Election 2004: Live From The 301
WPDJ-DC Channel 3.4 Newsbreak-Election Day Coverage in Washington, DC
Local Newscaster AKA Halle Berry lookalike: In late breaking news, Panama Jackson was spotted at a polling station in Hyattsville, MD, casting his vote for the President of the United States of America. We got a chance to catch up with Young Panama and ask him a few questions. Panama…how does it feel to have voted???
Our Political Presidential (OPP) Panama: Man…it feels good to get that out of the way. I mean between waiting for November 2nd and trying to make sure Jesse Jackson wasn’t making any last second surprise anouncements at the Presidency, I’ve been swamped. How do you feel???
HBL: Umm…wasn’t expecting any questions myself but umm…I feel…good??? Anyway, what’s the general feel at the polls?
OPP Panama: You know, its a good feeling in there. I mean between the shouts of “Fuck Bush” and seeing this many black people in one place at one time…and there is no concert…well, it actually felt pretty good. Like a family reunion almost…except without that belligerent uncle who keeps fondling your cousin…who is also his niece ya dig?? No…well, not in my family…I was just sayin’…in general…about something I had seen on TV…umm…next question!
HBL: Riiiiiiiiiiight…so with all the push by P.Diddy and Russell Simmons to get out the young vote, was the young vote present???
OPP Panama: It was definitely in effect, word up…dope style! My bad…I think I set my clock back too far on Saturday night. I live in a neighborhood filled up with lots of college students…mostly cuz its cheap and close to the ghetto, even sometimes substituting as the ghetto, and close to Howard University, and I saw lots of what appeared to be Howard Students in the hizzouse. What I also saw that had me trippin’ was the gang-banger homies up in the joint getting their vote on. Hell I saw one dude with the old-school half-cornrowed, half-afro loook coming out the polls. If that’s because of Diddy, well, he’s alright with me.
HBL: So you are saying the “Vote or Die” campaign really got to a large audience??
OPP Panama: Hell yeah. In fact, it surprised me that I only saw one person with a “Vote or Die” t-shirt on. But then I realized, I live in the hood, and started paying closer attention. People were apparently saving their real “Vote or Die” shirts for the clubs and wearing home-made “Vote or Die” shirts for election day. Yes…I saw more than one home-made “Vote or Die” shirts today at the polls. Though the women wearing them were quite nice…
HBL: Panama, that’s not important at all.
OPP Panama: I would have to disagree with you, because it would seem that voting turned my polling station into the club. And for that I must give credit to Bush. He pissed people off so badly, even the fine women are out at 845am voting looking like LL Cool J was a surprise guest. And its hard to EVER find the fine women in DC. It’s almost like they don’t exist here or something.
[***DISCLAIMER: I agree with everything I've just said. End disclaimer.***]
OPP Panama (cont’d): Add that to the fact that fine women bring out men…well all its gonna take is the right person on the radio to mention that he saw a dime-piece at the polls and negroes will be out in full force. In fact, the candidates were going about getting black folks voting all wrong. To get the men, you put fine women at all the polling places and have them say “Vote Kerry” in deep dulcet and lush tones. And to get the black women voting…get Boris Kodjoe, Taye Diggs, Morris Chesnutt, taller versions of Larenz Tate, and any other black male celebrity du jour and have them show up at poll stations across the country.
And to get old black people…tell them Jesse Jackson is on the ballot…again.
HBL: So you are saying that black people need an incentive to vote? Is that what you are saying Panama???
OPP Panama: Yes. When was the last time you DIDN’T show up for free food? In fact, if they had a free breakfast buffet at the polls…it would be a wrap! Though it seems that people hating Bush got all the black people to the polls anyway. I mean I waited in line for like 2 hours to vote.
HBL: Alright, Panama…thanks for the interview…though it was a bit strange. Any last words??
OPP Panama: I’d just like to say that it was something beautiful to see all the black folks out voting today and wanting to be apart of something when so many of our ancestors couldn’t. Especially the dudes that look like they might rob me tomorrow. I got to say that I can appreciate the work that everybody has done to convince people to get out and vote. I’ve talked to folks in Atlanta, LA, and have heard about some folks in Ohio, and they are saying that the people were out in full force. Vote or Die, bitches. Ain’t no time like the present to make a better tomorrow…
HBL: This has been a Halle Berry Lookalike for WPDJ News in Washington, DC.
Vote or Die.