Jackson G. Tickle Enterprises Presents…Panama’s Propositions

Yo…the NBA Finals, the World Series, the freakin’ Stanley Cup, Roc tha Mic Freestyle, first sexual experience etc. (you get the point) ain’t got nothing on the Scripps Howard Spelling Bee on ESPN2 nonetheless. I ain’t never seen no pressure like this. It’s crazy, these little 8-12 year olds are on national television, staring down the barrel of a gun, and knocking some of these words clean out. It’s like every word is a free throw in Game 7 of the NBA championship with no time left on the clock, for all the marbles. EXCEPT for this one chick who got the word “facade”. I’m sorry…but if lil Abu has to spell “sciapodous” there is no way in the hell anybody should only have to spell “facade”. I mean I can’t even pronounce some of these words.

There’s even this one kid (Mar.shall Win.chester) who got up there with confidence, like Kobe in the Finals, Barry Bonds at the plate, Snoop at the Player’s Ball, and spelled “zarzuela”…in like two seconds???? Did a little Howard Dean scream afterwards to boot. For my money, he’s a lock to win the whole thing.

Zitrophyre…Lubavitcher…shit I might have misspelled those words AND I’M WATCHING THEM FLOAT ACROSS MY TELEVISION SCREEN.

Yes I have just written about the spelling bee…and yes these kids are as gangsta as they get. The might get their lunch money taken, but they can spell “vibrissae”…very fast!

Damn, Mar.shall Win.chester lost, but he’ll be back next year. Bet on that…

Spelling, the new national sport of nerds.

Funny how that doesn’t apply here even in the slightest…

And so it begins, tales, triumphs, backhands, pimpslaps, and forays into what may be the best of times and worst of times…all at the same time. Think its a game…then its Ghettopoly. (Though I’ve never even seen the game…did they actually use money in that game, I mean really in the “ghetto”, ain’t folks supposed to be flat broke…I mean are they substituting Kool-Aid packets instead?? It’s important to know these things!)

Music, money, hoes, clothes…open season like baseball.

Welcome to class…Stunt 101.