In the past, I’ve said “I don’t trust anyone, just wanna believe they wouldn’t go that route with me”. That was a half-assed comment on my part, but little did I know, I was really living by it. Like “You have cheated on me. It’s official. You’re an ass. Your spade partner looks right sexy with a baldy. The beer is in the fridge, I’m ordering pizza tonight, now let’s move on”.

anywhoo.com…

I knew Maria Maria and nem was X becasue it was LONGGGG! lol

I remember I was in a relationship where I cheated my *hoo hoo* off and he was sooo trusting……alas, men can be more trusting than women

@Maverick… why is it not okay that people cosign it like it’s the gospel?? Maybe it is for them. I mean it’s okay that you disagree, why is it not okay that people cosign if that’s been their experience???

Like you said, this post, was meant to be light-hearted and funny. When I asked Panama if I could be a guest poster, he gave me the alias, wrote my bio, and gave me a topic and one rule… that I be off the chain with it and write it like I was trying to crack myself up. That was excellent direction… because I succeeded.

I love the dialog that this post spurred… well except for the very first comment at the butt-crack of dawn from someone who hates me, yet sweats me so hard that they recognized my writing. Poor thing. But yeah, I love most of the conversation this post spurred because I think it’s a different way to look at what we perceive as “trust.” And in the end… what is “trust” anyway? I mean what is it really? Because every one knows that humans are capable of failure and disappointing behavior since they are inherently mperfect creatures. So what is “trust” for some maybe it is EGO… for others, maybe it’s a face we put on while we wait for the other shoe to drop.

But all this post was, was an observation… from my point of view… and I was off the hook with it and wrote it trying to crack myself up. But never did I write it, intending anyone to take what I said as gospel… only to read it, chuckle and either agree, or disagree.

*picking up singles off the floor and ducking backstage*

As for the third response, how is that confidence/arrogance? To sit up and say that you hadn’t thought about it…perhaps that is because you really trust someone. I don’t necessarily see what is arrogant about that. If the reason that you thought number 3 is because of number 1 or 2, that is one thing. But damn, aren’t we being a little judgemental here? To sit up and say that I never considered my girl to cheat on me and then say that I didn’t consider it because I am conceited, that just really doesn’t make too much sense to me. And the reason that I am disagreeing is because everyone is acting like it makes perfect sense. There are more scenarios out there than the ones that are being listed in this post…that is all I am saying. There are dudes who probably fit everything that was said…but there are dudes who don’t. So for this post to kinda come across as the “Trust Bible” as some people seem to be taking it, and making it as if this applies to every guy, that is what I disagree with…

i agree with u…

…u are takin’ this too seriously!

the post is an observation – a funny one at that! live a little, laugh a lot! funny observations are why Jerry Sienfeld will never have to work a day in his life…although i don’t find most of his observations funny.

the “observation” was that men trusted more than women do. now…had u recited from the book of “Gin and Juice” verse 1, stanza 4, line 14 that “we don’t love dem hoes…”, i’d say damn that’s gangsta!

but men do operate on the “She Ain’t Gon’ Do a Muhffukin’ Thang” theory. if someone asks a man, “what would you do if your woman cheated on you?” and he responds in the following:

1) “nah, i ain’t givin’ her a reason to do that”
2) “psst…whatever! she ain’t crazy”
3) “hmmm…i don’t know. never thought about that”

these are all derivatives of the “She Ain’t Gon’ Do a Muhffukin’ Thang” theory. arrogance, confidence…you can split semantic hairs all day. ‘cuz the very next question after those statements will be…

“why would she do that to ME!?”

oh “me” or “i”, that ego is speakin’ loud and clear!

You start your comment by trying to disprove what Johnny Kwest is saying. But in actuality, you haven’t disproved anything. He never said that he didn’t trust his woman and if she cheated on him, he wouldn’t be devastated because he decided to trust her. He was saying that moreso than his devastation being caused by his ego, it was caused by his misperceptions of the foundation of their relationship. And I am really dumbfounded at how someone can’t understand that may be a legitimate reason as to why someone is hurt by infidelity. Sometimes, it doesn’t come down to a dude being on his own dick as to why he is hurt by his girl cheating. Maybe it is because he really had faith in their relationship…

Secondly, there is a difference between confidence and arrogance. And all guys are not necessarily guaranteed to have either. There are plenty of men and women who lack these traits and who are counter-examples to this post because they have their lack of self-esteem or confidence abused. But even if you have confidence, that does not stop you from being humble and respecting others as you would have them respect you. I am adult enough to try and put that into practice in my own life. So, it is wrong to completely chalk up denial of your significant other’s cheating as ego-induced delusions resulting from over-confidence (aka arrogance). Sometimes it is just as simple as trusting someone because you had no reason not to…the simplest reasons are usually the right reasons…

While I respect Alastacia’s comments, I have to disagree also. It is easy to make these sweeping generalizations about a particular gender, race, religion, whatever…because generalizations allow people to avoid having to assess everyone they meet. They give basic rules that take the effort out of determining people’s character on an individual basis. But generalizations are wrong if they are not general. Unless you are saying something broad like all men have penises (which also might not be a good generalization nowadays), it is not a good practice to group everyone together. That is where stereotypes come in and this particular post is nothing but a stereotype…

I know this post was in all fun and maybe I am taking it a little too seriously, but we often fall in the trap of not realizing the ills of what we do. We hate for people to make generalizations about us, but we do it the first opportunity that we can…

Honestly, this sounds pretty personal to you…I don’t know for sure, but that is how it sounds. And I have seen that when people get hurt, generalizations come about more often because they misjudged the character of the person they were dealing with and would rather have some basic rules so that they don’t have to misjudge any longer. But with all of the factors and experiences that make up a person’s character, you can never completely generalize about a person because there is just as much of a chance that you are wrong as there is that you are right…