Racemixin' and Welcome to Blackness27 May 2009 11:57 am

F*ck what you heard, but anybody who claims that Black people don’t influence EVERYBODY is full of sh*t.

Seems to me like everybody takes a page from the Black Folks Book of Being.

Maybe me and my boy Maverick can get K-Fed, Justin Timberlake, Vanilla Ice, and Chris “Birdman” Anderson to promote the day properly.

Wonder if Hallmark will get in on this?

A Life In The Day of Panama... and Randomness27 May 2009 11:33 am

I’m considering bringing back some of Panama’s propositions. I mean its been a long time. And really, I shouldn’t have left you. Lucky for you, I left you with some dope writes to read to.

Anyway, today might mark the beginning of the end. Like a New Edition reunion show.

Woosah, bitches.

A Life In The Day of Panama... and Education31 Mar 2008 10:00 am

Good morning.

Today I’d like to introduce you to a new website that myself and The Champ aka The Artist Formerly Known as d.young of The Royal Youngs have begun.

Very Smart Brothas.

It’s a relationship-centric blog since as you all know, d.young aka The Champ and I are nothing short of motherfucking Svengalis on the relationship tip. We know how to tank them and make them last forever like a Keith Sweat on-bended-knee session. Bitches.

Plus, we’re just smarter than the average person. It’s true — there’s science out there to back up this assertion. And in case you can’t find it, my science is better than yours anyway.

The site shall be updated thrice weekly and we’ll be alternating weeks or on very special occasions when we feel like the people are worthy, we shall be updating on the same day. It will be a place to laugh and to cry.

The Champ has kicked it off today with a short discussion about emotional cheating. Ooooh the tension.

Gar.

So come join myself and The Champ at Very Smart Brothas as we attempt to cause arguments for the hell of it but also enlighten your lives because face it, the world is one big ass blackout…

…until somebody brightens up your day.

Tell a friend, tell a Roman. Hell tell a crackhead if they have computer access. And yes people, I actually WILL BE updating that on my required schedule of three times a week.

Very Smart Brothas — where amazing happens.

And mostly because we’re very smart brothas.

A Life In The Day of Panama... and Education14 Mar 2008 09:54 am

My girlfriend saw a mouse yesterday.

She doesn’t do mice. At all. Needless to say, she showed up at my place in some house shoes and a smirk that said, “We’ll go half on your rent from here on out.”

Now to me, mice are cute. And we’re bigger than them. If we don’t like them, we can kick them into 2nd Orbit or for us–we have a cat–we can let our feline have at it. Which is what ended up happening. In the midst of our conversation, after me having made it abundantly clear that mice just do not scare me she said that “not much scares you”.

Hmmm…though mice don’t really scare me (rats on the other hand are the devil spawn), that’s not completely true. I can think of lots of things that scare me. Follow me.

    Panama’s Phobias – If I See It, Imma Do Me and Be The Fuck Out

Suge Knight – I’ve never met the man nor do I have any intention of ever doing so. In fact, I never want him to know my name. There’s a reason he’s the most feared man in hip-hop – he killed Biggie, Tupac, and probably had something to do with Mother Theresa questioning her religion. Of course, I can’t prove the latter, but you can’t prove that I can’t prove the latter.

Except that I said I can’t prove the latter. Le sigh.

Pythons - And I’m not talking muscles either. Let’s say that I got off work and showed up at my home. I walk up to my door and pick a little yellow flower from the flowerbed neslted near my entryway. I smile. Look up at the sun and bask in the glow of the rays of the sun. The world is good. Life is good. I turn my key and open my door. I step inside. If I see a python I’m screaming like a bitch. And I mean I’m registering somewhere near dog-whistle on the sharpness scale. Not only am I screaming, I’m running and vowing never to return to my home. I don’t care if they do a Discovery Channel special on removing that python from my home and I have visual proof that it ain’t there. Pythons eat people.

And I mean really, why the hell was it in my place in the first place? What if I show up and a Boa Constrictor is there chilling watching the 4th season of The Wire or some shit? I’d totally concede the apartment…AND still pay rent. For some reason, I just can’t really see a good reason to piss off a boa constrictor. His first name is already Boa, I’d imagine he had some kind of self-esteem issues from Snake Elementary School. Python screams power. Boa? Not so much.

The IRS - There’s an age old adage that says, “The only certain things in life are death and taxes.” Well, you can escape death. That is unless you go see Miracle Max and he gives you one of those chocolate coated Miracle pills. But even then you have to only be mostly dead, not all the way dead. It helps if you’re white and lived in the 1400′s too. Anyway, we know death is coming so the IRS can’t be far behind. Hell, the IRS even shows up AFTER your dead. They scare me. This is how gangsta the IRS is; peep game.

You have a job and before you even see your paycheck, the IRS has ALREADY taken their cut. It’s like they’re on a daily punk mission. You don’t even get your money until they get theirs. You know what we call that in the real world? Bitchmadeness. You know what we call that in the legal world? Extortion. You know what the IRS calls it? Their just due. Bitches.

And let’s not even get on the subject of an audit. You can’t run from that shit. Hell, sometimes you have to have a heart attack and die for them just to get off your case. Word to Ken Lay.

Getting stranded with no gas on the middle of a stretch of highway in Utah or West Virginia - I’ve got an active imagination. I envision a cadre of white people that hate Black people descending upon me while I walk 80 miles for a gas station and getting eaten alive by the zombies who can’t stand day light. I’m a survivor, I’ll never give up. Destiny’s Child meet I Am Legend.

Hmm…am I the only person who is surprised they never played that in the movie? But Bob Marley? Destiny’s Child…so much hotter than Bob Marley. Speaking of Destiny’s Child. Kelly’s new boobage? Me likey long time. Fill out those shirts girl. Fill ‘em out! I know a chick who recently got a boob job. She touches them all the time. Can’t keep her hands off herself.

There’s no story there, I just felt like sharing.

Sharing is caring. The more you know.

*ding*

Getting kicked in the nuts with some steel-toed boots – Not sure this needs explanation but that scares the shit out of me. I’ve had some 5 pound weights thrown at me before that landed right where the sun don’t shine. I. was. done. for. two. days.

I wonder if I’ve ever brought this up before. I know people have their different theories on what Hell is really like. I envision that Hell is where your worst fear happens over and over for eternity. I’d HATE to be the dude who’s worst fear is getting kick in the nuts. Imagine that shit a bazillion times over. I’m trying to be afraid of flowers or something.

More nuttage: Getting my nuts caught in a door - Say I’m doing naked cartwheels in my house one day…and I’m having a dinner party. Why would I be doing naked cartwheels during a dinner party? I have no clue. Anyway, say I’m doing a carthweel thru my hallway and somebody goes in the bathroom and because I’m King Beef, they slam the door and my shit gets slammed in the door. Seriously, that’s some scary shit. That’s on par with clowns.

Clowns - Okay, so I was only scared of clowns for a year after I saw Stephen King’s “It”. But what a year it was. Fucked up shit is that the day I saw it, I was at my uncle’s house in Alabama and I was sleeping in my cousin’s room. And what, oh what, did she have painted on her walls? Fucking clowns.

Ugly aggressive women – This is an actual fear of mine. There is nothing more scary than an aggressive ugly woman. Throw in portly and I’m shaking in a corner with a blanket and the Bible. I’ve been accosted by a busted bold broad before and she just wouldn’t take no for an answer. And seemed to get visibly upset that I wasn’t interested. So I ran her over with my car.

People who like Soulja Boy as an actual rapper - They might get you killed.

Tarantulas - Look. Daddy Long Legs don’t put the fear in my heart. But a spider that needs a haircut? Fuck that. Spider’s with locs are Black spiders and Black spiders might be packing heat. If I see a random errant Tarantula in my house, fuck it, I’m gone. I saw Arachnophobia. I also saw Charlotte’s Web. So you can add spiders that can read and write to the list of shit that scares me. No Seuss for you!

That’ll do it for now. Hug me.

Education and In The News12 Mar 2008 09:36 am

For years, we’ve been trying to figure out how to get kids to stop schlumping each other at the tender ages of 12-19.

“Wait,” they’d say. And nary an adult ever offered up a really good reason as to not get to some teenage sexxing. Well, aside from that whole teenage pregnancy thing and teenage parenthood thing. But that’s the girl’s problem right?!

Well, NOW, I’ll be damned if we don’t have the best way to reach the kids. By now most folks have heard about the CDC study that claims 1 in 4 teenage girls has an STD. To wit:

At least one in four teenage girls nationwide has a sexually transmitted disease, or more than 3 million teens, according to the first study of its kind in this age group.

A virus that causes cervical cancer is by far the most common sexually transmitted infection in teen girls aged 14 to 19, while the highest overall prevalence is among black girls — nearly half the blacks studied had at least one STD. That rate compared with 20 percent among both whites and Mexican-American teens, the study from the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found.

Um damn.

It seems that teenage pregnancy is on the decline these days which means that kids are either taking the route to abstain or are being smarter about their protective practices. And honestly, I’m not sure school of thought I believe more. With so much drama in the LBC…

Ooops.

With so much information out there in the world today available to a younger generation that’s clearly into information, it’s quite possible that little girls are just saying “No” like we used to do to drugs. Word to Nancy Reagan. However, that same information might be scaring boys into rocking the Jimmie hats. Though I wonder if condom consumption is at an all time high.

But clearly there are lots of kids who are still going to be fucking. It’s inevitable and it’s life. Grownups should accept it and make sure that you provide your kids with all the information they need to make informed decisions. So, for the rest of the kids who will inevitably be fucking, I suggest that we plaster a banner in every classroom across the nation that says:

THERE ARE 20 GIRLS IN THIS CLASS. 5 OF THEM MIGHT BE BURNING. ARE YOU REALLY WILLING TO TAKE THE CHANCE ON BEING WRONG?

Mister…I’m burning up…mister. What have I done stuck my dick in? ~ “Look Who’s Burnin’” Ice Cube Death Certificate

Thing is, I’m half serious about this. For some reason, the risk of pregnancy doesn’t register with boys and in many cases young girls. But throw in a little, “Boy, you might fuck around with the wrong girl and your dick might fall off. No really, read this study from CDC, 25 percent of the girls in your school got something!!!”

Who cares if the math is a little fuzzy or the extrapolation is a wee bit off. The message clearly wouldn’t get across to many boys but I’ll bet if you’d told me in high school when I got my career off the ground that these chicks were running around as internal laboratories, I might have put the career on hold.

Who am I kidding. Young boys don’t care. They’re dumb like the dude Dru on the new season of BET’s College Hill. All they want is pussy.

Nevermind.

Racemixin'11 Mar 2008 02:05 pm

Am I the only Black person who’s slightly baffled by white people’s complete fascination with the now ended-cable only televisoin show The Wire?

White people freakin’ loved that show. I know Black folks who never watched it but I can walk into my bathroom at work and hear two random white people talking about The Wire. And I mean they read all the articles published about it and go out searching for more information.

Hell, I feel like if I was from West Baltimore, I’d get a raise.

A Life In The Day of Panama... and Celebrity Fun and Ignorance03 Mar 2008 12:24 pm

…Look at what I bring to the table. ”

Those were the words written by Prodigy of Mobb Deep. On his personal blog, Ballerina P decided to unleash unto the world the trends and shit that he is responsible for in the rap game. (taken from nahright.com)

No, seriously. And we are all better for it. I’m telling you, I’m a little sad the imp is on his way to jail…with nuggets like these, we might need to petition the judge for a suspended sentence on grounds of necessary unintentional comedy. I mean, if we are to believe that what the world needs now, is love, sweet love…then how can we send Prodigy to jail when he so eloquently lets us know why she love him. To wit:

    TRENDS PRODIGY HAS SET SINCE 1992 AND STILL IS SETTING IN 2008 AND BEYOND:

#1 TATTOO’S ON MY CHEST, ARMS AND HAND SINCE I WAS 12 YEARS OLD

#2 RAPPING WORDS THAT DONT ALWAYS RHYME

#3 PUTTING WORDS TOGETHER THAT DONT RHYME AND MAKING THEM RHYME “big guns down in santa barbray, my crew do it the mobb way every day, crime pay who wanna gun play thrill me. niggas kill me grillin me you wanna look peep the 9 milly now undress you know the drilly. niggas suspect weak links pose threat, i have yet to met challenger who go against my set”

#4 CUSTOM MADE JEWELERY INSTEAD OF THE POPULAR MOLDS.

#5 HOW I FOLD MY BANDANA

#19 WEB SITES, I HAD INFAMOUSSTORES.COM AND WAS WRITING BLOGS BACK IN 99 LONG BEFORE IT BECAME POPULAR IN HIP HOP TO HAVE A WEB SITE.

Oh Prodigy, how fortunate are we that you exist.

Snicker.

Well, since Prodigy seems to be delusional.as.the.fuck. I figured I’d go ahead and bite his style since you know, niggas be questioning my trendsetting and shit. Now, keep in mind, some of this shit may or may not be true. But fuck it, how dare YOU question PANAMA’S trendsetting!!!!

    TRENDS PANAMA HAS SET SINCE 2004 AND IS STILL SETTING IN 2008 AND BEYOND:

#1 FIRST NIGGA TO START NAMING HIMSELF AFTER A COUNTRY ON A BLOG. WORD.LIFE.SON. WASN’T NO OTHER NIGGA RUNNIN’ AROUND CALLIN’ HIS SELF PANAMA. NOW ITS NIGGAS LEFT AND RIGHT WITH COUNTRY NAMES LIKE RON MEXICO AND ASIA AND SHIT.

#2 YO WASN’T NOBODY ELSE SAYING THEY WAS SEXXY AND SHIT BEFORE I STARTED THIS SEXXY SHIT. YO SON, AND ALL THEM NIGGAS THAT STARTED MISSPELLING SEXXY WITH TWO AND THREE X’S…BEEN DOING THAT SINCE DAY ONE. SPEAKING OF THAT SHIT…

#3 WASN’T NOBODY REALLY MISSPELLING SHIT AND HAVING GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN THEIR SHIT UNTIL I STARTED DOING THAT SHIT SON. NIGGAS WAS ALL SPELLING SHIT RIGHT AND USING PROPER SYNTAX UNTIL I BROUGHT THAT REAL eSTREET LINGO TO THE NET SON. WORD TO THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY NIGGA.

#4 FIRST NIGGA TO FALL ASLEEP AT A BLOGGERS HAPPY HOUR AND MAKE IT LOOK PLANNED AND SEXXY. YO SON, CHECK THE STATS. WASN’T NO NIGGA DOING THAT BEFORE I HIT THE SCENE, KID. AND Y’ALL NIGGAS THINK FALLING ASLEEP CUZ YOU DRUNK WAS SOME SHIT YOU STARTED? FUCK THAT. HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY TRENDSETTING, LOOK AT WHAT I BRING TO THE TABLE.

#5 THE WAY I USE THE ‘K’ KEY ON THE KEYBOARD. I USE MY POINTER FINGER. REST OF Y’ALL NIGGAS IS STILL ON SOME MIDDLE FINGER SHIT.

#6 FOR THAT MATTER, THE WAY I USE THE WHOLE DAMN KEYBOARD. Y’ALL NIGGAS BE TYPING. I BE PAINTING NIGGA. I BE PAINTING.

#7 FIRST CAT TO GET WHOLE POSTS STOLEN AND THEN HUMILIATE THE NIGGAS ON BLOG. BITCH ASS NIGGAS WAS DEFINITELY GETTIN’ ROASTED.

#8 RECEIVING BUTT NAKED ASS PICTURES OF RANDOM BLOG-GROUPIES? ME SON. ALL ME.

#9 BLOG-GROUPIES? ME SON. ALL ME.

#10 SHIT HOW MANY HALFBREED ASS FRENCH NEGROES NAMED PANAMA YOU KNOW OUT THERE NOW? 10? 20? WHO YOU THINK STARTED THE HALFBREED NAMED PANAMA SHIT? HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY TRENDSETTING, LOOK AT WHAT I BRING TO THE TABLE.

#11 SHIT…THE TABLE. I DID THAT.

#12 FIRST NIGGA TO MURDER 7 OTHER BLOGGERS IN BLOG-SOAP OPERA. I DID THAT. MURKED ALL THEM NIGGAS. REST OF Y’ALL BITCH ASSES WAS JUST THINKING IT BUT WHO PULLED THE TRIGGER? ME NIGGA. THATS WHO.

#13 STARTED AN ONLINE COLLEGE (PJ UNIVERSITY-WESTSIDE) AND NOW NIGGAS LIKE DEVRY AND UNIVERSITY OF PHOENIX ALL IN MY KOOL-AID. FUCK THEM.

#14 YO, THAT ‘I HATE B.E.T’ SHIT? ALL ME NIGGA. NOW ITS FUCKIN SEXXY TO HATE B.E.T. FUCKERS.

#15 SPEAKING OF SHIT OTHER NIGGAS FUCKIN JACKED…THE ELLIPSE…I STARTED THAT SHIT. NOW I SEE THEM ALL OVER THE FUCKIN PLACE. NIGGAS JUST … LIKE CRAZY. FUCK YALL. THATS ALL ME.

#16 MAKING WORDS NOT RHYME THAT NORMALLY WOULD. WHEN I BE WRITING MY BLOGS HALF THEM SHITS DONT BE RHYMING. LOOK IN THE MIRROR NIGGA AND ASK YOURSELF WHO STARTED THAT SHIT. BEFORE ME Y’ALL WAS ON THAT SHAKESPEARE SONNET SOLILOQUY BULLSHIT. ME NIGGA, TRENDSETTER P, I MAKE THE WORDS SING NIGGA. AND IT AINT IN A/B FORMAT BITCH.

#17 PICKING UP CHICKS WITH STRICT WIT AND CHARM. ALL ME. UNLIKE THE REST OF Y’ALL BITCH ASS NIGGAS I NEVER SHOWED MY FACE AND STILL HAD CHICKS THROWING THEIR PROVERBIAL eDRAWZ AT ME. LICKEMHIGHLICKEMLOW69…I SEE YOU GIRL.

#18 THE WAY I WEAR MY WATCH. TWO RUBBERBANDS. WATCH. TWO MORE RUBBERBANDS. REST OF YALL JUST ROCK A WATCHBAND.

#19 SHOWED REAL STRIPPER LOVE BY SHOWING HOW IMPORTANT THEY ARE FOR THE WORLD. REST OF YALL JUST WATCH ‘EM. I EXALT AND EXPLAIN THEM. MAKE IT RAIN? NAW. I MAKE IT THUNDERSTORM.

#20 I COULD KEEP GOING BUT IM TIRED. FUCK YALL. HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY TRENDSETTING, LOOK AT WHAT I BRING TO THE TABLE.

A Life In The Day of Panama...26 Feb 2008 02:04 pm

Got dammit Puffy can’t act. Shit.

Three hours of my life I cannot get back. Sure it’s a good play. Sure it’s a good read.

Sure sure sure. Unsure unsure unsure.

However, watching NBC’s Sean Combs exec-produced “A Raisin In The Sun” just didn’t really churn my butter like I’d like it to have.

Oh well. Sadatay.

So, it’s finally happened. I knew it would happen one day but man…I just wasn’t ready.

Hmm..you know what else…the chick who played Ruth has a strong face; very strong features. Features on steroids, if you will.

Anyway, so the other day I did what any other self-respecting arrogant motherfucker would do on a daily basis.

I googled me.

Y’all heard that “Google Me” song? Yeah, to el authero of said song? Go kill yourself chica.

Anyway, so I googled msyelf and found out that this site no longer comes up as the top result on Google.

Oy vey and pity me. Man, that one kind of hit me hard. For years, anytime you put in Panama Jackson, this here site showed up with all of the trimmings, fuckery, and shenanigans one could ever want. Now, its my MySpace page. Granted, Jackson G. Tickle Ent comes up on the first page.

Come come now. I’m still Panama Muhfuckin’. Interestingly, part of the reason I restarted blogging is because I realized that there is another Panama Jackson on the web peddling in porn. Bi-sexual porn.

So yeah, um…it ain’t me. I swear it. Stack of stacks kid. Three stacks.

“…if you say real talk I probably won’t trust ya….”

It’s true. Real talk.

Well, part of my lack of blogtasticness is that I have a few other side projects being worked on right now. One that’s about to hit your living room in a few days (weeks). It’s a site with another cool motherfucker that’s been in the works for a minute. We’re taking over the game bitches.

You. Don’t. Want. Drama.

Panama Jackson? Oh yeah, you want him.

Anyway, be on the lookout. Penny for your thoughts? Naw, fuck that…a million for my propositions.

Homonym does not mean that words rhyme. Word.Life. Just in case you didn’t know.

PJ signing off bitches.

A Life In The Day of Panama... and Politics and Racemixin' and Welcome to Blackness08 Feb 2008 10:24 am

Interesting times this country finds itself in right about now.

We’ve already reached the point where history is changed forever. Either a woman or a Black man is going to be the actually electable nominee to be the next President of the United States.

Glory day. Who’d a thunk it? Not I. I can honestly say I didn’t expect a Black man to ever really be put in this position in my lifetime. But I’ll be a monkey’s uncle if it ain’t the case.

So yeah, what to do?

I really don’t care much for politics at all, strange considering my actual day job. I’m knee deep in political shit on a day to day basis. That’s probably why I don’t care for politics now. I’ve been made into a total skeptic. Add to the fact that I’ve spent so much time studying radical and revolutionary organizations and my view of a government by the people, for the people, and of the people is that it’s utter bullshit.

Which is ALSO funny considering that despite my lack of trust and belief in the government…I work for the motherfuckers.

Thing is, these folks pay me every two weeks. On-time. Government money doesn’t come short, ya dig? Yeah, we’re heading for a recession but I’ll bet I’ve got some job security, Jack.

And Jill.

So Senator Barack Obama has a legit chance. Now being the skeptic that I am, I really couldn’t care less who ends up in the White House, Republican or Democrat. I know the process for which government runs and I realize that ideas are just that. Many an idea has died at the feet of Congress and the Executive Branch. However, I suppose you still have to try and believe…have the audacity of hope, if you will.

I suppose.

But see, I’m also a Black man. And being that there is a real chance that a Black man could become President I’ve stumbled upon a cause as to why I simply have to throw my weight behind Obama.

I cannot be responsible for Obama NOT getting elected. You see, if he doesn’t get the nomination, I can’t be one of the responsible people. I just can’t. Not when a Black man has a real chance. I can always vote for Hillary later. And truth be told, I don’t necessarily believe in either one of them any more than other. But I mean…

…as a Black man, how can I not support another Black man in his hour of most need? I realize that a lot of Black people are supporting Hillary Clinton’s bid. You vote with your head and decide which candidate best reflects your views. However, I’m pretty sure that some people out there, if they REALLY examined their views, would end up on the Republican side of things, but they aren’t going to vote for McCain. Voting for who inspires you is important and neither of the candidates really inspires me.

However…to hell with the issues. As long as they aren’t SO off-base with my own beliefs, the Black man is getting my vote everytime. Unless that Black man is Jesse or Al because my Blackness also can’t allow me to vote for them for shit.

We don’t know when we’ll get this opportunity again and yes I’m playing the race card. How can I not support a viable Black candidate who’s politics are similar enough to Hillary Clinton. I don’t see how any Black person can. I just cannot be the reason he didn’t get the opportunity. I couldn’t live myself given all the walking and talking I do about the Black community.

I know a lot of women are saying that Hillary’s woman-ness will focus more on women’s issues. But seriously, in our nation, outside of Roe v. Wade, which issues pertain strictly to women. Sure there are issues in the workplace about equal pay and treatment. But hell, that ALSO straddles racial lines. The majority of issues our nation faces are class issues, not ones of gender.

And lest we forget, Obama is married to a Black woman who will be in his ear. And since Hillary has trumpeted her time as Slick Willie’s wife as viable experience in the White House, then Michelle Obama will turn out to be just as qualified to advise on issues related to womenhood and bring those ideas to him. And ain’t no Black wife gonna just sit around idly and let her man NOT address certain things. Hell, Black women get mad when they think we aren’t handling a dinner bill with an error the appropriate way. You think she WOULDN’T get straight gully if he wasn’t doing what he said he was going to do?

But I digress.

Fact is I’m Black. And one of my Black comrades has the chance to do what hasn’t be done before.

And I can’t be a person standing in his way. I have to help his way.

So Obama…here’s looking at you, kid.

Ba-Rack The Vote, bitches.

happy hunting.

In The News and Racemixin'03 Jan 2008 11:02 am

It’s a buyers market right now in these streets. If you’re looking for a home across the nation, chances are that you’re able to do some negotiating.

Unless you’re happy ass lives in New York City–specifically Manhattan.

As per CNN.com: Manhattan Home Prices: Still Crazy

Of course, it makes perfect sense to anybody who spends a few moments thinking about it. Manhattan is an island.

Class…what’s an island?

Isaac: Island is what happens before I get off the plane!

Oy vey. My guitar gently weeps for education in this country.

An island is a body of land surrounded by water. And do you know what that means? It means that there is no additional land in Manhattan. You can only build up unlike nearly everywhere else in the nation that’s begun to sprawl. Which of course means that the demand is outstripping supply.

See, unbuyers market. Those that can read might also refer to this as a “seller’s market”.

Peep game:

The median (midpoint) price for a condo or co-op apartment rose 15 percent to $915,000, according to the Corcoran Group, one of New York’s biggest brokers. Surveys by two other brokerages, Brown Harris Stevens and Halstead, showed 14 percent growth, to $828,000.

A survey by Prudential Douglas Elliman showed lower growth, at 6.4 percent, but a median price of $850,000.

Got damn. I’d love to say that puts housing prices in D.C. in perspective, however, I still think that prices are just too damn high here as well. There is no reason that a shell of a townhome should cost $400,000 in a neighborhood where folks still get robbed in broad daylight.

Like mine.

What this does let me know is that it is very likely that there is no way in Hades I’ll ever be copping a spot in Manhattan. Unless…

Even Manhattan’s bargain (comparatively) areas are getting into the act. “Prices are way up, uptown,” said Miller, “and the market share is much higher.” Many Manhattanites, priced out of other areas, have turned to Harlem and points north.

Hmm…do tell.

Corcoran lists a two-bedroom, 2,000 square-foot condo in Central Harlem for nearly $1.8 million. All told, Harlem prices rose a whopping 56 percent this year, to a median of $610,000, according to Halstead.

According to Liebman, Harlem will be a very hot market. “It’s easily commutable, many of the buildings have Central Park views and there are a lot of great buildings to redevelop; it has good bones. You get the most bang for the buck there.”

Ruh-roh.

You know, I’m not from New York but have been enough times where the allure of the city doesn’t excite me anymore. Now it’s just another place. However, I’ve always had this mystical like view of Harlem and it’s importance to the Black community.

It had a Renaissance for God’s sake. Do you realize how many niggas know what Renaissance mean solely because of the Harlem Renaissance?!

So with people looking for more bang for their buck, and rightfully so, you do realize that Harlem as we once knew it is ripe for the pickings and clearly on the way out. Black people?!

Do you hear me?

Harlem is on the way out.

Interesting enough, it almost baffles me why it’s taken so long for Harlem to completely flip anyway. Sure there are lots of white people making that trek currently. I remember walking down 125th Street and seeings lots of white people and thinking to myself, “I wondered when this was going to happen.”

Though let me also say this, I’m not sure who my world would react to the loss of both Harlem AND Bed-Stuy, as is happening. That’s just too much of a shock to my system. It’s like losing Morehouse AND Howard.

Fact is, housing is cheaper at a time when nationwide, gentrification is happening left and right. As much as I theoretically hate gentrification, I do understand it’s social implications. Though apparently all the Black folks in my neighbhorhood didn’t get the memo since white people STAY losing in my neighborhood.

In November, while getting out of his car after work, a chap was forced BACK into his car, robbed, THEN forced to enter his home where he was tied up and subsequently robbed again.

In my neighborhood. D.C. stand up. And this amidst $600K and $700K homes. AND not an isolated incident.

Nobody said gentrification was going to be easy.

And oh yes, Baltimore is insane. Do not live there.

Fact is, Harlem is going the way of the condor and with relative housing prices like they are in New York City…

…get ready to hear about the new reincarnation of the DipSet records…in Hoboken.

Next Page »