Jack Moves: Must Be Nice To Be…
***As a nice little segue and proof positive into what I’m talking about today, read this short little article here on CNN.com: DC Police Chief’s Car Get’s Stolen. Got to love crime!!!!***
Summer has finally hit and if you live in any major city in the United States you know what that means!??!?!!!!
Yes…a spike in crime! For all you bohos that don’t live in cities where as soon as it gets warm women start wearing less and niggas start robbing, shooting, and just actin’ a damn fool at record levels, let me explain how it works. In the winter, it’s cold. Crime tends to decrease because well…it’s cold and cold is a barrier to being outside because see el Negroes, we’re a tropical people. Women wear more clothes so niggas ain’t exactly showing out AS MUCH. But when it’s hot, oh hell yeah, it’s on like popcorn (which is a dumb ass saying, but I didn’t make it up). Folks spend more time outside loitering, blocking the entryway to my building, or have more flexibility to go robbing folks since they don’t have to worry about subzero temperatures chapping their asses. You see, heat makes us want to be outside, which means we spend our time outside, talking shit, hanging…then pissing eachother off and shootin’ eachother. It also means we like to go joyriding. But alas, many of us are broke and don’t have cars. So what do you do??
Car jack somebody!!! It’s so spectacular…YES!
I live in PG County, Maryland. This county is the richest majority black county in America, followed by DeKalb County, Georgia. There are lots of well to do black people with lots of nice houses and all that fluffy shit they say when trying to convince people to move into PG County. That’s all well and good, but what they forget to tell people is that PG County ALSO houses all the niggas that moved out of DC and took they’re bad ass kids with them who still think they live in the hood. Thing is, they don’t move to the nice neighborhoods. NO. They move to my neighborhood which is right over the DC line. You get to live in Maryland and act bougie yet maintain that lovely DC aura of crime and violence.
[***DISCLAIMER: DC really is a nice place. The whole city isn't wrought with crime and violence at all. However, being black, I tend to always end up in places that have higher crime rates than your average bear. Maybe I just love the hood, fuck if I know. MLK BITCH WHAT!!!!!! But if you are from DC or PG and take offense to what I say about your lovely city, well kiss my ass and tell your fuckin' cousins to quite stealing and robbin' people and quit shooting up my neighborhood, fuckin' ingrates. Thank you! ***]
The other day I was watching the morning news as I prepared for another productive (I’m soooo lying) day at work. The PG County police were making some statement because apparently crime was down in every other district in the DC area except…well, guess where?
Go ahead, you can do it!
If you said PG County, Maryland, give yourself a pat on the back and go tell white people you’re smart. In every major criminal statistic, PG County had seen at least a 30% increase from the same point last year. Rapes, up 31%; murder, up 58%; assaults, up 37%; and the whopper, robberies, up 127%. (Some numbers may be off slightly due to my liquorfied memory). And my neighborhood, not to be outdone by any of the other crime centers in PG, has definitely done its part to make sure those stats are firmly rooted in reality. The police presence has increased, and I don’t mean patrols, I mean chases. At least 4 days out of the week an ambulance, fire truck, or police car comes barrelling down the street and I’m being really conservative on that. There have been days when el PoPo’s have come through at least twice a day. Granted, I live on a major thoroughfare, but damn. Like I said, my credibility is skyrocketing up in this bitch. If I release an album right now, I don’t even HAVE to get shot with my neighborhood stats. Not to mention the increased Blood (yes of the Los Angeles gangland variety) presence in the area, which is honestly somewhat perplexing to me because for real…where the fuck are the Crips??? I honestly think there needs to be some kind of one for one thing going on. I blame The Game for this shit. Nigga blows up now there are fuckin’ Bloods everywhere on the East Coast. Not that I’m advocating for gang violence here, I’m just saying fair is fair.
But I’ve digressed.
Needless to say I’m moving…into DC. Now that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m going to be seeing a decrease in the violent activity. It just means that all those lovely lessons I learned about observing my surroundings and looking out for niggas will be just as necessary except in a different location.
[***SIDENOTE: You know, my neighborhood in Maryland really ain't SO bad. It's just all those random acts of violences, gunshots, and manhunts that occur that make it seem like you could film a gangster movie there. For the record, since I've lived there, we've only had 2 manhunts. So folks get robbed or carjacked in broad daylight...where DOESN'T that happen??? I'm just saying, they keep the grounds looking quite pristine! ***]
All of this information brought up a discussion I had in one of my classes in school called Foundations of Social Policy. During one of these particular classes, a discussion on neighborly relations came up and the professor asked why people tend to know their neighbors less nowadays than they did in prior eras. My hand shot up and I brought up the issue of trust. I offered that its hard to trust people when you’re concerned that they might rob your ass (not in those words of course). The professor seemed a little put off by my response and informed me that people’s fear of crime is actually worse than actual crime, and that most neighborhoods don’t have nearly the crime or crime-like behavior to warrant any trust issues. So I kindly shut the fuck up then fell into deep thought. Then it hit me…
…that’s some white ass thinking right there.
[And yes I know it ain't ALL white people who think like this.]
I looked around as all the other students thought nothing of that statement. I’m like…fear of crime is worse than actual crime??? Everywhere, kicko??? Like, for real?? Get the fuck out of here with that. I know that in my neighborhood shit goes down. Nobody’s surprised when a murder happens over there, because for real, murders happen there. My roommate’s car got jacked TWICE from our PARKING LOT. Somebody was murdered-ARSON style in my own neighborhood. And I KNOW I don’t live in the worst zip code in PG County or the DC area.
I got to thinking about that whole notion and realized that it must be nice to be white and have some money. You can think shit like, actual crime isn’t that bad, and be totally right. Even in the NICE ass neighborhoods in PG County, there have been murders. Cuz niggas go there to rob the rich people. These people in this class all go home and don’t concern themselves with crime and shit, and yet, I think about it whenever I hear gunshots pop off or see the cops flying down my street. The more I thought about that, the more it pissed me off.
This dude basically told me that my perception wasn’t a reality. Umm…though I can understand that logic a lot of times, sometimes bucko, you’re right on target. I wanted to say so badly, umm, Professor, I have to disagree, because I live in one of those neighborhoods that you probably won’t be visiting to do any “research” on, but for real, shit goes down over there dunny.
And yet, nobody cares, at least the white folks anyway. I’ll give them that they don’t know individual stories. Hell it was grad school so they might assume I’m currently living or have lived well since most of us (el Negroes) don’t make it to grad school. But really, they can sit around and tell a black person that fear of crime is a figment of his imagination. Tell me that though I live in a county where every crime category goes up, its all in my head.
Da hell??
I hope to one day live somewhere that I’m making up the ideas of gunshots, and not actually HEARING them. Hell, I hope that where I’m likely moving too (assuming this damn credit application goes through, I always feel so violated with these things) it’s a little less hectic.
All I know is a white man offended me that day by telling me that my fear of crime wasn’t founded. Yet I’m the one who has to be worried when somebody’s coming to visit me as I hope they don’t have to deal with the ignant muhfucka’s sitting outside my building who don’t even live there. Or I’m the one who comes home at 3am in the morning to see a group of 8 dudes sitting in the park across the street from my building, being loud, hoping these folks don’t feel like testing me. I guess in that instance, my fear does propel me to be on guard in CASE these niggas decide to get gully…but still, based on past experiences, isn’t that a legitimate concern?? Cuz sometimes, just sometimes, shit does go down.
And all the other students just didn’t get it.
Must be nice to be white.
PG County is the only county in America where, as the numbers of US increased, so did education and income levels.
I thought all the real serious crime was below Exit 17A?? I mean I know I live in the hood but the worse we get is a stolen car. Nothing much else. Da hell do you live??
As for taking the slaves out the hood but not taking the hood out the slaves…I was in DC yester-evening. There’s this new complex of brand new homes. We assume they are of the low income variety because at every turn someone was getting their hair braided on a stoop. Da hell? I mean, these mf’s have central air so there is no excuse for them to be outside bringing down property values. Damn slaves!
Being one who lives in the “NICE” part of PG County with neighboring subdivisions that are 98% Black and homes starting at $700,000, I surely though that I would never see police and violent crime around my way. I was wrong, and there are two reasons why:
1) Rich niggas have by-product rich kids who exemplify a common duality of rich nigga kids — they love the benefits of well-off parents but also love the call of the streets they think they know because they watched 106&Park and feel like they could beat up AJ or the champion on Freestyle Fridays. So you get these fake-ass wannabe thugs doing dumb shit in a neighborhood created for Black folks wanting to get away from the dumb shit.
2) These neighborhoods are normally only 5 miles or less from low-middle class hoods and niggas have learned how to cross the street, go over the river, and through the woods to the nice cribs. Anytime you take a people whose hope has been crushed or are just bunch of criminal ass niggas, and knock down the woods behind their home to build a new shopping center surrounded by almost million dollar homes, there is bound to be some unpleasant mixing of neighbors. The fuckin parking lot at Target becomes the site of the West Side Story 2005 — Negro style…
My mother works at Iverson Mall. (yes, IVERSON)
She is the only white lady within a 15 mile radius. And. she. aint. scared. WTF? Ol’moms got it going on. Being from PG County myself, I converged on the streets of DC thugette style in the late 80′s. Crime was a huge issue then as it is now..it’s out of control. I have moved north..now in Howard Co. to escape the PGhetto and allow my son a safe place live, play and be educated.
I didn’t think your neighborhood was that bad….then again it was dead of winter and shyt. Be glad you’re moving! And try to find a new neighborhood with less amublance activity. And def visit it on a Friday or Saturday night and see what pops off.
Damn that is sad. I live in an African-American neighborhood in a small town and we do not have any of those problems. I think it has a lot to do with familiarity. Everyone is familiar with each other each other’s families so they are less likely to even think of jacking. If one of these want to be thugs (Negroes too lazy work) jack me, I am going to the police after I go to their grandma house. This is the only reason I can guess because twenty-five miles up the road in Little Rock they had the highest murder per capita rate a few years back. Those niggers got excited about it. They acted if there should be a sign proclaiming it right beside the “First Capital Clinton Called Home” sign.
I totally agree with you on this one… everything is damn relative. It really must be nice to live in a world where you read that “the perception of crime is worse than crime itself” and you could believe it.
I say go to South Central… where mothers are mourning their sons in record numbers and young black males don’t EXPECT to live to see the age of 25. I say go to East LA where babies are sleeping in bathtubs for the fear of the “imaginary” stray bullets that shoot through their windows.
It’s amazing to me that he could even say that with a straight face… but then again, no it’s not. “The fear of crime is worse than actual crime.” I wonder if he would feel like that if someone raped or murdered his mother or daughter. *sigh*
Oh, and I was swooning at the beginning of the post because you’re one of the few people I know who can spell “segue”… but then the swoon came to a screeching halt when you said, “3am in the morning.” ROFLMAO *smooches* =)
I forgot what I was gonna say.. Ummm… Hmmmmm.. I really did forget. That quick.. Damn.. Ok, I’ll come back if and when I remember.. *lol*
My parents moved to Virginia. And they had first moved to Hampton. When they realized hwo many black folks were living in their community they moved out. *lol* Then they moved to umm, Kinnel Creek. That community was predominantly white so my mom loved it. *lol* But then she got some trailer trash white college kids up in thurr who wanted to throw parties every night and fuck their boyfriends real loud and let their marijuana butts fall onto my mom’s terrace.. You know my mom wasn’t havin’ that.. So the whiteys made my mom move that time..
Now she lives in Yorktown in an all white community. They are the only jigaboos who live in that community and she loves it! *rotflmfao!!* My mom actually thinks she is white. Whatever neighborhood she is in, when the blackies move in, she moves out. She’ll sell her house, condo, whatever! Haha!
With me living in the Bronx I see so much rebuliding going on here. I mean there are new houses and buliding being built all around here. And the neighborhoods are pretty decent. But what happens is you put ghetto ass folk up in the new shit and they tear it up! It is a damn shame! Can’t have nuthin’! Jeez…
Ok.. was that what you were talkin’ about? I just skimmed your post and saw you rantin’ about ghetto black folk and you movin’ or somethin’…. *rotfl!!!* Oh wait, you were talkin’ about violenece in your hood. I am talkin’ ’bout ghetto ass black folk.. We have more that than violence where I live. It’s like my entire block is residential. Well there is one building on the corner but that is very well maintained. But if you walk like 3- 4 blocks outside the perimeters of my block, holey moley! *haha!* So I just walk within my “direct” neighborhood and drive everywhere else.. *lol*
I am ramblin’ like crazy.. I think I have ADD..
u know wats really funny, i live in SE and everytime i say that shit, someones eyebrow goes up. then i quickly explain i live in a nice complex. the block may not be all that, but my complex is….i think it is pretty funny. fa real, i dont think anyone has been jacked, car or otherwise, raped, killed or even sold drugs in the vicinity. THATS WAS UP!!!!! GO SOUTHEAST DC!!! NAYLOR IN THIS BITCH!!!!
If a white graduate level professor of social policy doesn’t get it, I imagine the rest of the world must be like 9 billion times as infuriating.
PG up in this bitch!
Excellent post. I was born and raised in the southernmost part of P.G., and enjoyed doors-unlocked at night, walking on the hot asphalt barefoot, catching fireflies with the reckless abandon of a elementary bounty hounter…merely 15 minutes away from Eastover, which was the HOOD to me. I’m appalled to see people — black sheeple that should KNOW better, shelling out $700K for homes in brick-front, aluminum sided Sursum Cordas. I remember when Perrywood first came up, and err’y kneegrow that had managed to survive the game with a bit of money holed up over there like the shit was Coconut Grove North. LOL
I blame each one of us that allows their triflin neighbor to go unaccountable for his unkempt grass, and his loud parties on weekdays, and the neighborhood children playing outside unsupervised, and tearing up other people’s lots. For all this education, we sure do act dumb. If we didn’t enable ‘hood behavior, we wouldn’t have to deal with the hood rollin’ up into Potomac Knolls or Woodmore East.
…and that’s not just relegated to the cuzzins. Many-a triflin white person in P.G. County. MANY-A. Shall I say…Colmar Manor? Southlawn? LOL
Damn shame.
You say it must be nice to be white. Naw, it’s just nice to live in a white neighborhood. Why? Isn’t it obvious? Criminal ass niggaz may not have any hesitation when it comes to bangin out by the buppies, but they still avoid the lily white zones like kryptonite.
So is this the case out in Bowie too?
Damn, and there I was thinking that Montgomery County was the second richest….I’m gonna have to go check that again. But ummmmmmm, no matter how much property I acquire in DC, I just can’t find it in my heart to live there.
But yeah, Montgomery County by way of Bushwick Brooklyn, NY reppin up in this mugg’ ya herrd?
I’ve set in a class before and had similar words uttered by a professor. I’m willing to bet that neither would have been willing to go home with us. Words sound so good, when you’re not required to follow through on them. I hope the new ‘hood has less hoodie tendencies. LOL
I grew up in PG in Suitland 15 minutes away from southeast DC. I remember the last i live there before i left, niggas were goin’ ape bananas. The liquir store not far from my away gets robbed twice a year. Benjamin D. Foulous elementary school is now a junior high school. I remember when niggas who already graduated, dropped out from other schools would go to a high school to jump few dudes. The crime is simmering down when i visit my peoples in northwest last christmas but still though crazy shit be happenin’ out there and everywhere in the whole world.