I’ll See You When I Get There
Before I get started, I’d like to send a shoutout to everybody who participated in the First Annual Rap Battle here at JGT. To Wise Diva, Diggs, Xquizzyt1, Jarrod, Monk, builtfromwax, D.Young, Humanity Critic (who came in with one late verse and pretty much shut shit down), and Brutha Code (go to the battle to link to folks sites, I’m too lazy to put up everybody’s link). It was a lot of fun and nobody took anything personal from what I could tell. And they say black folks can’t act civil! To the rappers…good damn job and we’ll do it again sometime.
*****
How many of you professional black people out there work in an office majoritoraly (I love making up words) filled with white people?
*hands, hands everywhere*
Damn, that looks like almost everybody.
Well, I’m no different. And I must say that working in a “diverse” office has been very much eye opening for me in the sense that I’ve learned about things that I would never ever learn about on my own. I hear about places I didn’t know existed that are mere minutes from my home. I get to hear about every different flavor of beer known to man, which doesn’t matter much to me since I don’t really drink beer.
However, I’ve also been able to participate in workplace innings (similar to outings, except they took place within the halls of the office) intended to celebrate the end of prohibition. This is where I learned that white people truly aren’t afraid of anything because actual drinking of whiskey’s, scotch’s, and other shit you just don’t think to order at the club were being consumed on work premises…in the organization lawyer’s office…with the lawyer. Needless to say, this was new to me and I was shook out of my ass the whole time I was guzzling the finest ales available from your local grocery store.
What I also get to learn about is where many of my co-workers are from. And they come from some random places such as Vermont, Wyoming, Idaho, etc. Essentially, all the places I’ve never been. Which got me to thinking…none of those are places I’d ever actually want to go to either.
Now, I know that sounds closeminded but I have to pull the race card here. I don’t like to go to states where the closest black person is over a 1,000 miles away. I know its 2005, but errum, I don’t give a shit. While discussing travel I always get asked where I’m planning to go.
Co-Worker: So Panama also known as the Most Muhf****n’, where are you headed for on vacation?
Peregrination Panama: Anywhere there’s black people…um, I mean, Atlanta!
Co-Worker: Ah, I can dig it. You know whats nice this time of year? North Dakota. You should take a trip out there and just enjoy the air up there.
Peregrination Panama: You’re kidding right? The last black person that went there came back with a white wife and called for an end to affirmative action….um, I mean, right…North Dakota. You know, I might swing thru there on my way back from Montana.
I’ve always wondered about this because whenever I get to discussing travel with my friends we either always head for the same old black cities or new major cities. NOBODY ever thinks to want to go to Vermont. I actually have a friend from Idaho. A black one. Yet, the thought of going to Idaho makes me break out in hives and want to scratch trees and little furry bushytailed animals. I get the same reaction from thinking about Montana, Wyoming, bungee jumping, sailing, and BET.
I remember once a co-worker from Utah (it sounds like I work with the whitest people in America doesn’t it) was trying to convince me that Utah was a great place to live, regardless of race. Now, I don’t necessarily disbelieve him, I think he just has a skewed perception because he’s, well, white. That’s like me telling him that SouthWest Atlanta is the best place for anybody live regardless of color. Sure, it’s nice, but white folks just might feel out of place.
I think a lot of us are this way; afraid of overly white shit. I can’t lie, I known I am. Even though my mother is white, I wasn’t raised in white surroundings. I’ve been in diverse surroundings with heavy black influences and realities through most of my life. This causes me to feel uncomfortable in places where there’s an overabundance of white people. Like Vermont which is the whitest state in America. I mean gotdamn…96% white. That’s some scary shit. And I haven’t even been there and I don’t feel comfortable there.
I travel to Boston a lot nowadays and though I’m warming up to it, I’m still not totally comfortable there. Even though its a major city, my perceptions have gotten the best of me causing me to overthink things while I’m there. I’m often walking around with my guard up. If a damn squirrel comes at me sideways I’m concerned about it. And the fucked up thing is that there are lots of black people there. It just seems like we were all herded to certain parts of town. When you’re in the black part, you KNOW you’re in the black part. I think that just adds fuel to my problem because I’m looking around like, damn, how the hell did white people really manage to shepherd mother fuckers so that they know exactly where they are and should be at all times.
It’s crazy.
I’m sure lots more black people are like this too. Hey, let’s go to Vermont!?!?!!!
Nigga, you crazy??? They got the KKK there!!!!
How you know?
I don’t…but all them white people?? Somebody don’t like black folks!
So, I’d like to institute the official: Get Yo’ Black Ass Out The Hood And Explore America Foundation.
I plan on taking some kind of trip to a place that no black person has gone before…just as soon as I get some money and have enough black people by my side.
Who’s with me???
And I’m not talking camping…I’m talking camping, in Northern Idaho.
No longer will I be left out of work place conversations involving places that black people normally wouldn’t go!
No longer shall I fear overly white states. I shall focus my efforts on things that make more sense…like taking over the world and convincing Michael Jackson that making a hiphop album isn’t in his best interests.
People the world is ending.
Are you ready?
*****
Have you been going to check out The INS? The Insensitive News Syndicate? Well?? If not, get thee to a nunnery (big ups to Hamlet), and if you can’t find one, head over to the INS for some interesting takes on how news is supposed to be presented. Currently, I have an article up on the whole Stop Snitchin’ trend. I hate that damn trend. Enjoy!
October 6th, 2005 11:04
LOL…oh my gosh. I have never commented, I just keep seeing a link here on just about every blog I go to and I had to see why. You’re a fool. (In a good way.) I felt the same way in college when my friend asked if I wanted to go home with her for a break….to Connecticut. Isn’t that where Martha Stewart lives? I went…and much like you described black folks knew their place. So I’ll have to pass on this one. White folks can continue to talk about Colorado Springs and other great camp grounds….I’m good.
October 6th, 2005 12:00
Okay I was sooooo with you UNTIL you said “camping.” Umm… X’s idea of roughing it, is staying in some random hotel like, the Amerisuites, where there’s no room service. Hmmph. No flat iron? No contintental breakfast? No showers??? Umm… as my cousin would say… y.o.y.o (you on your own). LOL
But umm if you come up off the camping idea… I will roll out with you to Minnesota, or Nebraska, or wherever else… let a playa know. LOL
October 6th, 2005 12:08
LMAO @ the shout-out to Hamlet! As for going somepace no black person has gone before………been there, done that and NOT looking to do it again. I grew up around the clear society for eighteen years. I’ve camped in West Virginia, RV’d to placed in Kentucky, and drank freshwater in Yellow Springs…….I’m good. Did not do anything special for me. However, if you need a guide I will TELL you where to go.
October 6th, 2005 12:09
Sign me up!!! And after we see Amur’ka, let’s head over to Norway. I don’t know shyt about Norway but I have never heard of anyone, Black, white, check-other going there. And you know, there are places right in PG county that darkies don’t go to. Why, there’s a skeet shooting spot right up the street from me. Rifles and confederate flags everywhere!!! And you know what? I’ll tell you. You can probably go in any HS in America–that claims to be integrated,and there are certain tables where white kids sit and Black kids sit. You could just roll over to a white table and plop your Black behind down!! Now there’s a vacay spot for that ass!
October 6th, 2005 12:09
@LL: I’m SO mad at the term “the clear society”. I’m done homey. Straight up done!
October 6th, 2005 14:10
that’s interesting…I grew up in predominantly white neighborhoods, schools, and churches so I didn’t have that uncomfortable element added until AFTER I attended an HBCU. But now? shiid I get REAL antsy when Becks and her crew are the only ones around..and damn, I HATE to admit this shit, but I have a LOT less tolerance than I used to. I mean, I can hang with my white friend Tammy and have a good time shooting the shit, but if she took me home, I don’t think I would feel at ease, to the point where I am chillin…hmm. something to think about.
October 6th, 2005 15:30
I’m with you Panama. As a woman about to embark on a camping trip in rural Minnesota (not by my choice, I figure I can do just about anything. Let me know the whens and wheres… For the record, I don’t have a problem being in areas where there aren’t too many Black people, but I do miss my people when I am there. Plus, I hate the looks and stupid questions I get in those environments. It’s like others look at you to represent all Blacks.
October 6th, 2005 15:43
I was just writing about how I know too much about white people. I can be on Klan Ave driving 20 mins outside of Columbus (I’m from Ohio, you know the Red State) so I’m scraight on the white exploration. You’ll have to tell me about the lodges in Utah when you get back, buddy!
October 6th, 2005 17:36
Dude, I’m so with you on the uncomfortable feeling those places give me. It’s kinda hard to describe but I think it has something to do with me always being around a majority of black folks for all my life. I am trying to see more places but I’m trying to get out of the continental US…gotta get my passport game up!
October 6th, 2005 23:34
Dude, I’m so ahead of you. i have multiple camping trips to Vermont under my belt! I been on beach and shopping trips to Maine, and I been all up in New Hampshire too.
All I gotta say is the folks in them states need to know some Colored folks! I went to all the small tiny towns there, and I literally felt like a zoo animal…folks were STARING at me with no shame at all. I went with lots of colored kids too, so needless to say we were all the spectacle round them parts. People weren’t like…NASCAR racist or anything…they just looked mad surprised to see a bunch of coloreds at once. LOL. I also got the feeling like it was very Aryan Nation up in vermont. everyone was blonde as hell with blue eyes. looked like a real live abercrombie & fitch catalog… it’s really a whole nother america in backwoods new england.
October 7th, 2005 00:40
Damn. All this “white talk” musta been like premonition er sompthing, Main. My white ass ex–roomate just knocked at the door talkin’ ’bout, “Let’s get a drink.” Get a drink? You gonna pick some white ass bar that’s full of m#th#f!ck@s that look like they used the word “nigger” recently. You gonna get all fucked up and wanna start some fight with some 384 lb muu–uaphucka who looks like he snaps necks for a living. That’s what I was thinkin’. What I said was “Coo’”. Aye, a drinks a drink.
October 8th, 2005 00:55
oh my goodness, you got it right the first time.
i can really walk about 3 or 4 blocks, and be in the ‘white’ part of town, and yeah, i’m in Boston. it’s the difference between having a pothole filled on some same-day shit, and having that mofo sit there for 2 damn months, while people’s cars crutches wheelchairs get all to’ down tryin’ to get past it. i shit you not, there was a 5 feet wide hole in the street, and they didn’t put so much as a steel plate over that bitch. they put one of those wooden fold-up things in it (with a broken reflector), so people would see it as they drove up.
Dumb asses.
I like this blog. I’ll be back, yo.
October 9th, 2005 09:35
I went to Maine a couple years ago and it was the BOMB shit. And sure, I’m overstating “bomb,” but it was good shit. I did all the white people shit like trolley tours and a day trip to Nova Scotia. I would definitely go back for a weekend or so.
And Maine Lobster IS the bomb shit.
The funny thing is I saw Black people, but 70% of the ones I saw were African. Yes. Africans. In Maine. No bullshit. Africans are clearly the new Mexicans.
And not to mention that I’ve been to supposed white places like Omaha, Nebraska — but when I got there, the niggas had already discovered that place years ago.
October 10th, 2005 19:40
As much as I LOVE writing ‘rhymes’ and as many times as X told me to come through during the battle, I didnt :O(
Please somebody, anybody…tell me when the next one is before it gets too deep!?
Panama I added you to my daily reads so I can stop by when Im doing my blog-stops! I definitely can NOT miss out on the next one.
*rollin’ eyes @ some of the wack rhymes people spit…
lookin’ @ X…Brooklyn dont run, We RUN SHIT! LOL!
October 10th, 2005 22:30
ha! the story of my life. With a white step mother and the work I do I’m often the only black person around for miles. I think the last time I went up to Maine to visit the step mom’s family my dad, brother, and I were the only black people in town.
Shyt I’m sitting here in Armenia have been here for 5 days and haven’t seen a black person yet nor do I expect to. Now if I do happen to see one I’mma stare at them like a mofo…”wow I see black ppl”.
October 11th, 2005 20:27
Fuque dat shit! Where is my battle shoutout?!! My shit was hot! You ain’t never seen nobody start a rap like me!
LOL@The Urban Author. I can’t relate to the coworkers thing, but I got some stories about that “saltine cracker with a few pepper spots on it” school I went to!
October 11th, 2005 23:24
ALL I CAN GIVE YOU IS A ROUND OF APPLAUSE!!! I 110% FEEL U BRUTHA. From now on I will make it my business to check-in, and hopefully you have a chance to make it your business to check out my url. Peace & God Bless!