In my last post I was talking about making my kids smart enough…smart enough to be a rapper or anything they want to be that can make the millionaires. And then it hit me…doof…I got to teach my kid to be a rapper…not a good rapper, just a good enough rapper(see how this *blank* enough shit really works in almost every facet of life???).
You can’t teach athleticism, but you can sure as hell create a rapper. I think I saw one of them stores in a mall by me: Kre8*-A-Rapper, right next to the Build-A-Bear store.
Well since I like doing the whole how to thing…similar to my guide to being deep, I decided to create the how to be a rapper manual. Except…since its rap, I thought it would be only right if I wrote a song to go along with it. You know, a rap song. And since I’m a rapper with an album coming out…I’ll just make it my first single. Hook and ladder…straight bars of spittin’…check it out.
JACKSON G. TICKLE ENTERPRISES PRESENTS A PDJAKES PRODUCTION…The first single of PANAMA JACKSON’S HIGHLY ANTICIPATED DEBUT ALBUM “my mama’s music” (shout outs to Ethel, ya dig)…”how to (the 10 rap commandments)”
“How To (the 10 rap commandments)”
[beat drops]
(talking) so you wanna be a rapper huh dun son…you wanna be like me
you gotta know the ledge…EARLY
Verse 1:
so you wanna be a rapper
then its some rules you gotta follow/
stay awake and pay attention
dont lose your head like sleepy hollow/
and like emmanuel lewis imma keep it short/
then open the floor for comments in case you wanna retort/
im gonna resort to droppin’ science you can understand/
like a pimp with hoes, in other terms, call it the layman/
so now to begin or rather whats the first step /
rule number one have a story you got to be a street vet/
and get some credibility shit make it all up/
make sure noone can check your references then shut the fuck up/
the more work the better even if you aint stack no cheddar/
just say you can’t talk about it then the game you are ahead of/
rule number 2 might be hard for the average joe/
(but not you) get shot in the leg back arm head and the toe/
the more you know this shit worked for lots of other rappers/
9 shots been done go for 10 its what’s happenin’ cap’n/
step 3 is simply the easy route to take for stardom/
get a lot of throwback jerseys from the store or shit just borrow’em/
up in Harlem you can get ‘em on the corner for cheap/
every rapper in the game got jerseys of niggas you need/
niggas bleed…
[chorus]x2(sung by random r and b diva)
…its the 10 rap commandments…(scratched in primo style) jump startin’ careers then rockin’ diamonds from debeers…what you know?
step 4 is so important i’m not sure how to proceed/
simply stated but underrated nigga you need some street beef/
call out some famous rapper and try to end his career/
i suggest staying away from Em, Jay, 50 cent, or their peers/
one bad move can totally fuck up your rise to the top/
ask joe buddens canibus pras ja rule and other niggas that flopped/
to get to the top you need a track to get them girls looser/
number 5 suggests callin Kanye or Dre’s real producer/
a hot track can overshadow the fact that you suck/
see careers of rappers ja rule and his buddy young buck/
down on your luck? is your esteem lacking fo shizzle/
step 6 hit the gym bitch get buff and all chiseled/
work out incessantly situps and pushups become da man/
and try not to be too ugly like 5/6 of Da Band/
number 7…you need some fake jewelry and shit/
though gettin’ robbed can either end or start your career right quick/
the more bling the better dumb as that shit may be/
cuz you claim you from the hood that just sounds like you got to me/
but we’ll see…
[Chorus]x2
we damn near there to where your career needs to be/
steps 8-10 are gonna be fun son you’ll see/
now everybody needs a hero some nigga to try to copy/
step 8 suggests Pac you know a thug nigga with a hobby/
everybody loves Pac and thereby has ripped his whole steez/
check out the West, south, midwest and the east/
you can’t go nowhere without feeling that niggas presence/
gettin’ rich off his legacy, dead niggas learn this lesson/
number 9 should have been number 1 to me/
if you aint been to jail shoot a nigga first thing/
along with your story some jail time would help/
like 50 cent even a boot camp would do just swell/
and last but not least the most important thing to do/
number 10 be able to read and rhyme simple words duke/
you aint got to be good hell most rappers suck/
you just got to be something like smart…dun son that’s good enough/
follow these rules you’ll have mad bread to break up/
if not putting groceries in bags when you wake up/
gotta go get my money caked up then im fixin to take me a vacation to jamaica/
y’all don’t want none…
[chorus]x3
Panama Jackson “my mama’s music” In stores soon! EARLY!
WUT DA FUCK????????????!!!!!!!!!!!