He Ain’t Heavy He’s My Brother…Whatever, Forget Him
[***DISCLAIMER: This post right here will offend the sensibilities of the poor righteous teachers who complain about every-damn-thing but do no-damn-thing. Sometimes, we are full of shit...yes myself included. So before you call me a Republican, Armstrong Williams, or Stanley Crouch...go kill yourself.***]
It has been said that controversy sells. Let’s see if this is true shall we? Yes, let’s.
I’m a Kevin Hill fan. It’s the show on UPN (Father forgive me but at least it isn’t BET where folks named Fatty Koo can get a chance…may God have mercy on us all) where Taye Diggs is the big shot New York lawyer and ladies’ man. It’s the one place in life where a 5’6″ grown ass black man can be anybody he wants to be and bag any woman he wants. Yes, television is where all your dreams can come true…unless you are T-Boz and couldn’t act your way out of a paper bag requiring me to always rewind your parts in the movie Belly just to see if you give some indication that you really meant to suck as much ass as you did. Like I said before, she’s living proof that failure is an option for some people.
I’ve already digressed, this could be a long day.
So one of the knocks on the show is that Taye Diggs’ character pretty much only dates flourescent skinned black women. This isn’t really true as I’ve done an episode by episode tally and he’s dated one chocolate skinned sister, a few brown bombers, and about 2 million light to flourescent women. Aside from the one time where he dated a white chick and all the references to white chicks he’s knocked down (which is Panama slang for “hittin’ the skinz” or “gettin’ the snappy nappy dugout”) he’s pretty much dating black women.
Well all of the complaining has forced me to look at a number of complaints that black people levy on a day to day basis though I’m going to mostly stick with examples from the media. And it’s all led me to one question:
Will anything ever be enough for black people or are we just content with being complainers?
Now, I’m about to ruffle some feathers.
My people, we complain to gotdamnned much. For instance, on Kevin Hill, he’s dating light skinned black women yet he’s still dating black women, right?? What the hell is the problem? Like I understand that everybody is an uproar because not enough dark skinned women are on television and though I can’t stand her, I agree that India.Arie got snubbed maybe in part due to her darker hued complexion. But shit, didn’t a black woman still win all of those Grammy’s???
It’s so comedic nowadays to hear people’s complaints. For instance (and we’ll just act like the overly dumb and clearly stereotypic McDonald’s on BET commercials don’t exist), we complain about commercials left and right. Why does the black family got to be making Kool-Aid? Nigga, cuz we fuckin’ drink Kool-Aid. It’s a staple of the black community. Get over it. I like Kool-Aid and get offended when people don’t recognize Red as the Black National Flavor. And fuck you if you don’t think its possible for the color Red to be a flavor.
Cuz you know what, it is! And dammit…aren’t we on TV not acting a damn fool bojanglin’????
(Sometimes not all the time.)
Let’s grander scope this. And yes that was a horribly constructed sentence. I often wonder if anything that we get will ever be enough. Hmm, contentious sentence wasn’t it. See, there are certain things that should come natural in life: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. As black folks we come up short on all three of those inalienable rights. Hell, often times the only life we get is 25 to Life. Liberty, well, we just got that shit less than 200 years ago and somebody forgot to tell a few people in Mississippi and Alabama that we’s free now. Pursuit of happiness? Well that one is hard too. It’s hard to be happy when you’re broke as hell and still have to worry about being robbed, which makes no sense.
[***Sidenote: My people...we're robbing the wrong folks. Most robbers in the ghetto that rob other folks in the ghetto are really just practicing. What's the point of robbing me for $2?? True, you're chances of getting caught are drastically decreased but shit, WE DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY!!! WE LIVE WITH YOUR DUMB ASS. Go...rob people in NICE NEIGHBORHOODS!***]
So I understand that we have a long way to go in order to get to a point where we feel like we aren’t losing just by being born black. However, forgive me for sounding like Booker T. Washington, who for some is a hero and for others set the black people back years, but I think we sometimes get a little bit carried away with the shit we take issue with. We complain about shit that black people are making headways in. And for this reason I often wonder if anything will be good enough? If we were to somehow miraculously get reparations (which I’m totally against if it were to be monetary) would we then be content?? We claim we deserve the shit to make amends for past wrongs but you know what…I don’t think it would…AND…I don’t think muhfucka’s would be content.
We can’t look at a magazine and see black women without complaining that they just stereotypically picked dark skinneded (I really just can’t spell that word right) black women with exagerrated features, or that all the light skinnededed women look white. What happened to progress?? Why is that we can’t just be glad that we are finally getting somewhere?
We get pissed at shows on TV because we don’t think they reflect real black people. Yet short of the gangster epidemic of the early 90′s, most of the shows on TV nowadays exhibit some upwardly mobile black families or people with real jobs. Even on UPN…yes THAT UPN, the shows have black folks who are doing things with themselves. Aside from the shitastic show “Cutz” and “The Parkers” (which was only bad because Kim was SO damn dumb) most of the shows on TV that have black folks in them are exactly stereotyping down. Yet we’re quick to complain about ALL of them and for real, only the shows on BET have room for understandable complaint.
Because we’re on TV bitches!!!
People act like we’ve come so damned far that we can now start complaining and acting dumb towards our own black folks. Newsflash bitches, we haven’t made it that far yet. We have no room to be complaining when we have black people making a way of any kind. We don’t have so much shit where we can discriminate on our own people. And yes it goes both ways. But I’ll be gotdamned if…
…WE AREN’T ALL FUCKIN’ BLACK.
Yet here we go at every turn complaining not that black people are on TV and in movies, but its only lightskinneded black people in movies. Why can’t we just be glad that we’re breaking this barrier at all. We’ve got a lot of history to burn and it won’t all happen overnight. We used to understand that. Nowadays, it’s not good enough and it’s SO not good enough that we hate on our own folks who might be paving the way for the next up and coming black person.
This is clearly part of the the fact that we are all prone to comparing ourselves to one another and that we’ve been pitted against eachother since back when George Washington and ‘nem owned us, but still, we’ve got to do mo’ better people.
I’m not usually just for accepting shit and saying we’ll at least we got that, but that’s usually because there are no other black people there. But sometimes, I think we just have our priorities wrong. Instead of focusing on the areas where there are no black people in any capacity, we just get pissed at the kind of black people that are making moves.
Somebody of great significance to me dropped this quote on me the other day:
“things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least”
I don’t know who said it but I’ll be damned if that doesn’t sum up my opinion on this and life in general. We can’t keep getting caught up on shit that in the grand scheme of things does something positive for all of us.
Bottom line…you can’t hold somebody down unless you stay down there with them.
Do the knowledge.
Hello, I’ve been a lurker for a while, but I’ve finally decided to comment. I think you’re absolutely right- black people should be happy that we’re finally getting somewhere, and that our faces, no matter what shade, are being shown on television. However, what turned me off about Kevin Hill was the fact that his main co-stars are two white women and Michael Michelle, a white-looking black woman. It seems like the show’s producers purposely purposely made the rest of the cast white or white-looking in order to dilute Taye Diggs’ blackness?
Also, I have a comment about the Parkers- why do people hate on that show?? Yeah, Kim is an idiot, but just as you say that people should not have a problem with light-skinned actresses because they reflect reality, people shoud also not have a problem with Kim just because her character happens to be an airhead. Aren’t there black airheads in reality too? The rest of the Parkers’ cast were pretty intelligent, sensible people. So I have no problem with Kim’s portrayal of the airheaded ghetto girl- because I run across plenty of them every day. They’re just a fact of life.
Great topic, keep up the good work!
that quote belongs to Goethe
(imma double check that though).
“why is that we can’t just be glad that we are finally getting somewhere?”
did you really want to say that?!!??
I mean I think I understand what u are saying
and I agree.
but you can’t just be saying stuff like that
cause your point…the good point
“things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least”
gets lost…and that may not bother you
cause u tryna get on folks nerves anyway.
but homeslice we must keep pushing.
now we can’t complain without action
that’s just annoying
and we can’t complain in a way that ends up holding others down
as you noted
that’s just retarded.
but I say HELL NAW
to the suggestion that we stop talking about why darker women are invisible
or stop pointing out how they /us fall short on this whole progress thing.
yes we have made strides
but that doesn’t mean its time for us to take a starbucks break and bask in the glory of kevin hill!
we got to keep pushing (which i know u know)
but not pushing for no reason
well i guess thats the moral of your story.
so i agree with you… i agree that we must examine what matters the most and stop with the tired complaining and stop with the toxic comparing…cause it really is toxic.
i guess i’m just saying
we have to be very aware of our language
when exploring what matters the most.
so i really didnt need to be so verbose…especially since i agree witchew… i really just wanted to say that quote belonged to Goethe…o well
I think the problem is that you people (Cus remember I am no longer Black, I’m Sexiopian= Senegal+Mexico+Ethiopia.) think everything is owed to you.
I agree, but I can see both sides, as you said you can. And it’s a slippery slope.
I touched on this in my blog about color… where people actually suggested that I … ME… ME… I… WANTED people to think that other people THOUGHT I was mixed, but that I made that up…as though being mixed was something to ASPIRE to. *rolling eyes*… our people are just confused, period.
I said in that post that left up to some browner hued chicks, us lighter chicks would just shrivel up and die alone. LOL
It’s a slippery slope and I see the other side of it, while he does date black women, he only dates black women that embody the white aesthetic.
I can see both sides. But you’re right, I dont’ think we will ever be satisfied… there’s ALWAYS something to beef about. *shrug* LOL Shit we complained about the COSBY SHOW!!! LOL Nothing will make us happy. LOL
…and India Arie didn’t get snubbed b/c she’s dark but b/c she’s ugly (a non-racial, yet similarly pervasive form of discrimination. If she looked like Nona Gaye, she’d be doing much better.
After giving it a little bit more thought, I guess everything is racial. B/c there are PLENTY of ugly to regular ass lookin’ white women doing there thing musically…
But Johnny, that’s where you’re wrong!!! White women are rarely ugly in our society. Even PARIS HILTON’S SICKLY LOOKING TUCAN SAM BEAK HAVIN’ ASS is supposedly beautiful. All you need is a bottle of peroxide and a penchant for starvation. Boom, you’re gorgeous!
The only thin white woman I can remember being declared ugly was Sandra Bernhardt… and gatdamn… I mean shit… I mean there’s no denying that. LOL
**Newsflash bitches, we haven’t made it that far yet**
Ha that cracked me up. I heart you.
Black people complain a lot about this color complex on TV, and while it is a valid complaint, sometimes i feel like it’s become divisive for us. I’ve heard people sayin that they can’t wait for a REAL Black woman to win Next Top Model, or be a Cover Girl, or be a love interest for K. Hill, etc. As if to say Eva Pigford is any less Black than say…a more darker skinned woman? Newsflash: we are all Black and believe it or not–light or dark skinned–a BLACK person finds it hard to get quality work in Hollywood. Like i said, it feels divisive because now I have people tellin me I’m not as Black as a sista with dark skin, thicker lips, wider hips and nappy but happy hair.
Xquissyt1,
See, i still disagree. You know that old adage, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”? Yeah, that’s complete and utter bullshit to me. I think the only folks that make the claim that beauty is relative are the ugly ones. That’s why Arie’s ‘Video’ song was such nonsense. She ain’t in the videos cause she ugly. And worth may not be determined by the price of your clothes, but if you got on something that looks like cheap curtains, house sheets or a fuckin potato sack , you can’t knock the dude’s hustle for treating you as such…
Panama — this was great. Humorously put as always (I guess now would not be the time for me to say that I think Taye Diggs is a handkerchief head, tap dancing Uncle Tom, though, right? LOL jk) Seriously though, like X, I see both sides. On the one side are black folks that complain about everything, crabs in a bucket, yada, yada. On the other side is the reality that his aesthetic sensibility is very much informed by our American culture (where white or ambiguously black women are the mainstream ideal.) I can’t make a judgement on Diggs personally (I don’t know the guy), but I do think he very much buys into what’s socially defined as beauty. That continues to be, many times, the brighter, the better…
I’m with X and everybody else who saw both sides. We are truly a confused people. We talk about those who try to reach back and find their true roots by being immersed in African culture, then turn and talk about those who are too European. We claim that there is no such thing as “acting Black” all while agreeing that there are common denominators with almost all of us and that our culture is so “rich”. Well, shit, if the culture is rich, there has to be some customs (like Red Kool-Aid) that we can use to identify it, right? We complain about all the ass-shaking in videos but still give the “video hoes”..err vixens, props for getting their money. After all the rambling, what I’m trying to say is….NO
EVERYTHING would still not be enough.
We cannot be satisfied because we are not sure exactly of what we want.
@ Xquizzty
“PARIS HILTON’s SICKLY LOOKING TUCAN SAM BEAK HAVIN’ ASS…………” *ROFLMAO!* OH JEEZZZ, I.AM.SICK!!!!! ‘Nuff respect on that one! Plus she’s cockeyed too???? *dead*
shit, i still get happy when i see black children in ads. *call me easily contented*
Panama u’ve hit the nail on head fo’ real. Blacks’ll NEVER be satisfied BUT I do think that PEOPLE as a whole (escpecially us herr in america) suffer from being insatiable. I direct music videos and I always hear negative comments about how degrading it is to have women shakin’ their asses on our screens day in and day out. But at the same time, I think it’s rather ironic that some of our beautiful darker-skinned sistahs get upset when I choose to not ‘degrade’ them like I do the light skinned chicks.
Man cutz is the shittitest show ever made. ever. I agree with everything you said wholeheartedly but all the complaints about that show are warranted.
Personally I’m sick and tired of the whole intra racism controversy myself. Damn tired of it actually. It’s wearing me out. Hey, but, you made some interesting points. I think that blacks DO recognize their accomplishments and how far they’ve come (in the back of their mind), however, they find more of a comfort zone in complaining then commending (as like most Americans tend to do)…that’s why their actions are concieved as being the complete opposite.
And I’d have to agree with you…if reparations were offered to us, I still don’t think we’d be satisfied. Reason being, no form of reparations in my opinion can compensate for almost 400 years of captivity. It just can’t. No matter WHAT form or how much of it is given. It’s just impossible.
Nice post. And I like the quote at the end as well.
“Liberty, well, we just got that shit less than 200 years ago and somebody forgot to tell a few people in Mississippi and Alabama that we’s free now.”
It’s always interesting to hear non-southern people’s opinions (usually completely unfounded) on the South. I’d like to know exactly how you drew this conclusion. I’d be willing to bet that you’ve never set foot on the soil of either of those locations (except for maybe a family trip to visit cousin Junebug of course when you were 9) yet you and others are very quick to pass judgement. It may be true that some Southern states are not as advanced as say the Metropolis that is Compton, CA (which by the way is the place the chick on this season’s Top Model was ashamed to admit that she’s from) but many of the resident’s intelligence is severely underestimated. So y’all have read a few books, seen Mississippi Burning, A Time to Kill, and watced Eyes on the Prize and now you’re experts on the South and it’s people. I am from Jackson, Mississippi and I just recently graduated with a Master’s degree from Saint Louis University (go figure a southerner daring to educate herself) and I’ve found that the people here in the “Big City”, both Black and White, are some of the most backward thinking, prejudiced, uneducated individuals I’ve encountered. The majority of African-Americans can trace some roots back to the South. When I tell people where I’m from the response is constantly, “Oh do you know where(insert name of small town) is? My grandmother, mother, father, auntie, cousin, etc. is from there.” People will always say not to forget from whence you came. But it’s interesting that people are quick to overlook the fact if not for brave, enduring souls of Southern Black Folk many of you so-called Northerners (and Westerners)wouldn’t have a place to call home.
By the way you made some good points, however I can’t help but wonder if your opinion would be different if your skin color didn’t reflect that of your white mother.
Ms. Taylor:
Two things I want to address here, thanks for playing.
1) It was meant in jest. If you’ve been to this site before you know that I joke a lot and make a lot of statements like that. I’m an equal opportunity offender and talk about any and everybody. Such is life…and it won’t stop.
However, what makes me think you haven’t been here before or don’t come thru here often is the fact that…
2) I’m from the South and have alluded to that ad nauseum on this site. It’s home. Never set foot down there?? Atlanta, GA is home and will always be the place I call home. And the state of Alabama is as much home to me as anywhere else. I grew up in the South. I went to college in the South AND can’t wait to move BACK to the South. I graduated from high school in Alabama, which means I stepped foot there. I’ve also stayed in real down home Alabama too, as in backwoods, Five Points (not on the map), Alabama. Hmm…been to Mississippi too. Jackson to be exact.
So since you want to test my gangsta and shit, understand that when I speak of ANYTHING southern related, I’m speaking from life and experience, homie. Sounds like you got somewhat of a chip on your shoulder though about folks and their perceptions of the South. That’s all well and good, but you’re barking up the wrong tree here.
Just thought I’d correct that little misunderstanding.
I guess I lied, cuz I got three points to make…
3) The fact that my skin reflects my white mother has shit to do with my perception. I’m from the South homie…NOBODY gave a shit about my “light” complexion in Alabama (except other black folks). I was black just like everybody else. I think it sucks that folks make distinctions like that but alas its just part of life I suppose. But that’s exactly what I’m trying to undo here. Maybe if I was dark skinnededed I’d be uber pissed, but I’d hope that I could recognize that progress is progress and that though there is much work to be done, we’re still moving forward. I want my dark skinneded sisters to get as much attention as their lighter skinned compatriots, believe me I do. But I also want black folks as a whole to keep moving forward and we can’t do that if we keep up the infighting and shit.
Being from the South (cuz you know, I am) I’ve seen how all that shit works first hand and it bothers me to no end. Cuz for real, the white folks didn’t care one way or another. I guess since they don’t make the distinction sometimes, we decide to make it for them to keep ourSELVES down.
Congratulations on your Master’s degree. Keep up the Good work!
I stand corrected. A chip on my shoulder…maybe maybe not. Make no mistake that I, like yourself, am very proud of where I’m from and it will always and forever be home. I’ve just gotten very bored with the comments frequently made by people who have no knowledge of that which they speak (but now I know that would not be you, “homie”).
‘Preciate the intellectual retort. I’ll be sure to visit more regularly.