Black History Month: These Are My Confessions
There are valuable lessons in life that one must learn the hard way. None more important than learning to save your work because if you don’t Blogger will eat your entry and force you to sit in a corner for a few minutes and curse the very existence of Starbucks.
I haven’t mentioned Starbucks in a minute so what the hell, ya know?
So I’ve been blogging for about 8 months now. Yay me. Well, one thing that I’ve noticed most real bloggers have done that I haven’t done is the famed “100 Things About Me” list. So I decided, what the hell, its Black History Month, I’m black, and tomorrow this will be history. Shall we bounce, rock, skate, and then roll??? Yes, let’s.
[***Sidenote: If somebody were to take that little list (bounce, rock, skate, roll) and rearrange the order, would the Earth end?? That little combo has been in existence for well over 20 years now and its maintained its order. What if I wanted to, say, skate, then rock, then maybe...bounce, and then roll??? Would I be violating some kind of cosmic rule?? Yes, this was completely irrelevant. No, this had no point. Yes, I know you're scratching your head. No, I don't give a shit. Thanks for playing!***]
Without further ado, I present…
100 Things About Me: The Panama Jackson Edition
1. My name ain’t Panama.
2. It ain’t Bocephus either.
3. I’m sexxier than you.
4. I’ve got the pictures to prove it.
5. Speaking of pictures, there are maybe 3 baby pictures of me in existence.
6. One of my mother’s ex-boyfriends burned all my baby pictures when he was pissed at my mom.
7. He fucked up my history.
8. I just assume I was a sexxy baby.
9. I can’t spell sexxy with just one “x”.
10. I’m unable to do it at this point in my life.
11. I’m a Gemini.
12. My pornstar name is Gemini Peters.
13. I’ve never been in a porn and have no desire too.
14. I have maybe 30 nicknames.
15. Mr. Pimpnificent.
16. Zachariah Stroller (Hezekiah Walker’s cousin).
17. Da Emperor Shawty Crunktiteness.
18. Da Empereezy fa short.
19. Branson Calhoun.
20. To name a few.
21. NWA is my favorite rap group of all time.
22. De La Soul Is Dead is potentially my favorite rap album of all time.
23. I like Omarion’s song “O”.
24. Fuck you, I like the whole album.
25. Yes, this means I own it.
26. Kiss my ass.
27. I’m a happy person.
28. I’ve only been angry once in my life.
29. I almost killed somebody that day.
30. My father, sister, and best friend had to physically restrain me for 30 minutes while the recipient of my rage was removed from the premises.
31. That was the scariest day of my life.
32. Until…
33. While in college, certain circumstances (saved in my eyes only by divine intervention) could have garnered me federal jail time.
34. That then became the scariest day of my life.
35. My best friends don’t know about that.
36. I’ve seen someone get murdered.
37. My last words to said person were “I love you cuz.”
38. Thirty seconds later, he was gone.
39. That was the worst day in my life and simultaneously the most vivid.
40. Martin Luther King Blvd., SW, Atlanta, GA.
41. That day changed my outlook on life.
42. I have very few problems anymore because I could have died that day.
43. I enjoy my life.
44. I crunch numbers for a living.
45. Dat very boring.
46. I’ve met a lot of great folks online.
47. One of the people who knows me best is somebody I met online.
48. She’s the greatest.
49. I’ve been in love once.
50. I’ve told 4 women I loved them.
51. Three of of them were girlfriends. One wasn’t.
52. I hated myself for a week after telling her that.
53. I believe in love though.
54. I look forward to getting married.
55. Just not tomorrow.
56. I’m just not ready yet.
57. I’ve lived an entire winter with no heat, and a whole summer with no AC, in Atlanta.
58. I lived two doors down from a local crackhouse, in Atlanta.
59. In that same neighborhood, the same man was shot on two different occasions, in Atlanta.
60. My friends affectionately referred to my neighborhood, in Atlanta, as Kosovo and/or Beirut.
61. I love my neighborhood in Atlanta.
62. A man on the FBI’s 10 Most Wanted list was found in my apartment complex, in Atlanta.
63. Peyton Place, MLK Blvd, SW, Atlanta, GA.
64. I’ve got 3 sisters.
65. I’m number 3.
66. I was raised by my father and my stepmother.
67. Me and my real mother have a great relationship.
68. I speak French.
69. Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
70. I also speak Ebonics.
71. It’s a talent.
72. In high school, I was voted Most Likely To Succeed and Most Likely to Be a Millionaire by 30.
73. I’m gonna do them folks proud and be a millionaire by the end of 2006.
74. I went to high school in Alabama.
75. Alabama isn’t as bad as folks make it out to be.
76. Now Mississippi on the other hand…
77. I want to make a difference.
78. I don’t know exactly what that means.
80. I never wrote anything except poetry before I started blogging.
81. I’ve done theatre.
82. I plan on doing big things.
83. I hate doing things alone.
84. I’m bringing my friends along for the ride to fortune.
85. I’ll give you the shirt off my back, unless I like it.
86. Then I’ll get you another shirt.
87. I think Amel Larrieux is a beautiful person.
88. I like beautiful people, not ordinary people.
89. They don’t even know which way to go. (*wink*)
90. I hope my life makes somebody else’s life better.
91. I’m still sexxy.
92. I didn’t chose this life, it was given to me.
93. I lived in Frankfurt, Germany for 8 years.
94. Best 8 years of my life. Until college…
95. I trust everybody.
96. If you screw me, I have no use for you in my life.
97. I will succeed whether you want me to or not.
98. I will change the game, or at least make BET watchable.
99. I will be somebody…
100. Cuz I will not lose.
and…
101. When it’s all said and done, I hope that folks will say that I made them smile, because in the end, that’s what life is really all about. Happiness.