Neverending Bullshit Association (NBA)
You know…the bullshit never ceases.
By now, EVERYBODY has heard/scene/argued about the fight between Ron Artest, Stephen Jackson, Jermaine O’Neal and all of Detroit AKA the Indiana Pacers versus Detroit Pistons. First and foremost, my life changed after that. I’ve never seen comedy like that in my life. I had the fortunate advantage of actually watching the game as it happened (I’m a Piston’s fan) so seeing it unfold without really knowing what was going to happen made it even better.
I mean, you have Stephen “Smackahoe” Jackson LAYING FOLKS OUT, Jermaine “Hit a White Man When He’s Down” O’Neal coming FROM OFF SCREEN OUT OF NOWHWERE to lay out a short fat white dude who isn’t even standing up yet…and yes…oh yes…
…Ron “Queensbridge’s Finest” Artest. This dude right here might be the absolute most crazy individual on the planet. I mean, Ben Wallace damn near choked/pushed him ten feet, and he calmly walks away and LAYS DOWN.
Please read that again.
This is the same dude who’s middle name should be Flagrant Foul. I was discussing this with a friend of mine and we decided that Ben Wallace told Ron Artest that if he fouled him again he was gonna hit him. Ron Artest fouled him again (not even that hard) and Ben Wallace hit him. Ron Artest could understand and respect that, ya know, since he told him ahead of time, so he just went laid down and was gonna wait until everybody calmed down so the game could resume. Kind of a controlled lunacy. Nutcase logic if you will. But having something thrown at him…THAT throws him over the edge. And you know what???
I wholefuckin’hardedly agree. Some lunatic ass fan decided to get gully and assume that air and opportunity wasn’t present and threw something. Well, we have a term for that in the black community, disrespect bitch…disrespect.
Quick Study Session For People Who Plan On Starting Fights with Players from the Stands:
1. First and foremost, for all you igmos who have never been in a fight. If you decide to throw something at somebody, especially a basketball player with a known history of beating down BLACK PEOPLE and you are white, don’t be surprised when the 6’8″ muhfucka you threw something at comes at you (even if you are the wrong guy, cuz get this, he’s coming at somebody). It’s called provocation. Provoke me and I’ll smack back…pour lotion on meeeeeeee…
Sorry, had a slight Digital Underground flashback.
Just make sure you POINT OUT THE MUHFUCKA WHO THREW THE DRINK BEFORE HE GETS TO YOU AND YOUR EYES GET ALL BIG AS YOU REALIZE YOU PICKED THE WRONG DAY TO ASSUME YOU COULD SAY WHAT YOU WANTED TO SAY.
2. If you are a fan, and you come onto the court, if you get hit…IT’S YOUR FAULT. There is absolutely no got damn reason for any fan to be on the court ESPECIALLY after a brawl breaks out in the stands. It looks like you are coming down there for a reason. It’s called provocation. You just might get combo’d by a 6’8″ black dude who is already pissed because he got mobbed in the stands. THEN you might catch a straight up mollywop by one of his teammates who has a running start, a foot and a half of height on you, and probably a good 50 pounds on you…plus a helluva of a winding punch.
3. Realize, a lot of these dudes are black folks who’ve come out of rough neighborhoods. Realize, that all of these dudes don’t just fight because something happened…some do it becuase they are gangsta like that. Like say, I don’t know, Stephen Jackson, who seemed a little TOO excited to be fighting for his boy. I mean did you see how hard he was hitting folks??? He was really into it. So realize, some people need hugs in life, and don’t receive them. When able to lash out, Stephen Jackson, will whip your ASS. And it matters not that he had anything to do with it…he’s Stephen Jackson, he’s from Port Arthur, Texas…and he will whip your ass. Just remember this. Umm…though this doesn’t really fit…but I need it to make my point…it’s called provocation.
4. Never call a bunch of black people niggas and expect to NOT GET HIT. K? It’s called provocation.
End Lesson.
I’d like to focus on the provocation part right quick, if I may. May I? Thank you. I’d like to go ahead and add the NBA to the list of organizations that I won’t be able to work for in the future, to include BET, the Charlotte Bobcats, Starbucks, Magic Johnson’s company, Alan Keyes political campaign, anything Nelly’s running, etc…because I’d like to say…
(*clearing throat*)
FUCK THE NBA AND DAVID STERN.
The rest of the season??? Ron Artest gets suspended for the rest of the season? Are you fucking kidding me? For going after a fan who provoked him first? He was laying down on the scorer’s table and gets something THROWN AT HIM. And he gets the whole season? That is some pure and utter bullshit right there, friend. I’m not in the business of pulling a Nino Brown here (taking folks down with me), but Stephen Jackson only gets 30 games? He was straight cold-cocking folks in the stands…JUST BECAUSE. At least Artest was provoked. I’ve heard of unfair before…but this takes the cake. Because I’m really feeling this right now…FUCK THE NBA.
I’m all for not attacking fans without reason. WITHOUT REASON. You can’t just go fighting fans for heckling you, or trying to distract you. It’s what fans are for. But when fans take things to the next level, where does the line get drawn on whats acceptable?
Ron Artest plays for the Indiana Pacers, and they are in Detroit. EVERYBODY is against him. Now, one might argue that it was crazy for Artest to be willing to go into the stands knowing this fact. But we’ve already learned he opereates under nutcase logic. So I expect no less. ESPECIALLY when he is provoked. And the man loses a season because of this? Every action that Artest took was in defense. Well, okay, running into the stands towards the dude isn’t really defense…
…but, he had something thrown at him. What is he supposed to do? Turn the other cheek? Act like it didn’t happen and be all sad because the people don’t like him? Fuck that…he’s Ron Artest, he’s a rapper, AND A ballplayer. He’s from Queensbridge…and first and foremost…
…he’s a man.
A grown ass man worthy of respect regardless of the venue. And when somebody challenges that respect unnecessarily, he reacted how ANYBODY would have reacted. He proceeded to seek and destroy. Don’t tell me that’s irrational behavior because it isn’t. PROV-O-CATION.
And the worst shit is, David Stern took his history into account. Unless that history involved something being thrown at him before by a bitchmade fan and him running into the stands then it should be treated as an isolated incident. I can understand giving him 30 games. I’m sure he could live with that as well. But got damn…a whole season…because somebody assaulted him??? And he responded? Something doesn’t smell right…
…bitches.
I tell you…somethings never cease to amaze me. Ron Artest knew he was going to get in some form of trouble for this. Well, being provoked and having the inability to fend for oneself cost him $5.5 million dollars of salary and 73 games.
So since I’m feeling so nice and friendly today…I’d like to send an extra special fuck you out to David Stern for not treating Ron Artest like a man, but like some commodity who is just there to perform a task despite anything that may come his way. Turn the other cheek…that’s exactly what Artest did…he turned a few cheeks on Friday night, of folks who deserved it.
Just know that in some areas of life, no matter what happens to you, it is your responsibility to act as if it didn’t happen and pretend that you are above it all. Regardless of what physical harm somebody tries to inflict upon you.
Ron Artest is an NBA player…not a man. Provocation means nothing.
The bullshit never ceases.