Jackson G. Tickle Enterprises Presents…Panama’s Propositions

I decided that though I have lots on my mind right about now, I feel like just randomly putting down whatevers in my brain. This could be the most dumberest thing I ever write, or it could be the most poetic display of pure passion.

Okay, not really the last one. But, I’m sexxier than you…what I say is law.

Got beef??

On to the randomnosity:

-I think M-A-Dollar Sign-E is going to hell. So let me get this right. You decide that you want to preach so you quit rapping. THEN you say that God told you to rap again so you come out with the most gay ass shit EVER on record (and yes I may join Murda Mase in hell for using profanity in the same sentence with God, however, Kanye does it and gets nominated for a Gospel Award so kiss my ass, Amen)and THEN since you’re shit TANKED like that shit the folks were looking for in Hunt for Red October, YOU DECIDE TO SIGN TO G-UNIT.

Mase, God is not happy with you right now.

I know this because I stopped Jesus while he was out walking with Kanye and asked him.

-Speaking of G-Unit…

***I MUST OFFER A PUBLIC APOLOGY FOR WHAT I’M ABOUT TO DIVULGE. HATE IT OR LOVE IT, I’M SORRY.***

…I purchased and read 50 Cent’s book.

I’m sorry.

Sike-a-boo-boo.

That shit is a page turner like a mug. I must say, if you told me tomorrow he made up 80 percent of the shit in that book, I’d believe you. But its some great fictitious non-fiction. I can see why he’s making a movie. Shit, I’ll be right up in line trying to see it too after reading the book. And it took me all of 2 and a half hours. That’s how into I was. Honestly, for some entertaining ass non-sense, check out his book.

-Suge Knight got shot in the leg at a club in Miami allegedly by a nigga in a pink shirt. There’s a joke in there somewhere. All I know is that the next time a muhfucka looks at me sideways for wearing a pink shirt, I’m going to inform him that a nigga in pink shot Suge Knight. In the realm of gangsta shit to do, that ranks up there with dangling a nigga from balcony for asking to see your books to check his royalties.

-Suge got shot continued. So apparently the dude that shot Suge (if he didn’t do it himself since apparently one story has him accidentally shooting himself in the leg) is still at large. I don’t know about you, but I think he’s going to stay at large. Largely dead. You don’t just shoot Suge Knight and expect to be cool the next day. My guess is the dude that shot Suge will never be found…ever. Or, they’ll find him in the same place they find Tupac.

-Did I mention he got shot at a Kanye West party??

-Dr. Dre’s The Chronic album is STILL one of the best pieces of music EVER. I’ve been bumping that album for the past few days and it still hasn’t gotten old, 12 years later. Dr. Dre on the other hand has.

-Gas prices suck ass…the fact that they are expected to INCREASE because of Hurricane Katrina makes me want to kick geckos and vacuum the desert.

-I’m trying to take a trip somewhere on Columbus Day Weekend? Any suggestions?

-Lots of folks hate on Tyrese, but in the movie Four Brothers, that was my man hunnid grand. It’s amazing how a role in a movie can make somebody a fan of somebody they absolutely hated, isn’t it. Marketing and propoganda are the downfall of society. Not coffee mugs.

For the record, I’ve been a Tyrese fan so I’m not talking about myself there.

-I actually think society’s downfall will come from a monkey, a tube of toothpaste, some speakerwire, and a short white man with a lisp. I have nothing to base this upon, nor any idea how it might happen. However, after consulting with Nastradamous and watching back episodes of MacGuyver, anything is possible.

-Speaking of anything being possible, wasn’t Wyclef Jean’s The Carnival a great damn album?? Say what say what…anything can happen. I half expected Wyclef to perform at the VMA’s considering that Sean “Puffy” Combs kept saying that anything could happen. I was however, not expecting to see Hammer.

-Hammer just can’t move like he used to. That almost hurt. However, seeing how folks still LOVE Hammer, evidenced by the complete and total focus of every person over 20 in the audience, makes me believe that Hammer might not hurt ‘em, but he still keeps ‘em in the mix. It was a proud moment for all persons who actually had a MC Hammer action figure back in the day, and more than one pair of Hammer pants.

-Next time you get into a slight verbal altercation with somebody, just use Jeremy Piven’s line from “Entourage” and watch the reactions…it totally always lightens the mood. The line, “let’s hug it out bitch.”

-McDonald’s has seriously stepped up their chicken sandwich game. So much so I’m not totally against the notion that there is some kind of crack by-product lacing all of their chicken sandwiches now. Think about that shit, they’ve sold billions of burgers, and it ain’t like its good for you, but folks keep going back.

Like crack.

-The game Oodles is addictive.

-Unlike ugly women.

-That wasn’t nice; ugly men too.

-I saw an old white woman walking down the street yelling early this morning. At first I thought she had Tourret’s or something. Turns out she was freestyling. It’s official, everybody is a rapper now. Best line I heard, “I chew Dentyne with Dentures and throw on my Depends/and i’m still racking in social security dividends.” That shit right there, classic.

-You know you’re getting old when you look at a pair of Jordan’s in a store, see the $130 price tag, get offended, and vow to never spend that much money on a pair of shoes again. This coming from the guy who used to buy a brand new pair of Butter Tim’s every 6 months, and has purchased two pair of $150 shoes on the same day. Sometimes, I scare myself.

-Actually, that’s not really true since nowadays I’m only wearing Chuck Taylor’s and this one pair of Puma’s I love. I think I’m going to issue a challenge to myself. No gratuitous purchases for the month of September.

-Methinks I’m going to fail my challenge.

-Methinks I have no idea what I’m talking about.

-Methinks I’m still the sexxiest muhfucka ever.

-Speaking of being sexxy, I was teaching some classes this summer on Statistics and Economics and after hearing me say how sexxy I was for the umpteenth time, well, my students made me a shirt that says “I Am Sexxy” with my picture on the front.

I almost shed a tear. Hands down, one of the best and most appropriate presents ever.

-Hands down, I’m just babbling.

I quit.

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