This Land Is Your Land, This Land Is My Land!
Scene: Washington, DC, on the Steps of the Capitol as The People try to hold Protest Panama back…
The People: No, quit, don’t rock the boat!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?
Protest Panama (I’m really going to start marketing these joints as dolls, er, I mean, action figures): Fuck that, somebody’s got to say it!!!!!!
The People: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…
I’m going to go ahead and say it…
I want my 40 acres.
They can keep the damn mule. What with all the “When Animals Attack” stories popping up all over the news nowadays, it wouldn’t surprise me if the mule started tripping.
Then who’s the jackass??
Shit, ask Roy…
But really, I want my land. You see, after the Civil War, General William T. Sherman promised (in the midst of burning down Georgia) 40 acres of land and a mule to all of the freed slaves as part of the whole Reconstruction deal. Actually, it was meant only for the families of coastal South Carolina and Florida, but let’s act like this fact doesn’t exist.
Okay??? Okay.
On my recent trip to Las Vegas, I happened to look out of the airplane window as I made my first cross-country flight. I have never been to the West Coast so this was my first time getting this far. And you know what I saw out of my window? A lot of got damn land that NOBODY was using. Granted a lot of it could have very well been in Wyoming or some other random state that nobody cares about…but shit, if its there…I want it. There really is a lot of land out there that nobody is occupying.
It truly amazed me. I was looking out of this airplane window and observing the great American landscape. America’s heartland is huge. Living over here on the East Coast you really don’t get the chance to appreciate America too often. We don’t have any open space. Damn near every usable piece of land has something on it: church, liquor store, hooker, etc.
So it was on this flight that it dawned on me. America REALLY could give us, black people that is, each 40 acres. Whether or not we put anything on it is a moot point. And I also know that President Andrew Jackson vetoed the plan, but really Big And Dog…y’all could have done it. And Big Bush Dog could still right this wrong. With Big Congress Dog’s help of course.
Now what would I do with my 40 acres since I want it??? Who knows, probably nothing. But if I decide I want to do something I should be able too. If I decide that I want to go sit and pick my toenails on my private property for 40 days and 6 nights…well, by Jiminy Crickett…I should be able too.
Now, just to be a little pessimistic here, I’m one of those people that doesn’t think Reparations are ever coming. Nor do I think that monetary reparations is a good thing (I wrote a paper on this outlining MY considerations for reparations, maybe one day I’ll post it here). UNLESS…we get 40 got damn acres of land to build whatever the shit we want too. Man, negroes would build clubs, record studios. If they gave all black people our 40 acres, and some reparations money, and concentrated it into a certain area where we could all pool our assets and create a truly black run and operated city (I hate to say this…I really do, but I’m also assuming here that this black run city wouldn’t allow backbiting and the “crabs in a barrel” mentality to run itself into the ground). And I’m not talking Detroit people!!!
I’m talking about a city that people would actually want to live in here!!!! Of course, after it is bombed and America’s black population is dwindled to a mere 3 %, and Matrix like conditions exist for black people and Babylon is what we are left with…maybe just maybe I’ll think it wasn’t such a good idea! But until then…
You know what…I think I digressed in there somewhere, big time.
But back to my point. I want my 40 acres. Now I recognize I just can’t run up to Congress and say…”bitch give me my land.” Obviously I’d have to be a little more nuanced and finessed about my methods. So I’ve created a few reasons that Congress should give me my damn 40 acres. Heeeeeeeeeeeere we go:
Panama’s 4 Reasons Uncle Sam Should Give Me My Land, Bitch
1) Because they can. We’re gonna have a little math lesson right quick. The United States has something like 9 billion acres on it. (I actually did the math, and converting acres to meters to kilometers is a bitch…thank you.) I’m assuming that a lot of that is being used up. If every black person was given 40 acres, and I’m assuming something like 35 million black folks, that’s roughly 261 acres per person (9 billion divided by the 35 million). We only want 15% of that (40). That leaves almost 8 billion acres left. Shit…that sounds like a whole lot of damn land left. And I know every major city isn’t using all of that, which means there’s a lot of land available. Give me my land bitch.
2) Cuz so many other promises fell through. Shit, there STILL is racial inequality today. It wasn’t more than 40 years ago that governors were standing in the doorways of universities barring black students from attending. There is still housing discimination, education disparities, and restaurant priveleges. They lucky we should have known better with Cracker Barrell (I mean they told us with the title, how fuckin’ obvious can they be) cuz that could have easily been a target on the “Shit that Needs to be burnt down” list. So, sumumabitch, its time to right them wrongs! You give me my land…It’d be a good start…
3) Shit we don’t own no houses (at least I don’t), I’d feel better about myself with a few acres to call my own. Like I said earlier, whether I use it or not is irrelevant…I just want my own shit. Between student loans and car payments, I’m not gonna own myself until I’m around 35. Give me my land, bitch.
and, finally…
4) Well, its only right, and I’d even say please. God and my kindergarten teacher said “Share.” We obviously don’t have anything…so give it over! Share, bitch.
Give me my land, bitch.
Clearly I’m talking about Uncle Sam AKA Starbucks here…not necessarily white people giving up the land. Cuz while I’m at it…I want all the poor white people to get some got damn land too. Damn that, I want poor everybody to get some land too, regardless of race, creed, or color!!! This is my decree! All I know is that, I’ve seen the vast homeland we call America out of my airplane window…now I want some of it…
Is that so much to ask?????