, 2005 12:33
Zoe
Claudette
October 27th, 2005 13:50
Zoe
Tyra
October 29th, 2005 03:01
I love Halle like no other, but I have to give this one to my sexy dominicana. It’s all about Zoe.
I guess I might as well stick with the new school, I gotta give love to claudette ortiz. Tyra is tired
November 19th, 2005 04:08
Three phrases should be among the most common in our daily usage. They are: Thank you, I am grateful and I appreciate.