Jackson G. Tickle Enterprises Presents…Panama’s Propositions

First things first, I want to send a shoutout to both my cyber fiancee, Edwige, and to Kajuana, both of whom I had the opportunity to meet at Kajuana’s big 3-0 birthday party on Friday night. Thanks for the invite, it was a good time.

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Also, I did an album review of John Legend’s Get Lifted CD over at my mama’s music. What can I say but that it isn’t what its cracked up to be…let the arguments commence!

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Welcome to Huntsville, Alabama.

By a show of hands, how many people have ever been to Huntsville, Alabama????

*blank stares*

Okay, let me try again. Has anybody even HEARD of Huntsville, Alabama???

*a few hands go up*

Hmm…well let me break Huntsville down for you. Mmkay?? Southern city, lots of southerners from other parts of the South. Located in Northern Alabama. Lots of military folks due to Redstone Arsenal Military Installation and lots of northerners due to NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center. Ahh….U.S. Space and Rocket Center. Two HBCU’s (Historically Black Colleges and Universities): Alabama A&M University and Oakwood College. One predominantly white university: University of Alabama-Huntsville. Open-minded yet conservative thinkers due to high level of education necessary jobs. Black section of town, but diverse for the most part.

It has projects though I refer to them as low income housing since I’ve seen projects in cities like DC, Atlanta, and NY. Roughly 300,000 folks and constantly expanding. For the most part, everybody that lives there enjoys an alright existence. Let’s call it a good quality of life. Great place to raise kids and retire, but horrible place to be young and urban (which is the point of this whole diatribe). And of course we have the most important fact: it’s in Alabama.

Let me say that again to get my point across.

It’s in Alabama.

Which to me means, the more things change the more they stay the same. And I don’t want to paint a negative picture of Huntsville. Like I said, its a great place to raise kids or retire, then die. It’s just a shitty place to be between the ages of 18-35, single and black. And this right here is where most of us urban youth run into problems and why I have to say from the top of my lungs…

FUCK CLUB 721.

First a little background. I went to high school in Madison, Alabama. I know, I know. Seems strange doesn’t it. You wouldn’t believe how many people upon finding out this fact find it hard to believe that some of my most developed social years were spent in Alabama. For some reason, folks tend to think folks in Alabama don’t learn to read and speak good or something. I’ll have you know, we learned everything about as gooder as any other school system!! Sheesh.

Anyway, I’ve been to clubs in Huntsville maybe five times. As soon as I graduated from high school I was out. I’ve also never found Huntsville’s entertainment venues to be quite my cup of tea. I moved to the Huntsville area after living in major cities in the US and overseas for my younger years where entertainment was plentiful and actually fuckin’ entertaining. Either way, anytime I go back to visit my family, I really don’t feel to up to going to the club, because frankly, after living in cities like Atlanta and DC, and visiting LA, NY, and other major cities, Huntsville’s clubs really, for lack of a better word, suck. Just give me TGIFriday’s and some liquor and I’m good.

But as always when you have your boys around, they want to go to the club to find the women. Huntsville doesn’t have too many clubs for black folks from what I hear. There is Oasis, a reggae club that is no bigger than my room. In fact, its often more entertaining to be outside the club stuck in your car on the street than it is to be inside the club with the other 4 people who can fit. Then there’s the Green Room. What can one say about the Green Room? Well, let’s just say, never go there.

Then there is Club 721. 721 is a majority white club. I’ve been there one time before, but the black radio station in Huntsville was throwing the party. It still sucked but it was mostly a black crowd. On normal nights its a predominantly white crowd. I’d say about 60/40. And of course that 40 percent of black folks is mostly black men going to holla at the white women in there. (Yeah I said it…) In fact, on the way to the club on the evening that drew my ire, my boy asked me if I discriminate because if I did, I probably wasn’t going to have much fun. Good times…

Now…finally, after all that…WHY FUCK CLUB 721??? Because these bastards denied me entry. And why did they deny me entry??? Because I didn’t have two forms of ID with a picture and my birthdate on it.

STOP!

How many people at all times carry two forms of ID with both a picture and their birthdate on them? I hardly EVER bring my passport with me to the club so I always ONLY have my driver’s license. That’s it. Who in the fuck mandated this stupid ass policy at this club?? And it is club policy, its on the fuckin’ door. It clearly states, “We may require 2 forms of ID for entry.” So why was I pissed???

Hmm…well I have a Maryland driver’s license. I presented my license. The bouncer looked at it and referred me to another bouncer. Only in Huntsville do you get referred. Upon looking at my license, he asked me for another form of ID. I was a bit taken aback by this. I live in a major city and have clubbed in nearly every major city. All the clubs either have “the book” or will just tell you they think you have a fake ID. Well, they don’t have the book. I asked the bastard if he thought my ID was fake and he said….

“No, I don’t think its fake at all.”

STOP!

Riddle me this shit. If you don’t think my ID is fake kicko, why would you need another ID??? Maybe I’m slow and there’s really a simple explanation, but to me…that’s pure and utter bullshit. So the dude proceeds to tell me that I need another form of ID with my birthdate on it. And it HAD to be because I was from out of state, because while I’m being hassled, white AND black people are getting in with just Alabama ID’s. Dude proceeds to tell me that I need to leave. I’m like aight homie, fuck you, if you all want to be dumb enough to turn down money. Clearly, they haven’t learned the golden rule that it takes money to operate a club.

Then I started paying attention. Oh yes bitches, I paid attention. There seem to be other forces at play here. I started noticing who was being turned away for entry. If you guessed black males, give yourself a pat on the back and have a drink on yourself later on tonight. Left and right, black males were being barred entry. Mostly due to their apparel. This is the ODDEST muhfuckin’ reason to deny entry at this particular club. You know why??? I’ll tell you why. They have a dress code. However, NOBODY knows the dress code. It’s the most random gotdamned dress code ever. I’ve seen them deny a black dude in the Kanye special (you know, button-up and sport jacket, stylish jeans, clean as hell shoes) and let a white dude in cut off shorts, some sandals, and a flannel shirt….with a trucker hat on. This mostly applies to men cuz women usually don’t have a problem gaining entry.

I stayed in the parking lot being an activist (read: parking lot pimpin’) for about an hour and took notes. What also happened at one point was that I was walking away from the entrance after arguing with the bouncer again and this group of black girls from Alabama A&M called me to their car. The first thing one of the girls said was…

“Are they not letting black folks in again???”

Apparently, this is the norm and they have some kind of quota where they only let so many of us in then start telling us that our pants are too baggy, too hip hoppish, or that we need two forms of ID as opposed to the white people who only need be white. And honestly, had they denied me entry based on my attire, I wouldn’t even have been mad. What I had on would have denied me entry into any REAL club in any real city in America. For God’s sake, I had Timberland boots on.

But my dress wasn’t the problem. My color was the problem…and potentially my out of state license. But I doubt they would have turned away a white guy from Tennessee. Thing is, I’ve been told about this club. Hell, everybody in Huntsville knows about this club and its “policies”. Everytime I’m back in Huntsville and the thought of going to 721 comes up, my sister or somebody else always says, you better make sure you dress a certain way cuz they ain’t letting you in homie.

So fuck’em is what I say. But I also don’t live there. And that’s the double edged sword. You see, there aren’t so many places for black folks to go, club wise. You have your sports bars and they ARE trying to have more diverse types of events. But the fact remains, either you go straight to the ghetto clubs or you have to risk being denied into a club that picks and choses which black folks they will let in. Almost like they know they are some jackasses but seriously cover their ass against claims of racism. And the way I feel is that if they don’t want black money, don’t give it to them. Fuck them. Fuck’em up against a wall.

The bottom line is this: no matter how you dress, or who you are, or that you’re willing to spend your money with some ungrateful bastards, or hell, even that you’ve met all the requirements to gain entry…policy is policy. And that policy clearly seems to state that you can’t let too many black folks in regardless of how much money they might make you.

Rich nigga, smart nigga, friendly nigga…same thing…still nigga..

Nigga, welcome back to Alabama.

The more things change, the more things stay the same.

So to the management who creates the policies to the bouncers who enforce it…I’d like to send out an extra special…

Fuck You to Club 721.

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