Jackson G. Tickle Press Conference Postponed to 1/19/05
…due to technical difficulties, including but not limited too:
- flight delays courtesy of Independence Air who decided that both coming and going, I should neither leave nor return back to Washington, DC, from Huntsville, AL, at the paid for and scheduled time…though I shouldn’t really complain, at least the plane didn’t fall out of the sky or anything;
- cold ass weather courtesy of the Big Guy/Gal upstairs that froze the living shit out of my car as I tried to start it after it had been sitting in a cold parking lot for 3.5 days;
- my father’s 50th birthday party in Madison, AL, which required my sisters and myself to scramble around like crazy for 24 consecutive hours in order to pull of the party of the half century for my pops. We scared the shit out of him when something like 100 people yelled surprise in a strange white neighborhood he’d never been in before. Good times…and…
- liquor and free-spirits provided by my sisters at said 50th birthday party which had folks seriously draped over some couches, ushering in the inauguration of a new drink we dubbed “The Shrek” after is green coloring. It’s like a slushy made of something that I can pinpoint, only my version included about 3 parts Absolut Vodka per 1 part slush…parts of the evening have been commited to, “Hmm…Did that Happen” Stage…good times were had by all!
Needless to say, amidst planning and MCing/DJing/Hosting said party, the kid, PDJakes, was out of commission, which was fine since all of our nominees seemed to be busy this weekend. Even R. Kelly didn’t return my phone calls for an interview. Anyway, after much coaxing and prodding, I have all of the contestants on notice that at about 8pm tonight, they need to be prepared to fly to my remote location in Maryland for the press conference.
Voting has occurred all weekend with Alan Keyes and R. Kelly often times overtaking one another for Most Ignant. One mo’ ‘gain…good times. Apparently they were the runaway favorites as it would take an act of pure ignance to propel one of the other contestants into stardom. Voting will cease at around 8pm this evening. Thanks to all who voted in hopes of shedding some light on 2004’s ignant bastards.
And one last thing…I’d like to send a special FUCK YOU out to Club 721 on South Memorial Parkway, in Huntsville, AL. I’ve heard stories about the treatment of some of us black folks at this club but I just assumed folks were tripping. It seems that behind every fucked up reputation is some truth. I’m going to expound more on this later…and I’m also going national with this one.
[***For the record, I'm not accusing the club of having racist policies. If anything, I'm accusing them of having IGNANT policies that happen to unfavorably fall upon one particular race. Is it intentional, clearly...but I just can't call that racism...though it is in Alabama. I'm just not ready to go there with it. It just seems like it would be TOO much.***]
In life, be careful who you screw, cuz you never know when it might come back to haunt you. It seems Panama Jackson knows the editor-in-chief of a local newspaper, who just might let me voice my “concerns” editorial style in a leading publication. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, is more interesting than seeing the look on both a bouncer and manager’s face like walking away and telling him…
…”I’m going to make you famous.”
So one more time for good measure…
FUCK YOU CLUB 721 IN HUNTSVILLE, ALABAMA from the bottom of my heart!
Sincerely,
Panama Muhfuckin’