October Madness 2005-Round 1: She’s Your Queen To Be!
Welcome to October Madness 2005!!!
*loud screams and soft hushed yells*
Wait, what is October Madness 2005?? I’m glad you asked. This is where the ignorantly arrogant bastards at Jackson G. Tickle Enterprises (I’m so arrogant I linked myself in my own post…sometimes I amaze even myself) in conjunction with that ignant n-word over at The Royal Youngs, d.young AKA the a.n.d.y., bring you the “field of 32 bracket” to determine…
…the baddest brownskinned (or at least melanin packing) beauty of 2005!!!
Yes people, we’re bringing the magic that is the March Madness NCAA Tourney to your computers and giving you the opportunity to enjoy the exploitation and misogyny of judging women based strictly on their physical assets. No, Lauryn Hill will not be here. Neither will Erykah Badu. I love them, believe you me I do, but here we discuss the merits and physical voraciousness that is those women who just got that “thing” without including their mental acuity and personality.
Both myself and the a.n.d.y. have scientifically put together a field of 32 women and properly seeded them using points, algebra, calculus, and homing pigeons. It’s not a game.
Check out the rules we abided by here.
Are you ready?? Well then…
Let’s get ready to rumbllllllllllllllllllle!!!
*yells and more hushed screams*
Here’s how it works. Over the next few weeks, on Friday and Monday, the a.n.d.y. and myself, me…Panama…he’s sexxy, will be bringing you a bevy of beautiful women who will be pitted against one another in attempts to bring us to our champion in NCAA tourney form. We’ll go from 32 to 16 to 8 to 4 to 2 to a champion. She’s your queeeeeeen to be!!
We have four “regional” brackets in honor of the beauties that came before them: Pam Grier, Tamara Dobson, Jayne Kennedy, and Appollonia. Ladies, we salute you. And if you are unfamiliar with any of them…
…google ‘em bitch.
Download your October Madness 2005 Bracket here. Download file
We request your opinions and debate. To facilitate it properly, myself and the a.n.d.y. will be each taking a bracket and providing pictures and giving a brief discussion of each beauty followed by our pick and our prediction. We’d like to ask for your help by having you place your pick and any discussion/arguments you’d like to present in the comments. That includes folks that never comment or participate. People, we need your help!!
We’ll start today with the the a.n.d.y. handling the Pam Grier Bracket and the Most Muhfuckin’ (see, I did it again…I love myself) handling the Jayne Kennedy Bracket.
It’s Round One bitches…Round One! Please toggle between both sites and place your votes and provide your decisions.
Let us begin…
Jayne Kennedy Bracket
Round 1
(1) Kenya Moore vs. (8) Kerry Washington
Kenya Moore: One of the absolute finest women the good Lord, or whoever you pray to, has blessed this planet with. Sweet, supple, scintillating sexxiness with curves that would make geometry jealous. Despite the fact that she manages to finagle her way into some of the worst films known to man (Trois, anyone?), she always stands out because she is just that damn fine. I’d sop her up with a biscuit from Popeye’s and some Wonderbread while doing the hambone in North Carolina. She’s a number one seed for a reason! Bumaya Kenya! Bumaya Kenya!
Kerry Washington: An oft slept on beauty who is finally starting to get her rightful buzz (mostly via the movie Ray), Kerry Washington is one bad motha-shutyomouth. Man, as bad as She Hate Me was, it was worth watching just to see her laid out and bent back getting her sexxy love kitten on. Pretty face, lovely physique, and a walk that makes me want to slap the Pillsbury Doughboy…I’m like Ill and Al Scratch, “I’ll take her.”
Panama’s Pick: Kenya Moore
Panama’s Prediction: Kenya Moore
a.n.d.y.’s Pick: Kenya Moore
a.n.d.y.’s Prediction: Kenya Moore
(2) Stacey Dash vs. (7) Tatyana Ali
Stacey Dash: Admit it, she’s just bad. No matter how old she is she STILL manages to look good. In Kanye’s video for “All Falls Down” you watched as she ran through the airport, “bouncing.” Yeah, me too. I can’t help it. It’s hard to find a woman with her kind of everlasting beauty. Sometimes words aren’t enough to fully encapsulate a person’s beauty. Sometimes all you have to say is: Stacey Dash.
Tatyana Ali: Little Ashley has grown up into quite the woman. Yeah she’s moreso cute than, say, BOOM BAM POW with body for days! But I’d wager that 9 out of 10 men would still want to bend her over a 1967 Chevrolet Impala under the California moon. She has looks that won’t quit and she can sing. I should know, I bought the album Kiss The Sky. She’s got the hair and she’s got the smile. She’s got that nice bone structure. That’s attractive like none other.
Panama’s Pick: Stacey Dash
Panama’s Prediction: Stacey Dash
a.n.d.y.’s Pick: Stacey Dash
a.n.d.y.’s Prediction: Stacey Dash
(3) Christina Milian vs. (6) Res
Christina Milian: Man oh MAN! She is hands down one of the most attractive women in Hollywood. She’s got that lovely bronze complexion with the nice slim but with curves body. She…could get it. The way her ass was getting tossed through the black mud/ink in the “Dip It Low” video just showed that she was without a doubt one of the finest aerial women of all time. She’s got the sexxy girl next door accentuated with lovely hair that sometimes matches her skin tone, which works for me. Christina Milian…you are my queen!
Res: Some women just have that uber-sexy look about them that screams attractiveness. Largely unknown to the pop culture audiences, her vicious body and deep transient face just beg for some tender love and care. Hell, I’ll be her TLC. Luscious skin tones and an athletic build that just. will. not. stop. makes me wanna be her “Ice King” anytime. She’s sexxy as all hell.
Panama’s Pick: Christina Milian
Panama’s Prediction: Res
a.n.d.y.’s Pick: Christina Milian
a.n.d.y.’s Prediction: Christina Milian
(4) Maia Campbell vs. (5) Alicia Keys
Maia Campbell: In her heyday, she was one of the baddest chicks to hit every low budget film out there. She just had that thing that had every dude wanting more. Had she done a nude spread in a black man’s magazine, it would have gone Diamond. She just has the right combination of everything, body, skin, bones, and those come get me bedroom eyes. Thumbs up for Maia!!!! You make me proud.
Alicia Keys: She jumped onto the scene as the piana playing girl next door. Who knew that when she got up from behind the piano bench, we had a chick with some thick thighs and a little ass. Hey, her mom is white, she was gonna lose out somewhere. Very few women have sexxy eyes like she does or have that emanating beauty that the songstress maintains. Not a big fan of her music, but gorgeous is gorgeous…and Alicia Keys, is gorgeous.
Panama’s Pick: Maia Campbell
Panama’s Prediction: Alicia Keys
a.n.d.y.’s Pick: Alicia Keys
a.n.d.y.’s Precition: Alicia Keys
***
There you have it, the Jayne Kennedy Bracket in all of its splendiforous glory. Shoot on over to the a.n.d.y.’s spot to check out the Pam Grier bracket and place your votes and arguments. It’s time to crown a queen. And tune in Monday to check out the Tamara Dobson Bracket and the Appollonia Bracket.
October 14th, 2005 01:46
kerry, stacey, christina, alicia
October 14th, 2005 01:51
kerry
stacey
christina
alicia
October 14th, 2005 06:50
Kenya
Stacey
Res
Maia
October 14th, 2005 07:17
Kenya
Stacey
Christina
Maia
October 14th, 2005 07:53
Kenya
Stacey
Christina
Maia
And I’m predicting Esther Baxter to go all the way. EARLY!
October 14th, 2005 09:22
Kenya
Stacey
Christina
Maia
Good thing you guys had rules. I almost let my personal feelings (read: hateration) cloud my opinion on this one.
October 14th, 2005 10:02
kerry
tatyana
christina
alicia
October 14th, 2005 10:15
kerry
stacey
christina
maia
October 14th, 2005 10:40
Kenya
Stacey
Res
Alicia
You guys are ambitious with your shit…did you really go pdf?? I am super impressed..damn overachievers….LOL
October 14th, 2005 10:44
I refuse to vote. But I must say I clicked on the link for the bracket thinking it wouldn’t be real. Well u sure outdid your sexxy self with this one!
October 14th, 2005 11:07
Okay, I’m mad that I am a heterosexual woman, but am really wondering who is going to win! Maybe it’s my competitive nature. These picks were harded for me than the Pam Grier Bracket.
Kenya
Tatyana
Christina
Maia
October 14th, 2005 11:44
Kerry Washington
Tatyana Ali
Christina Milian
Alicia Keys
this was a tough tough bracket, i had to really do some soul searching and doesn’t rule #1 apply to a few of the chicks here in this bracket - except for arbitrary cameos? this is real democracy - no politics.
October 14th, 2005 12:03
i’m just realizing that this bracket IS a little bit more competitive than pam grier. there’s no easy victories (ie: esther vs ashanti) here
October 14th, 2005 12:15
Kerry
Stacey
Res
Alicia
October 14th, 2005 12:38
Kenya
Tatyana
Christina
Maia
October 14th, 2005 12:46
Kenya
Tatyanna
Res
Maia
October 14th, 2005 13:09
Kerry-people are sleeping on her
Stacey Dash-I need to know what she’s doing, so I can do it
Maia Campbell-hands down
Res-that’s my girl. Unique-looking is cool.
October 14th, 2005 13:28
first, hello Panama…*youngin’ transplant*
Kenya
Stacey Dash
Res (hands down)
Alicia Keys
October 14th, 2005 14:52
kerry washington - co sign with mcnappy…SLEPT ON (we NEED this upset peoples)
Stacey Dash - cute ashley banks ain’t have a chance in hell
Res - i was tellin’ panama that this one to me almost breaks down into personal perspective on beauty.
Alicia Keys - toughest matchup…couldn’t pick Maia just cause i couldnt figure if she was the random attractive chic from parenthood or the random attractive chic from in the house
October 14th, 2005 15:12
res IS crazy sexy; I played her CD out…she got me through a tough time…although I prefer christina’s body. now I’m rethinking my vote. I was trying not to be biased now I’m all confused. no bush/kerry shit up in here.
October 14th, 2005 15:23
I know a lot of folks are having serious breakdowns on trying to come up with a vote. Hell as much as I love Christina Milian myself I REALLY love Res. That shit just tore me to pieces. Damn matchups!!! If it wasn’t for the fact that me and the a.n.d.y. did them I’d hate the selection committee!!!
And I almost had a pschological debate with myself about Kenya Moore and Kerry Washington. No…for real. See that’s how great this October Madness is…it drives you truly maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.
October 14th, 2005 16:36
killa,
i would also like to go on the record to say that nicole narain and lisa bonet are notoriously absent from the ,adness. they are both, at the very least, elite eight. LOL
October 14th, 2005 17:30
kerry washington
stacey dash
christina milian
alicia keys
October 14th, 2005 18:11
Kenya-cuz she’s old school,
Stacey-cuz she’s old school,
Res-she has gorgeous eyes, besides, men just got put on to Christina from her “dip it low” video..i’m not buying into her being this sex godess; she reminds me of a little girl playing in her moms’ club gear; it’s cute, but not sexy;),
Maia-Alicia’s lisp annoys the hell outta me
October 14th, 2005 18:51
kenya
dash
res
maia
October 14th, 2005 18:57
Kenya
Stacey
Christina
Maia
October 14th, 2005 19:36
I wasn’t going to vote…but ahh hell I’ll let the little nigga inside of me shine through for a second.
Kerry
Stacey
Res
Alicia
Now that I’ve seen my selection I’m a bit sickened at the fact that I appear to be an ass an thighs type of nigga. LOL
October 14th, 2005 20:02
kenya
tatiana
you’re killin me with this res/christina match-up…res is hot to da def but christina’s body is really hot too however her tan always seems fake. i’m going with res
maia
October 14th, 2005 20:11
kerry
tatyana
christina
alicia
October 14th, 2005 20:52
Kenya/Stacey/Res/Maia
October 15th, 2005 00:21
Kenya definitely!! Sorry Kerry but Kenya has been in my top 3 for a loooooong time.
Stacey fa sho!! She had me since ‘Month Money’. This wasn’t a fair match up at all.
I gotta go with Res cause Christina is too overrated.
I refuse to place a vote between Alicia and Maia. I’m dead stuck in the middle. That can go either way.
October 15th, 2005 12:43
Kenya
Stacey
Christina
Maia
October 15th, 2005 18:00
Kerry
Res
Maia
Stacey
October 16th, 2005 03:23
ROFLMAO… I’m sitting here listening to Whoop That Trick while reading this. LOL what a backdrop.
Umm… WOW… you picked some winners Panama… Hmmm… okay…
1. Kenya - hands down proof that God can sometimes be cruel, and you CAN indeed have it all… she is the most beautiful woman on the planet.
2. Stacey - I’ve never been a fan of her nose, but she’s gorgeous with gorgeous eyes and then she has ass… *clapping for Stacey’s genetic windfall* Go girl.
3. Res - Wow. Whatchu know about RES MAYUN??? 700 Mile Situation is my SHIT!!! And Tsunami??? *sigh* She’s a little on the slim side… but Christina is just lame, lame, lame in comparison, first off she’s like 12 isn’t she? Oh wait, but you’re only 14. ROFLMAO So I’ll excuse you.
4. Maia - DAYUM!!! I forgot about Maia!!! She’s absolutely positively goooorgeous. I remember looking at her when she was on “In the House” or whatever the hell the name of that show was, and grunting at the screen. A sure sign that she’s beautiful LOL!! This wasn’t a fair match up either… Alicia is WACK in comparison to that skin tone, and those eyes…
This was cuuuute… =))) I’m surprised you didn’t throw Ananda up in here… =)
October 16th, 2005 21:43
kenya
tatyana
res
maia
October 16th, 2005 22:03
I’m soooooooooo mad muhfuckas stole my idea ‘n ain’t even include me in this shit!! I see how it is! Fuck you very much. If we wasn’t boys I’d stab you…
October 16th, 2005 23:28
@da angriest nigga alive: my mellow my man, i came up with this idea around April and put you and a few others up on game. i just never pulled the trigger and got it up and running. be easy folk. thanks for not stabbing me and shit.
October 16th, 2005 23:43
Your bracket was much more difficult than a.n.d.y’s but here are my picks.
Kerry Washington, Stacey Dash, Christina Milian, and Maia Campbell
October 17th, 2005 06:59
Here are my picks:
Kerry Washington
Stacey Dash
Res
Maia Campbell
October 17th, 2005 14:50
Kenya Moore
Stacey Dash
Christina Milian
Maia Campbell
October 17th, 2005 18:05
Kerry, Stacey, Res, Alicia
October 17th, 2005 23:06
Kerry, Stacey, Christina, Alicia
October 18th, 2005 12:17
forgot to vote like the dumbass I am!
Kenya
Stacey
Christina
Maia
October 18th, 2005 13:58
Kenya Moore
Stacey Dash
Christina Milian
Maia Campbell
October 18th, 2005 15:31
Kerry
Stacey
Christina
(neither, but if forced….)Maia
October 18th, 2005 15:42
Kenya
Stacey
Christina
Maia
October 18th, 2005 17:45
Kerry
Stacey
Christina
Alicia
October 18th, 2005 19:28
Kenya
Stacey
Res
Maia (almost picked Alicia, but she has bad skin!)
October 18th, 2005 19:47
btw, if anyone reading this has NOT seen Res perform live, please do so before you die.
I would almost go so far as to say that it should be a prerequisite to voting.
October 18th, 2005 21:48
Hands down:
Kerry
Stacey
Res
Maia
October 19th, 2005 04:58
Kerry
Stacey
Christina
Alicia
October 19th, 2005 23:02
Kenya
Stacey
Res
Alicia
October 20th, 2005 11:24
This bracket is ridiculously difficult, but someone has to win…
*Kenya (Kerry could’ve beat a bunch of other jawns, but not her)
*Res
*Maia (easiest win in the bracket.. In The House reruns are the only time I’ll watch TV One)
*Stacey (timeless… nuff said)
November 16th, 2005 18:11
maia campbell nude
http://img463.imageshack.us/img463/1039/maia9oj4mo.jpg
December 1st, 2005 02:18
Kerry, stacey, christina, maia(i realy want to marry her)
May 30th, 2006 04:12
Kerry Washington
Tatyana Ali
Christina Milian
Maia Campbell
July 31st, 2006 17:54
Kerry Washington
Stacy Dash
Christina Milian
Alicia Keys