Jackson G. Tickle Enterprises Presents…Panama’s Propositions

What’s beef??

Well according to the late great Notorious B.I.G., beef is when ya mom’s ain’t safe up in the streets. It’s also when you make your enemies start your jeep. Beef is what happens when I see you, and guarantee that you’ll be in ICU.

One more time…what’s beef??

Rap music thrives on beef and the public eats it up. How else can anybody explain 50 Cent selling 1.1 million records in 4 days after dropping two mediocre singles? It’s all in the beef. Beef resurrected Nas’ latent career. Beef…its the other other white meat. Or is that turkey?

Well, being as rap beef is nothing new, a group of talented individuals gets lost amidst it all: R&B singers. For the record, nobody really gives a shit about thugged out (or even not so thugged out) singers taking their issues to wax. Nobody wants to hear how you gonna dance all over somebody else’s dancefloor or how you’re dance moves are more crisp than another. Hell, I found it comedic that Usher would try to front on Justin Timberlake on stage at the MTV Music awards talking about who the better dancer is. Kicko…you BOTH stole Michael Jackson’s style.

Shut the fuck up.

Nobody gave a damn about the R. Kelly/Sisqo beef though I have to say it seems like Sisqo got the last laugh here. He may have blonde hair but at least they all belong to him and not some 12 year old little boy. And if I’m not mistaken, Chauncey Somethingorother from Blackstreet had beef with somebody. Apparently nobody gave a shit about that either. And nobody cared about the Jagged Edge/112 beef that was brewing all over Atlanta radio back in like 2000 over who the best worst group out of Atlanta was. See nobody really gives a shit.

Most of the time.

However, every now and then we care about R&B beef. And it usually takes somebody really high profile. Which brings me to the point of this here discussion. Because there was one R&B battle we ALL wanted to see. It all started one warm day when I heard the song “Survivor” on the radio. I listened and was like are they talking SHIT???? On a single???? These chicks are straight up calling out the other three girls who got the boot!!!!!! I was amazed at what I thought was the first real battle R&B song. I was just waiting for LaTavia and Letoya (AKA the group Angel) to come back and drop that ill melody on Beyonce and ‘nem. I was just hoping they were gonna pull out all the octaves on their candy asses. You know, bring out who was really behind all those whole notes and shit.

But alas it never came. However, I was still amazed that somebody made a battle R&B song. It just seemed so unprecedented. None of the R&B gangsters ever made battle songs. No, it took the first ladies of new age R&B to come thru in the clutch and kick open the door of what I hoped would be R&B singers in seedy pool halls trying to out range eachother on the tops of pool tables while thugged out bandana rockin’ piano players provided the musical landscape just like DJ’s do in rap battles.

Basically, I gave all of the credit for the first R&B battle song to Destiny’s Child.

I was wrong.

You see, just yesterday while perusing my CD collection I came across a CD that I hadn’t listened to in a while. Mostly because somebody stole it and I just repurchased it on Sunday.

[***Sidenote: You know you just might have a problem when you manage to by 12 CD's in less than a 12 hour timeframe and you managed to get a full 8 hours of sleep between making purchases. From two different stores in two different counties. And you only intended to buy one AKA uno AKA einz AKA 1 AKA 99-98 (do the math, graduate). It's like a crack addiction. I know I don't need any of them but I just can't help myself cuz I feel so good hoping that it's going to be worth my money. Kind of like prostitutes and chocolate.***]

While listening to this particular CD from 1988, I came across a song that instantly dumbfounded me. I had to repeat it over and over because I couldn’t believe that the singers on this song (who some 17 years after the release seem like they were the lamest cats on the planet during their heyday) were telling folks to basically get off their nuts and be original with theirs. They used the word “clones”, “imitate”, “try their best to recreate”, and “perpetrate”.

Now I don’t know who they were talking too or about, but ladies and gentlemen, I offer you America’s first R&B battle song courtesy of everybody’s favorite group:

New Edition.

The song?

“Where It All Started” from the N.E. Heartbreak album. Today I’d like to set the record straight and drop the knowledge on you that New Edition has been bangin’ on wax since 1988 on the R&B side of things and hasn’t gotten the credit they deserve for being gully.

To New Edition, the innovators, the originals (well, you know, after the Jackson 5 but who’s splitting hairs?), the Roxbury crew straight up off the mean streets of Boston…I salute you for taking your beef to the streets and tellin’ any R&B fakers out there to come correct or not come at all.

Others have tried, but nobody has come close. They are New Edition, and they keep their movements fresh…cuz they are where it all started from!!

Check the venomous lyrics yourself (ironically not written by them but by the team of Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis) to hear the kings kick that real shit, shit to make you feel shit, bump it in the club shit…

The First R&B Battle Song-

New Edition “Where It All Started”

Dialogue: Picture this where it all started was back in Boston, Mass. Some time ago (believe that) and by reopening the doors to all youth a little salt was thrown on me and my boys (you know what I’m sayin’) but now we’re back picking up where we left off (aw yeah) and through this song, process of elimination will be done (you better believe that)

Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky and Mike
Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky and Mike

The beginning of a dream
Where our ideas were born
(Tell em Ricky) To understand what this really means
Let’s set the record straight
Once and for all and I’ll tell you

‘Cause other people imitate
And try their best to recreate
This is where it all started from
So they only perpetrate
But they can never duplicate
This is where it all started from

(Yo, it’s on you Ron) It’s nice to be the original
That all the counterfeits like to bite off
We only take it as a compliment
When they copy some of our material

To stay the best among the rest
We work to keep our movements fresh
This is where it all started from
You listen up dap instead of being clones
Why don’t you think of something on your own
This is where it all started from

(Now there’s one more thing we think you should know)
Don’t be a victim to the wanna be
This is where it all started from
(A fake, a fake)
‘Cause no other’s ever gonna be (like us)
This is where it all started from
(Take that)

Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, and Mike
Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, and Mike
(We’re cool) Cool it coooool it now
Let’s sweeten it up
Candy girl
Count it off… 1… 2… 1… 2
But you better not, better not
Count me out

‘Cause other people imitate
And try their best to recreate
This is where it all started from
So they only perpetrate
But they can never duplicate
This is where it all started from

To stay the best among the rest
We work to keep our movements fresh
This is where it all started from
You listen up dap instead of being clones
Why don’t you think of something on your own
This is where it all started from

Yo wait a minute! Hold up! Wait! Stop! Huh! You didn’t know we was coming back like this on ‘em my brother.

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