Double Standard. noun. def. holding a person or group to a standard that you have no intention of holding yourself too, furthering your place in life as a jackass, and ruining any further credibility you might maintain
Today, dammit, today I want to talk about double standards. The type of double standards that have further given me reason to believe that as black people…
…we ain’t gonna make it.
[***DISCLAIMER: To anybody who might become offended by what I'm about to write here about black people and our ability to be full of shit, please, oh please, kiss my ass. I'm about to kick some real shit. Thank you.***]
First things first, a while back I gave Alan Keyes the nod as being the Most Ignant Black Person in America, having stolen the crown fair and square from Nelly AKA the St. Louis Swiper. However, Nelly not known for being okay with second best (remember the song “#1″?) has proven once again why he is worthy of the crown. According to this, Nelly feels that politics have no place in hip-hop. Take a gander:
The rapper, whose real name is Cornell Haynes, Jr. urged fellow entertainers to keep politics out of music if they want to stay successful in a recent interview with Blender magazine.
??If you want to do the politics thing, be more involved personally, but you could talk about that and then tomorrow wake up and you?₯re not selling records. So now you protested the war??and your broke!??-Nelly AKA the St. Louis Swiper
So I must say, Congratulations goes to Nelly for rightfully reacquiring the title he is so most assuredly deserving of: Most Ignant Black Person In America. Kudos!
Now back to our regularly scheduled program:
By now, everybody has heard the controversy surrounding Eminem and his newest creative endeavor, the video for “Just Lose It,” a video which spoofs Michael Jackson (among others) even going so far as to have Em beckoning the little ones to his lap while dressed like Mike. Poor taste, maybe. Going to hell, definitely (it’s Eminem). Funny, damn straight. Well apparently, some of the more high profile members of the black community are up in arms at this latest dig at Mike. Steve Harvey says that Em needs to have his ghetto pass revoked. Robert Johnson has even had BET pull the video from its rotation because its in poor taste.
Please read that last sentence again. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
(*humming “Somebody Loves You” by The Delfonics*)
Yes, that last sentence says what you think it says. Robert Johnson has pulled the video because its in poor taste. I must be living in an alternate universe. Bob…is it okay if I call you Bob?? No? Fuck you…Bob, why in the shit would you think pulling a video that pokes fun at Michael Jackson (which EVERYBODY has done) is in poor taste, but running a show that caters to the degradation of black women, is okay??? I mean you have an entire show DEDICATED to it! And what would the higher ups at BET say to this???
Children should not be watching TV at 3AM anyway! Don’t blame us, blame parenting. (*scratching head*) Exactly…they don’t have an answer for that.
Thank you Bob Johnson, for having the moral audacity to pull a video that spoofs a man who has been accused of molesting children for something over 10 years…because he called you. Not that it matters much, nobody gives a shit about BET anymore anyway. But really, good googly moogly. And, I like Mike…but Mike has about as much pull in the music industry as say…me…right now, so why would you pull that video when the women at Spelman College are complaining, as well as women everywhere, about the type of videos that are being played on BET…that shit, I don’t know, only degrade women? Regardless if they show up to be in the videos, you still are playing them. Guilty, as charged bitch.
Guess that isn’t so important to you. Is it, Bob?? Is it? Pure and utter bullshit.
And Steve Harvey. Good got damn. This is a negro who has made fun of Michael Jackson in his own routines. And he wants Eminem to have his ghetto pass revoked. So let me get this right Steve. Is it okay if I call you Steve?? No…Fuck you. Steve, why is it okay for everybody and their mama to make fun of Michael Jackson, to include Chris Rock and numerous other celebrities…but Eminem does it in a video, and we are ready to call the National Guard??? Get the fuck out of here Steve. Where’s your call to stop BET from playing “Tip Drill”?
Granted, Eminem should have never used the word nigga. And he had no business calling black women bitches. Wait, let me rephrase that…NOBODY has any business calling black women bitches. But Eminem (he’s white) does it and its fucked up…but since black men have been doing it on record for years, and since we are black we are hereby given the privelege to refer to our black women as bitches (cuz that’s okay…same color!) so that ain’t a problem.
Can we please cut out the stupid double standard hypocritical bullshit????
The really stupid thing is this. When the whole Eminem vs. Black People controversy first hit, more people were upset at him calling black women bitches than they were for his use of the word nigga. I thought I had missed something. I couldn’t figure out why folks were picking THAT fight when black men been doing it on record for years. Double fuckin’ standard. It’s okay for us to do it remember? But a white dude…no ‘effin way dude! I thought that I was going crazy.
And you know what…let’s get back to good ole Bob. See, for some reason, he’s been flying under my radar as the most ignant black person. I guess since he’s not as vocal he tends to get lost in the shuffle. Well…time’s up bitch. Please help me understand how its possible to find Eminem’s video tasteless and disrespectful, when you run with and have brought on as a part owner of your NBA franchise, the Charlotte Bobcats, the creator of the “Tip Drill” video. In fact, the unapologetic creator the “Tip Drill” video. Nelly wants to do more of those. So that’s not disrespectful at all. Oh shit, my bad, its only disrespectful to women, not black people. Whereas Eminem is doing all this damage to the black community.
Nelly has only created “Tip Drills”, said fuck you to anybody who has a problem with it, created Pimpjuice, created the P.I.M.P. Scholarship, and currently says politics has no place in hip-hop music. But damn that Eminem for spoofing Mike!!
Big Bob has even gone so far as to say this dumb shit:
“BET pulled the video because we feel it is inappropriate to use our network to air a video disparaging Michael’s character, or that of any other celebrity…”
Women and any other celebrity not named Michael Jackson are okay.
And this is the stupid shit that gets to me. So its okay for black people to degrade our women. A white man does it…boycott his shit and do your best to destroy his reputation. Black women complain about their treatment in videos…and whoopty got damn doo, but Mike calls in cause somebody has put a video spoof out of Mike beckoning the little ones. For real, after that Martin Basheer (sp?) came on television…was there anybody who didn’t make fun of Mike?? It ain’t like everybody came to his defense. Steve, would you leave your kids at Mike’s house for the weekend? How about you Bob? But you’d leave your kids with Nelly, cuz he’s a standup citizen, and all about the upliftment of the people. Why, thanks to his P.I.M.P. scholarship…more of our youth will make it into college, regardless of their grades, as long as they got the activities in their background to warrant it. Now that’s progress!
All these dumb ass double standards and fucked up priorities are why black folks ain’t gonna make it. We care more that Eminem spoofs Michael Jackson in a video than we do that many of our video’s degrade women. Mike calls, Bob pulls the video. His wife complains, and she gets, “Naw honey, UNCUT is a big seller for us. Can’t cut it!” Pure and utter bullshit. And since Eminem’s a white boy (and he really is!) he can’t make fun of Mike…he’s ours. Since he started out black we lay claim to him. Backstreet Boys, ‘Nsync, Britney, or Christina, are all okay for him to make fun of though. I’m calling bullshit.
So, to recap. Steve Harvey, full of shit; Bob Johnson, contender for Most Ignorant Black Person in America, and full of shit; Nelly AKA the St. Louis Swiper, current Most Ignorant Black Man in America, and completely full of shit; anybody who has a problem with “Just Lose It” but buys Nelly products, full of shit and go kill yourself; and anybody who has a problem with what I’ve said here, full of shit and kiss my ass.
Sorry, but I’m gonna have to go with Eminem on this one…
…cuz I’m about to just lose it.
[***Bonus: I'm going to open up the floor for nominations for the Most Ignorant Black Person in America. I'm sure there are numerous individuals worth the nod so please people don't be shy! Just place your nominee in the comments and coming soon, right here at Jackson G. Tickle Enterprises HQ, we will have the Most Ignorant Black Person in America Pageant. Let the nominations flow...***]
[*EDIT (10/14/04): This just in...we have a new nominee. Ray Benzino. I have NO idea how I have forgotten about him, but he honestly deserves his own post. But please go here, to understand why Ray Benzino has been added to Most Ignorant Black Person in America! Ray makes a very solid case.*]