Celebrity Dollars, Part III…G-Unit
[***Reference: In case you don't know about my theories regarding Starbucks, please see here and here.***]
Fuck.
I don’t think you heard me.
Fuck.
You know, the result of the election has made me rethink a lot of things. And by the way, I will be cursing A LOT. Can somebody, anybody, please the fuck explain to me how George “G-Dubs” Bush has managed to dupe over half the got damn voters into believing that “cultural values” (whatever the shit that means) are more important than the war we started and are having a pretty damn hard time finishing in Iraq, and the deaths of innocent Americans and Iraqis. So much so, the fact that:
- No credible link between al-Qaeda and Saddam Hussein has been established,
- No weapons of mass destruction have been found,
- I still have no proof that Dick Cheney is actually alive,
- Gay marriage has shit to do with shit,
- People are still broke as fuck,
- Jobs are being shipped across seas with G-Dubs approval,
isn’t even important and people THOUGHT he was the right man for the job. I must be living in an alternate universe. This has led me to one undeniable, inevitable, it must be fuckin’ true conclusion:
GEORGE W. BUSH RUNS STARBUCKS.
At first I just thought that Starbucks was an independent entity determined to destroy the black and inner city communities thereby creating a better place for white people to live and work. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEW, got damn I was wrong. Starbucks and its ACTUAL leader, G-Dubs, have bigger plans.
Look, there is no stopping Starbucks…unless the people recognize what Starbucks is doing to the community. I still believe that Starbucks can be stopped, or at least negotiated with in some capacity to make sure that les negroes and les white folks can somehow manage to co-exist, or at least without the complete and utter fuckin’ displacement of les negroes!
However…
…there ain’t no stoppin’ G-Dubs. The REAL leader of the G-Unit. Fuck 50 Cent. They need to start callin’ Bush, All Mighty Dollar. Think about this shit, if Bush wants to take out a country, *cough*Iraq*cough*, this muhfucka can and is able to do so. Fuck, he already has. And yet…and fuckin’ yet…he is able to avert that problem into convincing us that other muhfucka’s are who we are supposed to be afraid of. I’m not saying terrorism isn’t real…I’m sayin’ call a fuckin’ spade a spade.
Now how does this play into Starbucks, you ask?? Well you gonna learn…you GONNA LEARN!!!! Every fucked up company needs a leader. He is simultaneously able to run two different fronts. One international with his Presidency, cuz if you think this shit is gonna stop with Iraq your bullshittin’ yourself. The other is the domestic front, through Starbucks he is able to change the inner cities into white enclaves under the guise of safety for all those that live there. Guess who is making the neighborhoods unsafe, kicko???? Us negroes, hispanics…basically that’s it. Do you all realize that at one point they were referring to gangs, crews, etc. as domestic terrorists?? How fucked up is that? You rob one muhfucka and you get Osama’d??? That just doesn’t seem right. But it is happening. And let your ass catch a terror rap for some shit, UNDER the jail might be like Club Med after that shit.
[***Sidenote: Some more shit to think about. That muhfucka was trying to get re-elected. For his entire first 4 years he was still campaigning. He couldn't piss everybody off and step on everybody's toes. Not anymore bitches. Now, he doesn't have as much pressure as he did before...this muhfucka is coasting from here on out. You remember the governor of Illinois who pardoned 4 death row black inmates because he was retiring??? Why did he do it?? Because he fuckin' could...Now imagine if you will, WHAT THE PRESIDENT COULD DO JUST CUZ HE FUCKIN' CAN???***]
And you know what else pisses me off? Shit if you don’t I’m going to tell you. It’s like the black vote really does get stifled, muzzled, fucked. I hate to pull the race shit here but I’m black, fuck you. I hate to say this shit out loud…but honestly, we can’t win. There just aren’t enough of us. We are too spread out. We are between and 12-13% of the US population. Hispanics are like 13-14% of the US population. Not only are we not all voting…we don’t have enough pull. Black issues will never fully be addressed and further than that, I don’t think Starbucks fuckin’ cares. Appealing to the black churches just to get elected doesn’t make me happy. Where the shit are you when you aren’t campaigning, Mr. Bush man…Mr. President man?
Fuckin’ roaches.
And I’ll bet this is some shit that wasn’t taken into account here…there were so many efforts to get out the Youth vote which would definitely favor Democrats. Look, a lot of Republicans might be dumb…but them muhfuckas ain’t stupid. You start telling folks that if they don’t show up to vote, the young people are going to get that nigger lover Democrat welfare bitch Kerry elected. Umm…you think that shit didn’t help this election get somewhere like 110 million folks to the polls??? It’s the same tactic that got so many Democrats and young people voting…that shit cuts both ways.
Yes, got dammit yes, I have digressed.
Back to Starbucks. Bush is able to head up a double pronged attack in his position as President of the United States and CEO of Starbucks (yes I know he isn’t the “official” CEO). The duping of America into forgetting how much bullshit has been wraught under Bush’s watch causing us to be more concerned with “values” than the fact that people are needlessly dying in Iraq everyday is why he is the head of Starbucks. That is what Starbucks does, with its evil it lulls you into a false sense of “that’s great” then pounces on your ass like Tigger or Michael Jackson on a little kid’s bed. And every Evil Empire needs a figure head.
The Yankee’s have Steinbrenner.
The Children of PBS have Barney.
and…
…Starbucks has George W. Bush…the most lethal gangster of all.
He sends your kids to die. And they have to go.
That muhfucka is the Man….and you know he drinks coffee.